<3 You don't see me as a person do you? I'm just some tool, who's always turning up to stop you from hating yourself so much.
⚠️ TW!
Suicide attempt
(Please not read if you're uncomfortable)
"Baby..." jisung gently poked his boyfriend.
Minho quickly woke up and turned over to face jisung. He scanned his boyfriend up and down. "Hey- what's wrong? You okay?"
Jisung giggled softly at his worried boyfriend. "I'm okay love. I just wanted to tell you that there's breakfast." Jisung leaned in to kiss his boyfriend's forehead. "And I'm going to go home for a while. My mom needs help with something."
Minho sat up after jisung said that. "Let me go with you..." he knew Jisung didn't have the best relationship with his parents. Minho just wanted to make sure he'll be okay.
Jisung just shook his head. "I'll be okay Min."
Minho still looked unsure, but just nodded. Jisung turned around to leave.
"Wait, did you eat already?" Minho asked.
Jisung paused and looked back at Minho. "I'll eat over there. But make sure you eat, okay?"
Minho felt so uneasy. But he quickly shook it off and nodded. "I'll see you later. Love you Hannie."
"I love you too Minho."
......
Jisung unlocked the door welcoming himself in. The light was on to the kitchen, his mom was probably in there. But the blonde just walked past her and straight to his room.
Nothing ever changed in this house. The people in it, his room, and the uncomfortable feeling. Jisung continued to looked around his old room.
"Jisung?"
The blonde boy turned around to face the person.
Of course, it was his mother.
"I thought I saw you. What are you doing here?"
Jisung gently smiled at her. "Just wanted to stop by.... Is that okay?"
Mrs. Han looked at her son for a while before nodding. "Yeah.... Are you hungry? I can make something."
Her cooking wasn't always the best, but she tried. That's all the mattered to jisung. His mom actually tried to be his 'parent'.
"Sure."
Jisung watched as she left closing the door behind her. The house was quiet again.
⚠️⚠️
(This is where it starts)
Jisung walked out of his room and into the bathroom. He took out his medication from his pocket before taking off his jacket. Goosebumps were visible on his arms from how cold it was.
His body continued to move on its own, his mind blank. He opened the mirror cabinet and took out his old blades. His parents probably never found them.
The phone in his pocket can he heard vibrating continuously. It was probably a group chat or Felix sending him videos.
The plan was to overdose. He just needed a couple of pills to do the job, but jisung held the blade close to his wrist.
It was supposed to just a few but he kept getting curious. 'Deeper'
'Deeper' he told himself.
At some point jisungs vision was filled with little black dots. His body was swaying making it hard to stand straight. Tears were running down his cheeks.
Not only because of the pain.
But because jisung was starting to get scared.
Was he actually going to die?
He hadn't been so scared about death. Instead, he wanted it. But now.... all he wants is to reverse everything he just did.
Han held onto the sink tightly, his breathing was quick and short. Being lightheaded made it harder for jisung to open his bottle of pills.
His poured most of them into his hand, dropping some of them. The sound of them hitting the ground was ignored, no one should've hear it.
Instead of popping them all into his mouth, he did two at a time. Then three....then four.....five.
Jisung was almost done with the handful when he felt himself struggling to keep himself from throwing up.
"Jisung?"
The blonde couldn't hear the rattling of the door nob or the continuously knocking. Jisung slowly slide down the wall before he completely laid down. Blood was still flowing out from his wrist. Jisung felt his chest tighten slightly.
Han eyes finally stayed closed. His body was already cold.
"Yah! Jisung!! Open the door now."
Jun Han continued to slam his body into the door. The door was locked and jisung wasn't answering.
"Mom!! Call the ambulance!" Jun knew something was wrong.
"Jisung! Open please." Jun continued to sob as he kicked the door. But once the door opened, he quickly didn't hesitate to go inside.
Jisungs body was already pale. His chest was barely moving. Jun quickly noticed the pills before pulling jisung close to the toilet. His brothers body was already cold, but that didn't stop Jun.
He quickly stuck his fingers down jisung throat, causing the older to flinch and finally waking up.
"Stop..."
Jisung tried to pull his brothers hand away but jun continued until jisung finally threw up. Jun never thought he'd need to do this. Any other day he would've thought this was disgusting. But he could care less about the vomit on his fingers.
Jisung was breathing, he looked a little better.
" ...m... sorry."
"Shh... you're okay."Jun held his brother tightly as he tried to keep him from falling. "No sorries ji.."
Jisung groaned in pain as he tried to move. His whole body was still numb. He still hadn't noticed it was his brother who saved him.
The younger looked down at his brother who was started to go unconscious again. This caused him to gently shake jisung. "Hey..you need to stay awake. Help is coming."
Jisung opened his eyes again trying his best to listen to the orders.
It must've only been 5 or 10 minutes for help to arrive but it felt like hours for Jun. His brother was in pain and going in and out of consciousness.
Jun was beyond worried. He didn't want to let go of his brother, but he had to. Jisung needed the medical attention.
Yeah, jisung was still been alive while going to the hospital, but things can change. Jun didn't know what those pills can do, Or if he lost to much blood.
......
"Hey mom I'm going to take this call, I'll be back."
Minho placed the plate down and rubbed his hands on the apron.
"Okay!"
Minho smiled at the I.D that popped up. Jisung was calling. Minho laughed a little to himself for overthinking this morning.
He slid his finger across the screen answering the call from his boyfriend.
"Hey love. Missed me?" Minho smiled waiting for one of jisungs dumb remarks.
"Minho?"
"This isn't jisung, is it?" Minho could hear on the other side a small 'no'
"Minho hyung, this is Jun Han. Jisung's younger brother...."
"I think you should come to Seoul Hospital. He.....ji-jisung tried to overdose."
.....
Hello!!
I hope this chapter was written well, sorry for any grammatical errors. Thank you for reading ❤️🩹
Take care of yourselves!! Stay warm (if it's cold) or enjoy the weather wherever you are 💕
Sending love and hugs your way
~Nevaeh 🤍