"This is where the magic happens," tita said proudly and glanced at Matt who has his back on us. "Matt is the head of this department. Let's go back to the office because he doesn't like it when non-engineering staff loiters here."
I nodded at tita and took one quick look at Matt before I followed her to the office. We headed to the desks of the finance department.
Tita smiled at the people and she held both my shoulder while standing behind me. "This is Catria or Callie, she's the new member of the auditing team."
I smiled and nodded at them. I wasn't sure if I should wave or what, it was so hard to be in a casual setting in business and their business is so casual.
Everyone's gaze turned to me, some of them arched their brows while the others glared at me. Some of them just looked at me with straight faces, and only one of them was smiling at me.
Tita squeezed my shoulders. "Be nice to her, okay?"
I know and I noticed that all of them were forced to nod at tita but it was evident in the expressions on their faces that I was not welcomed in the company.
Tita turned to me. "I'll leave you to your department, Callie. Get acquainted with your workmates."
I smiled at her and nodded. "Thank you po for showing me around."
"Lily, ikaw na bahala rito kay Callie," tita told Mrs. De Guzman, the head of the finance department, before walking away.
Mrs. De Guzman guided me to my desk while she told me what I was going to do for the week. She was a soft-spoken woman and very motherly so it was easy to listen to her.
She wasn't hostile like the other members of the finance department and audit team. She trained me and showed me the ropes on how they audit the expenses and the profits of the company.
After a few hours of all that, I was able to start doing my work. We have weekly deadlines so I have to finish it before the deadline.
"Callie, kakain kami ng lunch, sama ka?" someone asked me.
I stilled and turned to the person who was asking me, it was Liz, one of my co-workers. My lips parted because I wasn't expecting that someone would ask me. I smiled and nodded. "Where—I mean, saan kayo usually kumakain?"
"Sa pantry kami kumakain ng lunch pero 'yong iba sa amin bumibili sa labas," she said with a smile. "Maraming malapit na kainan dito. Gusto mo samahan kita?"
I nodded. "Yes, please."
"Halika na, mamaya na ulit 'yan. Kaya nga tayo may deadline para hindi tayo nag-po-procrastinate pero hindi rin natin tinatapos sa isang araw 'yong trabaho natin."
"Okay," I said and stood up.
I followed her outside and she gave me a list of her restaurant recommendations but I settled with fast food because it was cheaper.
"Kumakain ka pala sa McDo," she said and chuckled while shaking her head.
I just smiled because maybe if I didn't meet Matt, I wouldn't be informed about the existence of fast-food restos.
I ordered chicken and rice before we headed back to the office. Liz and I went to the pantry where almost everyone was.
It was like a feast where all the departments come together to eat. I smiled at everyone but some ignored me while some were giving me annoyed looks. Some were still friendly but not as friendly as I was to them.
I bit my lip and glanced at the floor. Maybe, I should just eat at my office desk.
But that might trigger their anger more. They might say that I'm masungit, maarte, or mayabang.
I followed Liz's lead and sat with the other finance department people. Everyone stopped talking when Liz and I sat with them.
"Sinama ko si Callie," Liz said breaking the awkward silence.
I waved at everyone and gave them a friendly smile but they just nodded at me and continued eating. No one was talking even though they were laughing before we joined them.
I hated the silence and my ignored efforts. I hated trying and failing.
"Anong pinag-uusapan niyo kanina?" Liz asked everyone. She was really friendly and bubbly but it seemed like everyone disliked her because she brought me with her.
They started talking about one of our co-worker's tinder experience because the guy kept on sending her law school pick-up lines because the guy was insisting that he was a student at ALS.
I cringed at the story and the fact that the guy used ALS to pick up girls on Tinder. Guys like that are losers.
You don't need to prove that you are something if you really are. You don't have to blabber on and on that you're a law student if you are really acting like a law student.
"Kadiri talaga mga boys sa mga school na 'yon," Liz said and groaned.
"Hindi naman lahat!" Iris said and chuckled. "Si Engr. Torre hindi naman ganoon pero 'diba sa DLSU 'yon nag-aral?"
I pursed my lips as I listened to them talk or fantasize about Matt. This lunch is getting worse and worse.
"Grabe 'no? Kapag kaya tinignan mo social media accounts ni Engr. 'yong mga group photos nilang magkakaibigan halata na lahat sila accomplished tapos parang hindi pwede pangit sa grupo nila!"
"Stinalk niyo ba pati mga kaibigan niya?"
"Syempre naman! Lahat sila galing sa mga kilalang universities sa Pilipinas."
"Nakita mo ba sa UP si Miss Zia at Sir Julian?" they asked our co-worker who studied at UP.
He nodded with a smile. "Naging ka-org ko sila... pati 'yong activist na ano... 'yon. Alam niyo na 'yon."
I didn't know so I looked at everyone waiting if they will give me a clue because I really had no idea.
"Mababait nga silang magkakaibigan tapos friend ko si Julian sa Facebook, ang dami nilang tagged photos na nasa BGC sila, nasa bakasyon," he added to avoid the topic. "Grabe kaya mga buhay ng mga 'yon parang pwede ilagay sa magazine."
"Ikaw ba, Callie?" Liz asked me. Maybe because I was quiet the whole time. "Kakilala mo ba si Sir Matt? Parang close kasi kayo ni Atty. Torre."
I nodded and pursed my lips because I didn't know what to say but they were all looking at me as if what I would say is vital information. "We're from the same subdivision in QC. I've known Matt since we were kids but we're not close."
We're not close... anymore... I didn't want to tell them anything about Matt and me because I don't want to be denied.
"Tahimik pala talaga si Engr. kahit kapitbahay na hindi pa rin kinakaibigan," one of them commented.
I continued eating and didn't say anything. If only they knew...
"Saan ka ulit nag-aral ng college, Callie?" Liz asked trying to include me in their conversation about universities.
"NYU," I answered with hesitation. I wasn't proud about it because I was certain that my parents used money from the taxpayers to pay for my tuition.
Liz's lips parted as if she wasn't expecting that. "Talaga? Bakit dito ka nag-apply?"
"Ayaw ko mag-work sa big companies," I said and shrugged. "I don't want to be connected to my parents and the Cantabrias anymore."
"Papasok ka rin siguro sa pulitika kaya nagbubuo kayo ng pekeng away, 'no?" my co-worker who studied at UP said in a sarcastic way.
I pursed my lips and didn't talk back. I know that politicians from political clans do that so they can run without people pointing out their political dynasty but I wasn't doing that.
I wanted to stay away from politics as much as I can but my parents and the Cantabrias kept on dragging me with their nonstop interviews.
They talked about something else again that I couldn't relate to because it was an incident inside the office that happened way back. Everyone was laughing but I didn't because it felt like they have an inside joke that I wasn't allowed to know.
It felt isolating but I survived the whole lunch and went back to my desk to work on my tasks again.
After work, I arranged my things and bid goodbye to Liz before I headed out of the office. I went to the first floor and I halted when I saw the reporters sitting near the parking lot but before I could even turn away and walk back to the office the reporters already saw me and they swarmed all over me.
They started asking me questions while recording videos, I covered my face and continued walking to the car but they won't let me pass.
"Please, no pictures," I begged them while I was trying to get away from them. "No comment on anything," I said to make them stop but that didn't satisfy them.
They kept on asking more questions and I couldn't understand because they were all speaking at the same time.
"Please, let me get to my car," I said while my chest was tightening.
"What is happening here?" a baritone voice asked.
Everyone turned to the person who spoke and Matt was there.
He was gazing intensely at the reporters and strode toward us. "You know that this is a privately owned property, right?" he asked the reporters.
No one uttered a word and they all stepped away from me.
"Somebody already filed a case against your media company for disrespecting a private citizen's privacy. Do you want another case for trespassing, disrupting a company, and harassing someone?"
He walked toward me and walked with me to Hunter's car. I just followed him without glancing at the reporters. My heart was racing because he was so close to me.
I opened the door and went inside my car. "Thanks," I told Matt.
Matt wasn't looking at me, he was looking at the reporters. "Bring your problems elsewhere, Catria."
I pursed my lips and nodded even though I felt a stab in my heart with the coldness of his voice. "I'm sorry. I will."
I closed the door and started the engine with my shaky hands. Tears were pooling in my eyes, I stared at Matt's annoyed expression. I hated that expression on his face because it made me feel more worthless.
My tears started streaming down my face and my chest felt heavier. Thankfully, the car was heavily tinted so he didn't see how bad I felt.
I didn't want to make him think that I was trying to play on pity. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I cannot drive while I'm like this.
I wiped my tears away before driving off.
I created problems for him again.
When I got home, I did my night routine and went straight to bed. I wasn't in the mood to eat or do anything else.
What a disaster... My co-workers didn't like me. I know that I wasn't wanted at that table earlier but I still forced myself into their circle.
The media disrupted our workplace because of me and Matt had to talk to them.
I stared at the ceiling and held onto my pendant and my tears started falling from the sides of my eyes.
"When will things be over?" I asked while caressing my pendant. "I want it to be over."
I don't think I will ever be forgiven for what my parents and I did. Will I ever be forgiven? Will it ever end?
I caressed my pendant and tried to enjoy the silence but my brain was too noisy. My mind is everywhere... in places where I don't want it to be.
My phone vibrated from the nightstand but I was too occupied by my own thoughts. Would things have been better if I was able to give up before?
God! Why did my parents pull me out of that dark place only for them to put me in an even darker place?
I thought things were getting better for me before but it turns out, everything was just a figment of my imagination.
When you think life is getting better, it slaps with the reality that you are more messed up now and that you cannot recover.
Things will never get better because your messed up past will always haunt you and you have to suffer the consequences of your actions.
The next day, I got up and readied myself for work again. I wasn't in the mood to go to work but I didn't want to give anyone a reason to hate me more.
I went downstairs and manang, the housekeeper, was already cleaning up the living room. She's too early today.
She smiled at me and bowed. "Good morning po, Miss Callie."
I smiled back. "Good morning din po. Ang aga niyo po ngayon."
"Pinapunta ho talaga ako nang maaga ni Sir Hunter, para ipagluto po kayo ng breakfast at ng baon niyo po."
"Oh, you shouldn't have po, I am okay with eating bread in the morning." I walked to the kitchen and there was a bowl of sopas on the table. There was also a lunch bag on top of the kitchen island.
I sighed and forced myself to sit on a chair in front of the dining table. I wasn't in the mood to eat breakfast but I still did because I don't want to offend manang.
She was really nice to me and she took the time to cook for me. I scrolled through my phone and read the messages that Hunter and Hailey sent me last night. Hailey's messages were asking me about how my work went, if everything was okay and if I needed anything. I replied to Hailey that everything was fine...
Even though everything wasn't fine because I know that she'll do stuff just to make me feel better even if she doesn't have to. She doesn't owe me anything, I'm the one who owes them a lot.
After replying to Hailey, I tapped on Hunter's messages. His messages were more formal and business-like, he just informed me that the network will issue a public apology to me because of all the harassment I went through...
And that Matt was suing the media company for what they did to our workplace yesterday. My chest tightened because I knew that Matt hated drawing attention to himself but he still did it because of what the press did and that was all on me.
I got up and prepared my things after eating and bid goodbye to manang. It took me hours before I arrived at the office because of the heavy traffic.
I went to my desk and placed my bag at the side. Then, I walked toward tita Shirley's office and rang the doorbell.
The door opened and I froze when my eyes met Matt's intense gaze. He squinted his eyes.
"What are you doing here? What do you need from my mom?"
"I just... I wanted... I..." I pursed my lips and calmed myself down, I think I lost my ability to form coherent sentences.
"What?"
"Matt, sino 'yan?" I heard tita ask from inside the office.
Matt glanced at tita Shirley. "Catria Mariano."
I looked away because of how he said my name. It was cold but it slid out of his mouth alluringly.
I shook the thoughts away when I heard tita call my name. Matt widened the opening of the door and let me inside tita Shirley's office.
Tita Shirley smiled at me. "What brings you here, Callie?"
"I... would like to apologize... for what happened yesterday," I said and looked down. "I know that you like keeping a low profile so I'm really sorry for bringing trouble to your company."
Tita Shirley's face lit up as she shook her head. "It was okay, Callie! Don't worry about it, it wasn't like you wanted it to happen."
"I didn't..." I glanced at Matt who wasn't even looking at me. "And thank you for taking action. I know that you did do it for your company but it still made me feel safer."
Tita beamed. "Don't worry about it, Callie!"
Matt scoffed. "I'll work now, mom."
Tita Shirley playfully rolled her eyes at Matt. "Go ahead, those fans won't build themselves."
Matt just shook his head. "I'll go out later for lunch."
Tita waved her hand nonchalantly at Matt before Matt walked out. She turned to me. "How's your first day, Callie?"
"It was okay..." I smiled. "Mrs. De Guzman was great at training, she was intricate in explaining how to do things."
"And she said you were a fast learner." She chuckled.
That lightened up my mood and erased some of the bad thoughts... At least I'm doing one thing right.
Tita discussed with me some of the feedback that was given by Mrs. De Guzman and all of her comments about how I work and my habits were good so I was eager to do better than I did yesterday.
Maybe if I do better every day, things will change. I just have to go on and continue what I'm doing.
After talking to tita Shirley, I went to my desk and started on the auditing. I was more motivated because of the feedback that was given.
"Callie, lunch na tayo," Liz said when she approached my table. "11 na."
"Oh!" I glanced at my watch. I didn't even notice the time. "I'll just finish this one column."
"Mamaya na 'yan, Callie," she said and laughed. "Workaholic ka na agad."
I smiled. "I just want to finish this immediately so I can start on my tasks for next week."
She shrugged but she was still smiling. "Ang sipag."
"Hindi," I said and laughed. "I'm just used to finishing tasks early when I was still in school."
"Oh, sige," she said. "Punta ka na lang sa pantry sabay ka ulit sa 'min."
I nodded hesitantly... I don't know if she was trying to make me look bad on purpose or if she really doesn't see that our co-workers don't like me.
She was nice so maybe it was the latter. Ugh! I don't know!
She left me alone so I was able to continue my work. I can just eat lunch later after I am done with this.
I felt Matt walk by, I know that it was him because he didn't change his perfume.
He smelled the same, he just doesn't feel the same.