S5 EP16
[CW: slight panic attack, violence]
A MISTAKE.
A mistake during the first surgery caused complications to a patient. The second surgery that had been a success-yet it, too, soon led to a third one.
Everyone in the OR could tell that Derek was extra stressed out than usual. Addison and Alex monitored the fetal monitor carefully as Derek carried on with the surgery. Norah got a slightly bad feeling which she pushed down to her stomach.
"The swelling's not going down," Derek informed.
"Could the ventriculostomy be plugged?" Norah asked.
"No," he stated before cursing aloud, "Damn it!"
All heads in the room turned to the neurosurgeon; furrowed brows raised on Norah's face as he sighed heavily. She shared a look with Addison and Alex, who both were in the lost, too.
"Dr Shepherd?"
There was a long pause in the OR, where only the foetal monitor could be heard. The beeping sounded in the room, raising unsettlement among the people inside.
"I have to take out the temporal lobe," he declared.
Alex furrowed his brows, glancing at the woman on the table before staring back at the neurosurgeon. "Won't that kill her?"
"Jen could um... lose some of her speech, memory, and vocal pattern," Norah stated with a frown on her face.
"The brain can rewire," Derek claimed, "I've done it before to stop seizures."
"Have you done it before for this?"
The fetal monitor was beeping quicker by the second, making everyone nervous. "I'm doing it now," Derek announced.
"Baby's got decels," Alex informed.
"What are we doing here, Derek?" Addison questioned, but Derek did not reply to her immediately.
"Bayonet forceps."
Norah shifted from one leg to another as she racked her brain, trying to trust that Derek was doing the best thing at the moment-he was the Head of Neurosurgery, after all.
But no matter how much she tried to convince herself, the pit of uncertainty and anxiety kept building up inside of her.
"She's bleeding into the frontal lobe," Derek whispered to himself, "If I can stop the bleed, save the rest of the brain, she'll have a chance."
"Decels are getting longer," Alex informed as the monitor started beeping erratically.
Addison stood up from her spot. "Derek, I have to deliver the baby," she stated.
"No. Just..." Derek panted in disagreement, "She's lost too much blood. If you cut her now, she'll bleed out. I can save her."
"How?" Addison demanded.
"I have to cut out the frontal lobe."
"What?" Norah's blurted out next to him; Addison and Alex, too, had snapped their heads towards the lead surgeon, not quite believing what they had just heard. "She can't live without her frontal and temporal lobe, can she?"
"She can."
"No, Derek, she can't," Addison opposed, and Derek sent her a brief glare. "Listen to me-this baby isn't getting any oxygen," she voiced out, "Now, I know you want to save Jen. You feel like you have to, but not this way."
"I can do this," Derek insisted, not taking a word she had said. "I can save them both. She will live."
"Not as the person her husband and child need her to be," Addison reasoned, feeling anxious by the second, "She'll lose everything about her that makes her human!"
"A damaged frontal lobe will cause difficulty in speech and language, change in personality and behaviour, inability to control mood and emotions, even paralysis," Norah recited fluently, "And that's for damaged. If it's removed-"
"Dr Lawrence, if you are gonna keep reciting a textbook next to my ear, I will have you removed from my OR," Derek raised his voice. Addison was staring at him in shock while the resident had shut herself up, frowning at his change of tone.
What the hell was going on?
"Baby's heart rate is bottoming out," Alex warned as he stared at the numbers on the monitor that started to drop drastically.
"Damn it, Derek! This has gone too far," Addison scoffed as she threw the towel on her hands aside, "Taking the frontal lobe out-even if she does lives, you are creating a monster. You don't get to play God here!
"Jen is gone, but this baby has a chance to live," she argued, "You need to let her go. Let it go. Please, let..." Seeing that Derek was ignoring her words completely, Addison came to a conclusion that she really wished she did not have to do. "I'm taking the baby out."
"Put down the scalpel, Addison!" Derek yelled, causing everyone in the room to go silent; the erratic beeping of the foetal monitor caused them all to worry. Addison held the scalpel in her hand, staring back at him in disbelief.
"You put down the scalpel," she argued back. She had the scalpel held in mid-air; his scalpel was already halfway through Jen's brain.
The blood at the sight of the head made Norah slightly queasy; the rapid beeping on the monitor was only causing her to feel unsettled. Alex seemed to notice the uncomfortable look on her face, his eyebrows furrowed, but she shook her head lightly back at him, implying that she was okay.
"Addison, put the scalpel down."
"You put the scalpel down!"
"Get off the scalpel, Addison!"
"You get off the-"
"Take it off!" Derek's sudden bellow caused most of the people in the OR to jump, Norah included. She could feel her heart rate going up, and she took in quiet, deep breaths next to him.
It's just paint. It's just paint. Just paint.
Addison turned to the resident,, whose colour on her face had faded lightly. "Norah-"
"Do not go anywhere," Derek ordered, and the brunette looked back at Addison, her eyes silently pleading back at the red-haired attending for help.
"Karev, go!" Addison turned to the other resident, who immediately took off from the OR. She turned back to the other attending with an uneasy voice, "Derek, don't do this."
"Do not touch my patient, Addison."
The tension in the OR was high; everyone had gone still and silent. The rage between the two attendings could eat them all alive.
After what felt like forever, Alex rushed back with Webber behind him. The chief had agreed with Addison to deliver the preemie through C-section, leaving Derek to question the both of them demandingly.
Norah had stepped aside when Arizona came in next with a team to take after the preemie boy, trying her best to drown out the flatline blaring in the background at the same time.
❦ ❦ ❦
NORAH STOOD BY THE nurses' station outside the ORs with her mind rather blank. When she felt a tap on her shoulder, she nearly got startled.
"Whoa-" Mark narrowed his eyes at her while she turned over to meet him. The look on her face was unmistakably telling him that something was on her mind. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice softened, "You looked spooked."
"I'm okay."
"Uh, no, you're not," he deadpanned before taking a step closer to her to engulf her in his arms. She rested her head on his chest, letting out a heavy exhale. "What's wrong?" he asked again, his voice soft.
"Besides the fact that I nearly got triggered in the OR?" she mumbled. He lowered his head to her, his brows furrowed in worry.
"Wait, what? That's..."
"Dr Lawrence," Webber called out before stopping at his steps when he saw his attending and resident. "Oh, um, am I interrupting..."
"No," Norah insisted before lifting her head from Mark's chest with a sigh escaping her mouth. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to him before muttering, "I'll see you later."
He nodded as she walked away with Webber. The question on his mind remained unanswered while he stared at her worriedly. Addison had just walked out from the OR hallway, staring at him, whose eyes were still trailing behind the resident.
"Is she okay?" Addison asked him.
"Is she?" Mark questioned back, the look of concern presented in front of his face. "I mean, you were in the OR with her, right? What happened in there?"
The pleading eyes of the brunette was still a picture floating vividly in her mind. "Derek went... haywire over the patient, almost chop off her entire brain," Addison told him with a strained voice, "There were shouts and yells... I-It was intense."
Mark snapped his head to her, his eyebrows knitted together. "Derek?"
❦ ❦ ❦
DEREK LEANED AGAINST the cold metal railing, his head drooped down and staring at the floor. His mind ran wild with everything that had happened that day-more specifically, Jen's husband calling him a murderer.
Mark approached him at the catwalk, running a hand through his hair with a mixed expression on his face. "What the hell did you do to Norah?" he demanded, stopping next to the neurosurgeon, who was in no mood to entertain him.
Derek did not reply to his question as his mind was preoccupied with too many things. Yet he returned him with a question-one that he had been meaning to ask for a while now. "Something going on between you two?"
Mark paused for a moment, but with the mix of concern and demand in his head, the words came blurting out, "We're seeing each other-actually-we're dating. For a while now." Upon hearing his words, Derek pushed himself off the railing with a hint of anger filling in his eyes.
"It's true, it's real, and I love her. We're happy," Mark resumed with his shoulders slightly tensed, "So, as her boyfriend, I'm asking you what did you-"
And then, a fist crashed on his cheek.
Mark staggered backwards a little as he rubbed his cheek in pain. "Okay, that's... You know what? I did not deserve that," he spat before frowning at the other attending, "You have no right to tell me who I can date-"
Another punch connected his jaw.
Mark stood back up, holding his jaw as he groaned at the ache. The peace within his blue eyes soon filled with a pit of rage, glaring back at the pair that were drowning in resentment and anger.
He threw a hard punch at Derek. The neurosurgeon stumbled to the floor with a loud grunt while the plastic surgeon shook his hand, gasping at the soreness of it.
Mark shook his head and walked off, but before he could go any further, Derek had got up and tackled him to the floor. Derek flipped him over and started throwing multiple rounds of punches at his face. Mark only did the same as he turned Derek over and his fist collided with the other.
Derek pushed Mark off him, and the latter caught himself by the railing; their fistfight continued with the audience growing.
❦
NORAH WAS SITTING IN Webber's office, going through Derek's surgery in detail when Bailey had budged in and interrupted them. The Chief Resident was complaining about Webber's letter of recommendation of her wish to pursue a fellowship in Pediatrics surgery.
The younger resident sat there awkwardly while the argument went back and forth-until her gaze drifted to the scene through the office's window. Her face drained in colour, and to say that her heart sank would be an understatement.
"Dr Webber-"
Webber followed her horrified gaze, and his eyes widened twice their size. "What the..." he gasped in shock, "Lawrence-"
"No, no, Sir. What do you want Lawrence to do?" Bailey interjected with her hands on her hips, "Beat them both up?"
"I could," Norah scoffed and darted out of the office.
Owen and Timothy had tried to tear the two attendings off each other; the latter toppled backwards when he received an accidental blow from the neurosurgeon. Owen had just managed to pull Mark off Derek forcefully. Both of them were still groaning and panting.
Mark flipped his arm off the trauma surgeon as he fell to the ground, just as Norah crouched down to him. She cupped both sides of his face, carefully to not touch the bruises on his skin, but he still winced slightly upon contact.
The pit of fire in his eyes had cooled back down to the soft blue ocean, now staring back at her wearily.
"Mark, why..." Her face dropped upon catching the look of the other attending, who was glaring at her. "Oh..." her face paled in realisation, her hazel eyes meeting his blues, "You told him."
Norah had a hint of fury behind her stare when her eyes snapped to the neurosurgeon, but Meredith had dragged Derek away in another direction before another fight could break out.
The brunette turned back towards the other man, who got caught in their action. "Tim, are you...?"
"I'm okay. I'm great. Just a bleeding nose," Timothy scoffed unamusingly with a bloodied hand covering the lower part of his face, "That jerk hits like a fucking princess."
She gave him a concerning look, and Lexie tugged his sleeve. "Come on, you idiot," she scolded, and he staggered along with her, mumbling curses under his breath.
Norah looked back to face between her palms; the foolish smile on his face caused her to sigh. She placed a kiss on his lips before shaking her head. "Let's get you fixed up."
❦ ❦ ❦
"HE PUNCHED YOU?"
"Mm-hmm."
"I know he's going through something, but you told him, and he bloody punched you?"
"Right in the face."
Mark was sitting in an examination room, where Callie had placed a wrist guard around his hand before handing him an ice pack. "Well, his hand isn't broken," she informed, "But you should ice it. Lots and lots of ice."
Norah sighed, thanking her before picking up the sutures in the tray. "How's Tim?" she asked the Ortho resident.
"His nose is broken," Callie replied, causing the brunette's eyes to go wide.
"His what-"
"Relax. Grey's with him, and he's on painkillers," Callie informed before laughing to herself, "And he was cracking not-so-appropriate jokes to me, so I'd say he's doing well."
Norah raised a brow before picking up the sutures in the tray. "So, basically, he's high?"
"Yup. And he's fun when he's high," Callie chuckled before she left the room; she had a faint smile on her face when she looked at the attending and resident pair in the room.
The love radiating off them was something else.
Norah frowned while continued suturing the cut on Mark's forehead. He stared at the worried look on her face-how her brows knitted together, looking both focused and mad at the same time.
"He literally punched you?" she questioned again.
He chuckled softly. "You can keep asking, but you know my answer is still the same."
"I wanna punch him now," she huffed with a bothered look on her face, "I mean, I should, right? He had no-"
"Laurie, Laurie, stop," he shushed her, staring concernedly at the needle she was holding. "You're gonna freak out, and I really don't want you to freak out because the future of my face is in your hands."
She rolled her eyes and nodded. He stared at her dearly; their proximity in silence allowed him to notice the way she furrowed her brows and chewed her bottom lip when she was concentrating to perfect her sutures.
As she continued stitching up the cut on his forehead, the bubble of fault grew inside of her. Every stitch that she stuck through his skin stung her in the chest. She could feel his dazing stare at her, but she could not meet his eyes.
Finally, she exhaled heavily and shook her head. "I'm sorry," her voice came out slightly above a whisper.
"Don't be," he stated, his voice firm but gentle, "We are in this relationship together. And it was my choice to tell him at... an obviously wrong timing. Don't start blaming yourself, Laurie."
"These bruises are gonna need a while to heal, though," she pointed out. He smiled at her while she tied the sutures on his forehead.
"Well, these bruises? They're worth it," he smirked, and she quirked a brow at him. "Because you're worth the pain."
"That's crazy."
"No, you're crazy to think that you're not worth it," he said before lowering his voice, "You really thought that I'd get rid of you over these few scars?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "I have abandonment issues, Mark."
"I know, Laurie. And I'm not going anywhere," he assured with a soothing voice. Her gaze flickered to him, only to find that he was already staring back at her. "Because you're the one."
The sight of her smile, the small half-smile on her face that he loved just makes him fall. Despite the long days and nights they had spent together, he still felt like he was falling for her over and over again, every single day. The thought of her by his side made him feel loved; she made him feel wanted.
And to her, he was a blanket of warmth she could always tug herself under. The knowing that the blanket would remain in place when she woke up the next day was enough to flow her head with fondness and devotion.
"Laurie?"
"Hm?" There was a long silence, which she only noticed it a moment after. She lowered her eyes to him, furrowing her brows at the grin pulling his lips-him staring at her oh-so-dearly. "Mark?"
"I love you."
She was caught off guard without a doubt-the look on her face showed it all. He was silently praying that she would not freak out, but relief sowed on his beating heart when a smile took upon her face.
"I love you more."
He grinned, feeling an overwhelming surge of fluttery in his chest. "Impossible."
"You know, I would kiss right now if I weren't holding a needle to your forehead," she chuckled.
He snorted with his eyes fixed on her lips. "Trust me, I would've already had you pinned against the wall," he smirked back, "But guess what? Now I can freely kiss you anywhere I want."
She rolled her eyes playfully at him. The grin growing on his face made her feel much better, and she returned the smile, too.
Even though the needle through his skin still ached her a bit, his presence alone was enough to calm her.
She felt warm and loved. She felt true-it was real.