Three months later...
* * *
– New! — I called as I entered the kitchen. I just got my groceries and was about to unpack them. Nu entered the room a moment later, phone in hand. - What are you doing?
— I'm reading that story we're supposed to play — He replied calmly, showing me the screen of his phone.
– And? What do you think about it? — I wanted to know why I stopped placing my purchases.
— It's brilliant! — He exclaimed, waving his arms. He was clearly happy and excited. The proposal to join the casting came to us completely unexpectedly like a bolt from the blue, but it was a gift from fate for us.
— Seriously?
— Yes! Did you know that the main characters will fight demons and save the world?! Great, right? I want to get the lead role, I want to play Pierre! — He walked over to the table and started unpacking my bags. One of them contained his favorite macaroons. — P'Zee, you remembered that I like them!
— Of course I remembered. — I winked at him, smirking mischievously. — I remember everything about you.
— Hia Zee Pruk... — He chuckled.
He was so sweet! I went over and pinched his cute cheek lightly to make sure he was really there, that he was real, that I wasn't imagining him, or that it wasn't just a dream. Even if it was a dream, I wouldn't want to wake up from it. Because if I woke up from such a beautiful dream, I would try my best to go back to sleep and dream again about my beautiful prince charming who came into my life like a knight on a white horse and saved me. There was no exaggeration in this statement. For me, Nu was the knight, the warrior who saved me, helped me find the real me. I will never repay him fully for that. I love him, now I know it for sure, P'Zee loves NuNew.
Outside, the weather was almost unbearable as usual this time of year. It was steamy and stuffy, the air was filled with an amazing scent of flowers. I was glad it was our days off to spend in the pool at the back of the house. I dreamed of changing my clothes and jumping into the cool water. Nu, meanwhile, kept talking about our new project that we both wanted to be involved in. The offer was extremely tempting and could make us recognizable also in Europe, which seemed so distant to us, as if it was behind a glass wall: we saw it, but we couldn't get to it.
I smiled at his excitement.
– So, as I understand it, you want to meet the author of this fanfiction?
— Yes! He or she must be a very interesting person. And it's not at all like our beloved Cutie Pie, and I thought there would be something similar.
— Well... I have to worry you a bit about that.
-— What? Why?
— The script can be very different from the original text, and the director and producer themselves may want to make some changes. It may end up not being anything like the original. Who knows, maybe they'll want to turn it into something more, you know, ours, Thai, homely, something that our audience understands better.
The smile disappeared from his face and I immediately regretted my words. I only said that so he wouldn't get his expectations too high, I didn't want to make him sad. I left my half-unpacked bag on the table and walked over to him. He was sitting on a chair by the table, giving up eating his macaroons, so it was easy for me to wrap my arms around him from behind and hug him. He pursed his lips, clearly showing me that he was offended at me.
He wasn't really offended at all, he just liked to tease me as much as I liked him.
— You know, this story was written by a person from Europe, and let's be honest, European realities are a bit different than ours. Meanwhile, the script was created by our Thai screenwriting duo, hence there may be minor inaccuracies and differences. But don't worry, I'll make sure you don't have any trouble with any of the passages.
— Mhm... I'm still mad at you.
— Ah yes? What should I do to make you not angry?
— Write "idiot" on your forehead and keep it that way for the rest of the day.
— You think I won't, Nu? — I looked at him, wanting to tell him with my attitude that I accept the challenge he threw at me. Before he could stop me, I left the kitchen, peeked into my room, where I grabbed a blue marker from my desk. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and slowly began to write "idiot", then decided that was not enough and added a note on both cheeks: "who loves NuNew". And then I went to show him.
— Hia... What have you done? — He scolded me, taking his eyes off the screen and studying my face.
— I just wanted to make you feel better — I said and pursed my lips while blinking my eyes. — Now, please, Nu, don't be angry with me. I said it without thinking, sorry.
— Okay, I'll forgive you if you let me take your picture.
— Of course, Nu. — I nodded and tried to move closer to him, but he stopped me with his outstretched palm resting on my chest. I furrowed one eyebrow. I see?
Nu snapped the picture, smiling briefly, but that smile quickly faded from his face. I asked what it was about.
— Oh, nothing, I just got up and wanted to put your picture on my Instagram ... I forgot that I'm not allowed to do that.
I hated moments like this when I heard so much sadness in his speech, saw his heart break and another disappointment met his eyes before my eyes. Maybe I should honestly tell him that this is the price to pay for my dreams, but even in my mind it sounded too cruel. We often did something together and in memory of such moments, we took pictures of each other, New was a child of generation Z, sharing his life on Instagram seemed normal to him and he didn't see anything strange or wrong in it, he trusted his fans and followers, he believed that people they are good and that no one wishes him bad. Once I tried to explain to him that it is not so, that in every social group, even among fans, there can be someone who will want to use or hurt him. He didn't listen to me, and I didn't blame him for that. We were not only 9 years apart, but we also had different views on some issues, sharing our lives with others was one of them: I learned to keep everything to myself, protect my privacy, New was different. Whatever aroused great emotions in him, he wanted to talk about it with others, he wanted to know their feelings on the subject, he listened carefully to their opinion, he was interested in their opinion. New was very devoted to his fans. I still didn't fully trust them, I still smelled some conspiracy, I was always incredibly cautious. If we put any pictures on Instagram and Twitter, only those that P'Sky or P'Aof approved.
— Do you know? — He said after a moment's thought, stopping reading for good, locking the phone and putting it on the counter. — I think it's going to be different this time. The series in which we are to play is sponsored by a large European concern that cannot afford any slip-ups. I think that this time they will take into account the author's opinion and will not try to change it by force. The more that she is a woman and as a woman she certainly knows a bit better how to reach a female audience.
— If they don't make money from it and if it doesn't sell, maybe they'll change the concept. It's about the sale, whether the money spent on it will pay off. Nobody wants to suffer losses, it is better to change something.
— You're stubborn! Anyway, it'll be fun to play a hero saving the world for a change. Just think about it. Imagine you get the role of Pierre, who is the main character, he's a young up-and-coming Shadowhunter who saves people from demons, he's manly, brave and strong, and he doesn't hide for a moment that he's gay. And then let's assume that I get the role of Yuki, the charming but equally brave, if at the right moments also gentle or sharp beloved of Pierre, who hides the heart of a warrior ready for anything in his tiny body. They both love cooking, fast cars, sports, both are 100% sure of who they are and who they are attracted to, both have secrets that they gradually reveal to each other. And in the meantime, they are going through what every human being does, dealing with the death of a friend and fighting for LGBT rights in a world where LGBT is treated as a plague, as something bad. Just think, Formula 1 drivers race in countries where you can go to jail or die for being part of the LGBT community. It's not just about filming a stupid novella, it's about much more.
I was impressed. Nu liked to talk a lot, but it had been a long time since he had said so much and raised his voice. His cheeks flushed with emotion, his eyes sparkled. This topic was important to him and he didn't want to let go, he believed that suddenly there was a chance for us to contribute to building a new world, full of acceptance and understanding.
This was one of the characteristics of Generation Z, they wanted to change the world, they cared about nature, they fought for the rights of minorities and they believed that no matter how long we live, we must do our best to leave the world a little bit better.
I hugged him.
—I love you, you know? — I said quietly, hiding from him the tears of emotion that uncontrollably began to flow down my cheeks. I was so immensely proud of him, of my little Nu! To me, he was like a good-natured elf who wanted to help humanity and entertain them at the same time. Nu didn't know it, but with his behavior and his voice he was able to glue broken hearts together, healing them like the best medicine. That's how he fixed my heart when I had lost hope. He appeared in my life at a time when I no longer had feelings and emotions, when I was a workaholic imbued with the tasks entrusted to me, a hard rock, incapable of showing any emotions. It burst into my life like a bolt from the blue, turned it all upside down, shattered the walls I had built around my soul to protect it from hurt.
– You came out the blue on the rainy night, no lie. I'll tell you how I almost died, while you're bringing me back to life. — I sang softly into his ear. He joined me as if he understood exactly how I felt. This song was perfect for us, it was "ours".
– I just wanna live in this moment forever. 'Cause I'm afraid that living couldn't get any better. Started giving up on the word "forever" until you gave up heaven so we could be together.
Those words, his voice, my voice and our lives intertwined... What more could I want?
— I love you, my baby angel ... — I whispered again, looking into his eyes, they were so beautiful, full of energy and life, laughing and happy. I've been waiting for it for almost 30 years, but only now I know it was worth it. It became for me a perfect way to show the meaning of the quote "Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations". I can't count how many times I sat alone in the darkness of my room, how many times I lost faith and hope that something good would happen to me... two years ago I lost one of my closest friends, I received threats from P'Sky, viewers wrote me hateful and contemptuous comments, and Saint fans blamed me for the failure of our series together, I never imagined that a day like today would come for me when I would be sitting in the kitchen of my own house with the person I love and who loves me in front of me, preparing together for casting for new roles. angry and who, in addition, with his sincere, full of kindness and love heart will be able to gather thousands of loyal fans around him.
I remembered sitting on the floor of my room two years ago, torturing myself by watching our show over and over and thinking about what I had done wrong. My room was a mess, with wine bottles lying around me, plates of untouched food on my desk, and I was sitting there with dirty, sweaty clothes, greasy hair, and red and puffy eyes from crying.
How much has changed!
If I had given up then... Or rather, if Max had let me... I dread to think how much I would have lost! I would never have met New, never loved him, and never fallen in love with him. With him I can be myself, he gives me the freedom I need so much, he is like a breath of fresh air. My Angel, My Little New. Nong New, hia New... whatever, as long as it's mine, I'm not going to share it with anyone. And I don't want him to want to share me with anyone. I want to be his only one, I want to be someone special to him.
And P'Aof keep calling us Phi-Nong, I don't mind, it's even funny. P'Aof, the complete and total opposite of P'Sky, I don't even know how P'Sky hired him! But it's better for us. P'Aof is demanding but much friendlier.
— I love you too, but why are you telling me this now? — He asked. He saw my tears and wiped them away with his own hand.
— Because I'm very proud of you. What you said... You're right, we have to believe that it will help people like us. Perhaps AlphaTauri came to the same conclusion? After all, they own both LGBT drivers.
– But AlphaTauri is not our main sponsor.
— Not? Who then?
— Their main team, RedBull.
– Red Bull? The energy drink factory? How come? Didn't it happen that RedBull fired their driver, Gasman, or something?
– Uhm. You didn't know? And Gasly, not Gasman. — He corrected me automatically. He let me out of his arms, and this time we managed to unpack everything I'd bought, which was quite a lot, after all, I didn't want Nu to ever go hungry. Or hangry, that is, angry+hungry.
— No... you know I'm not a Formula 1 fan. — I winced, suddenly realizing how much I still have to learn. But I was able to do anything for Nu, for my urchin. For this cute elf with a heart of gold.
— Oh, then we have to make up for it! How are we supposed to play F1 drivers if we don't know anything about them?! Wait, maybe I'll find a race to watch.
Not more than ten minutes later, we settled comfortably on the couch, covering ourselves with blankets. On a low table we set a laptop and drinks and snacks. Today we had nothing better to do, just waiting for the script fragments with the scenes that we were supposed to play at the casting. Even though our manager said we would definitely get the parts because someone important had asked for us, we still preferred to rehearse everything as soon as the time was right (that is, when we got our copies of the script).
Nu pressed the play button, and the same image appeared on the TV screen in front of us as on the laptop screen. It quickly turned out that the commentary for the race was in English, but it didn't bother us at all. If I didn't understand something, Nu explained it to me. I was learning English, but that was still one of my weaknesses, just something in my mind was blocking me from learning properly.
The more I watched it, the more it drew me in. I wasn't a bit surprised when Nu explained what I didn't know, and I didn't know anything at first! I recognized one name: Hamilton, but despite my best efforts, I couldn't remember where I knew it or where I had heard it.
– Pierre is driving the black and white one with the number 10 – He explained to me calmly. – Yuki is not on the grid yet, he will come a few months later in the new season.
— Wait... How do you know so much about this? — I eyed him carefully as I stopped drinking my Coke through the straw from the large ice cube mug.
— Whoops! — He grinned playfully, reminding me of one of the emojis.
— Say it! – I ordered.
— So... I've been chatting a bit about it with Annie, the autor of this story. — He admitted. He looked like he felt guilty. Sadness gripped my throat. I didn't want him to ever feel this way, and certainly not because of me. He should trust me, he should know that he can do whatever comes to his mind... Again I was angry with myself for having made this happen.
— New... Why are you so sad?
— I don't know, just like that. — He threw up his arms.
— New, honey, you can talk to whoever you want. I would like you to feel good, comfortable and safe with me. I will not restrict your freedom, and if I ever do, even by accident, admonish me. — I leaned towards him and leaned him hard. In the background, I heard the commentator's voice announcing that a driver named Pierre Gasly had won his first ever race.