Me: *reading*
Connor: Hey Ash, can you show me the smut you wrote?
Me: Oh, right. One sec. *pulls up smutty oneshot* Here you go, read it-
Connor: *blushing like crazy*
Haytham: Connor I need you for- *sees what he's reading* Oh. I'll talk to you when you're done then.
---••ღ••---
No one requested this, just wanted to write it-
Note: Shay needs some love I almost forgot about him, gender neutral, also this is modern
TW: Attempted suicide, SH, mentions of SH, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, blood
Imagine: You can't take it anymore so you attempt suicide, but Shay saves you from dying and helps you get back on your feet.
---••ღ••---
Your POV
Nobody loves you.
Nobody needs you to be here.
Why not just die?
All these thoughts went through your head as you hang a chain from a beam in your garage. You wrapped it around your neck with the other end of the chain in your hands, ready to pull it and stop breathing for good. But before you can pull the chain, you see someone you don't know racing towards you.
Timeskip, your POV
You wake up in a strange house and a bed that isn't yours. You see a man enter the room to give you some food. He looked to be about six feet tall, had dark hair pulled back in a small low ponytail, soft dark chocolate colored eyes, a scar near his right eye and he was wearing a gray sweatshirt with matching gray sweatpants.
"Are you alright?" he asks you, his voice coated with a thick Irish accent.
"W-why am I still alive..?" you ask, feeling disoriented.
"I saw you through your open garage door and stopped you from killing yourself, but not before you went unconscious. Blood loss, I presume?"
You inwardly wince. Damn it, he knew everything and he wasn't afraid to call you out on anything.
"Anyway, I'm Shay. You?" he asks with his right hand extended for a handshake.
You take his hand, shake it and say, "Y/N," After you retract your hand, you ask him, "How long was I out for?"
"2 weeks." Shay replies.
"What?"
"You were out for two weeks Y/N," he says. "You lost a lot of blood."
You nod in understanding. "What'd you do to staunch the bleeding?"
"A shit ton of bandages."
You look at your arms, which were tightly bandaged. You see small patches of blood through the sterile white of the bandages.
"T-thank you," you say. "For noticing the signs when everyone else couldn't or didn't give a fuck about what I was going through."
Shay gives you a small, sad smile and says, "I want to help you because...I know what it's like."
"Y-you do?" you ask. Shay sighs and rolls up his sweatshirt sleeve. You see deep scars on his arms, all healed.
"I-I'm sorry," you stutter. "I didn't know."
He pulls his sleeve back down and gives you another sad smile. "It's alright," he says. "I got help and now I'm going to help you."
Timeskip, Shay's POV
It had been two months since he had saved Y/N. They had been taking small steps to healing from their ordeal. In the early phases, it had been difficult to get Y/N to focus, to keep in touch with reality.
They tried to cut themself multiple times at first, but he was always there to stop them.
But they had gotten better. He still made sure to check on them often to make sure they were okay though.
They started to have the energy to get out of bed themselves, say good morning to him, maybe eat some food.
He was so glad he could help Y/N. Especially when a lot of the suicidal people he helped relapsed into their old suicidal habits and committed suicide.
He hoped that wouldn't happen to Y/N, but old habits-especially suicidal ones-were extremely difficult to break and he knew from experience. They filled the void in his house and his heart. He liked being their friend, but maybe he wanted to be more to them than that.
Your POV
You sit in bed, staring at the scars on your arms. You saw the fresh deep gashes and blood of the wounds when you first started cutting embedded in your mind. You walk over to the dresser and select a black T-shirt with an F/C sweatshirt and F/C sweatpants.
Once you get changed, you walk to the kitchen and see Shay cooking something at the stove. "Morning Shay," you say as you grab a mug for your morning coffee.
"Morning love." he replies, but then goes a light shade of red as he realizes what unbiddenly came out of his mouth.
Love? you think as you feel your face slightly heat up.
Shay still looks a bit flustered as he cooks, averting your gaze. You make your coffee and wait for him to finish breakfast as you sip your coffee and lean on the counter.
Timeskip, your POV
You and Shay sit down at the table for two in the kitchen that was laden with as much food as it could hold with space for plates, utensils and cups.
You see a plate of thick bacon, six heated cinnamon rolls and a pan of scrambled eggs with maple syrup and ketchup for drizzling. Shay heaps some eggs onto his plate and drizzles some maple syrup onto them (I've tried this, it's not bad but it will definitely get you some weird looks), as well as some bacon and a cinnamon bun.
You think the maple syrup and egg combination is odd, but you push the thought out of your mind as you grab a small amount of eggs and bacon with a cinnamon bun.
You don't eat much before you start to lose your appetite and pick at your food. "Y/N?" Shay asks with concern in his voice. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just...no appetite." you reply wistfully as you continue picking at your food.
"Oh."
Shay gives you another look of concern and worry as he asks, "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah." you reply, feeling faint.
"You don't look okay..."
Then you black out.
Shay's POV
He catches Y/N before their unconscious body hits the floor. He wonders if the food he made was too rich for them to eat, or if they were hiding something from him
Either way, he carries their unconscious body to his room and puts them on the bed.
"Come on Y/N, wake up..." he mutters.
They wake up after a few minutes, disoriented.
He wants to hold Y/N now that they were regaining consciousness, stroke their H/L H/C hair and face, kiss them, ask what was wrong and comfort them all at the same time. But he hides those feelings behind a mask of platonic concern.
"What aren't you telling me, Y/N? You can trust me..." he tells them with a calming tone.
"I-I can't eat much...especially rich foods..." they reply, their voice trembling and hesitant.
"Did you used to...starve yourself..?"
They silently nod, tears streaming down their face as they broke down in front of him.
So he sits on the bed next to Y/N and hugs them tightly. They cling to him, sobbing into his shirt.
He runs one of his hands through their soft H/L H/C hair and making soothing circles on their back with his other hand. "It's okay," he says. "Let it all out Y/N, I'm here."
They hug him tightly, their hands clawing into his back.
They stop crying after a while and look up at him, their E/C eyes glassy and brimming with tears. He gives them a small smile.
"Want to watch TV with me here?" he asks them.
Y/N nods and gives him a small smile.
Timeskip, Shay's POV
Y/N had fallen asleep on his chest. He and Y/N had found a comfortable spot on the bed and started watching something on the TV in his room.
And now here he and Y/N were cuddling on his bed.
He felt...a spark between him and Y/N and he didn't know how to say it, to word it, but it felt like...love.
He had known them for only two months and he felt actual love for them.
He smiles at the sleeping form of Y/N against his chest and gently brushes their soft H/L H/C hair out of their face and gives them a small, tender kiss on the forehead before sleep claimed him for the night.
Timeskip, your POV
You open your eyes.
And see you were cuddled into Shay's chest. You blush a bit, sure, you've known him for two months, but you had the feeling you wanted to be more than friends with him. And to you, it looked near damn impossible Shay felt the same way about you.
You push the thought out of your head.
You try to move, but Shay already had his arm around your waist and was tightening his grip. You feel your face heat up and you try to escape his grip, but he simply tightens his grip around your waist again and gruffly says, "Stay here, Y/N."
Damn it, you wanted to stay. But it was the morning, time for your coffee, and coffee was more important right now.
"Shay, wake up." you say as you're trapped in his arms. He wakes up and faces you with a bit of a groggy half smile on his face.
"Morning, love." he says to you in the same groggy voice as he did when telling you to stay with him. Your face heats up a bit.
"Shay, can I please get my coffee now?" you ask him impatiently.
"No."
And with that, Shay cuddles his face into your neck, his head resting on your shoulder. So you just lie there, knowing he won't let you go for a while.
Shay's POV
He was in love with Y/N.
He knew it in his gut, his mind, his very soul.
He was currently resting his head in the crook of their neck, where it met the shoulder, while tightly holding their waist.
"Shay," Y/N says again. "Let me get my coffee."
"...Fine." he replies, grudgingly releasing them from his arms. "Do you want a coffee too?" they ask him as they get out of bed. "Sure." he replies as he sits up in the bed.
Your POV
You quickly walk to the kitchen for your coffee. Once you get there, you try to focus on getting the coffee machine ready, but you see a knife in the corner of your eye. It was in a knife block and you could see some of the gleaming blade, like it was calling to you.
You abandon coffee entirely and walk over to the knife block.
Pick up the knife and cut yourself...
Shay wouldn't care anyway...
You try to put a stop to the suicidal thoughts swirling in your head, but can't stop it ad by the time you realize you were in reality, you already had the knife in hand and were preparing to make the first cut.
Shay walks into the kitchen and sees what you're doing. He rushes to you and grabs the knife before you can make the second cut.
You break down crying in front of him, thinking he would be frustrated or disappointed that you relapsed back into your old habits. Instead, Shay gently sets the bloody knife on the counter and hugs you.
"I-I'm sorry..." you say between sobs.
"For what, Y/N?" he asks.
"For relapsing into my old habits..."
"It's okay. Habits are difficult to break, especially habits on this nature."
You realize something as he continues hugging you.
You're in love with Shay.
You should had this revelation before, seeing as you have thought of him romantically a little bit, but you were just realizing this now. He stops hugging you and says, "I'll make breakfast for us, but in the meantime, please don't hurt yourself."
Timeskip, Shay's POV
He and Y/N were sitting on the couch in the living room, silence reigning in the room.
He wanted to confess his love to them so badly, but at the same time he was afraid of being rejected.
After a few minutes, he says, "Y/N?"
"Hm?" they reply while scrolling through TikTok.
"...I-I'm in love with you..." he says, feeling his face heat up.
"I love you too, Shay." they reply.
"C-can I...kiss you..?"
They respond by putting their lips on his.
---••ღ••---
Me: *having a mental breakdown because the stress is too much to handle*
Jacob: Hey Ash we're going to- Oh. What happened?
Me: Stress.
Jacob: *gently smiles* Here, let me give you a hug.
Me: Okay...