S9 EP1&2
MARK LAID ON THE HOSPITAL bed, feeling... weak.
Staying awake, staying alive was exhausting beyond he ever thought of, and yet despite his determination to fight, he could feel his body weakening by the minute.
Stay strong. Please stay strong for them.
"Don't tell Callie. She's about to operate on Derek," he told Webber, who was lowering his bed. "Derek doesn't need to go in this surgery worried, so don't say anything to him."
"They can reschedule the surgery, Mark," Webber reasoned, "I'm sure they'd want to."
"No," the man on the bed cut him off. "That surgery's gonna get Derek back into the OR where he belongs. Nobody's got better hands than him... No, Norah's got better hands than him... Derek knows it, too. He just... has too big of an ego to admit it."
He chuckled slightly at the thought, "Have you looked at her hands? They're beautiful. And I'm going to... was going to... put a ring on that hand."
"You will," Webber spoke, sitting down beside his bed.
"She's perfect, you know? And gosh, she really doesn't even know how perfect she is. Sometimes you wish people... would just see themselves the way you do," Mark muttered and let out a long exhale. "And Kai, my little man, he's eight months old, but he already looks so big... H-He really is a Sloan...
"Listen to me," Mark panted, drawing a breath in as he looked at Webber. "This is surge talking?"
"No, this is you. This is all you," Webber reassured with a tight smile. "So keep going... 'Cause I'm not going anywhere."
❦ ❦ ❦
WEBBER SAT NEXT TO Mark, who breathed heavily; the latter could barely move his body now. He watched as the man on the bed struggled to fight, to live. "Norah would want to be here," Webber voiced out.
"She would... I know she would," Mark mustered a smile back at him, "But she is playing... with Kai right now... And Kai needs his mom... with him."
"Kai won't-"
"Kai won't go anywhere... I know... but I can't see her... breaking again," he admitted; the scream in the woods still haunted him. "I can't... because one thing t-that scares me more than dying... is not being able to hold her in my arms when she breaks... A-And she has to be strong for our son..."
He somewhat knew that she would not be able to forgive him. But for the first time, he understood how it felt to push the people you love away-in a wish that it would hurt less for yourself. He did not want her to watch as he would possibly leave her, too.
Webber sat silently with a face of empathy; Mark could feel his chest tightening and his lungs closing in-breathing was no longer as easy as it had been. He could hear his own labored breathing; the deep inhales he drew in, and the deep exhales he let out...
It was exhausting. Staying awake was exhausting.
The last thing he heard before the sounds went muffled was the rapid beeping of his heart monitor, followed by a voice shouting for a crash cart.
His last thought before he closed his eyes was his promise to her, the ring in the drawer, and the grin on his little man's face.
And then, he fell into a deep sleep.
❦
A PART OF HER WITHERED when Norah received the 9-1-1 page with his name and room number on it.
She somewhat knew that he would alarm her sooner or later. But for the first time, she understood why he did not request her to be by his side-he could not bear to hurt either of them. She did not want him to feel guilty for possibly breaking her again.
And so she placed a kiss on their son's head for him.
❦ ❦ ❦
EVERYBODY EXPECTED Norah Lawrence to scream, to cry, to trash their apartment... but she did neither of those.
Her days continued-consults, research, daycare, physical therapy-then, she would spend the night in Mark's room, sharing with him about her day.
It would be the same; sometimes, she would joke about the idiots who came into the ER after a freak accident or rant when there was an awesome neurosurgery that she could not operate. There were days, where she would bring Kai along with her because the father-and-son, too, needed each other.
It was a constant loop.
But what scared her the most was how it hurt lesser and lesser every time he did not respond to her words.
―
"Your eyes... They're pretty."
"And yours are the only reason I'm sane right now."
―
She started to miss the bright blue eyes that glowed up whenever he saw her-the one she frequently lost herself in, taking a dip in them whenever she needed to shelter herself from the harshness in the real world.
Please wake up.
❦ ❦ ❦
NORAH CAUGHT A GLANCE at the intern, who stood a distance from the nurses' station, staring at the surgeons in navy scrubs. She raised a brow before clicking her tongue, gaining Bailey's attention.
The attending followed the brunette's gaze to the intern, who hugged a thick chart in her hand, her face looking fearful and slightly pale. "What's the problem?"
"I have these labs... for Dr Grey," Jo Wilson replied, her voice quavering.
"Well, then give them to her," Bailey deadpanned, and the intern walked towards them, slowly-and unsurely.
"I've been waiting for those for over an hour."
"I had to do an admission-"
"Stop making excuses," Meredith cut her off harshly while seizing the chart from the intern's hands.
"Sorry."
"Stop apologising."
"Oka-"
"Stop talking," Meredith snapped. Norah let out a low whistle while Bailey had the corner of her mouth turned upwards, notably taking pride in the surgeon that was once her intern. Jo looked horrified.
"His lactic acid is normal. What does that tell us?" Meredith lifted her head from the chart to the intern, who stared back at her. The latter's words caught in her throat as she stared at the attending with a conflicted look on her face. Meredith sighed, "You can talk now."
"That he's probably not septic, so he's gonna be fine," Jo answered hastily, and Meredith tilted her head at the intern. "Although-his white cell count is elevated, so I should probably keep an eye on that-In fact, I will keep an eye on that so that he doesn't go-"
"Go to the pit and try not to kill anybody," Meredith cut her off at her unamusingly; Jo exhaled shakily before hurrying off.
❦
THE REST OF THE INTERNS gulped when they saw their friend walking away with a distressed look on her face. Leah Murphy passed the chart in her hand to Stephanie Edwards, who quickly gave it to Shane Ross, who looked through the chart curiously before widening his eyes and shoving it to Heather Brooks.
"What?" Heather quirked a brow when the chart landed in her hands, along with good luck wishes from the rest of the interns. She opened it and took a quick look at the patient's status before lifting her head back to the others. "Medusa doesn't freeze brains. Why are you guys so afraid?"
"Because it's a Neuro case," Shane replied with a hesitant smile, nudging his head at the group of their bosses. "It's... Dr Psycho over there."
Stephanie furrowed her brows as she glanced at him. "Why do we call her Dr Psycho again?"
"Rumour was, she was admitted in Psych after the plane accident... with restrains."
"Her boyfriend is in a coma."
"She's a ticking time bomb."
"Wait-isn't it fiancé?"
"I heard she didn't accept his proposal."
"She can hear you, you know?" Nina's voice rang behind the group of interns, who jumped collectively at the Chief Resident's snap. They turned around apologetically, looking between the frown on Nina's face, then back to the Neuro fellow.
Norah had turned her chair in the direction where the interns had scurried off instantly, leaving Heather with the chart in her hand. Norah sighed, "What do you got for me?"
"Um... brains," the intern replied as she walked over and handed the chart to the brunette.
Norah narrowed her eyes at the chart while tapping her fingers against the desk; her pen had rolled away and off the edge of the table, but Heather had caught it before it hit the floor.
"Thanks," the fellow muttered before staring at the intern with a stern face. "This patient is bleeding into his brain, and it's starting to swell," the former pointed out. "What does that tell us?"
"Uh, that... he could die or go loopy?"
Norah blinked at her, finding her phrasing of words fairly amusing. "That he should already be in the OR an hour ago instead of you lot gossiping around of my soon-to-be-dead boyfriend!" she snapped suddenly, and the intern immediately took the chart and fled.
She leaned back into her seat, eyeing the two other attendings, who were staring at her. "What?"
"You good?" Bailey queried.
"Fantastic," Norah merely rolled her eyes before lowering her head back to her work.
Meredith furrowed her brows at the brunette before turning to the older attending. "She's good."
"Has she...?"
"Not a drop."
❦ ❦ ❦
"DIDN'T SEE YOU WITH KAI upstairs. Thought I'd find you in here."
Norah opened her eyes to see Derek entering the patient room, sliding the glass door shut behind him. "Did you seriously have to wake me up?"
"You weren't sleeping-your fingers were tapping," the attending pointed out before sitting on the chair; she rubbed her palms on her scrub pants before turning to him. The both of them sat opposite each other, with Mark between them on the hospital bed.
"It's one o'clock."
"It is."
The long and uneasy silence made their words sink in their heads.
"I don't... I don't wanna let him go, Derek."
He sighed heavily, staring at the man, whom he could call his brother, having the same stinging feeling in his chest. "I don't, either."
―
"Hello there."
"Ignore my presence. I'm just here to pull some files..."
―
"You know, the first sentence I spoke to him was to ask him to ignore me," Norah chuckled lightly at the memory, "And I nearly called him an arrogant bastard."
"An arrogant bastard? As an intern?" Derek laughed along, amused. "I'm trying to be impressed, but that totally sounds like something you'd do."
"Yeah... I can't believe we agreed to be strictly friends at one point," she added with a snort, shaking her head.
"Well, how did that work out?"
"Obviously, it didn't," she mused, shaking her head. She let out another sigh, sinking in her seat. "I'm really glad it didn't..."
Norah stared at Mark on the bed; he looked... peaceful. His hand that she held in hers was still warm, but it did not return the squeeze that she had been repeating for over the past hour.
"God-everything was working out. We have Kai, and he was gonna propose. I was gonna marry him, a-and maybe we could've welcomed our second child in a few months-but now?" she felt a sting in her nose, "Everything's gone-everyone's gone. Why does this keep happening to me? H-How did I end up here? What have I done to end up here?"
Derek wanted to say something-anything-but he could not make out a single word.
―
"I'm here now, aren't I? I'll be right here when you wake up-I'll always be here. So, close your eyes, okay? You won't be alone. I promise."
―
And then, her first tear since thirty days rolled down her face, followed by an outbreak of silent sobs and hyperventilation.
It was not that the realisation or reality had sunk in as she did Timothy-it was the dream and imagination about their should-be future that cut off the thin piece of string.
The thin string fell slowly but steadily-until it hit the ground soundlessly.
She had descended to rock bottom, and she was alone with no cries for help.
❦ ❦ ❦
- SEATTLE; 16:50 -
THE GLASS DOOR WAS still shut; the two people in the room were living a last moment.
Outside the patient's room, the group that came to say their last goodbyes grew larger by the minute. The whole floor was silent-an eerie silence that could haunt their minds.
"Derek, she has to let us in there, you know?"
"There's still ten minutes, Richard. Give her the time..."
"Derek, I can't be in there when you guys take him off the ventilator... because I have to be with our son when he loses his father. A-And I can't let Kai watch his dad..."
"What if she refuses to-"
"-let him go?" Derek turned to Webber, a sorrowful look on both their faces. "She will... Physically, at least. But mentally? She might never. So just... give her the time. There's still hope. Our last hope."
He stared at both his best friends, feeling the aching sting in his chest and his tears that were threatening to fall.
The both of them were perfect for each other, yet the world was sometimes a cruel place.
"They have to get their happy ending," he spoke. "I'm praying upon a miracle."
Webber sighed, placing one hand on Derek's shoulder. "We all are."
❦
NORAH LIFTED HER HEAD to the ticking clock on the wall.
Eight minutes.
She could sense the surgeons outside already prepared to enter, and she knew she would be leaving the room soon-there was no way she would stay to watch him take his last breath.
She was racking her brains, searching for what else she needed to say to him. But the truth was, she had already said all that she wanted to, all that she could.
―
"Promise me you'll be here when I wake up?"
"I promise."
―
She wanted nothing more than to hear his voice; that voice of his that called her by the nickname he came up with-one she had grown to love, just like how much she loved him.
She dragged herself up from the armchair, reaching over to the heart monitor and switched off the beeping sound of it.
―
"Your heart's beating very fast. Has it always been this fast?"
"Why do you think it's racing?"
―
She slumped back down, her entire body already numb, her eyes almost swollen from crying. She was no longer teary now-she knew it hurt him to see her cry.
She held his hand in hers, pressing a kiss at the back of it, before intertwining their fingers together while she traced in the middle of his palm-just like he often did hers.
She never got to figure out what he traced or whether there even was a specific thing he was tracing-but in his palm, she traced out eight letters in repeat.
She rested her head on his chest, right above his heart, just like she always did the nights they slept-even though this time, he did not hug his arm around her to pull her closer to him.
But for one more time, she needed to listen to his beating heart.
Lub dub... lub dub... lub dub...
"I still need you by my side, you know? You said that I won't be alone... Y-You can't just leave us now..."
Lub dub... lub dub... lub dub...
"You know me-you know I won't be able to survive if you're gone... Hell, I won't even be able to forgive you if you left me, too..."
Lub dub... lub dub...
"W-We're gonna get married, right? You're gonna get better, and you're gonna get down on one knee. We're gonna get married, a-and Kai should have a sibling. They'll grow up knowing what love is, because you and I, we'll show them..."
Lub dub... lub dub...
"Damn it, Mark, please..."
Lub dub...
"...you promised."
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AU chapter up next 👀
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