12 ———— family issues
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IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF WEEKS SINCE THE INCIDENT, the one where sebastian broke his collarbone. he knew he was fucking stupid. getting high and deciding to go ive skating? sure he's gone skating while high before, but that was before he liked figure skating. sebastian wasn't a pro at figure skating, he only first learned because louis taught him how to play hockey.
sebastian played in a hockey junior league when he was around 10, because louis pushed him to do it — before his older brother was a diagnosed sociopath who found pleasure in murdering people of course. sebastian was good at hockey when he was younger, he loved it. he always asked his older brother when he would take him and go on the ice to play.
thats why he hates hockey now. expect he doesn't remember why he hates hockey, he doesn't remember playing it at all as a kid. he just knows he hates it, but not why. he picked up figure skating when he was 15 — so he was still very new at it — because sebastian knew he loved being on the ice, but just couldn't stand hockey.
sebastian wished he could say he remembered his childhood, but he only remembers little. the things he remembers are the things people tell him that happened — which of course a lot of them are either inaccurate or just lies. very few are true. sebastian hated having amnesia, and he knew he'd have to see his psychiatrist about it, and figure out everything that's wrong with him.
sebastian knows he's depressed, that was figured out long ago, when his brother was first put in prison. sebastian just refused to see any therapist or psychiatrist, because he didn't want to hear what was wrong with him anymore, or listen to his family talk about how he's just like his brother. he's not. sebastian hated hearing that.
their first visit was a group talk, everyone was there. sam. jess. maya. madeline. everyone. 13 year old sebastian was forced to sit there in silence while his family talked about everything that was wrong with him.
"he tends to stay in his room all the time, he never talks to us anymore." jess explained to the woman their chairs faced. "he doesn't really eat anymore either, he only leaves to use the bathroom but it's rare. he might get another bladder infection if he doesn't leave more often." sam added. sebastian stared at the floor, his face derived of emotion.
sebastian got a bladder infection because he held it for too long and got rushed to the hospital.
"we saw similar patterns with his older brother, louis." jess continued, a worried looking expression on her face. sebastian felt his stomach turn at her sentence, the dirty blonde's eyes hardening. "his brother was diagnosed with severe depression around his age too." jess added, glancing over at her son quickly. sebastian refused to look up at the group, he didn't want to talk.
"i'm afraid he's going to need medication to get better."
sebastian hated being on medication. they made him feel: off. he didn't feel like himself on antidepressants, and made him feel disconnected from his own mind. when sebastian was first prescribed lexapro, he flushed them down the toilet.
of course jess and sam were less than happy about about that.
sebastian doesn't remember that either. he was told it happened, but he doesn't truly remember it happening. whenever he tried to think of anything far in his past it was all blank, he can't remember anything. it wasn't like that for his first therapy visit, he remembered everything.
now, 3 years into the future; he can't remember shit. he can remember a few recent things, like the sleepover with ian, mandy and valerie. ian coming over and having spaghetti with sebastian. but a lot of things he just can't remember when he tries. he felt like the amnesia was getting worse.
sebastian also remembered breaking his collarbone — i mean it's quite hard to forget when the evidence is attached to him. every time he looked down at his arm, it reminded him of ice skating with valerie and ian. the sling was pretty fucking annoying though.
sebastian rubbed his face with his hand. he was so sick of wearing a sling, and just wanted it off. but he had to wait another month before that. sebastian was sitting on the floor against the side of his bed. valerie finally gave the drugs he had back after he stayed clean for the amount of time she wanted him to — so he was coming down from a morphine high.
sebastian groaned as he heard sam's voice calling his name from downstairs. he pushed himself up, and walked out of his bedroom. the noirette walked downstairs, and swung around towards the living room. it felt like everything stopped, his eyes were wide and mouth gaped open. his heart started pounding in his chest and his ears began to ring. everything sounded muffled.
sebastian stared at his older brother who was stood in the middle of the living room, smiling at his younger brother. "missed you, seb." louis grinned. sebastian shook his head, covering his eyes with his hand when he ducked his head down. he wasn't going to believe it, he didn't want to.
"what the fuck is he doing here." sebastian whispered softly, still holding his hand over his eyes.
"sebastian, this is a good thing!" jess reassured, a smile on her face when she ran over to her son.
"no the fuck it isn't" sebastian yelled, stumbling back away from his adoptive mother. he looked back up and unfortunately it wasn't a hallucination.
his brother was stood in the living room with their parents. how did he not hear him? sebastian was home all day he didn't know how he never realized that louis was at his house, and how their parents didn't fucking care. "he fucking murdered people!" sebastian continued to yell, flinching back when jess repeatedly tried to comfort her son.
"he never meant to!" sam countered, causing sebastian to look at his family like they were fucking insane.
"oh, he didn't mean to? he just accidentally murdered 10 people?!" sebastian felt like he was hearing things, that everything was happening in his head and it wasn't real.
"he never did it, he was framed!" sam argued with the noirette.
"he was not framed." sebastian shook his head, denying it. sebastian opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a knock at the door.
"don't answer that." sam told his son firmly who shook his head, backing up towards the door.
"sebastian!" jess called, trying to run forward and prevent the noirette from opening the front door. it was a futile attempt, and sebastian opened the door enough to peek through.
"i need to see you." ian said as soon as the noirette opened the door.
"really not a good time." sebastian laughed unamused, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head.
"i don't know where else to go." ian sounded on the verge of tears, taking another step closer to the noirette. sebastian let out a deep breath, turning back to look at what he thought was his family in the living room.
sebastian thought for a second. he didn't want to be anywhere near his older brother, or parents. they were all fucking delusional. he bit his lip and turned back to the red head. "i thought you were working today." sebastian told the red head, holding his forehead with his free hand with a sigh.
"linda's gonna have my ass. i'm supposed to be there now." ian informed the noirette, his voice shaky.
"yeah, sebastian's busy right now." jess cut into the conversation, opening the door slightly so ian could see her. she started closing the door but sebastian shoved his foot forward before it shut completely.
"meet me there in 10!" sebastian called out before pulling his foot back so jess could close it.
"you're not leaving." sam called out, gesturing for the two to go back to the living room.
"i don't want to be here right now." sebastian shook his head, his voice breaking.
"we have so much to talk about though." louis had a sick grin on his face. sebastian's eyes hardened when he looked at his older brother, his eyes filled with hatred.
"i can't do this." sebastian said, looking around at the three standing before him.
"where's maya and madeline?" the noirette asked.
"they left." jess informed her son, who quickly shot his head towards her.
"where?" he questioned.
"they went to live with at the milkovich's house." sam told his son softly. sebastian's eyes widened when he turned to his dad.
"maybe i will too." his eyes were starting to gloss over with tears."i'm done with this." sebastian said finally, turning to run up the stairs. he could hear the three calling after him but he wasn't listening. he packed what he could into his bag — specifically his drugs but a few other things. and ran back down the stairs. sebastian ignored his family when they tried to talk to him, and just ran out the door.
he didn't know if they were following him, and he didn't care if they were. he just ran. he ran all the way to the kash and grab where he told ian he was going to meet him and ran inside. ian was standing in there alone, leaning against the counter with an upset look on his face.
the red head turned to look at sebastian when he ran in. he quickly jogged around the counter, locking the door and flipping the sign to 'closed'. when ian turned around sebastian wasted no time in pulling him into a kiss by his collar. the two had a lot of pent up frustrations that they needed to release.
sebastian dropped his bag onto the floor and dragged ian to the back, still keeping their lips connected the whole way. sebastian only pulled away for a brief moment "i'm not topping." he told the red head firmly, the two out of breath from the kiss.
"thought you said you didn't bottom." ian said with slight amusement.
"i don't fucking care anymore."
SEBASTIAN NEARLY FELL OVER IN SURPRISE WHEN THE DOOR TO THE BACK ROOM OPENED, revealing kash. sebastian's eyes widened. "fuck." the noirette cursed, quickly pulling his jeans up. sebastian did not want to fucking deal with this now. he's not out to anyone other than his friends.
sebastian knew the way he reacted wasn't right, but he didn't know what else to do so he ran. he shoved past kash with wide eyes, picking up his bag and running the fuck out of the store. he felt so out of breath, like he was going to pass out. he knew it had to do with the running, and the lack of food. sebastian ran until he reached the park.
he shouldn't have reacted the way he did, because he was sure it made him seem embarrassed about ian and he knew he shouldn't have felt that way but he couldn't help it. seeing kash walk in on the two caught him by surprise, so he left.
he collapsed against a nearby tree, letting himself slide down against it. he rubbed his eyes with his hand, sighing. he tossed his bag in front of him, digging around for something. he found a small bag of cocaine, and he groaned. sebastian wasn't a huge fan of cocaine compared to most drugs — not as much as he hated smoking crack, that was worse.
he poured some in a small, short line along his pointer finger, and put it against his nose. he sharply inhaled it, pulling his head up fast. he deeply sighed, letting his head fall back against the tree trunk. it wasn't a lot, but it was enough to make him feel something.
he quickly wiped away anything in evidence that he did any coke, and just tossed the plastic bag into his backpack. he wasn't sure where he was gonna go, because he sure as hell wasn't going back to his house.
maybe he should go back to the kash and grab, and apologize to ian for running out like that. he wasn't sure if he should, because he feels embarrassed enough. he sat there against the tree for awhile, just debating on seeing ian again. he concluded that maybe he should, considering he had no other place to run to.
sebastian stood up, feeling a bit of the high from the drugs. he picked up his backpack and started to walk back to the kash and grab. on his way back he pulled out a pack of cigarettes — he knew smoking cigarettes as much as he did wasn't healthy, but then again neither was doing drugs — and he put the cigarette to his lips. he lit it with his lighter and stared at the ground while he walked.
he felt like being on cocaine wasn't as thrilling as other drugs, it didn't have the greatest effects on him. it made him super anxious, and made him shake a lot. he inhaled the smoke from his cigarette deeply, holding it in his lungs for a few seconds. he exhaled, watching as the smoke blew in the wind.
when he walked closer to the kash and grab he put the cigarette out on his hand with a small wince before tossing it into the snow. the chime rang through the store as he opened the door. sebastian looked around to find ian and just saw kash standing there. the noirette walked in, watching as kash was stocking the fruits and vegetables.
"you better keep your fucking mouth shut, kash." sebastian warned the older man. kash paused for a moment after hearing the noirette speak, before continuing what he was doing. sebastian picked up a small bag of chips and opened them. sebastian didn't want to pass out from not eating in that moment.
"keep your mouth shut." sebastian repeated, less aggressively and slower as kash walked around the counter and by the register. sebastian switched the bag of chips into his hand in the sling and dug around in his jacket pocket, looking for some money to pay for the bag of chips he picked up. the noirette leaned back against one of the shelves to help balance himself.
"put the chips back, sebastian." he could hear kash say, but put his hand up in a dismissive gesture while he continued to search for his wallet in his many pockets — because he wore a jacket over a hoodie and jeans, so he had many to look through.
"put it back now." sebastian didn't hear that, after being focused on his small search for his wallet. maybe it was in his bag. seb just assumed kash was waiting for him to retrieve his wallet, but in reality the older man had a gun aiming in his direction. it made the noirette jump as glass shattered on the shelf, a loud bang being heard.
sebastian's eyes widened, turning to look at kash like he was out of his mind. "what the fuck, kash!" sebastian yelled.
"what are you doing?" ian asked, panicked as he came out from the back room. but the next shot was directed towards him, a shot right to the ribs.
"motherfucker!" sebasitan shouted in pain, collapsing down with his hand over his side, the bag of chips falling and spreading out everywhere.
ian ran over, looking at kash then back down to the bleeding noirette. he ducked down to help his friend, holding his hand over the side he was shot at. sebastian groaned loudly, his eyes shutting. "hey, hey, listen, look at me." ian tried reassuring the noirette who was bleeding out — wasn't too obvious considering he was wearing a dark red hoodie.
sebastian let out a string of curses, ignoring ian's attempts at comforting him and just glared at kash. it didn't take long before police arrived, rushing into the store. they looked between the teenager on the floor and the older man behind the counter.
ian was told to leave, and that the other two were going to be brought to the station. "he needs to go to the fucking hospital, he was just shot!" ian raised his voice, gesturing at the noirette who was still hunched over in pain.
they carried the noirette out of the store and into the police car. apparently someone at the park saw him and called the police — to his surprise — and they followed him to the store where they heard the gunshots. but they were bringing him to the hospital first.
SEBASTIAN WAS TENDED TO, and he had a bandage wrapped over his ribs. almost immediately after he was brought to the station and got interrogated over the many drugs they found in his backpack. sebastian stared at the metal table in silence, after hearing the question he wasn't sure what to say.
it looked bad, yeah. a 16 year old kid with a shit ton of drugs on him while he was on coke. including the fact it looked like he was stealing at the kash and grab. "you do realize that you will have to go to a juvenile detention centre for this, right?" the detective in front of him asked. the whole time the detective was trying to get the noirette to talk, with no success.
sebastian did nothing but nod, and stare down at his hands. there was a small circle on his hand where he burnt out his cigarette — along with many others along different spots on his arm.
well this was the worst fucking day of sebastian's life. the noirette never thought he'd say that again. the first time he thought that was when his brother was dragged off to prison, the second was when he had the group therapy with his 'family'. the last was when he woke up after overdosing.
"you have a long history with drugs mr milkovich; overdosing, going to rehab for months, and now relapsing. we found records of you even selling them." the detective in from of him continued. sebastian looked up at him, a small frown on his face. "your school records show an average of a 4.1 gpa. i thought you would be smart." the detective gave a sigh.
sebastian looked at the detective with confusion, his brows furrowing. "my grades have nothing to do with my choices outside of school." sebastian pointed out.
"you can talk." he gave a sigh of relief.
"can i call someone?" sebastian wondered, ignoring his question.
"you can later. right now i just want to know where you got these from, and maybe you can get a shorter sentence." he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.
"i don't care about a shorter sentence, throw me in juvie, i don't fucking care." sebastian scoffed, leaning back in the metal chair.
seb knew he was screwing himself with this, but he really did not care at all.
"A YEAR." sebastian sighed, holding the phone against his ear.
"a year, are you kidding me? what're they charging you with?" fiona scoffed, not having a clue on why the noirette was in the situation to begin with.
"drug possession and use, and shoplifting apparently." sebastian sighed.
"what do you mean drug use, sebastian." fiona said, it sounded almost threatening to seb.
"i think i failed to mention that i was a recovering drug addict who spent months in rehab." sebastian told the woman with a slight wince. "and that i relapsed sometime in the past few months." sebastian added, shutting his eyes tightly.
"do you need me to go to the station?" fiona asked, her brows furrowing with concern.
"no, i'm okay. i'm telling them that the drugs are mine, and i did shoplift. it's no problem, fi, i'm just gonna take the time in juvie, i deserve it." sebastian sighed, chewing at his lip.
"no, sebastian. you don't deserve this." fiona disagreed with the teenager. "just because you have untold trauma, doesn't mean you deserve any of this." fiona continued with an attempt to comfort the noirette.
"but i do. i do deserve this. it's gonna be alright, fiona. you can come visit me when you can. and bring ian." sebastian told the brunette with a smile — even though she can't see him. fiona gave up on trying to convince the noirette to even consider fighting this.
"okay, sebastian." fiona let her head duck down slightly.
it was enough that monica was back. but now sebastian is in juvie? things were starting to pile up on her shoulders and she didn't know what to do about it. fiona felt responsible for sebastian — even if he wasn't hers to be responsible for — and she wanted to help him as much as she could.
SEASON ONE, EPISODE NINE
slightly edited
word count: 3548