November 28th, 2020
"Honestly I think we look better as a seven person group." Sunghoon said with glee. My stomach turned. I was drenched, freezing, and sick. That was seriously the last thing I wanted to hear.
"Dont say something like that Sunghoon." I heard Jay scold. I teared up. Now I really didnt want to go in and practice. Sunghoon was right. They'd be better off as seven not eight.
"Are you going in or spying?" Someone from behind me said. I spun around to face Yeonjun. I froze. He looked me up and down, examining the state I was in. "Perhaps you should change before going in there." Yeonjun smiled softly.
I glanced back at the studio my fellow members were in and then back at Yeonjun. I sighed, my bottom lip quivering. Yeonjun'd smile immediately dropped. "Did something happen?" He asked, stepping closer.
I shook my head and walked away quickly, going to look for a bathroom. "Jeongmi-" Yeonjun called out. I ignored him and quickly found a bathroom. I stepped inside, it was a single one.
I locked the door and threw my stuff on the floor. I began to sob and sink to the floor. I hated this stupid fucking company and I hated my group. I hated being stuck with people that hate me.
I dont want to relive this bullshit. I can't keep handling all of this. I hate myself for wanting to become an idol and I wish I NEVER auditioned. I'm not sure how long I was in there before someone was knocking on the door.
I didnt answer and they only knocked more. "Its me Yeonjun. Please open up Jeongmi." Hearing it was someone I wasnt familiar with, I wiping my tears and tried hiding my face with my soaked hair.
I slowly opened the door. I kept my eyes on the floor. There was more than one pair of feet Yeonjun obviously and I didn't know who the others were as I wasnt looking up at them.
"Why'd you cry? What happened?" Yeonjun asked, taking a small step forward. I took a step back. I turned around and grabbed my phone out of my bag. I opened it and began to type.
"For starters my staff 'forgot' me and left me to walk in the heavy rain causing me to me soaked and I kept getting lost on my way here. To make it better once I did arrive I heard one of my members say that the group would be better as seven." Then I showed Yeonjun.
He read carefully. I slowly looked up at him and he had a giant frown on his face. Yeonjun looked back at the two behind him. I slowly leaned and looked at who it was. Jay and Sunoo. They were already frowning.
Yeonjun took my phone and showed them what I said. I stood nervously, getting more uncomfortable from my drenched clothes that gripped on my skin. When the two were done reading it, Yeonjun handed me my phone back.
"I'm sure Sunghoon didnt mean it Jeongmi." Sunoo tried to reassure. I knew that was a lie. I scoffed and turned around. I shoved my phone back in my bag and zipped it up.
"Jeongmi please dont let him bother you. You should be on this team and deserve to be." Jay spoke next. I ignored his words and sat with my back facing them. Then I heard someone else walking up on us.
"What's taking so long?" Heeseung asked. "Shes soaking wet and she heard what Sunghoon said. Obviously, shes upset." Sunoo answered him quickly. My hair fell at the sides of my face, the whole world felt slow.
"Tell Sunghoon to apologize to her. You guys will never be a real team if you cant connect and work with each other. If one member goes then everything will change for the worse. Learn to care for others quick unless you wish to fail." Yeonjum scolded, then walked out.
I highly agree with him. They best listen to him. "Hes right. Let's get Sunghoon to apologize later. She'll get ill if she stays in those clothes any longer." Jay stated, walking towards me.
"Sunoo go tell everyone to practice while we take Jeongmi to get changed." Heeseung ordered. Sunoo listened without argument. Jay gently pulled me off the floor. "I'll get staff to drive us back ok?" He whispered to me.
I stood still, staring at the floor blankly. Heeseung grabbed my stuff and held into it. Jay pulled me out the bathroom and took me down to the garage, Heeseung following.
He had texted a staff to pick us up and by the time we got down to the car they were there. Jay helped me in the car and Heeseung sat up front. The car was dead silent the whole way back which wasnt that long of a drive anyway.
Once we arrived back to the dorms Jay pulled me along all the way to my door, Heeseung still following with my stuff in his hands. I opened the door and shoved it open, storming inside my room.
Jay stayed in the hall and Heeseung dropped my stuff my the door then he shut the door. I quickly changed into dry clothes then I zoomed to the bathroom and dried my hair with a blow-dryer.
I slipped on different shoes and paused for a moment when I heard Jay and Heeseung talking outside. "Do you really think Sunghoon is going to mean his apology? Theres no point in making him if he doesnt mean it." Heeseung spoke quietly.
"He better mean it. You heard what Yeonjun said and either way what Sunghoon said was messed up. We are better as eight not seven. If the company only wanted seven then it would've been like that from the start." Jay argued.
"Yes but theres no point in trying to get close to her. Its awkward being around her I mean shit she doesnt talk. It's not our fault we dont want to be around her." Heeseung responded. My heart sank.
You fake little piece of shit. I cant believe him! If I'm so awkward to be around then why do you stick around?! Stay out of my life then if you hate being around me so much.
"Heeseung seriously? Considering somethings I've been noticing, she has a reason she doesnt talk I mean think about it. Her sister showed up at the meeting, not her parents. Dabin was saying something about how her parents didnt like her, she shuts down the moment something goes wrong etc. You all are hating her for something she cant control. So what if she doesnt talk? That's her choice. I honestly think that sometimes you shouldnt talk Heeseung. You are so cruel to her for no reason. You and the others besides Sunoo. Shes done nothing but work hard. You wonder why she drinks so much yet you guys and the staff treat her like shit." Jay lectured.
Jay's words warmed my heart. Someone did notice. Someone took the time to notice. He cares. Heeseung had fallen silent. I finally grabbed my bag and stepped out of my dorm.
Jay immediately stood up straight. Heeseung too. I couldn't help but hug Jay. He seemed shocked but hugged me back. "You heard all that didnt you?" Jay asked. I nodded. He sighed.
I looked back at Heeseung, he looked like his heart dropped knowing I heard what he said. I gave him a small glare before letting go of Jay. I spun around and walked down the hall, Jay right behind me.
Heeseung trailed behind, hopefully reflecting on himself. We all got to the car where the staff was waiting. Then we were drove back to go practice which is what we did almost all day.
Time skip
It was now 9:45pm. Practice is finally finished. After practice Jay came up to me. "Think you can be ready by 10:25pm? Me and Sunoo still want to take you out for your birthday dinner." He asked, smiling.
I nodded and gulped down some water. He pat my head and then began to gather his stuff. I gathered my stuff as well and head out as soon as possible. I was first to get home. I changed into something nice and did up my makeup better than usual.
I curled my hair a little and for once felt satisfied with my look. I grabbed my phone out of my bag and checked the time. It was 10:20pm. I squealed out of excitement. Hopefully something that will go right today.
I grabbed my purse and put my wallet and phone inside. Then I walked out my dorm and knocked on the members door. Jake answered. He gave me a pitiful smile and let me in, closing the door behind me.
I sat at their table as nobody was there. I could hear the others in the living room talking about some game. Then Heeseung came down the hall and Jake went back into the living room.
I turned away and stared down at the table as Heeseung approached, his eyes on me. He sat down next to me. "Jeongmi l-" I put my hand up to silence him. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. Hes not going to ruin the rest of my day.
"Jeongmi please j-" I groaned and scooted away from him. Footsteps began to come from the hall and grow closer. "Ready Jeongmi?" Jay asked. Him and Sunoo were dressed nicely as well. I got up and walked over to them.
We all left without another word. They talked all the way to the car and to the restaurant. I listened to them and nodded or shook my head to any questions they asked.
Once we arrived I realized just how fancy the place was. I should have worn a dress. I looked nice but not THIS nice. Damnit Jay. Even Sunoo seemed suprised. We walked inside and were walked to a table next to a window.
I sat next to the window with Sunoo next to me and Jay infront of me. "Forgot to mention Jeongmi, Jungwon will join us he just has homework to finish first of course." Jay said sweetly.
I nodded and began to scan the menu. I nearly gasped aloud when I saw the prices. I looked up and Jay who was now also looking at the menu. I gently tapped him and pointed at the prices.
"What about it?" He asked with a smirk. I slowly looked back down at the menu, too scared of ordering now. "Jeongmi this is for your birthday. Dont worry about it ok?" Jay assured, sipping on water.
"Yeah Jeongmi, just relax. We need to somehow make up for all those other years yeah?" Sunoo laughed, nudging my arm. I smiled, taking a drink of the water already set for us.
Then the waiter came. He bowed and asked for our drinks. I stuck with water as did the others. Then he asked if we were ready to order. Jay said to give us a few minutes. With that the guy walked away.
I finally found something I'd like which was a regular steak. Sunoo and Jay were getting the same thing. It wasnt long before Jungwon arrived, he found his pretty quick and sat by Jay.
"Sorry for not asking when your birthday is Jeongmi." Jungwon apologized suddenly. I chuckled and gave him a small smile. Jungwon seemed to get flustered and started to scan the menu.
I grabbed my phone out and typed. "So do the others know it was my birthday and dont care or do they still not know?" Then I showed Jay. Jay frowned from the question so I put my phone down.
"They know and well you heard me and Heeseung talking earlier. You heard what Heeseung said. Therefore I guess that answers that." Jay responded hesitantly. I shrugged and took another sip of water.
Sunoo and Jungwon looked at Jay in confusion as they both obviously didnt know what Heeseung had said. Jay avoided their eyes of curiosity as well did I. Nobody pressed any questions regarding it though, thankfully.
I really hope this night goes well enough as for the next few days.