Quick A/N:
My birthday is today, so I decided to do a birthday special. It's not an x Reader or anything like that, it's just me and the other Assassin's Creed protagonists celebrating my birthday (think of the mini conversations at the beginning and end of each oneshot, but in oneshot form). Enjoy!
-Ash
♡ღ∞•∞ღ♡
I wake up at 8am, trying my best not to fall back asleep into the king sized bed. I had barely slept at all, tossing and turning all night as well as waking up at 2am then falling back asleep. I hear a knock at the door and yell "Come in!"
Everyone piles into my large room and yells, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASH!"
"Who's cooking?" I ask. "Because it better not be Jacob."
"Hey!" the 5'6 guy with the top hat whines.
Ignoring her twin's mini temper tantrum, Evie says, "Altaïr's cooking. He says he'll make Polish breakfast for everyone."
Ezio quickly interjects and says, "We have to go help him actually. See you downstairs, Ash."
Mini timeskip
After I get ready for the day, I head for the dining room. I see a ridiculous amount of Polish food. Nalyśniki (Polish crepes), kasza manna (semolina porridge), okragly chleb kartoflany (potato bread), racuchy z jabłkam (Polish apple pancakes), raspberry pączki (Polish donuts with raspberry filling), cottage cheese and potato pierogies, farmer's cheese on toasted potato bread and a platter of kielbasa, kabanos and Polish cheese. There was also kompot (Polish thick fruit sauce, made by boiling any fruit on hand in cheesecloth), plum butter, regular butter and assorted fruits.
I grab plates and utensils for everyone and set the table, then sit down and wait.
Sure enough, everyone is nearly running for the food. Edward and Eivor sit to my right and my left and each grab a slice of regular potato bread. "I don't see why we couldn't have a Viking feast," Eivor complains as they (A/N: I'll use any pronouns for Eivor because it's just simpler than using male or female Eivor or having both) dig in to their bread. "Really?" I say. "You look to be enjoying that bread, Eivor."
"So Ash," Ezio says. "Why aren't you eating anything?"
I get pulled out of my thoughts and say, "Sorry, I zoned out."
"ADHD?" Evie asks.
"Y-yeah," I reply. "That and I don't usually eat breakfast. I'll try to eat some of this though."
I grab some cottage cheese pierogies and slice of plain potato bread. Putting the pierogies on top of the bread, I take a bite into it and the taste surprises me. "Thanks for the food, Altaïr!" I say while grabbing a pancake and drizzling some kompot on it.
Altaïr gives me a small smile, which was his way of saying, you're welcome. "Ash," Connor says.
"Yeah?"
"How do people have kids?"
I almost choke on my food and everyone else looks at Connor with a dumbstruck look on their faces. "Well you see Connor-" Ezio says before I cut him off. "Ezio come on, don't tell him right now, we're eating!"
"You mean you actually want Connor to know Ash?" Edward asked.
"Yes and no," I reply. "Yes because he's like 21 so he should know already and no because he's going to be traumatized."
Edward shrugs and goes back to eating before he realizes something. "Where's my rum?"
"Goddammit Edward," I say. "It's like 9am, no alcohol before noon."
"You think I care?" he retorts. "I need my rum, I don't fucking care what time it is."
"You know what?" I say. "If we're eating Polish food, why don't you pour yourself a shot of Żubrówka?"
"You mean that Polish bison grass vodka?" Jacob asks.
"Yeah, exactly." I reply.
"I've had it," Ezio says. "Way better than Stolichnaya vodka."
"Isn't Stolichnaya Polish?" Arno asks.
I wheeze, nearly choking on my food yet again. "No Arno," Evie says. "Stolichnaya is Russian. In fact, Poland produces the most vodka globally, not Russia."
"Yeah, we didn't need to hear a mouthful of that at 9am Evie," Jacob says while drizzling kompot on his porridge. "We get it, you know everything, everyone else is dumb."
I hear the twins argue, but ignore them to eat.
"So Ash," Shay says over the now screaming match that was going on at the table. "What are we going to do today?"
I take a bite of my bread and reply with, "Maybe head to Mandarin, go out for a trip on the Jackdaw, have fun, get presents, that sort of thing."
"Oi!" Edward says. "No one said we were going to use my ship for Ash's birthday festivities!"
"Chill out Edward," Haytham says. "It's their birthday, let them do what they want."
"Fine," he grumbles. "But Ash, when we get back, we're having a drinking contest."
"Wait, what?" I say.
Timeskip to the restaurant brought to you by Cesare Borgia falling off a cliff-
I grab some stuff off the buffet table and sit down to Jacob asking if there was any beer, Evie trying to tell him getting drunk in public would probably get him a misdemeanor charge, Connor traumatized because of the talk Ezio had with him after breakfast, Edward attempting to order alcohol but Haytham is stopping him, Shay just existing, Ezio flirting with every waitress around, Arno trying to hide the fact that he's fangirling over Jacob but is really bad at hiding it and other general chaos.
I try to eat in peace next to Arno, who's stopped eating and is just getting his daily fix of Jacob eye candy. "Why don't you just tell him you like him already?" I whisper to him, which makes him nearly jump a few inches into the air out of surprise. "I don't know if he likes guys though." he whispers back.
"Dude, Jacob's a literal confirmed bisexual, just tell him already."
"...Later." Arno whispers.
Another timeskip because your author is sleep deprived as fuck and can't even sleep without waking up at like 4-6am when their alarm's set for 7am at this point-
I look out onto the water while we take the Jackdaw for a spin. Arno comes up next to me and asks, "How do I tell him?"
"I don't know, tell him bluntly? I mean he probably knows with your sloppy job of hiding your crush on him." I reply.
"Thanks for the kind words Ash." Arno mutters sarcastically. "I mean, I'm calling it like I see it. Anyway, you should totally tell him now so you won't regret not telling him later down the line when he has a significant other."
Arno leaves, presumably to confess to Jacob, so I decide to get the best view from the steering wheel. "Hey Edward," I say as I look down the railing onto the deck. "What's going on?" he asks.
"Arno's finally going to confess to Jacob."
"Holy shit," Edward says. "Finally?"
I nod and reply, "Finally."
"I have to watch this."
I see Arno nervously telling Jacob and it looked like Jacob was going to reject him, but he doesn't and instead they kiss.
"Well," Edward says. "Achievement unlocked: Successful Wingman."
"Did you seriously make that up on the spot?" I ask.
"Hey, Arno approached you asking for advice, you gave it to him and it worked. I call that being a successful wingman." Edward replies.
I shrug and go down to talk to Arno. "Finally," I say as I reach him. Arno looked really happy with himself and he replied with, "Thanks for helping me Ash. I really appreciate it."
Timeskip because I am really lazy and I don't want to write a 2.1k word oneshot again-
I open my presents one by one, waiting to see what I got.
From Altaïr, the entire Witcher book series because he knows that I love the show and the games (A/N: Never played the games, but I watched season 1 of the show and I really want to watch season 2 because I haven't had the time to yet), sketchbooks, a baby cactus plant and a lavender sprig in glass.
From Ezio, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, sketchbooks, a notebook and an Undertale T-shirt.
From Connor, earrings with real eagle feathers, sketchbooks, a box of 20 assorted Timbits and paint.
From Edward, a book on sailing, sketchbooks, lamb gyros and Copic markers.
From Shay, a book on witchcraft, a book on Celtic paganism, sketchbooks and more mechanical pencils.
From Arno, a thank you card for being his advisor on confessing to Jacob, a nonbinary and pansexual pride flag, a book on how to start revolutions and impose lasting change and sketchbooks.
From Evie and Jacob, a dull bladed axe to hang in a room, sketchbooks, a book on ADHD and computer stickers.
From Bayek, two tickets to an axe throwing place, sketchbooks, a fidget ring, an easel and canvases.
From Kassandra, The Iliad, The Odyssey, Hesiod's Theogony and sketchbooks.
From Eivor, a book on Norse paganism, sketchbooks, a book on Norse witchcraft spells and herbs for mentioned witchcraft.
"Holy shit," I say. "This is a lot."
"Wait! We forgot the cake!" Kassandra says, practically rushing to get it.
Timeskip because I'm tired and I have other stories to catch up on-
Everybody sits down for a binging of a few Witcher episodes before going to bed. I have all my stuff to carry but I get there in time, put them in a cabinet, then proceed to plop on my bed and watch TikTok for a while.
♡ღ∞•∞ღ♡
As you can probably tell, this was started a couple days in advance of my birthday because there was no way I was going to get it done today. So you might spot some inconsistencies here and there, but that's because I was writing it really fast and not paying attention to the text.
Hope you enjoyed this special (I'll try to do another one for Christmas).
-Ash