Everest.
Ria's always been a lover of the dark, of all things that encompass darkness. I guess it makes sense that she fell in love with Luca Hernandez, the darkest of us all. I've always thought the night to be too quiet, too vast and unpredictable.
I sit on the balcony of our apartment and flick my gaze over the sky. The NYC skyline drowns out the stars so it's just blackness up there. I hate quiet but I try, in this moment, to enjoy it. Violet's always liked it so I remember the way we had sat on the balcony of that auditorium, her hands over my eyes.
Silence had relaxed me then. But I think that was just Violet's presence. I don't like silence unless it's with her there too.
The balcony doors slide open and Hudson walks out. I look out to the view and take the cigarette he offers to me, quiet around us for a minute.
We've been in the new apartment for a few weeks now. It's a lavish place to live, more than any of us are used to but we're definitely not complaining. Amelia and Micah had insisted. And behind it all, it was Luca's scheme. He'd made sure we got this apartment so we'd be okay, so Ria and Benji would be.
I want to kill him myself. I want him back. Fucker. Motherfucker.
"Looking murderous weirdly suits you." Hudson perches his elbows on the balcony. He tosses the lighter to me.
"I think you just naturally find me sexy." I try to loosen my shoulders.
Hudson's lips quirk, "You wish, babe."
A small smile plays at my lips. Hudson's jaw sharpens as he takes another drag, smoke slowly gliding over his shoulder. His back's to me so I can't make out his face but he's getting a little healthier. Once Ria insisted that he stay with us here in New York, she doesn't let him near any drugs.
He's getting better. Somebody else has helped a lot with that.
"Are you in love with Val?" I ask bluntly.
He chokes on his cigarette.
I light my own, smirking when he turns his head to glare at me. He's still coughing when he stares at me accusingly, "No. Are you fucking stupid?"
"You're such a little whore, Hud. Hopping from one best friend to the next." I quip and he looks seconds away from punching me. I grin, "Kidding. You'd only be a homie hopper if Ria loved you back. Sucks to suck."
"Fuck off." He shakes his head, fighting a smile when he looks back out to the view.
I tilt my head back to blow out the thick smoke, "You're lying to yourself if you think you don't care about her. You never looked at Ria like you look at Valencia."
"Get off my back." He snips, "Half of our conversations are made up of arguing. That ball of sunshine gets on my fucking nerves."
I roll my eyes, "Whatever. You and Luca are the same. He was clueless too."
"And you're such a genius?" He turns so he's facing me.
I smile, "I'm whipped as fuck, for a girl who is way too good for me. I must be some sort of genius."
Hudson's expression sobers slightly at that. Any mention of Violet does that, though he hasn't outright shown any disdain. It's confusing as fuck. He looks away and takes a last drag of his cig, crushing it underneath his boot.
"Are you in love with her?" He spins it back on me, those dark blue eyes meeting mine.
"Deathly." I blow out smoke. I don't give a fuck what his deal is. I speak my mind and that's the truest it can get, "You've known from the beginning."
For a moment, his lips quirk, "Never thought I'd see the fucking day. Honestly, I thought you'd drink and fuck your way into an early grave."
"Sweet of you. Thanks, friend." I smile bitterly.
"Has she told you?" Hudson's eyes meet mine again. There's something in his posture that puts me on guard so I stub my cigarette out against the chair, tossing it somewhere amongst the collection of cigs we've all caused around here.
"Told me what?"
His eyes narrow, like he's trying to figure out what I know and what I don't. The fuck? If he knows something about Violet that I don't, then I want to know.
"About her sca-"
The balcony doors slide open and we shut up as soon as Miguel steps out. His wavy hair's dishevelled, eyes tired when he looks up to see both of us out here.
Ever since Luca left, Miguel hasn't been the same.
He confides in absolutely nobody. Silently, quietly, he's fading away. We're losing him too.
"Hey." Me and Hudson say at the same time.
"Hi." He offers a small smile and sticks his hands in his basketball shorts, wearing nothing else.
"It's late." Hudson says, "You should be trying to get some sleep, man."
He runs a hand through his hair and his hazel eyes burn with anguish when he looks up to us, "I want to drink."
"What?" I furrow my eyebrows.
"I want alcohol or something. I don't care, I just want something." He looks to us, plead and tiredness in his eyes, "Nicotine works too, I guess."
"Works for what?" Hudson asks gently, sharing a concerned glance with me.
"Making it-" He looks restless, "I don't fucking know, making it hurt less? I just need something to make my head be quiet. You'll have something."
I shake my head, "We're not giving you alcohol, or nicotine. It's unhealthy, Miguel."
"But you get to do it?" He stares at me with accusation, "And he gets to drug himself, and Ria smokes fifty fucking cigs a day so why- why do you all get something to make it easier and I don't?"
"Because we didn't have anybody to stop us from making bad decisions." I tell him strongly, "This isn't the example you should be following. We're not role models, but we're your fucking brothers. So we protect you."
Luca was fiercely protective over Miguel. He never let him smoke, never let him befriend idiots that did smoke or fucked around with drugs. I gave Miguel a sip of alcohol when he was younger and Luca was moments away from decking me in the face. I learnt my lesson.
"Please." He drags a hand over his face and I can see the way his eyes start to well up with tears, "Come on, I can't do this everyday-"
I stand and pull him towards me, enclosing him in my arms. His body shakes as he fights off sobs and fuck, it breaks my heart. I've known Miguel since he was a little seven year old, cowering behind his older brother in the orphanage. To Miguel, Luca's the world. All he's ever known. His dad and his mom and his brother.
"You have us." Hudson steps closer, "We've got you. We'll get you through today, and every fucking day afterwards."
"It-" He fists my shirt, a broken whisper as he mutters into it, "It hurts."
"We know." I hold the back of his head, "We hurt together, Miguel. Until eventually, the hurt doesn't consume us as much." I pull his face back and the sight of his big eyes lined with red, tear tracks falling down his cheeks breaks my fucking heart, "We've got you."
He nods and wipes at his eyes, lifting his shoulders to try and be strong. When he calms down a little, he tells us, "I can't sleep. I don't want to."
"I'm going out to walk Lola." I tell him, "You can come with me."
He nods then, "Thanks. I'm gonna change."
He looks at Hudson too, sending him a joyless smile before he walks back out of the balcony doors. I release a breath and Hudson leans back on the balcony. Fuck, I always feel clueless. Like I'm not doing it right but I hope that was okay-
"You doubt yourself way too fucking much." Hudson snaps me out of my thoughts, walking towards the balcony doors without looking back at me, "You're admirable, Ev. A lot of the time I think you're the best of us all."
He walks out with another word, leaving me stunned. I'm the fuckup. The useless one, that never really lost anybody he knew but wastes his days away anyways. But to have any sort of admiration from one of my brothers, feels fucking good.
I walk back inside the apartment and through the large main lounge room. Grabbing my coat off the rack, I pull on my sneakers and walk towards the bedrooms.
Val's room is opposite Ria's, Hudson's besides hers and mine's down the other hallway, where Benji and Miguel reside too. A big fucking apartment, enough to house all of us together.
Together. God, I love that we're all together now. My people and my home.
Walking Lola at night, our white Samoyed puppy has become routine since we moved in. I have a love-hate relationship with the pup but she doesn't piss me off too much when she's busy sniffing the floor.
I always check on Ria before I go so I knock gently and when I hear nothing, I push open the door. Ria's sat on her own balcony, legs crossed underneath her and headphones in her ear. Eyes distant. I know she doesn't want to be disturbed, especially recently so I leave her to her own company. Despite the fact that seeing her alone, without Luca, in the room they were supposed to share together, feels like a sledgehammer to my stomach.
Miguel's waiting for me with Lola in his arms when I walk back towards the door, hands in his pockets. I clip the collar around Lola's neck. She pants excitedly, licking a long strip along my cheek.
"She doesn't do that to anyone else, you know?" Miguel chuckles when I grimace.
"Great. I get all her saliva." I wipe it off and narrow my eyes at her. When she tilts her head and it kinda looks like she's grinning, she looks so fucking adorable. Ugh.
We take the elevator down and make it out of the apartment complex, into New York's biting cold. It's summer but once night falls, the temperature's cold regardless. The city's as busy as always but we keep walking until we reach a more residential area with quieter streets.
Miguel's the one to break the quiet, "Do you think Ria will be okay?"
Ria will never be the same, if— if he's gone. She fell in love when love was never on her agenda. Losing Luca, it's not heartbreak. It's ruin for her.
"She'll be okay." I say, "But she won't be the same."
He nods and it settles over us a moment. None of us ever saw this coming. But fuck, I don't know why I can't give up on Luca. I can't mourn him because there's a stupid, foolish feeling in me.
Miguel clears his throat and shifts the topic, "I was thinking of starting basketball."
"Yeah?" My lips lift.
"Yeah. Like for real." He shrugs as we turn a corner, "Luca had boxing, you have soccer. And I'm good at it." His lips turn up, "Girls also have a thing for me running down a court."
I snort, shaking my head.
"You know Hudson played hockey?" I tell him.
"The fuck? He did?" Miguel's eyebrows furrow, pulling back in shock.
"Apparently. Ria told me he played when he was a kid." I say, something I never knew either, "NYU has a hockey team. You think we could persuade him to getting back into it?"
He cocks an eyebrow, "Do you think he would?"
"I don't know but-" I shrug, "Could be good for him. Instead of snorting coke all the time. I really want him to get better and stay that way." I smile, "Plus, imagine how how that motherfucker would look playing hockey. Sight for sore eyes."
Miguel laughs now, his head tipping back, "For fucks sake, he'd be unmatched. He could already be a model."
"Yeah, maybe we shouldn't." I grimace, "I don't want anybody more attractive than me near Violet."
Miguel laughs harder, shaking his head and it provokes my own to come out. Lola looks up at us curiously at the sound of our laughter, as if trying to understand.
"You're sexy, man. Violet would never. Half of the girls in my class had a crush on you." He doesn't look too happy by the notion when he admits, grimacing, "The other half liked Luca."
I have to stifle a laugh. His brother. He narrows his eyes at me, "Shut up. I'll get better luck here. I just have to keep you three out of their eye-line."
Lola starts yipping but before I can do anything, she lifts a fucking leg. On my shoes. She's pissing on my shoes. I yank my leg away from the stream, groaning whilst Miguel laughs. I'm gonna make him hold the leash next time but even then, this little shit would probably go out of her way to piss on me.
"She's got a soft spot for you." Miguel quips.
I glare, "Shut up."
Violet.
The admission of Grayson and the daughter that's on the way has hung heavy over the manor ever since, but especially today. The Lars family are visiting and I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen but it's probably not going to be great.
They're almost as rich as us, another high society family. They own skiing resorts - their most popular ones being in Colorado, where the San Juan mountains are. But their resorts are known along Canada and the snowy mountains in France too.
Everyone always says it suits them. Cold. They're known to be cold-hearted people.
Ruth has been busying around all day, much more uptight than she usually is, which says a lot. And the few maids are at work. My favourite of them all, Lila, smiles at me as she's working on setting the tables.
I'm sat on a large windowsill with my pretty sphynx cat in my lap. She purrs against my hand, a smile playing at my lips. I probably look like an idiot to the maids, swinging my legs and letting them do all the work. If mother wasn't sat on the couch with a magazine, I'd have got up off my ass and helped.
But I'm sort of frozen. I haven't been in the same room with her, like this, for a long time-
"Stop staring." She says with calm but my pulse already picks up when I avert my gaze.
She wouldn't hit me with all the people coming in and out. There's always a possibility though so I keep my eyes on Leia, stroking her and trying to find calm.
Mother sets her magazine down, "Come over here."
A sudden pit of dread blooms in my stomach. No. Why?
I don't look at her but I'm sure she can feel the tension in the air between us. I'm not moving and I haven't looked up to her so she speaks up, "I won't repeat myself, Violet."
There's nobody in here right now. I don't know where Sage is, if he's close enough in case I need him. I don't know-
"Violet." She snaps and her voice echoes. It startles me into motion and I'm up, walking over to her even when my mind screams to go in the opposite direction.
I perch myself on the edge of the couch, with distance. When she picks up my hand, I freeze in place. I can hear the pounding of my heart in my ears. But she only regards me with disdain and drops my hand again, "Your hands still shake. Habits should fade as you grow older."
It's not a habit. It's a response.
"When are you leaving for New York?" She asks but her eyes are on me. They're never on me like that.
For as long as I can remember, she's never looked like she's listening every time I open my mouth to speak. Always busying herself with a wine glass, or flipping through a magazine. It's a small habit of hers but one that ripped through me as a little girl. I lost my voice. It was her, that silenced me.
"In a few days." I answer and pick up Leia who circles my feet.
Mother sits up so she's closer to me, "You'll behave, won't you?"
My heart's pounding and yet, I can't stop myself from saying back, "I'm not sure what your definition of that is."
Her face nears mine and the bravado I just had fades away, instantly. I shut my eyes when she seethes, "And what is that supposed to mean?"
I don't say anything. Don't dare to move. Why did I open my mouth?
Before I can do anything, she grabs my face between her fingers and yanks me towards her. I wince at the pressure and don't dare to look at her when she emphasises, "Will you behave?"
"Yes. I'll behave." My voice shakes.
She spins my head so I'm faced with her. I force myself to look at her, the anger in her eyes. The one I know so well from all the times she's been drunk. She can't bruise me, not when it's so close to meeting Everest again because he'll notice.
"Please don't hurt me." I beg.
She just stares at me. Ice in her eyes.
"Please." I barely whisper, "I'm sorry."
I don't have anything to be sorry for. But to placate her, I'll say anything. She just stares right at me and says, "Do not ruin yourself. Like your embarrassment of a brother. You're enough of a disappointment as you are, so keep your legs closed."
I don't even really hear what she says, biting back a wince as she tightens her grip on me. She knows she's causing me pain. She wants to, in order to get her message across.
"Do you understand me, Violet?"
"Yes." I say, "Yes, I understand, please-"
"What's going on?"
At the sound of Sage's voice, she completely breaks away from me and it's as if a mask slips over her. No longer sadistic, but calm and composed.
"Nothing of interest." She picks her magazine back up.
"Violet?" Sage demands. He ignores mother and it makes her tense besides me, "Is everything okay?"
"I said it was, did I not?" Mother interjects.
"Don't fucking speak to me unless I will it so." He snaps darkly and silence settles over the room, "Come here, Vy."
He knows. I can hear the tension in his voice. Ever since mom left a scar on my jaw, he's been so weary of me near her.
"I'm fine-"
"Here. Now." He orders so I force myself to stand.
I can't look at him. Can barely breathe from the roiling anxiety in my stomach. He's going to know. He always does.
When I get to him, I keep my gaze down and my hands clenched into fists. Any tell that I can attempt to hide, I do but Sage's tone softens, "Look at me."
"Sage, seriously," I try to put on an easy tone, "I'm fine-"
He tips my chin up and at the same time, his fingers find mine and unclenches my fists to reveal how badly my hands are shaking. My eyes are watering and he stares right into them.
"What did she do?" He says so only I can hear, anger beneath his words.
"Nothing. I'm just having a bad day, in general."
"Don't lie to me." He snaps and I quieten, "If she hurt you, she leaves this house. I don't care for her useless fucking presence any longer."
I stare back at him, speechless. He's never said that. His eyes find my cheeks and I'm guessing mother's fingerprints have reddened the area.
Anger becomes a blaze in his blue eyes and he reiterates, "If she touched you, Violet, I'll throw her out to fend for herself, like I should've done years ago."
"You can't do that." I murmur. His lips almost quirk in a smile.
"I own this manor. I own our businesses. I own everyone that works for me, and whatever's left of that pathetic woman, who lies in my fucking house, spending our money, is mine to deal with." He says with so much strength.
I know that if I say the word, he'll throw her out. Grayson will be fucking ecstatic, Azure wouldn't bat an eyelash and Sage would probably be better off without the stress of her on his shoulders.
My mother was supposed to nurture me. Instead, she tore me apart inside and ripped me a new scar every time she was angry. My mother is the source of so much of my pain.
But what does that make us? If we toss her out onto the streets, she'll have nowhere to go. Homeless. I never want to inflict that on a person, despite who they are.
After every bruise and every hateful word she would throw at me, I'd force myself to look in the mirror. I'd much rather kill myself, than ever mirror my mother.
"She didn't hurt me." I tell him, "I'm okay. And we won't treat her like she treated us. We're above people like her. If we ever have anything, it'll be that. We're above her."
"I won't always be able to protect you. But I can, from her. The world is far too ugly for somebody like you, bluebird." He sighs.
"I'll just make it prettier then." I joke and he smiles, thankfully.
He doesn't even look at mother when he says, "The Lars family are in the parlour." He offers me a small smile and holds out his arm. I link my arm with his, "Come on. Let's see how badly this is gonna go."
"They intimidate me." I slink against his side as we walk, nearing the parlour.
"I intimidate them." He responds, "You have nothing to fear. None of you do."
I swallow, feeling the hidden meaning behind that as we walk into the parlour together, spotting them.
The Lars family consists of three, Lilith Lars and her husband, Dante Lars. And their only daughter, Charlotte. Spiritless and cold, even at first glance. Their family is always dressed to the nines, in the finest feathers and silks one can afford. Appearances and honour have always meant everything to them.
Lilith and Dante stand besides each other, behind the single chair in which Charlotte sits.
Charlotte Lars. She doesn't look at us but even the half of her face I can see takes my breath away. She's surreally beautiful. Sharp. Seductive. Even if she hadn't been born to a rich family, that face was made to be a model. Plastered on billboards and covers of magazines since she was a child, the world knows of her.
She knows that she's nothing but worth a million dollars with her sharp heels, even sharper blue eyes and the classy air around her body.
"Lilith, Dante," Sage says, that easy yet intimidating businessman mask slipping on, "It's nice to see you again so soon."
"Your brother is absent." Lilith's blue eyes pierce us and even her voice makes me shiver, "First impressions don't seem to be of importance to him. If so, we'll take our leave."
They won't be disrespected like that, or in any regard. They're too prideful.
Sage responds, "My fault. I'd taken him golfing this morning. He's freshening up."
Lie. Grayson hates golf. He's avoiding. With every second that passes, I'm wondering whether he's stolen one of Sage's cars and fled. Likely option.
Lilith's eyes slide to me and I have to fight back my own urge to flee. She's dressed in a white gown, her dark brown hair in a delicate bun. Standing almost as tall as her husband in a pressed designer suit.
"You are Violet." She states.
"It's a pleasure to meet you." I say with as much confidence as I can muster.
Charlotte turns to look at us now. I suck in a breath, just at the sight of her. I'm not sure how a person can look so devastatingly beautiful but Charlotte Lars does, and she knows it.
Stark blue eyes, so light they look crystal with her mother's dark hair falling over her shoulders in gentle waves. Her bone structure makes me gawk. She looks like a doll.
She stares, right at me, "His sister?"
I nod.
She looks away easily, "Surprising. You don't seem to mirror the degrading thing that is your brother."
I think I even feel Sage tense. Those are the first words she's ever spoken to me. Um. I open my mouth to speak but shut it again. Charlotte's eyes hold amusement in them, as if she likes toying with me. I don't like that.
A cruel, dark princess. That's what she looks like in an all black dress, and her darkness only boldens when Grayson appears.
He saunters in, as careless as he always is and sits himself opposite her. A table sits between them but there's no mistaking the hate in their eyes when they meet.
God. I don't see how this is gonna go well, at all.
Because Grayson's being himself. Legs spread, slouched with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He doesn't give a single shit who they are, Lars or not.
He looks up to meet her eyes for just a moment before they slide to her parents. He smiles a dark, bitter smile and nods, introducing himself, "The degrading thing that fucked your daughter. It's my pleasure."
My eyes snap wide open. Jesus christ. This is his defence mechanism. Hiding emotions behind a cruel, taunting façade.
Dante and Lilith's expressions morph from shock, to disgust and as they're about to speak, Charlotte calmly interjects.
"I was the one at work." Charlotte's sharp eyes meet Grayson's, the air between them so charged with spite and tense silence, "So you weren't fucking anything."
That voice. She's known to have a voice that brings men to their knees. Slow, smooth, every word a sultry caress.
"Charlotte." Lilith gasps, eyes wide. Dante doesn't seem surprised, only exasperated.
"Credit shouldn't be taken where it isn't deserved, mother." Charlotte juts her shoulder lazily.
"Does it piss you off?" Grayson tilts his head in question, speaking slow and dark, "That you can't sit on such a high horse now that you've had my cock and you liked it?"
If I hadn't learned how to control my facial expressions, my jaw would unhinge. Their first conversation and...
Charlotte's cheeks don't burn, she doesn't cower nor show a single sign of embarrassment. That glare could pierce through Grayson's skull but he only stares back, just as deterred by her. Her mother's blushing more than Charlotte is.
"We will not tolerate that." Dante speaks up harshly for the first time, staring at Grayson, "You will apologise or we leave and take any ability for discussion with us."
"What ability to fucking discuss?" Grayson snaps, "It's my kid unless your little pure princess fucked anyone else since."
"Grayson." Sage half yells and silences everyone.
This is going great. So great. I think my nails are digging into Sage's suit. Lilith looks like she wants to kill us all, so does Dante and yet, there's a child on the way. This feels like a tragedy waiting to explode.
"I apologise on behalf of my brother's insensitivity." Sage is barely keeping calm, "We should keep our heads, for the better part of the whole. You seek the best for your daughter, and I seek the best for my brother."
Dante sighs, "I agree. We must discuss forthcoming events."
"Events?" Sage asks.
We're all standing so to ease some tension, I walk me and Sage towards Grayson. I try to smile politely at Mr and Mrs Lars, "Sit, please."
They eye me and Sage's body tenses. He stares at them, urging them to say a bad word but they spot his expression and don't. They sit on the small couch besides Charlotte.
My eyes flit down to her baby bump as we sit opposite them and reality hits me, making my throat dry. That's Grayson's kid, his daughter. Her mother the sharpest girl of all high society.
"We'll get down to it." Dante speaks for them, "We see no need for there to be legal intervention. Custody trials and court isn't something we, nor Charlotte want but do not take that lightly. We will, if we see fit."
Grayson looks like he wants to punch him in the throat, but he keeps quiet because of Sage. He's always hated people that speak like they're on top of the world and Dante Lars does exactly that.
We know why they don't want custody trials. It's likely they'll lose. Sage has far too many connections and he wouldn't hesitate to be immoral and corrupt if it meant protecting Grayson.
"Get to it, Dante. I don't appreciate tiptoeing." Sage says.
Dante looks at us and suddenly, I'm on edge. He speaks, "We want to propose a marriage between Charlotte and your brother."
Tension drops down on us like an anvil. They were supposed to get an arranged marriage but that was only a publicity suggestion, a long while ago. They hated each other too much.
Grayson scoffs, lazily draped, "Are you ignorant, or just stupid?"
"Don't speak to me like that, you disgrace." Dante loses composure for a moment.
"Your shitty solution is a white wedding and a pretty blushing bride. And I'm the disgraceful one?" Grayson looks up to meet his eyes.
"You aren't worthy of my daughter! This never should have happened and now we have to suffer the consequences because of you." Dante exclaims, leaning forwards like he too would like to punch Grayson.
"You heard your daughter." Grayson sits up now to throw back, "She did the work, did she not? Fucking takes two so get a grip. Your little girl gets horny too."
"You're disgusting." Lilith shakes her head, eyes wide in revolt.
"So I've been told." Grayson sits back again, twisting the gold ring on his finger, "I won't marry her. Not only because I don't want any association with your daughter beyond our child, but because she can fuck and love whoever she likes, for all I care. As long as it's not me."
Charlotte's looking outwards to the windows when she calmly says, "The day I see you as anything but repulsive will be my downfall."
Grayson's expression hardens.
"My only concern is my daughter. Not yours, Dante. Marriage isn't in the fucking question." Grayson says with such calm.
Charlotte doesn't look the slightest bit bothered. I doubt anything could get past that bulletproof shield she seem to has up. Deadly gorgeous, she has a hand on her bump, stroking it with reverence. A crack in her facade of ice.
"This is for the better, for both of you." Dante says, barely restraining his anger.
"Don't bullshit me. We all know why you want me to marry her." Gray argues and then looks right at Charlotte.
Like she can feel his gaze, she turns her head to meet his gaze back when he continues, "Charlotte Lars' life revolves around fame, more than most of us. A scandal would negatively effect her, more than it would me. Or my family. Isn't that right?"
"You're implying that you're of use to me. Don't mistake yourself." Charlotte speaks, "You're not of much use to anyone."
"Then why exactly are you here?" Grayson meets her eyes now and the whole room feels on fire when their eyes meet.
"Because you couldn't even fuck me right, without getting me pregnant." She answers, "Are you a failure in all aspects of life?"
"Yes." He smiles, "But I'm pretty fucking good at ruining people's lives too. I've already began to derail yours. How are you to model now? And what will your traditional family say to your pregnancy?"
This is bad for Charlotte and I'm only really realising it now. Her family has old fashioned values, a lot stricter than ours. The sort to outcast someone for something like a pregnancy outside of wedlock, no less at nineteen. They'd go as far as shunning the Lars family themselves, and that means they'd lose important connections to their businesses.
A marriage would help things. It'd probably save Charlotte from a scandal. She's been in the mainstream public eye since she was a child for modelling. Eyes are on her constantly, agencies fight for her, her name is everywhere.
"That's why you want this. To save your asses. To appease your family and make it seem like your daughter didn't get pregnant from a quick fuck." Grayson leans back again, "To look better to the public. Don't bullshit."
Grayson holds the power here and the Lars family knows it. I almost feel bad for them all.
"And what of your reputation?" Lilith tries.
"Does it look like I give a fuck about reputation, Lilith?" Grayson deadpans.
"We're only trying to reach an agreement here. One that would benefit us both. We've been wanting connections between our families for a while, despite the recent... events." Dante's whole body is tense as he speaks, "Marriage would help."
Sage speaks, "Don't let yourself believe Amory requires assistant, of any kind."
Dante's starting to look defeated as Sage continues, "This marriage isn't happening for business. That's final. If my brother and Charlotte desire to marry for their own reasons, then so be it. Marriage as a solution to this pregnancy won't happen, Dante."
The Lars' shoulders deflate, grief in their eyes. They need saving, from the shackles of their traditional family and any public scrutiny. Sage won't give it to them and realistically, he was their last hope. Never Grayson.
Grayson tilts his head to the side and silence settles over us all when he next speaks, a cruel edge to his eyes, "I'll agree."
Dante and Lilith's gaze snaps to him. But I know that look in his eyes. He's not done.
"If she asks me." Grayson says.
Charlotte's entire body stiffens, the embodiment of restrained rage. It's clear that she's only entertaining this proposal because of her parents. The idea of marrying Grayson seems to abhor her but more than that, the idea of needing him. She looks like she'd rather shoot herself.
Charlotte stands and I take in her height, much taller than me with slender legs. Grayson's eyes flit to her baby bump and I see the way his fingers tighten around the armrest of the couch.
She looks down to him, spite in her blue eyes, "You're certifiable."
"Just a few words. A single question, Miss Lars." Grayson's head tips back as he leans forwards where he sits, "Ask me to marry you. To save you."
She leans down so they're closer and snarls, "You're right. I'd prefer to fuck who I like instead. Someone who can fuck me good."
"Charlotte!" Lilith reprimands, desperation seeping through, "Just- think about-"
"I'd rather raise my daughter alone than marry the likes of him. I'd rather lose my career, face any repercussions than lie in his bed." She spins to seethe at her mother, "I entertained your requests. I'm done. I will never lower myself to ask anything of him so long as I have a shred of dignity."
With that and one last glance at Grayson, she starts to walk out, an air of regality surrounding her. Grayson's lips tip up as he watches her leave and calls, "I want the date for the next doctor's appointment."
I can see the way her shoulders stiffen with irritation. She stops in her tracks, for just a moment and then leaves without a word.
Sage looks like he needs a drink. Several drinks as he shakes a tense hand with Dante, "We want this to be easy. I'll do my best."
"As will I." Dante says with sunken shoulders, and a tiredness hiding behind his icy features.
When the Lars family leave, only then does mother make a brief appearance. I'm not sure if she was listening in but I'm not fucking surprised she didn't want to get involved. Leaving Sage to sort everything out, as usual. She only walks past us all and we let her. We don't need her here.
Train wreck. That, was a train wreck.
Grayson doesn't move for a while and leans over to the decanter of whiskey sat on the mahogany table. He pours himself a glass and tips it back in one go, unflinching. His eyes look distant, dead yet somewhat infuriated.
"What goes through your fucking head?" Sage stands right in front of him, anger exuding off him.
Grayson pours himself another glass, "I'm not going to pretend like I care about them, like I'm decent."
"So you talk about your cock and fucking their daughter?" Sage yanks him up so they're chest to chest, "She's the mother of your child. Do you not feel the need to respect her, in the slightest? What's so bad about a marriage, having some compassion?"
"Get off." Grayson shoves him away, "I don't give a fuck about her."
"So you're gonna ruin her life?" Sage glowers, "She'll be shunned from her stupid fucking family because of this. You don't have to fall to your knees for her and I doubt she cares about commitment."
"I'll do whatever the fuck I want, to people who aren't significant to me." Grayson glares right back, downing his second glass of whiskey, "I only care about my daughter."
He walks out, taking the whiskey with him as he goes. Sage stands for a minute and then drops onto the couch, hands dug into his ink black hair. I don't know if he wants me to leave, or stay so I remain in place.
I want to have faith in Grayson. But god, is it hard. How long will he drink for? Will he treat Charlotte with such disrespect for the rest of their lives? Because this isn't short-term. They're bound together for the rest of their lives now, inescapably. Will his daughter have to witness it?
Train. Wreck.
"He's going to be the fucking death of me." Sage growls, head bowed.
Yeah, he probably will be.
I sit besides Sage and I take his hands in mine. They're shaking, a lot like mine do when anxiety seizes my chest.
"You're leaving soon." He breathes out, not looking at me, "It's never your burden to bear but you're- fuck, you're the only calm this manor has ever had, Violet."
"I'll be a drive away." I say softly, my heart sinking. Leaving Amory manor was always a dream but leaving Sage, my brothers, it makes me want to stay. I won't. I promised myself a future. I deserve that and Sage wouldn't hold me back anyways.
He nods, "If you don't visit, I'll track you down myself. They're going to ruin me. Azure will only be worse now."
Azure. God, I can't even think about him. He's barely spoken to me in the last few weeks, shutting himself in the library, away from me and the rest of the world. He's so cold. I don't want to leave whilst we're like this but I feel like he's going to leave me no choice. The thought breaks my heart.
I'm only a drive away. I'll visit, every weekend if you want me to. I say it so much but there's nothing in his eyes when he looks at me except underlying betrayal. He's resenting me.
"He won't marry her." I say, "And she won't ask him to."
"I don't care about them marrying. It was a desperate proposal anyways." He responds, shaking his head, "I don't want a kid to be born and surrounded with hate."
"Grayson has the potential to be a good father." I look away, "Deep down."
"Probably. But that little girl's gonna have to see her dad hate her mom." Sage runs a hand through his hair, letting out this joyless laugh, "I remember when he was a kid. He was always fighting in school and fuck, he was good at it. Being a menace."
"I asked him why one time. And he shrugged and tugged at his stupid torn up tie with that glare." He says, eyes distant when a small smile plays at his lips, "People are mean and I can't stop them. But I can be strong. I'm gonna be strong and rich and protect my kids, like you protect me. Watch me."
"He said that?" I look at him, my lips turning upwards.
"He was younger then. Still a menace but not so bad yet. Only thirteen." Sage nods.
Sighing, I rest my head against his bicep. It's scary sometimes, to think of how much the future can hold. How unaware we are of what's to come in a year time, or five years time. The Amory's, we're complicated, chaotic kids to our core and it only leaves me wondering.
"I like to think that someday," I speak quietly, "There'll come a time where every one of us is happy. Whether it's because we leave this manor, or we fall in love, or we fall apart from each other. I just want us to be happy."
"You can be happy." Sage looks at me, "In New York. You'll fit in there."
I shake my head, "I'll never be truly happy until I know that you, and Gray and Azure have found your happiness too. In your own separate lives."
"You care for us too much."
"I know." I sigh, "A curse."
His lips turn up slightly, his arm coming around my shoulders. A few days and I'll be leaving this manor. Something tells me that I'm always going to be tethered to this place, nevertheless.
<3