Fire engulfed the entire camp. My heart pounded in my chest, terrified. Had I really woken up or was I still in the nightmare?
I gripped my sword tightly. Something wasn't right.
"Teren! Iliyana!" I shouted out. I didn't care who I found, I just wanted to see someone. KuRath must have attacked at night. Right? My dream last night was just a nightmare. It couldn't have been related. It must surely be a coincidence. I stopped in the midst of the ashy fog.
If I hadn't paused to catch where I was, I wouldn't have heard the whispering of my name through the flames. My eyes scanned the fire until they spotted a gray silhouette approaching.
Illyana walked out coughing. Ash covered her body, her shirt was soaked with blood and recent tears soaked her cheeks. She looked up at me.
"What happened?" I asked her.
She didn't respond. I saw her hands form fists and a dark gaze spread across her eyes.
"How dare you act as if you did nothing." She pulled out her sword.
"Illyana, what are you talking about?" I took a step back.
"You killed Bazel! You killed everyone!"
"Illyana." Teren grabbed her shoulders.
"Let me go! She deserves to die, too!" She struggled against Teren.
I heard someone behind me. They grabbed me and threw me forward. I fell to the ground.
"Hey!" I yelled at them. It was Nathanael and Gretchan. They held my arms. "What are you doing?" I asked. Since when were they here? Especially here at the assassin's camp. I looked to Teren for help but he avoided my plee.
"Take her away." It was Prince Andrion's voice. He walked in front of me. I lifted my head towards him. "I'm sorry, Emilea. Until we can decide if you are guilty of the crimes they accuse you of, you will be detained."
Crimes? Like what Illyana said? I didn't kill Bazel. I never would. But I didn't say this. I suddenly found silence in my voice.
"She killed them." Illyana collapsed to the ground. Teren crouched down with her.
My eyes wandered. There were burned bodies everywhere. How had I not noticed it before?
I suddenly found myself nauseous. Deep down, in the nightmare that haunted me last night, there was a pang of swallowing guilt that led me to believe everything they said about me was true. Was it true? Had I done this? Why? The vision of KuRath flashed through my memory.
"It was KuRath! I saw KuRath. It must have been him." Nathanael and Gretchan began pulling me away. I desperately looked around. Why was no one listening? "Why would I do this? I'm not a killer!"
~
It came again in the night. The nightmare. This time it was different. The burning bodies had faces. I saw them all. I saw each person I cut down. I swung and swung until there before me was Bazel. Just as Illyana had accused.
"Emilea, wake up, this isn't you. Please stop. You are killing our family!" Bazel yelled at me. Unlike the others, his body was not on fire. I watched him grab my arm. His touch was cold as ice. I recoiled and screamed. It burned. Somehow it burned my entire body. He stepped closer.
"Get back!"
He didn't listen.
"I will hurt you!"
He reached out for me once more. My arms swung without warning. His body collapsed to the hell below. As did I.
I woke up crying. The cold shackles bound my wrists together as I lay on the ground, alone in a tent they put me in. My eyes drifted over to a long object that lay near the entrance. My sword. I observed it closely. It appeared different in the night. Why? I stared at it until my blurry eyes finally made sense of the blood that in fact stained it. The realization of the truth in everything I was accused of hit me like a wave against a rock. My lungs suddenly felt ten times smaller. I laid there terrified. Just as the people I killed.
This wasn't Debynn's plan for me. I wasn't supposed to become a murder. What was the point of giving the sword to me if I too was going to succumb to its power? I was no better than the evil King, if that's what he even was. Numb to my own thoughts I laid there.
"Thought you might be hungry."
I did not move. I knew the voice. I heard Carther put something down besides me.
"You act like that and people might think you are guilty." I flinched at the word. My heart hurt almost as much as when Debynn passed. Everything I worked for was gone. I couldn't fight anymore. How could I? I pulled my knees tighter to my chest.
Please leave, I wanted to say. I could feel a burning spot on my head from where he stared. Eventually, I think he left. Though he could have still been there. I never checked.
The night came once again. Through heavy eyes, I managed to withstrain myself from falling prey to the screams of my mind.
"Emilea."
Light streaked through. I looked away in shock. When had it turned to morning?
"The Prince will see you now." Carther unlocked my chains. It took my strength and his to get me on my feet. Why did my body still feel so heavy? I knew the answer.
"In here." Carther lifted the entrance flap to a rather large tent. Upon entering I was greeted by Prince Adrion, his men, Teren, and Illyana. They made no effort to welcome me. They just watched me. For the first time ever, I felt alone.
"Sit down, Emilea." Prince Andrion gestured to a chair that sat in front of two others. The Prince and Teren walked to them and sat down. I did what he asked but I did not take my eyes off Teren's. He was my oldest friend. Was I to lose him?
"Send in Abernan."
Abernan? As in the Prince's master? Debynn's master? What did he need with him?
He walked in and bowed before the Prince and Teren.
"I am pleased that you allow me to speak before you, my Prince."
"Always, my friend."
"It is good to see the rebellion against your father growing closer-"
"Forgive me, but what exactly do you have to say?" Teren interrupted. Abernan stood and walked over to me.
"I have reasons to believe that Lavro is responsible for this 'accident'."
"King Lavro?" Teren shook his head. He didn't believe his words, but they piqued my interest. He turned to me.
"This might feel uncomfortable." I watched as he put his hands on my head. Without warning the nightmares I so desperately tried to repress came streaming in. The fire. The burning people. Bazel's cries. Again I watched as I slaughtered one after another.
"Please! Please make them stop!" I begged Abernan through a stream of tears.
"Just a little more." He coaxed. My body felt numb. I didn't want to see this anymore. Couldn't they punish me now? Make me pay for what I had done.
Suddenly I saw the King's face.
"I want you to stop all further communications with my son, the Prince." I heard his words of warning yet again. That's right. I had almost forgotten about his vision to me.
"Just as I had expected." The visions ceased and Abernan removed his hands. "Lavro has control over Emilea's mind." He turned back to Teren. "He made her attack your camp and kill your friends."
What? That couldn't be right. Could it?
"But when he came to me, he had no intention of hurting me."
"I want you to stop all further communications with my son, the Prince. As well as his master in the North." The King's words warned clearly in my mind.
"In fact, he told me to stay away from you." I said.
Abernan laughed.
"It seems he has fooled you well. Can't you see what he did? He made you kill most of his powerful enemies. Then he came to you and convinced you that he was your ally and that his enemy was your own. Teren's army is not what he is afraid of. Nor is it of his son's army. He is scared of you. If you are on his side he doesn't have anything to worry about. He is smart. But he knows I have the power to see through his little ploys. Fortunately, I came. Otherwise, you would be accused of murder. Unless you admit to killing these people on your own accord?" Everyone's eyes went back to me. How could people think this?
"Of course not."
"Then you must believe me when I say King Lavro controlled Emilea. He made her do these things, then tried to make it seem like we were the enemy. Let the weak-minded be warned. He will not rest until his enemies are all but defeated," Abernan explained.
The Prince walked over to me.
"It is good to hear this. It feels wrong to see you in chains. However, I am still concerned. Abernan. Is there a way to stop her from being controlled furthermore?"
"Possibly. But that would require time and very rare resources."
Prince Andrion nodded.
"Then I must keep you restrained for now. I'm sorry you had fallen prey to this evil. And until we find a way to protect you from the King, your chains will remain on to protect the rest of the people."
I nodded. It was a relief to hear that I was not truly the cause of all the deaths, however, they still were killed by hand. I was no better than the King. If it was the King. Something still didn't feel right. I wanted to believe Abernan. I didn't want to blame myself. But blaming the King also felt wrong.
Should I ignore what the King warned? If what Abernan said was true and the King is trying to make me side with him, wouldn't he have asked me to kill Prince Andrion or at least turn against him? Yet, he did neither. He just wanted to warn me. He wanted me as far away from them as possible. Doesn't sound like a King who was trying to use me. Though if the King is innocent, who controlled me to kill all those people?
My head throbbed. I didn't know what to think. Or who to believe.
"Please take Emilea back to her tent." Prince Andrion ordered.
Back to the shackles was more like it. But I don't blame him. Who knows when I could be controlled next?
"Allow me to escort Emilea back to her quarters while you discuss things." Abernan offered.
Prince Andrion nodded.
I tried to get a glimpse at Teren but he had somehow already disappeared.
Teren's people watched me. Mothers held their children tight to their chests and the men spit and cursed at me. I let them. I deserved it. I deserved all of it.
When we were finally behind the tent's cloth, Abernan stopped. He sighed.
"You've really made a mess of things. It's a shame you fell so easily to the enemy's power, and here I've heard so much about you being the fiercest warrior, beside the Prince and Vermilion that is."
I made no response. There was nothing to say.
I looked up at him. His hair was grey despite his rather young looks. And his eyes. I had never realized how dark they were.
"So what are you going to do, hmm?" He asked me.
He took off my chains. They dropped to the ground with a hard thud. My wrists remained indented in red.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked.
"Leave."
"What?"
"Leave." Abernan repeated. "Take your things and go. I am giving you the opportunity to solve this problem on your own. You are more than welcome to stay here. If so, your chains will remain on and you will be treated like a prisoner. Though I am sure that is not what you want. Stay here and Andrion will make sure you never leave this tent. Trust me. I am giving you your only chance at freedom."
I nodded.
"However, don't dare come back. Not until Andrion's father is overthrown and the throne has its rightful King. There is too much at stake." He eyed me. "I will have a horse at the north end waiting for you after sunrise. Until then, stay here."
Again I nodded.
"Good. Goodbye, Emilea." His words weren't soft but neither were they rough. He seemed genuinely concerned about Andrion. I wonder why Debynn never talked about him? My thoughts wandered back to Debynn. What would he say to me now? I could only imagine how disappointed he would be. Though, I could hear him trying to say something uplifting to better the mood, despite how he felt about the situation. That's how he was. It didn't matter how he felt. As a teacher, he knew my mistakes were my own to deal with and I gave myself enough hell for them.
I wish he was here. I wish he could tell me what to do. Who was I to listen to? Especially since I couldn't even trust myself.
~
The sun might have set but the moon's white glow still cast my shadow upon the camp. Finally adjusting to the dusk my eyes scanned around for stragglers who walked around.
I spotted a saddled brown horse. It stood alone as Abernan said, near the north of camp. Thankfully it seemed that everyone was gathered in the main tent for supper, so sneaking away was easy.
I mounted the horse quickly.
Cough.
I froze.
"What are you doing?"
I sighed. Of course. It had to be him who spotted me.
"What does it look like, Teren?" I turned the horse around.
"Trying to run?" His face was straight and a hand was at the hilt of his sword. As I feared, he didn't trust me.
"I can't stay here. I am not going to be held like a prisoner. And I am not going to just sit and wait for me to be controlled again. So I am going to go as far away as possible. Until Prince Andrion has taken the throne at least. Maybe then the King will not be able to control me."
"That is if the King is the one controlling you."
"Who else would it be?"
Teren did not respond.
Distant laughs came from a few yards back near a quarters tent.
"I must go." I looked to Teren who did not argue. I wanted to apologize. He had to know how much I hated myself for the things I had done. Somehow though, saying sorry didn't seem good enough.
"It is ok." He gently smiled. "I know you will find a way to fix this."
My eyes began to burn. I nodded then set the horse North before Teren could see my wet cheeks.