Chapter Forty One: Also Him
"Nababaliw ka na ba?" natatawa kong sabi sa kanya.
Binato ko yung kahon ng tissue sa kanya pagkatapos kong sabihin yo'n at ipinagpatuloy ang pagubos sa french fries ko. Natawa rin siya sa sinabi ko at kinuha ang kahon ng tissue na tinapon ko sa kanya and took a tissue and wiped the corner of my lips.
"Baliw ka na talaga, ha?"
"Yup, baliw na baliw sa'yo."
"Tumahimik ka nga!"
We're eating right now at his apartment, he wanted to invite me in and eat dinner together, siya raw magluluto pero hindi siya nagtagumpay at muntik pa nga niyang masunog yung buong lababo niya malapit sa kusina.
Umorder na lang kami ng pagkain sa McDo, ako naman puro lamon ng fries dito, kumain ako ng burger pero iba lang kasi talaga yung fries nila sa McDo.
I can eat as much fries as I want since wala naman akong shoot tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, so I'm happy that I get some time off for now.
Back to back kasi ang mga shoots ko this week, kakatapos lang din ng last shoot ko today, and coincidentally, Alexander also finished his job for today and so invited me to eat dinner with him.
"Seriously, that's crazy, Alexander. You can't do that to Silas!"
"And why not? It's just a sweet little revenge--"
"Sweet little revenge? You made him hope that you're going to be part of the GOOD GUY models and then you'll reject him last minute?"
Natawa siya ulet sa sinabi ko.
May pinaplano kasi si Silas na GOOD GUY project for his agency just to hype everyone up. He has a lot of projects for this year and more years to come kahit na bago pa lang ang agency niya.
Silas wanted Alexander to be part of it despite being the CEO of the rival agency but they're still good friends, Alexander agreed but he rejected last minute before the actual contract signing for the GOOD agency, what an idiot.
Kahit na gano'n sigurado akong 'di galit si Silas, bwisit lang yun tapos tatawa, he'll think of it as something amusing and just something he should have expected but he didn't, he's an idiot too.
"You can't do that! Buti nga at si Silas yo'n, kung ibang tao yun siguradong magagalit sila sa'yo, you can't do that, kahit na ikaw ang hari ng pamilya mo, 'di pa rin maganda yo'n." dagdag ko and took a sip of my Diet Coke.
Alam kong iba ang reputasyon ng apelyido ni Alexander, at dahil siya na ang hari ng pamilya niya, I'm sure that many would be watching his steps and would also respect him.
He's already doing a great job as a CEO, 'di nga 'ko makapaniwala na may oras pa siya para ligawan ako.
"I'll try to not do it anymore, unless he pulls--"
"Oh shush, tapusin niyo na nga yung away niyong dalawa."
"We're not fighting, Katerina."
"You guys look like it, kahit nung nasa high school pa ta'yo--"
"That's because he keeps flirting with you, he knows that it infuriates me and he loves to see me upset and just... out of it."
So... selos?
Kahit na gano'n si Silas sa'kin wala naman akong gusto sa kanya at tsaka pa magkaibigan lang kami who loves to flirts.
I learned a lot from him and if he wasn't being himself towards me then we wouldn't be best of friends now, right?
"He is a flirt, but... I'm sure he's not the same anymore."
"At paano mo naman alam?"
"That man has a girlfriend."
"Ah, you mean his new girl?" he smirks.
"No? He's actually serious about her, Cardoza."
Silas is so serious about his relationship with Charlotte.
Ang tagal niya nga ring naghintay para lang sumuko na si Charlotte sa kanya, kaso nga lang baliw din ang lalaking 'to, magaling sa babae pero 'di magaling mang-amin sa nararamdaman niya kapag may gusto talaga siyang babae.
But you could see it, you could see the way he looks at her, it's beautiful, it's amazing how Charlotte changed Silas just like that.
"Silas is really serious about her. He didn't flirt, touch, kissed, or sleep with other girls because of her before they even dated, that's crazy."
Alam ko, Alexander.
Nakakapagtaka rin talaga kung bakit at paano naging gano'n si Silas, it doesn't even sound like Silas before but hey... that doesn't mean he can't change, right?
"Oh, well... as long as he's... himself, then it's okay."
"Yup."
"Let's forget Nakamoto, okay? Let's talk about... tomorrow."
Hm? What about tomorrow?
Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko na hawak yung cup ng Diet Coke na iniinom ko at hinalikan niya ang palad ko bago niya ipinagpatuloy ang sasabihin niya.
"Are you busy?"
"Wala bang sinasabi si Ares sa'yo tungkol sa schedule ko?"
"Nope."
"Why not? You're his boss, you could just ask him."
"Yeah but he's my brother and he wouldn't let me, I wish I could so I know everything about you, love."
Shit, love?
Pa minsan minsan tinatawagan niya na 'kong love, minsan iniisip ko rin na tinatawagan niya 'kong love dahil gusto niya 'kong pakiligin at kinikilig naman din ako, I mean it's Alexander, paano namang 'di ako kikiligin?
"I want to ask you on a date."
"Date? Saan nanaman, hm?" ngiti ko.
"You're gonna love it, I promise you."
"Alright--"
"And you're gonna love me too."
Baliw.
Baliw talaga.
Binato ko yung paper bag sa mukha niya pagkatapos, bwisit ka talaga, ganyan nanaman ang galawan mo, feeling ko nakukuha mo 'to kay Brent kaysa kay Silas.
We finished eating dinner and after a few more conversations then I returned back to my own apartment just next to his.
Naghimasa ako at nagsipilyo na rin bago ako natulog, ang bilis din ng tulog ko at ang ganda rin ng napaginipan ko.
I ate a light breakfast because I know na marami kaming kakaining dalawa ni Alexander mamaya sa date na'min, puro rin kami lamon and I'm not complaining.
Not at all.
I used a hair straightener and then wore a white crop top and light blue straight-leg boyfriend jeans, I also wore my favorite pair of sneakers and then chose to bring my Prada nylon bag.
Nagmakeup na rin ako ng konti, natural and effortless at the same time.
And now, I'm ready.
Nakarinig agad ako ng katok mula sa pinto at tiningnan ko muna ang sarili sa salamin bago ko binuksan ang pinto.
Grabe.
He's wearing a navy blue button-down shirt with both sleeve ending on his arms, he's also wearing a belt and some jeans and also some sneakers too.
And of course, he's wearing that smile too.
Fuck, he's hot.
"Hey."
"H-Hey..."
Shit, ngayon nabalik na 'ko sa realidad.
'Di ako makapaniwala sa nakikita ko.
Ang gwapo niya talaga, parang sa tuwing nakikita ko siya mas lalo akong nagagwapuhan ulet sa kanya, para lang nung nasa highschool kami.
And that smile, I swear... I swear!
Kinababaliwan ko yata yang ngiti niya at kung gaano ka-asul yang mga mata niya.
"Morning."
"Morning din."
Lumapit siya sa'kin at hinawakan ang kanan kong kamay ng mahigpit bago siya nagiwan ng halik sa likod no'n habang nasa akin para ang pokus ng mga mata niya.
"You're gorgeous, you know that?"
Kung alam mo lang kung gaano kabilis ang tibok ng puso ko ngayon, sumosobra ka na yata, Alexander.
Ewan ko ba, parang gusto na kitang sagutin for some reason but no... I can't just do that.
He has yet to prove himself, I waited for him for a long time and it's only right for me to make him wait, right?
"Thanks, and you look... good." I smiled back.
"Thanks, I appreciate that, love."
Fuck, fuck you, Alexander. Just fuck you.
I locked the door and we walked together with our hands holding each other tightly, his hand is so warm and comfortable, lagi akong 'di komportable kapag nakikipagholding hands ako sa mga boyfriend ko noon dahil pinagpapawisan ang kamay ko.
But it's different with him, I feel comfortable at ang lambot din ng kamay niya. Gusto kong pigilan ang ngiti ko pero 'di ko kaya, ang saya ko masyado.
"What's up?"
"Hm?"
"No I... you look happy." bulong niya sa'kin ng palakad kami papunta sa kotse niya sa parking lot.
"Because I am happy, Cardoza."
"Happy because of me?" sabi niya sabay kindat at bukas ng pinto ng kotse para sa'kin.
"Stop it."
"Make me." he smirks.
"You know I can't do that."
"I know, I did this to myself, but this..." he paused and left a kiss on the knuckles of my right hand.
"...will do~" he adds.
We sat inside the car and buckled our own seatbelts before he started driving.
'Di ko pa rin alam kung saan kami papunta pero ang alam ko lang parang excited siya at excited din ako, pareho kaming excited para sa date na'min today.
Pero nagtataka tuloy ako kung wala ba siyang trabaho ngayong araw, it's still a work day so...
"Wala ka bang trabaho?"
"Nope, I canceled everything today just for you, for us."
"You can't do th--"
"Rina, no. I made my decision and besides, it's not a big deal."
"Alexan--"
"Just let me have this day with you, it's special! Please? 'Wag ka ng magreklamo, ayoko ng marinig na Alexander, mali yo'n, o Alexander dapat 'di mo yo'n ginawa because I'm not going to hear it."
I laughed at his words. I do it all the time, maybe it's because I've been so used to talking to him like this, I'm his best friend, and... I learned my limits as his bestfriend too so yeah.
"Okay, Mr. CEO."
"No, call me something else... inaasar mo nanaman ako."
"Sige na, Alexand--"
"Not that either."
Oh no.
No!
Alam ko ang gusto niyang marinig pero nababaliw ba siya?
No way I'm going to call him like that, lumawak lang ang ngiti niya habang naghihintay sa'kin.
"Alex."
"Nope."
"Baliw ka na talaga."
Nakangiti lang siya habang nagmamaneho, nahihiya akong tawagin siya na gano'n, tsaka 'di ko pa nga siya boyfriend umaakto na talaga siyang parang boyfriend ko na, no way, just no way.
"I thought you were gonna practice, tsk, you're a liar, Rina."
"I'm not going to practice anything... and obviously I was just joking at that time, Alexander Seth Cardoza."
"Joking? When did you become such a jokester, Miranda?"
"Just shush, Cardoza." I said, rolling my eyes at him.
He laughed and left another kiss on my knuckles, he thinks he's so funny but he isn't.
Ayoko ring mag babe babe o love love sa mga exes ko noon, I was just not the type of person who would call my significant other something like that.
But maybe someday I would do it... for Alexander.
We'll see.
And then we're here, and it totally surprised me.
This is Ocean Park. Manila Ocean Park, oh my gosh.
I've never been here, surprisingly, wala kasing akong time at minsan 'di ako nakakapunta sa field trip ko sa high school at Ocean Park ang puntahan din.
Magal din kasi ang tuition pero sinusubukan ko ring makapunta dahil si Genevieve ang makakasama ko, minsan nakakapunta ako sa mga field trip na papunta sa ibang university for educational purposes.
"This is--"
"Remember when you said that you couldn't come to the field trip although you wanted to come to Ocean Park?"
What the fuck, he remembered?
"How--"
"I told you, alam ko ang lahat, natatandaan ko ang lahat pagdating sa'yo, let's go." he smiled even wider and grabbed me closer to him once again.
'Di ako makapaniwalang nandito ako, e'to yung mismong lugar na sinasabi sa'kin ni Genevieve na gusto niyang ipakita sa'kin kaso wala akong pera pambayad ng field trip o kahit makapunta dito.
I'm screaming, oh shit.
Ang una kong napansin pagpasok namin ay yung mga titig ng mga tao sa loob sa'min, muntik ko ng makalimutan na kilala pala si Alexander, he's been interviewed in the television before and he went viral for his looks, or maybe because of how handsome he is.
His blue eyes, kind of arrogant smile, and just his presence is enough to blow everyone's mind, e'to po pala yung nanliligaw sa'kin.
"Hey, you good?" bulong niya.
"Yeah... I am good, just... ang dami kasing nakatingin sa'tin." tawa ko.
"Nakatingin sa'tin kasi ang ganda mo, yun lang yun."
"Baka naman dahil sa'yo, gwapo mo."
"Tsk, pinapakilig mo ba 'ko, Rina?"
Natawa ako sa sinabi niya sabay palo sa balikat niya, 'di ako magaling magpakilig 'no, I do like flirting because of Silas but kilig?
It's different in my opinion.
"I wish I could do that." bulong ko sa sarili ko.
"Hm?"
"Nothing! Let's go." I said and tightened my hold on his hand.
Surprisingly, the first thing we went to was the World of Creepy Crawlies attraction.
Sa una natakot ako dahil sa mga bugs at pati na rin sa mga parang mukhang butiki na nakita ko, tawa lang din si Alexander ng pinikturan niya 'ko habang nasa may kamay ko yung Chameleon.
He laughed like an idiot and I'm here in fear, I'm still scared, and he was just laughing!
We went to Oceanarium after.
When I tell you na ang nalaglag ang panga ko ng makita ko yung stingray, talagang nalaglag yung panga ko, it's so huge!
I mean I knew they are huge but it's different when it's just right in front of you, you know?
"Alexander! Pikturan mo 'ko, dali!" sigaw ko sa kanya at agad niyang kinuha ulet ang phone niya and took a picture with me making stupid expressions right in front of the rays.
"Lakihan mo pa bunganga mo, dali!" asar niya, gamit niya pa yung tono na ginagamit ng mga tito at tita ko kapag gusto nila akong pikturan nung graduation ko.
"Loko 'to!" sabi ko sabay bato sa kanya ng bag ko.
The Oceanarium was amazing, ang daming isda at 'di ako nagutom ah.
It was truly beautiful and I feel like I could come here again and this time with Genevieve.
Damn it, I miss her.
She's been so busy these days, it's crazy.
And then we got here.
"This... I'm actually surprised they have this here..."
"Oh my--"
"...I know you're gonna love this, I just knew you would."
Jellyfishes. This is the Jellies exhibit, and it's crazy.
Oo, takot ako sa Jellyfish pero kakaiba 'tong nakikita 'ko. It's like LED lights in the dark but Jellyfishes, and it's so fucking gorgeous!
What the heck?
"Alexander--"
"It's gorgeous, right?"
Nagtama ang mga mata namin sa isa't-isa sa sinabi niya at parang naiiyak ako dahil sa ganda ng nakikita ko, it's so pretty!
Kinuha ko agad ang phone ko at pinikturan yung mga Jellyfish, I know I'm scared of them but for once they looked... effortlessly beautiful.
They also look so exquisite, wow. Just wow.
"Hey, let me take a picture with you and your new friends." tawa niya.
Pero bago niya hinablot ang phone ko mula sa kamay ko, tiningnan ko siya at hinarap ang phone ko sa'ming dalawa at hinila ko siya papalapit sa'kin habang nasa likod na'min yung mga Jellyfish.
"Smile." I whisper.
And then I took a picture of us with the Jellyfish. I know that this kind of date is not as mind-blowing but it's enough to just make me smile like this.
It's cute, it's something I've watched before in romantic movies, and then slowly by slowly their hands will find each other's, and then--
"Rina."
"O-Oh?"
Shet. Muntik na 'ko doon, kung ano ano nanaman ang napapadpad sa kokote ko, nginitian ko siya at huminga ng malalim sa kanya.
"I want you to send the picture later."
"Of course." I nod.
"And... Alexander..."
"Hm?"
Binalik ko ulet ang tingin ko sa kanya at lumawak lang ang ngiti ko sa kanya, ako na ang mismo ang humawak sa kanan niyang kamay.
"Salamat." simula ko, doon din siya napangiti ulet.
"I can't believe you took me to a place I wanted to visit during the field trips I missed, and I'm here with you. And 'di rin ako makapaniwala na nakabisita ko 'to for the first time with you."
May nakita ako kanina na Bird Show dito, baka naman pwede kaming makapanood ng Bird Show, at may narinig din akong Sea Lion show daw dito?
Genevieve told me about this before, she didn't say that it was a Sea Lion but described it as animals and then mermaid looking or something.
Ewan ko ba kung anong pinagsasabi niya pero alam ko agad na Sea Lion ang tinutukoy niya.
"Oh, first time... with me? That sounds... memorable." bulong niya at dahan-dahang inilapit ang sarili niya sa'kin.
Alam ko na madilim dito at ang mga Jellyfish lang ang umiilaw dito pero umiilaw din yung asul na mga mata ni Alexander na nakatitig sa'kin, it's beautiful, it's always been beautiful in my eyes.
"Stop it, Rina."
"What?"
My forehead creased from his words, anong meron sa kanya at bigla bigla na lang siyang naglalabas ng mga ganyang salita samantalang wala pa nga akong ginagawa?
"Don't look at me like that."
Oh.
I didn't realize that I was too focused staring at his blue eyes, what can I do? Ang ganda eh!
Nakakasilaw din at nakakalunod, problema niya na yun kasi pinanganak siya na ganyan ang mga mata.
"Why not?" asar ko.
"Because... now I want to kiss you."
Huh, you can't do that, Alexander.
Nililigawan mo pa lang ako, walang tayo, tinaggihan mo pa nga yung halik ko dahil seryoso ka sa'kin, you wanted to prove it.
"You can."
"Rin--"
"But you wanted to be serious, to prove that you love me, so... it's your problem, not mine--"
I chuckled.
"--love."
One thing that I love is whenever I torture him.
Lumalabas yung ugat niya sa leeg at pataas sa may noo niya tapos yung kamay niya naging kamao sabay kagat din sa labi niya, he's doing all of these to stop himself, to hold himself back.
"What? Practicing."
"You're joking again, fuck, Rina. You can't do that."
"Manliligaw lang kita, hindi mo 'ko girlfriend--"
"Doon din naman tayo papunta, Katerina. Shit, fine... just..."
Sumobra ba 'ko?
'Di naman yata akong sumobra, I just called him love, he started it first earlier, I just followed!
"...I love you." bigla niyang sabi na ikinasorpresa ko.
I was caught off guard.
"I love you and you're right, I want to be taken seriously and I want to prove my love for you but it's hard because you're there and I waited for a long time... but this is what I chose." dagdag niya at hinalikan ang kamay ko ulet.
"I can't kiss you so I'll just kiss your hand since I love every single thing about you."
Gago.
Pinapakilig mo ba 'ko?
Kasi gumagana, it's fucking working, Alexander.
"I just... think your eyes are beautiful, yun lang naman. I loved it."
"I hope that's not the only thing you loved about me." he chuckled and left a few more kisses on my knuckles.
I smiled bitterly knowing that I didn't just loved his blue eyes, his smile, his presence, or his personality.
But I also loved him.
So much.