There are many fics about al with a eating disorder, but what if he goes on a healthy diet for benign reasons and the other's read too much into it? Would there be chaos or nah? just a thought. Don't take seriously.
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It was a glorious morning at the UN building in New York(very original, I know). By glorious I mean shit. It was the G8 meeting and so naturally everyone and their grandmother took this as an excuse enough to lose their gosh darn mind(we don't swear in this damn fic).
One nation that was mysteriously missing from the international fight club was Alfred F. Jones, the USA. Usually he would be ever present in the thick of the fray. But as Arthur routinely kicked Francis where the sun didn't shine, he couldn't help but notice that his former charge and little brother, whether Alfred wanted to think so or not, was missing.
"Wait a tick-" he said out loud breaking up the chaos.
"Quoi?" France asked confused, opening his eyes slightly that had been shut with pain from being kicked.
"I bloody well know that git is not skipping a meeting!" Arthur spat.
"Vas ist the problem." Germany raised his head from where his face was planted in his hands in despair, "Isn't he usually late?"
"Oui. Mon amie, allemande, est correct." Francis stated simply, but then grew a mischievous smirk seeing an opportunity to antagonize the brit, "Is angleterre worried about his petie amerique? Zhe apron strings still there, non?"
Arthur punched Francis in the gut who pulled his hair and well you know the chaos devolved from there again.
Germany returned to his "stare with despair" at the table, all the while Romano yelled threats at him and Veneziano talked nonsense about carbs und stuff like that.
Eventually Alfred came skidding into the room, smoke practically coming off of his simple black business shoes. He raised a hand for them to wait until he caught his breath then gave his trademark "hero" smile and thumbs up, "THE HERO IS HERE!"
Everyone sighed.
"Where the bloody hell were you! You are holding up the whole conference!" England was miffed because A) he had taught the boy to be more punctual and B) he wanted to get home asap to write his Doctor Who fanfiction.
Alfred waved his left hand dismissively before coming to sit next to Matt, "I was just making breakfast. It takes longer than just buying it."
Matt raised a brow, "You made breakfast?"
"Hell yeah bro!" Al said, shoving a partially eaten toast, avocado, and egg sandwich in his face all the while looking proud of his culinary "feat". I mean, I would say it is a feat considering who raised him.
Matt moved back but squinted at the sandwich, "Where's the bacon?"
Francis overhearing them came over to inspect the sandwich then let out a gasp, "Amerique! You are not a lost cause after all! Look at how well toasted the bread is!" (it's not much, but you have to consider England can't even make cereal without it spontaneously combusting)
He then turned to Arthur, "See, I am a good influence on zhe boys! Unlike you, rosbif!"
"Why yo-
Germany interrupted them, "That is quite enough! Can we please get this meeting over with!"
They all simmered down but many thought the meeting was oddly quiet for some reason.
Alfred's turn came to present his resolution on a crisis. Oh boy. Everyone sighed ahead of time. Was this going to be another presentation like his speech on the "Twinkie Crisis of 2012"? They had never seen him be such an impassioned speaker before, yet his overdramatic performance almost brought a tear to the eyes of some of the more weak hearted nations.
He gave a small grin, "In the recent decades there has been an overcoming energy crisis whether that be for heating homes and keeping lights on or to agriculture. Here, I propose a solution to the issue of sustainable agriculture-" he stopped to pick something up from his bag.
Dread was palpable in the air. He always ate while speaking and no one could ever make a lick of sense of what he was saying.
He took a drink from a water bottle, "Sorry dudes, gotta keep hydrated. So, permaculture-"
Everyone looked around the room thinking that they had walked into a parallel universe but decided that even if they did it was nicer than the one they came from. The meeting for the first time in decades concluded in a timely and reasonable manner.
Alfred wrapped his arm around his twin and drug him out to go have dinner. "Hey matt there is a new restaurant in Brooklyn that I have been dying to try-"
An annoyed huff interrupted him and England stood, arms crossed with that annoyed look he always had, and France posed behind him, "Tus enfants were going to invite us, non?"
Matt and Al shared a look, they were hoping to have a quiet dinner and well their former caretakers weren't exactly that vibe.
Alfred sighed, "On one condition-"
"Oui, anything mon chou."
Matt continued for his twin, "That you don't get us kicked out and banned from this restaurant."
The two in question looked scandalized.
"Yeah dudes. I really want to get to try the food at this place." he pointed a finger at them, "No. Getting. The. Police. Called. They're not as nice here as in Ottawa."
Matt crossed his arms and nodded in agreement.
"We're not that big of tossers! Well, Francis is."
"Quoi?!" came the scandalized reply.
Matt and Alfred took the opportunity to slip out the door.
"WAIT MON CHOUX!'' The old men followed after the twins.
Al led them to a quaint little street for being in the middle of a large city, "Here we are guys!"
The FACE turned to "Carl's Dinner".
"Where are you guys going? This way!" He asked, confused. They looked up to see where he was pointing. He gave a proud grin, "I did some research and they have the best sweet potato tikka masala in the big apple!"
They were confused but decided to follow him in.
The waitress came and smiled, "Hello! Welcome to the Vegan Place! The best vegan restaurant according to yelp! What pieces would you like?"
Arthur looked confused, "Piec-"
Francis kicked him under the table. They started to argue but the twins gave them dirty looks and they settled down.
Alfred smiled, "I'll have the sweet potato tikka masala. Heard that was your specialty."
She nodded, "Yes it is quite popular, but many enjoy the cauliflower mac n' cheese."
A tick appeared in al's and Matt's foreheads.
The south is pissed.
Can't be any better than kraft.
Alfred waved his hand, "Oh, no. That would be too rich for me. Perhaps for my brother here. Can't get enough of the stuff."
The other three shared a look, Is he alright?
Matt tried to be polite, "umm this' ' he pointed at some weird named "piece" on the menu.
Francis and Arthur each ordered, and they waited in silence for their order.
Arthur scrunched his nose a bit while looking at the menu, "I did not know you went for vegan food."
Francis nodded, "Oui. You are full of surprises today amerique. Anything changed?" he gave a 'France' smirk.
Alfred looked disgusted, "No Francis."
"Fine. But why this?" He pointed to "pumpkin steak". To be honest, to Francis this was better than what he usually ate but he couldn't bring himself to call this food. Where was the fine cheeses, breads, and meats?
"Well, I am on a diet." al said simply.
Arthur snorted, "Good joke lad."
"No I am serious." he deadpanned.
It was quiet and tense till he laughed. The waiter came with their dinner and they ate with idle chatter, although the hair was up on the back of Francis and Arthur's necks.
The next day, Alfred came into the meeting. It was quiet today. The meeting went well, oddly well. No loud intros, no munching, no clash of clans. Lunch was called, and Alfred picked up his briefcase and made for the door while arguing with someone on the phone.
No one dared make a sound till China spoke out, "What is with this atmosphere today, Aru?"
"Have you noticed it, ami?" Francis asked.
"The git has been off since this conference began." Arthur added.
"I don't see why we should be worried. The meeting went well." Germany said, a bit cheerfully before getting up and walking out the door with Veneziano following after him. It is truly miraculous how headaches disappear when there isn't a small war going on in the same room.
"Germany has a point. I could get used to this." China said before leaving.
The others shared a similar sentiment about a mellowed USA before leaving for lunch. That only left the FCE.
"I bloody don't like this." Arthur tapped his fingers on the table, "Nothing good ever comes from when he is acting strange....well, stranger than normal."
Matthew was not too concerned. Being als twin and neighbor, he had seen plenty of fad diets come and go. "This is not that strange. He'll be off it by the end of today."
"Are you sure Lapin?"
"Oui."
"Well I bloody well don't think it will. Sure he has had a lot of fad diets but when has he ever come without at least something to eat."
When he went on a smoothie diet, he brought a smoothie. When he went on a juice cleanse, he brought juice. When he went on a seafood diet, he brought a crab boil. Yet today he brought nothing.
Francis and England decided to spy on Al.
They found him in the cafeteria. He was sitting at a table drinking a cup of coffee and typing away furiously at his computer. Strange. He must have caught the other's attention as well because it was oddly quiet and everyone stared between him and the buffett. The tension was palpable.
England sighed and went over to sit next to the boy, "Lad." He said, getting his attention.
"Yes iggy?" he said while typing and making notes.
"Is everything alright lad?"
"Yes." He said slowly glancing up at the forming crowd in front of him.
China came over, uncharacteristically, and set down a plate of his most popular dish, "Here meiguo! Try some Bao."
Alfred sighed at being interrupted while he was cursing out a senator, "No thank you China."
China looked shocked before he looked deathly pale, "Bad Omen!" before running away calling his boss.
Everyone looked shocked. Francis offered his lunch, but in an eerily similar situation to when Al chose England over France, he ignored France's food in favor of asking England if he had taken his medication and that was why he was being weird.
"Quoi! Why does nobody like me?!"
The other's all tried to get him to eat something. Alfred felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. They were being weird today. He got up and was about to push his way through the crowd when Canada showed up with a bag of Mickey D's, "Hey Al, I noticed you forgot your lunch." What a sweet brother.
Alfred patted his bro on the back, "Thanks Mattie, but I am not hungry." He then walked out the door answering another phone call. It devolved into the most foul language any of them had ever heard before in different languages. It was an all out verbal beat down.
He paused just as he was about to call the Senator of some state something truly awful in polish, noticing the other nations standing, catching flies in their mouths, "Sorry dudes. Would you excuse me?" He then dashed out the door cussing again.
"What the bloody hell..."
"For once, I agree mon amie..."
"He didn't even want carbonara!" south Italy cried and started panicking a little bit knowing how moody Al got without something to eat.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BROTHER, EH?!" Everyone nearly jumped out of their socks at a flabbergasted Canada.
Prussia nudged those around him, "I think that is the first time I've heard some bass in his voice..."
Chaos broke out, as per usual.
Eventually, Germany was able to calm everyone down and get them to have rational(not hitting each other over the head with various types of bread) discussion. It was decided to have an intervention.
Alfred bounced into the last day of the meeting. He was so stoked. Molossia and he had a whole week of bro time planned. He pushed open the doors only for his usual greeting to get choked in his throat. The nations were quietly waiting on his arrival and there was an array of different foods on the table. They all looked to him with a pitying look.
France got up and gently grabbed his arm. Alfred nearly jumped out of his socks. "Don't be afraid mon chou."
"Were bloody worried about you."
"Shi, can't have his econ-" China was elbowed in the gut by Japan.
"This is an intervention." Germany barked.
"What the hell guys?!" Alfred tried to jerk his arm out of france's grip but Canada gave him a crushing hug lifting him off of the floor, "Brother!"
Alfred, severely freaked out, started to panic. "What is the matter with you all! You're creeping me out dudes!"
"Set him down lad." Arthur told Canada softly. Canada coming to his senses did just that.
Francis spoke, "We have all taken note of how our words can affect such a sensitive boy as yourself."
"Don't take everything we say to heart. We're just old codgers with foul mouths, lad."
"We don't mean what we say petit."
Alfred still looked like a caged animal. Did I accidently travel dimensions again? Shit. This one is weirder than when everyone had spaghetti for hair. Or the one where Australia was actually upside down, or the one-I'm getting off track.
"Please forgive us Al for saying you we're fat!" Canada sobbed. He really is too sweet.
"What-"
"Si jazz bastard. Please eat. Idiota." Romano grumbled.
"Si, Si." Veneziano agreed while lifting a huge bowl of pasta towards him.
"Please don't starve yourself on our account, Mon cher."
Alfred blinked, "I am not starving my self guys." he deadpanned.
Germany cleared his throat and read from what was obviously a pre-written script(he wasn't good with emotions on the spot), "Dear Amerika, You willingly went to a vegan restaurant. You made your own healthy breakfast. You brought nothing to eat yesterday and were in a foul temperament, when offered food you refused. You. refused. McDonalds." he took off his glasses and set them down with a dramatic thud on the table.
Al chucked. That was what they were do worried about? "I am on a diet." he said trying not to laugh. They gave him blank stares, "Ya' know, intermittent fasting, low sugar, low sodium. I do admit that vegan restaurant sucked but I thought it would be healthy. Is that so strange?"
"Yes." they all said in unison.
"Why would you want to loose weight?"
"Oui!"
"Is it because of ME!?" Matthew bellowed. Alfred patted his twin's back, was he okay? Did he smoke too much zaza again? (yes he did)
"No. I don't really think about you guys." he said honestly and of course shot any pity right out the window and made them feel a bit ashamed and embarrassed.
"Then bloody what you git?"
He smiled and pulled up a picture of a national park, "Here is Fat-Man's misery. It is only about 30 inches wide! It leads to a huge room in mammoth cave! I am going there this weekend. I don't want to get stuck! Besides there is this really good restaurants in Cave city nearby and.." He excitedly began to ramble on about the geography, topography, history and cuisine of the region all the while chomping on the figs Turkey had brought.
They all sat down miffed and relieved that nothing was wrong.
"Well now what are we going to do with all this food?" China grumbled.
Alfred looked at his twin who had got the munchies and was eyeing the crepes, galettes, Svenska pannkaka, Kaiserschmarrn, blin, etc, "Go for it matt." In 5 minuets there were no pancake-like foods left.