He was aware of the smell of must within the apartment complex. It was as familiar as his heartbeat now. Just like the penthouse suite that had become little more than a foggy dream of its former glory. Mouldy beds and rotted dreams.
He was blinded by the bright sun of morning, shielding his eyes he rose from sleeping, looking to the small body that lay peacefully next to him. But it wasn't there. Not anymore.
It was true that today would've been the child’s birthday. There was a time when everyone came together and celebrated with cake and laughter. With parties with other human beings. But things had changed. Everything had changed. The human race had become more… desperate than generous.
The teenager remembered those times like they were some dream. Two lonely males; a teenager and a ten year old - one who was frozen perfectly in time - just trying to survive for the human race’s sake.
He hadn’t lost himself. Not yet.
The teenager got up with the aches and burns in his body and looked in a dusted mirror. There was still a face there, thin and starving but still there; he had pale skin but it was stained with dirt and sweat. Blonde hair which was barely recognisable under the matted, dried blood and mud.
He had to remind himself that he was still human every morning. That despite everything around him, he was still alive. And would stay alive no matter what for Alan. Because of the promise he made to him in those seconds before death snatched him away.
“My name is Ryan. Alan is gone. I am alone”
***
He had food. Plenty of it for now. But it was the kid’s birthday, so he wanted to do something useful... Anything but sitting there, in the silence. Maybe he could actually find a sweet or something special that would make a change.
He didn't know exactly how anything like that would survive, but it would be a problem for later. He'd survived one year without mum or dad, and that was worth something to him. Even if his brother wasn't there to appreciate that.
Ryan looked up at the apartment he was staying at; his dad had blown up the floors below with some explosives that he managed to scavenge the first few days. It was strong enough for the smell to burn and linger. The bang had attracted a lot of them, but after some tried and failed to get up, they gave up and moved away.
That was the scariest night of them all for him. Not knowing if the thump they heard would be the last they would ever hear. At the memory alone he shivered.
Ryan left the emergency stairwell and kept moving, weaving through the city streets that he came to know so well. He had an old rucksack on his back and a whole day to spare, maybe two. He knew that the kid would've hated him for it.
As he ran, he thought of where he would go. It would take a while before he would have to get back, but he could do with the fresh...ish air outside. There was a lot of risk nearer the centre of the old city, a lot of the dead usually gathering there.
So there wasn’t much chance he would go down that way; but he saw a castle to the east the other week that he wanted to check out. It looked like it had electricity, and where there was electrics, there was probably a fridge.
His dad always told him to never go that way. The north and the east were always out of bounds to him and their family. Ryan trusted his dad's judgement, but everywhere in the south-west was sucked dry of resources. There was barely any food, the fuel from skeleton cars long gone.
Ryan continued to check those that he came across, however. Mostly out of some dying hope. It should've gone by now. A rare, stupid thing to believe in. Nobody had hope or a life or a job or a family. Although technically, he was nobody. He was everybody. The human race nothing more than a memory.
He sighed. Looking to the north-east, or at least, what he thought to be north-east, a thought came to mind. One he had hoped to never think. One that scared him.
It was time to move on.
****
He noticed the cute bakeries and patisseries lining the cobbled roads like ancient doilies, rusted, groggy and decrepit. Their signs were broken, the letters crumbling and falling off the side of the wall. Anything that was there once was long gone; all that remained was the cracking walls and useless cash register, gathering dust together in the bleeding light.
The signs creaked in the wind. They moved slower than normal and for a moment he just stared.
He was to move on further into the mall. But he paused, for he saw something bright and shining on the floor in the bakery, which could be a shiv or something similar.
Ryan stepped into the shop, cautious but curious. He held his shotgun in front of him, with only a few shells left. He didn’t count them, but he could feel the weight was just enough to have just one in there. It was more than enough for him to handle anything that might come too close.
As expected, there wasn’t much that gave him hope of finding a cake in the bright shop. Once it might have been an adorable place, one where children would go with their over-protective relatives to get small goodies. It was a carefree time, Ryan thought, and I bet nobody could ever expect what happened next. But the shining object on the floor… that was something new. He approached it with a hand outstretched-
A groaning zombie clawed at him out of nowhere, he was dead, to be sure. His jaw was half collapsed and his eyes were sunken and missing. Even though this one was blind, it could still smell, hear and probably feel the skin on Ryan’s thin skeleton. He was looking at him, right at him but took a while to understand that this was a meal – that this wasn’t dead; the boy’s heartbeat grew slow.
He held the gun up to his head, wondering if one blow would be enough, would he have time for a shot, just in case? No, no it was too risky.
What do I do? He hissed in his thudding brain, Oh god, whatdoIdowhatdoIdo!?
He had to move. His instincts were screaming at him to move a muscle, anything to just get away from this thing. Ryan’s foot moved a bit behind, but it was a deadly mistake. The zombie grabbed at him, too closely and he panicked and yelled out, readying his gun to fire.
It was too late, the thing groaned and clamped his sickly, corpse hand on him, he struggled but it was too close to his mouth and then he felt a pit fall into his stomach as the dead man gnawed on his forearm, chomping his filthy mouth in his flesh and half his hand. He screamed out loudly and harshly in the darkness -
“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!”
The shotgun was loud, and it was a miracle that his entire arm wasn’t taken off in the blast, but he moved it just in time. The zombie’s brains exploded spectacularly and he fell in a pile onto the ground. Ryan gripped his arm, looking at the blood which made a rough semicircle with tombstone-shaped teeth. He wanted to throw up, his flesh was exposed and a small bit of bone was also present, a perfect white amongst the dark, congealing red.
That was it. He’d failed.
He wanted to cry, yell and scream at himself and the world. He looked at the shotgun, it was double barrelled, a great find if there was anybody else out there. He doubted that. He would spend the last seconds of his life wondering if he could’ve done more.
If he should’ve just stayed where he was, maybe just ended it all before now… to be with Alan. He wouldn’t understand at first. It would probably take Ryan a while to try to make him get it. But then he would. He was a smart kid – he would figure it out. He always did.
Ryan held the gun in his mouth, closing his eyes. In one shot and it would all be over. He wouldn’t become one of them, he just wouldn’t. He didn’t know how long it would take before the change would happen, but it was easier to just do this now. He thought of every single life that he'd known and then each one vanished before him. Now it was his turn. Before it was too late…
“Stop.”
He then stared, open mouthed at her. She was slightly smaller than him, but with dark brown hair that went past her shoulders, it was a complete mess, like him. Dried with blood and sweat, but not as dirty as his. She had a young figure, like him, bright and shining brown eyes. Fair skin.
It was a human. Another. The first strange face he had encountered in over a year. All thoughts of suicide drained away in an instant and were replaced by curiosity and… fear. She had a face full of concern and tried to reach for the gun so he wouldn’t blow his brains all over the floor.
“Don’t move!” he commanded, twisting the gun around to her. He remembered what the human race was like now. It wasn’t like the story books. They weren’t kind anymore.
The girl didn’t bring her hands up as he expected. In fact she just opened her arms to the hollow blackness of the nozzle of the shotgun. Inviting him to shoot. She didn’t need any words, she just stood with the metal pressed into her chest. Watching him as he watched her.
“Who are you?” He asked shakily.
“Human. As far as you can probably tell.”
“I asked for your name.”
“Leah.” She said calmly. “And you?”
“No. No names.”
“Fine.” She still was so calm – soothing, even with that voice. Ryan didn’t understand it, but he didn’t understand much anymore. He kept the gun steady.
"Please." She said. "Are you going to shoot yourself?"
"I'll do what I need to do. It's none of your business."
"You're as alive as I am." She said. "Of course it's my business."
“Shut up. Do you have anything on you?”
Her eyes suddenly grew harsh and cold. “Now why should I tell you?”
“I’m holding the gun.”
“Yeah.” She eyed it. “And if you were serious about using it I’d be dead now, wouldn’t I?”
Ryan blinked but didn’t say anything in reply. He was scared that she was right – and that meant that she would have an advantage.
“I’d love to hang around playing cowboys but I have people I need to get to. So are you going to put down the gun?”
“Why should I do that?”
“Because we’re talking. And I don’t think that you can talk me to death.”
Ryan let loose a smile and almost laughed. But then his expression downturned. This bitch wasn’t a fucking clown. She was going to kill him and he knew it, so why wasn’t he shooting her and moving on?
But there was a sound that made them both turn around in horror. The growl of a zombie in the back of the bakery, obviously smelling and hearing the commotion. She spun around and backed away slowly. “Come with me.” She whispered quietly to him.
“You think I’m stupid or something?”
“Oh just shut up, will you?!”
And for some insane reason, Ryan actually listened to her.
He kept thinking about just leaving her and going his own way, but there were so few humans… they wouldn’t be able to avoid each other forever. Besides, it was interesting for Ryan to actually find a new face in the darkness and ashes. Especially a girl of his age. His second thought was that she might be the only woman left in the world and in that case…
He shook his head to clear it as he weaved through the streets. Feeling his cheeks burn.