When Azriel came back to the bathing chamber, he didn't question Aurora's need to be hidden from him. He accepted her wish and knelt down behind her, undoing her braid. He took a brush and began running it through her hair, leaning down to leave gentle kisses to her shoulder each time. When her hair was smooth, Azriel nudged her to dip it beneath the water. She did as she was told and then relaxed as his fingers began massaging soap into it. Aurora dipped her hair again to rid it of the suds, and Azriel moved to the side of the tub, running a washcloth up her arm.
Silently, Azriel moved to the end of the tub and washed her feet and legs, and then her other arm. Aurora loved the touch, but didn't want him to move further. She took the cloth from his hand and scrubbed the rest of her body. Azriel took her hand and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it, meeting her eyes.
"Everyone is gathering for breakfast. Would you like me to leave you to dry off?" Aurora nodded and Azriel kissed her cheek before leaving the room. She waited for the door to close before she climbed from the tub and dried off with a towel. Wrapping the towel around herself, she left the bathing chamber. Azriel was sat on the edge of the bed, flipping a dagger in his hand. Aurora felt a small smile rise on her lips when she saw him focusing on trying to land the hilt of the dagger in his palm every time.
Aurora filed through the wardrobe, and settled on a gown. Maybe it was her subconscious wishing to look as nice as the females she knew were downstairs, or it was simply a good day to wear a gown. It was simple: A deep forest green fabric that shifted in the light, a tight bodice, and a flowing skirt to her ankles. It was held up by thin straps, similar to the dress she wore the night before. Aurora glanced at Azriel, who was still playing with the dagger, and she hid behind the door of the wardrobe to drop the towel. Aurora tugged on a pair of underclothes and then the dress. It laced up in the back, but it was a simple design that allowed her to tighten it on her own.
Aurora stepped out from behind the wardrobe and Azriel turned to look at her. His eyes trailed the dress and then up to her face. Azriel's lips quirked up as he stood and approached her.
"Wearing a dress today?" He asked, hands finding her waist and tugging her close to him. Aurora bent her head back to look up at him as she hummed. "You look beautiful." A blush ran up to her cheeks.
"Thank you," she whispered back. His right hand lifted to her jaw, the two fingers twisting into the damp strands of hair as he leaned down. Aurora gratefully accepted the kiss, rising onto her toes and cupping a hand to the back of his neck. She hummed as his tongue ran along her bottom lip and she opened for him. She felt a pang of disappointment when he pulled away.
"Come on, beautiful. There's breakfast downstairs and I'm sure you're hungry after your workout," he muttered, pecking her nose. Aurora clung to his bicep as she followed him out the door, the scent of him and simple touches easing the nerves. Those same jolts of anxiety she felt the night before rose again with each step down.
The clattering of cutlery against plates was heard, a low hum of tired voices. Aurora swallowed the anxiety that rushed through her as they reached the dining room. Tired eyes lifted but Aurora met the gaze of only one. Gwyn, as beautiful as ever with messy hair strung down over her shoulders, clad in the silk button down she had seen last night, and a pair of silk shorts. Her knee was hugged to her chest as she spread butter over a piece of toast. Aurora felt Azriel stiffen, he must not have known they'd stayed the night.
"Good morning," Feyre chirped as she poured a cup of juice for Nyx, who was stationed on her knee. Aurora sent her a gentle smile, which fell when her eyes landed on Rhysand. He had a hard stare at Azriel, then shifted to Gwyn, then Aurora. She saw some emotion in his eyes that she couldn't quite understand until he spoke within her mind.
"Be gentle with yourself today. I saw you training this morning. There should be nothing between them, but carry on as if Gwyneth is not here, enjoy your morning with your mate."
Aurora inclined her head slightly then led Azriel to the two empty chairs in between Cassian and Mor. Aurora sat beside the golden haired female and gave her a soft smile as she reached forward and began pulling foods onto her plate. The chatter rose again between everyone, yet Nesta had her head rested on Cassian's shoulder, blinking slowly. She must feel horrible today after all of her drinks. Aurora looked over at Emerie, who was practically in the same state with her chin rested on a fist. Aurora looked further to see Gwyn peeling apart pieces of toast as her eyes flicked to and from Azriel.
"Emerie, Gwyn, why don't you two stay longer with us? I'm sure Nesta would love more time with you," Feyre spoke up above the dulled conversation. Aurora's eyes flashed to her High Lady, who didn't seem to recognize any tension but wanted more positive days for her sister. Aurora could understand that, her selfish insecurities was not important compared to Nesta's mental health.
"Oh, Feyre, I'd love to but-."
"That would be wonderful!" Gwyn chirped, interrupted Emerie. Aurora sunk into her chair more and began pushing around the eggs and meats on her plate. She lifted her eyes to Azriel, who was in conversation with Cassian, but his body remained stiff and his eyes occasionally flicked to Gwyn. That choking sensation came over Aurora again. She wanted to voice her concern to Azriel, but would it seem as though she was accusing him of something? All she wanted was confirmation that the feelings she had were not ones of insanity.
An elbow nudged Aurora's arm and she turned her head to the side. Mor was leaned over to her ear.
"How about we go shopping today? We can bring Elain as well, I think you two need some time away from this house," she murmured. Aurora began to nod, but turned to look at Azriel. With the actions of Gwyn the night before, did she truly feel comfortable leaving him with the priestess? "He would never do anything against your relationship. Gwyn is a kind person, she'd regret anything before she did it. Don't worry," Mor whispered again, making Aurora turn back to her. How did she know the thoughts running through her mind?
"Okay, I think that would be fun," Aurora responded. Mor sent her a quick smile before turning back to her plate. Aurora didn't eat as much as she wanted, the tension was far too much and all she wished for was to leave this room. Her knee shook as she impatiently as she waited for someone to be finished eating. Everyone seemed to eat as slow as they possibly could. Finally, Azriel and Cassian both laid their forks down and pushed out their seats, Nesta grumbling under her breath when Cass shifted beneath her. He leaned down to whisper something in her ear, which she seemed to sit straighter at.
Azriel began to stand and Aurora did the same, making him glance between her and her plate.
"Are you finished already?" Aurora nodded quickly, pushing her seat back and moving to leave the room.
"Eat, Aurora. At least take some food with you."
She slowed and turned her eyes to Rhysand, who was looking at her with a raised brow. She sighed and turned to grab some toast, but saw that Azriel was already wrapping toast and various meats into a napkin. She smiled to herself, wider when his free hand looped around her waist and led her from the room. She felt Gwyn's stares, but paid them no mind until they were out of view.
"Are you feeling alright?" Azriel murmured, pressing his lips to her hair. Aurora sucked in a breath and looked up at him as they walked.
"I'm fine," she responded softly. Azriel pursed his lips but didn't say more until they reached her bedroom.
"Honestly, Aurora. Tell me what's on your mind," Azriel urged, closing the door behind them then setting the food on the nightstand and sitting on the edge of the bed. When she didn't respond, he reached out and took her wrist, tugging her to him. Aurora couldn't help the small smile that rose on her lips as he shifted his grip to her thighs and lifted her onto his lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck, fingertips grazing his wings, as she straddled him.
Azriel's eyes bored into hers, one hand on her lower back, the other pushing her now dry hair behind her ear. "Talk to me, Aurora."
Her chest deflated and a rush of crimson heated her cheeks. "I don't know," she responded. Azriel's chest rumbled with disapproval. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the skin of her shoulder, then her collarbone, her neck.
"What's going on in that pretty little mind of yours? You haven't been yourself." His voice spread across her skin, his shadows caressing her neck and arms. Aurora shivered, letting out a sigh of satisfaction at the sensations.
"I guess that I-," Aurora cut herself off with a hum when his tongue flicked over her jaw.
"Yes?"
"I guess that having Gwyn around has been messing with me," she finally said, well, breathed out. Azriel didn't stop his work with his mouth, just waited for her to continue. "I've felt wrong since seeing her, when seeing Elain. I don't see myself like I see them."
Azriel was kissing her chest again, the swell of her breasts, his shadows licking at her jaw, lips, and shoulders. Aurora let out a shuddering breath.
"Keep going," he spoke against her skin. Her breath caught when his teeth grazed her chest, her head falling back slightly.
"Elain is perfect, so is Gwyn. Both of them are so beautiful, I can see why you've been attracted to them, but I worry that all of my flaws make me nothing but dirt compared to them. I see myself just as that," Aurora continued and it seemed so much easier to speak her mind when his lips pulled the words from her.
Aurora didn't notice when his fingers pulled the straps of her dress off her shoulders, they were now hanging from her arms. His fingers now were on the laced back of her dress. "Keep talking, Aurora. I want to hear everything before I respond."
Aurora wetted her lips and opened her mouth to continue. "I saw myself in the mirror last night and I cried. I didn't want to see my scars, my body. I felt disgusting compared to their elegance. I went to your room to get your comfort, but Gwyn had left Nesta's room to do the same. She was in nothing but a silk shirt, looking more stunning than I ever would, so I told her where your room was and I came back here. I cried until I slept, and I couldn't think about anything other than how wretched I look, so I went to train," Aurora rambled now. Tears threatened her eyes again, the words catching in her throat. Azriel kissed her skin still, and she realized he was tracing her scar on her shoulder.
"Do you have more thoughts?" He asked, voice rough and broken. Her brows furrowed and she leaned back, a finger lifting his chin. Azriel opened his eyes to meet hers and they were lined with silver just as her own.
"I'm finished," she whispered. His throat bobbed before speaking and Aurora watched him carefully.
"I want to take my time and show you just how stunning you are. Every part of your body, mind, voice. Everything about you pulls me in, Aurora. Let me show you."
Aurora blinked away a tear that rolled down her cheek, Az's thumb rolling over the skin and wiping the drop away.
"Okay," Aurora whispered, and his lips quirked up.