Tessa's POV
I walked into my room and closed the door, I heard Pietro speed away. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall out.
I have been too afraid to make a move because I'm not good for him and I'm afraid it'll ruin our friendship with Wanda and Sabrina.
And plus it was hard in the facility.
I went to the bathroom, closed and locked the door before sliding down the wall sobbing. Sabrina took away my last piece of happiness, the one person that makes my stomach dance in happiness.
I wanted to feel pain, I wanted to make my body know that I deserve to suffer. I wanted all of this pain and shakiness I felt in me be let out.
I wanted to see the blood dripping off of me, I never wanted to breath again.
The fire wasn't going to be enough.
I grabbed the pack of razor blades and opened them with blurry vision and shaky hands. There was a warning on the back but I ignored it and unwrapped the blades.
I shakingly held it in my hand before rolling up my jacket.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before putting a deep cut around the middle of my forearm, I felt relieved and I liked the pain. I opened my eyes and saw the blood start coming to the surface of the skin.
I choked on my quiet sobs before making five more lines. I rolled up my other sleeve and did seven.
There was blood dripping on the floor and I felt a little dizzy— this is when I realized I had nothing to clean up the cuts with.
I looked around before grabbing some toilet paper- it didn't do much there was too much blood.
I looked around and saw a white hand towel, I cussed under my breath and grabbed it before applying pressure.
I hated how I had normal metabolism so I didn't have quick healing, well if it was a serious wound in would heal a little quicker but not that much faster.
The blood started calming down, I took some masking tape and covered the wounds with toilet paper before taping it down.
I grabbed some peroxide and scrubbed the blood off the floor and towel but the towel was stained. How was I finna explain this to stark?
I put the towel in the garbage and would just tell them it was juice.
I went to lay down from dizziness, I closed the blinds and fell asleep crying softly.
Tessa walked home from school and ran inside excited "Alejo! Alejo! Am luat cea mai mare notă la testul de științe!" (I got the highest score on science test) Tessa cheered before throwing her bag off her shoulders and pulling out the crumpled up paper.
She gave it to Alejo who looked at the 97 and a smiley face "Este uimitor, TeTe! O să primești înghețatăе mai târziu."(this is amazing TeTe, your getting ice cream later)
The seven year old cheered before Alejo drained the spaghetti. In the distance was machine guns but they were used to it by now.
They ate dinner then went to get ice cream safetly down the street "Vă mulțumesc, doamnă!" (Thank you ma'am!) Tessa said happily before jogging out of the store licking her ice cream.
They were almost home when a whistle was heard. The same whistle before Tessa and Alejo's home got destroyed.
I woke up to someone rubbing my back "you ok Tessa" It was Nat. I groaned and rolled over "ya, I'm ok" I sat up and yawned.
"We had a movie night last night, I went to see if you were awake but I saw you were sleeping and your face is tear stained" she gave me a sad look, I loved Nat she was always so caring to the other avengers. Clint and Nat were like the parents of all of us.
I stood up and she gave me a hug "if you need to talk about it im here" she said before breaking the hug. "Thank you Nat, and im fine it was just a hard night- but just don't tell anyone else please. I don't need them worrying" she nodded and walked out.
I got ready and changed, I went to look at the cuts. I threw the bandages away, they were still bleeding a little but had a scratch on them.
I felt bad for doing it, I've never had trouble with mental health but life has been getting hard and I needed to do it.
All I could think about while getting dressed and brushing my teeth was that dream, I had completely forgotten about that memory. I did have high grades but that's because it was easy.
I missed Alejo a lot.
I walked out to kitchen to see Nat cuddling with Bucky, I knew they've been getting close but I thought they were dating since forever-
I went to go grab Frosted Flakes when Sabrina came over to me "I would say your bloated but- I think your naturally like that" she hummed and grabbed her cereal.
Sabrina had always been skinnier than me but I'm not overweight, I've always been around 10 pounds underweight.
I looked at my stomach and realized I was a little bloated. I was also wearing a tight crop top with sweats so that didn't make it any better. I sighed and put the cereal away, I don't even look bad!
I just grabbed a protein bar and sat near Pietro and Wanda. "You not hungry?" Pietro asked before eating his cereal "no, I ate late last night" I lied.
Nat gave me a weird look before I turned away.
After about thirty minutes of talking to Pietro, Wanda, and Sabrina I wanted to go on a run. I decided to take the trail I took a few days ago. I put in a long sleeve crop top just in case someone saw.
I put in my AirPods and put on my favorite playlist, I let all my thoughts disappear into thin air and just focused on Billie Eilish's voice fill my head.
I turned down the trail where I tripped last time and kept walking. About 50 meters later on a Turn I saw something on the corner of my eye, I quickly turned my head to see what it was. Nothing was there.
I shook my head and kept jogging, I kept seeing somebody in the corner of my eyes "who's there!" I yelled after taking an AirPod out.
No one responded and no one was there, thinking about it more deeply I didn't even hear any leaves except for the squirrels and me.
I burrowed my eyebrows before I continued running.
I took a quick break and put my hands on my knees, I closed my eyes and started thinking about the dream I had last night, I couldn't stop thinking about his dead body right under me, his blood all over my hands and the people screaming.
I let out a deep breath before standing back up straight and sighing, I was about to run again when I heard something.
I turned around and saw Alejo standing there, blood all over him. His face was all blacked out.
"Alejo?" I walked up to him with a ghost white face. "You killed me TeTe" he sounded like he was in pain "you didn't do enough. You didn't save me" he glitched up to me and I jumped back.
I closed my eyes when he reached his hand out and touched me "this isn't real this is real" I kept repeating.
I felt a hand go threw me and I screamed in pain before he disappeared and I fell to the ground.
My eyes were still squinted shut, when I looked back up I saw a woman with black hair screaming in a fire "Tessy! Tessy!" She screamed at me.
Only my mom called me Tessy. "Mom? Mom!" I stood up and ran to her "help me!" "Help me Tessy! Please!" She cried and screamed out in agony.
"Mom!" I screamed while rushing into the fire. I felt burns and I fell to the ground and closed my eyes, while I was on my hands and knees.
I opened my eyes, mom and the fire was gone. "Mom?" I called out. I saw someone behind me and quickly stood up. He glitched in front of me making me jump back again.
"You killed me and our parents" he put another hand on my abdomen and I screamed in agony before my hands turned to fire. The trees lit on fire and the grass around me did too, it turned to ice and then grew vines before blowing like a tornado was around.
I fell to the ground while his hand felt like it was pulling out my organs, everything around me was fire and ice.
"Stop!" I screamed before curling in the fetal position on the ground, my shirt was all bloody and I felt blood starting coming up my throat.
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