16 June
"Keep your eyes on your opponent." Xander said as I grunted, trying to keep myself stable while holding Xander's sword away from me with my own.
"Well, I would, but the fact that my Father's watching me distracts me a bit," I say through gritted teeth, and manage to throw Xander off "And you're going easy, when you know I need more practice."
So, we restart.
Fighting is more like a dance than actual pushing and shoving. It's more like a skill where you gracefully try and hit your opponent. It's taken me a while to learn the steps of the graceful dance of near death, but it has paid out when I'm coming close to beating the youngest knight in the kingdom. Today though, I was just being sloppy. Sloppy as I was getting my anger out on Xander for what he had said to me earlier.
"Why are you pushing yourself so hard today?" Xander asked as I blocked one of his attacks.
"Why do you want to know so bad?" I say as I take a jab at him.
"Katie, come on. You can't just cut me out of your life for yelling at you once, so please, just tell me." Xander says as I push myself harder and harder.
"Can't you just mind your own business for once!" I yell as I lunge at him and knock his sword out of his hand, onto the ground just by my Father's feet.
I give Xander one last glare before sheathing my sword and running back into the Castle to get ready for tonight's ball.
{---------}
I slammed open my door and walked in then slammed my door closed and took off my stuff.
I was so angry at him. At everyone that was preventing me from showing how much I love Jameson.
Alice came in a closed the door quietly as I stripped and got out what I would be wearing to the ball, but as I started to get things like a corset on, she tapped me on the shoulder, making me drop it on my foot, hurting it.
"Dang it, Alice!" I say as I walk over to my bed and pick up the corset on the way there and check to see if my toes were in any way damaged badly.
"What's gotten you so pissed off?" Alice asks me and takes the corset from my bed and turns me around to stick it on.
"Just something Xander did earlier," I say as I suck in a breath as Alice pulls the corset tight "It's nothing big."
"Well, it clearly is if you're slamming doors, it's not nothing," Alice says as she finishes tying up the corset and starts untying my hair "But if you don't want to talk, don't."
I ignored her as I sat there in a huff.
Father then suddenly burst through the doors, an enraged look on his face as he stomped towards me. Alice stood back as he did so. I tried to keep a calm look on my face and got comfy on my bed, getting ready to be told off.
"What on earth was that! To start with, you were sloppy, your posture was terrible throughout the whole thing and lastly, you almost injured the only person that you would let teach you as you tried to deliberately injure the rest of them!" Father said as I tried to finish taking out my hair, then tried to get up during Father's lecture, but he pushed me back down.
"No, you will sit here and wait till I am done talking until you get up." Father tells me.
"Well, would you want me to be late to the ball in which you are saying about how I truly 'need' a husband? Or would you like me to be fashionably late like normal? I wouldn't mind being late as it would mean that I don't have to spend as much time in a room with the person I'm holding a grudge against." I said, a straight face fully intact as I contained the inner emotions I had, that wanted to burst out so easily.
"Well, the person I suspect you are holding a grudge against will be escorting you to the ball. There, you two will have to discuss your emotions and what happened out there today. If nothing is done, he will be escorting you everywhere until you two can talk things out," Father says and then swiftly changes topic "Anyway, I don't want you to be late, so go get ready. We will discuss this later."
And then he leaves.
I breathe a sigh of relief when Father leaves and I can get up to go get the dress I'm wearing tonight to the ball.
"You know he doesn't mean to be hard on you," I hear a voice say from behind me that wasn't Alice's "Miss Lysandral, you can leave. I can help your sister prepare for the ball."
"Please Xander, just call me Alice. You're best friends with my older sister, and I'm nothing like the dungeon spider that is my younger sister." Alice says, and I manage to push out a small smile on my face as I grab the dress I want.
I compose my face again before turning around to see Alice leave the room and the door shut.
"Why are you here?" I ask as I walk over and stick the dress down on my bed.
I pick up my corset and try and put it on myself, finding the small task surprisingly difficult as I feel warm hands on my waist, taking the corset from my hands, and tightening it, no questions asked.
"Thank you." I say, before stepping over to my dress.
"If you can't even get into a corset on your own, how do you expect to get into what you call 'a death trap' on your own." Xander says, and only now, is when I fully turn to face him, looking him up and down as I did so. He looked wonderful. Clearly, someone had told him what I would be wearing, as he was wearing a forest green suit that matched my dress. I smiled at the fact someone had told him what I would be wearing.
"Why do you think I can do nothing on my own?" I ask staring at him intently.
"I think you can do a lot independently Kaitlyn, it's just that, when you're angry at someone, or holding a grudge, you're terrible at doing things. Even with help," Xander says, picking up the dress as he did so and unzipping it "I care about you, and want the best for you. So, what happened earlier with you and Jameson almost being caught. . . I want you to be able to be open about who you love. With the invisible rules your Father has set out for you, I will help you as much as I can in keeping your relationship a secret. Now, let me help you into this dress, or I will force you into this, and you'll be fashionably late. Again."
"I think I would like to give it a try first." I say grab the dress from Xander and try and get into it.
I struggled. I could barely get one foot into it before falling. Luckily Xander caught me, and I pushed myself out of the dress. I looked at it, lying on the floor and I don't know what it was, but I just walked away. I walked away from the dress and into the bathroom.
I closed the door and locked it. I sat down on the toilet. From there, I cried.
After a couple of minutes, I heard a knock followed by Xander talking.
"Kaitlyn." He said and then went quiet.
I continued to sob as I heard a sliding sound on the other side of the door.
"Kaitlyn, until you open this door, I will sit here and wait. Even if that means I have to get Jameson up here, or your Father shouts at me." Xander says and I hear him bang his head against the door.
"How would you even know where Jameson is?" I ask, sticking my head in my hands.
"She speaks!" Xander yells and I let out a small laugh "He told me yesterday when I was sneaking him out of the Castle that he would be here doing portraits at the ball to keep people interested, as well as you and your sisters not being bored out your minds."
I took a deep breath and stood up, unlocking the door. I opened it, clearly catching Xander by surprise as he fell through the door.
"Thank goodness you're out! My butt was getting numb, and I don't think I could sit here for hours on end, just waiting for you to come out of a bathroom," Xander says and I give him a small smile "Now, you have a wonderful dress, that matches my very uncomfortably tight suit, and I want to get this night over and done with as soon as possible, so then I can get out of this suit."
I smiled, walked over him and went over to my dress and started to try and get ready.
{---------}
When we arrived, it was only just on time. And when I say that, I mean, Father was giving me the looks of 'how will this kingdom ever last with a queen like my own daughter?' and I knew then, with what I had planned in my head for when Father had passed, he would be rolling in his grave.
As Xander and I walked down the stairs, I was hit by what felt like a wall of sound in my head. One that hadn't been there before and it felt like a tuba was playing right into my ears.
I winced and Xander turned to look at me, a worried expression on his face.
"What's wrong?" He asked as I tried to block out the other sounds of the ball surrounding me.
"I don't know. I need to get to a quieter space to hear what's going on in there." I say, all my focus turning to what was happening in my head.
"The voices? They're back?" He asked, a now deeply worried look on his face.
"Yes." I say shortly, not bothering to give any sort of context to guests as they tried to greet the pair of us as Xander and I passed them on the way to a quieter room.
On our travels through the ballroom, I saw Jameson on the edge, painting Alice's portrait. I watched them smile and laugh about something, and then she pointed to me with a smile on her face, glancing at Jameson as she did so.
Soon enough after though, I was briskly shoved into one of the study's Father uses and I was plonked down into a chair.
"Now we're in a quieter room, listen to the voices and nothing else." Xander says, standing in front of me like listening to the voices would save a life.
"Well, I would be able to listen to them better if you would shut up." I replied, sassing him.
I listen in as I hear Xander sass me back, but I don't decipher what he says as I was concentrating too hard to make my mind do anything else.
"Use this warning wisely; you only have months to prepare before you rule."
I sat there in a stunned silence as I listened to this. My Father only had months left to live and there was a high chance there was nothing I could do about it.
Xander saw my face drop as I retained the information I was hearing as the door to the study we were in slammed open when Jameson burst through it.
"I saw you two rush away to somewhere when Alice pointed you both out. So, I decided to follow you both and see where you went. You both went in and from what I could hear, it was deadly silent, so something is wrong and I want to know what." Jameson rushes out as Xander stands up, expecting someone like my Father to have walked through.
"When we were walking down the stairs, Kaitlyn heard a fresh set of voices in her head." Xander said, returning to his original position.
"I couldn't hear them properly, so when Xander asked about what they said, and I said the room was too loud, he dragged me in here." I said, brushing down my skirts and taking a deep breath, before looking Jameson in the eyes.
All I could see was pity and worry.
"So what did they say?" Was all Jameson asked of me from there before walking towards me and lifting me so I could nuzzle into him as I spoke.
I took a deep breath before answering the question as it deeply worried me what both of them would do from my answer.
"They were saying how I should 'use this warning wisely' and that I only have 'months to prepare before you rule' and that was it. You were saying my Father is going to die in less than a year."
Xander taps me on the shoulder so that I look at him.
"Could you give us an exact quote of what they said?" He asks and I nod my head.
"An exact quote of what the voices said is 'Use this warning wisely; you only have months to prepare before you rule.' so there, that's what they said. You're welcome." Was all I said before trying to get up, but was held down by strong arms.
"So you're saying there is a high chance you're going to be a mother in less than a year?" Jameson asks me straight up.
"Yep." Was all I said as I felt redness creep onto my face as I heard Xander snort.
"What are you laughing at?" I ask in confusion as I thought that Xander would be worried, not chuckling at the fact my Father would be dead soon.
"Oh, I'm not laughing at the fact your Father will be dead in a few months, I'm laughing at the fact, that in a few months you two will have had intercourse and will probably still not have revealed your relationship, let alone be married.
"And why are you stating this?" I ask.
"Well, because if you have a child out of wedlock, especially after his Majesty is dead, everyone will call you things like 'the slut queen' among other things." Xander replies, a slight grim look on his face, that was outcasted when the small smirk came through his facial expressions.
"Don't you dare talk to Kaitlyn like that." Jameson growls out at Xander, a snarl showing on his face and venom dripping from his words.
While the boys continued to growl at each other, I managed to slip out of the study and back up to my room where I found Alice pacing by the door.
"Alice, what are you doing here?" I asked in confusion as to why she wasn't down at the ball, enjoying being the life of the party for once.
"Well, your boyfriend abandoned painting me to go check on you, so I slipped up here to make sure you didn't disappear up here for the night. So, I'm telling you now, go back downstairs, have fun and forget about it." Alice rants out as I stand there smiling before taking her hand and leading her back downstairs to where I found Xander and Jameson, running around, trying to find both of us.
"Finally found you," Xander said, breathing out a sigh of relief as he hugged me, gave me a once-over and then did the same to Alice "I'm not losing you again, so I hereby command you to stay by your boyfriend all night. I don't care if you two are caught. All I care about right now is that that doesn't happen again." He said and then calmed down a bit.
"I would want to say I'm not happy about this, but that would be a total lie," I say before turning to Jameson and kissing him on the cheek "Now, come on, I want to have some fun tonight."
So with that, I forgot my worries as the fun-filled night of dancing, laughs and giggles began, and Of course, there was some hiding from Father that happened as well.
The night had to end at some point though, and the last thing I can remember from tonight was that Jameson kissed me and then snuck out of my room before I went to bed.
The one thing that bothered me all night though, was the voices. I know the truth will come out at some point but can't I just have one small bit of happiness for once?
The answer is clearly no from the words that now keep me awake at night.
'Use this warning wisely; you only have months to prepare before you rule.'
UPDATED; 01/12/2022
WORDS; 2779