Abu Dhabi race week is making me so emotional and it's only Friday 💀 Anyway, posting this photo here because all of them going to dinner is just adorable!
Enjoy!
*****
March 7, 2025 - Bahrain
A part of the contract I had signed with Charles was for me to attend a set of Formula One events. The plan was to keep the relationship going just until the summer break and then we'll make an announcement about a mutual break up before the season started once again. There were twelve races during the first half of the season and I was required to attend half of it. The number was originally eight races, but I argued that my job wouldn't allow me to travel that much. I'd be travelling for some cases for the UN as well.
Charles and I arrived at Bahrain last night for the pre-season testing, our entrance to the airport being the first official public appearance. It was just some simple hand holding– nothing extravagant since there weren't that much fans to greet us. I still haven't told him about my family since I've been putting it off, but now that we were about to face the paddock, I knew I had to be open with him. Besides, I rarely saw him before leaving Monaco since he was busy driving back and forth to Maranello.
We had connecting rooms so when I heard him shuffling on his end of the door, I rapped my knuckles against it twice, only waiting for a few seconds before he opened it. He was dressed in a red Ferrari shirt which was completely different from all the casual clothes I've seen him in.
"Good morning." He grumbled before turning around and heading for the small table which held some food. My room had the same kind and I had already finished it while I had a quick phone call with Gabby.
I raised an eyebrow at his back before stepping into the room, realizing that the state of his unmade bed and the disheveled hair was a sign that he wasn't a morning person.
"Are you even awake?" I asked as I sat down opposite of him.
He chugged down the cup of coffee in front of him before wiping his mouth with a napkin. "I am now." He said and I shook my head at him. "What can I do for you, Nova?"
I resisted rolling my eyes as he once again used his chosen nickname for me. We just had an argument during the flight about it with me demanding him to stop calling me Nova and him continuously refusing. "Before we feed ourselves to the sharks," I began and he chuckled at my chosen words. "I need to tell you some things." He leaned back and gestured for me to continue, ready to listen. Underneath the table, I was fiddling with my fingers, cursing myself for forgetting my headphones that were back in my room. "Can I borrow your airpods again?" I asked and his lips turned down into a frown, knowing how I only used music whenever I was on the brink of a panic attack. "It's just a precaution."
Charles stood up and took his airpods from his bag, passing it to me along with his phone that was already open, his Spotify account ready for me to go through. I picked a random song which turned out to be Italian and placed one airpod in my ear as he sat back down. Before beginning, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. The images quickly swam to the surface and I fought with every fiber of my being that I would not let it get to me.
My eyes opened when I felt something nudge my foot and I looked down to see one of Charles' ankles hooked around mine. His face was neutral, as if he wasn't doing anything under the table, and I'm grateful that he chose not to make a big deal out of it. It was a small gesture, but enough to push me to talk.
He listened intently the entire time, not uttering a single word. During the parts of the story where I found my family inside the house, I had to take a few minutes to myself and this was when Charles would hook his ankle around mine. When he'd see that I was okay again, he'd pull it back. I wasn't use to someone just sitting there and hearing me, with the exception of my professional life. My parents always but in with their own comments while Gabby and my sister would make sounds of exclamations equivalent to their reactions.
His silence helped because I was able to go through the story uninterrupted. I gave him the rundown, not including the personal breakdowns and how I scrubbed the blood off of my skin so hard that scratches appeared on my skin. He didn't need to know about that.
"How do you want me?" Were the first words he said when I finished.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you need me to be the comforting type or the won't talk about it type?" He asked and I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until I sighed in relief. No one's ever asked me that. They just assumed that I needed them to be there for me, be my shoulder to lean on, and tell me that everything was okay. Deep inside, I wanted to go back to being normal without the looks of pity being sent my way.
"The latter." I said and he nodded his head, eyes analyzing me as if he was absorbing everything I just told him. "What are you thinking right now?"
"I don't think my thoughts would change anything."
"They won't but I still want to hear them." I said and he looked at me with an amused look in his eyes. Charles stood up and moved his chair so that he sitting right across from me, no table in between us. Before I could even comprehend what he was doing, his hands gripped the sides of my chair and pulled me closer to him, his legs wide open and caging me in. He didn't remove his arms when there was only a few inches between us which left me caged inside his arms as well.
Charles' green eyes roamed every inch of my face momentarily distracting me before I felt one of his fingers draw small circles on the side of my thigh. "Don't let this get to your head." He said and I merely inclined my head to the side before he spoke up again. "But you're very brave, Nadia." My lips opened to make a comment about how he used my real name but he shook his head at me. "There are people out there who would not have survived what you went through. I know I wouldn't, yet here you are, still standing. I made a promise to you that I would protect your secret and I'm not the type of person who breaks the promises he makes. My word is as good as gold."
Something clicked inside of me. I don't know why his words have such an effect on me when I've mastered filtering the words I hear and are directed at me. I'm scared that in the future, Charles will have this kind of hold on me that I won't be able to let go of yet I also find myself seeking for the escape he so openly offers.
The next thing I know, my lips are crashing against his, both of my hands cupping his cheeks as his moved to hold me steady by the waist. The angle of me standing up was too high with him sitting down on the chair so one of his hands moved to my right thigh and moved it over to the outside of his leg, the other following soon after.
Every touch felt like a burn, like his skin caused fire to flow through my veins and spread throughout my body. With others, they would say being this intimate with someone would feel like fire and ice–one emitted warmth while the other battled it with the cold. It's how opposites attract, being pulled by the imaginary magnet in between them.
With Charles and I, however, it wasn't like that. We were the same. I had my own secrets and I knew he had his. Everybody did. We were both made of fire, two flames dancing around one another and growing stronger with every second spent intertwined. There is a fire within us and another in between. It's scary as fuck for me to have these thoughts as he stood up from the chair, bringing me with him as we moved to the direction of the bed, but I found myself not giving a damn.
All of my focus went to the man in front of me and nothing else.
*****
The paddock was definitely not what I expected it to be. I imagined it to be like a red carpet where the drivers would be surrounded by bodyguards, ignoring every inquiry for an interview or request for an autograph. There was the usual security but none of them followed people around. I could see some journalists walking along the wide pathway, holding microphones with people holding cameras following them.
Charles and I walked in together, hand in hand, with his trainer, Andrea, on his other side. He had a pair of sunglasses over his eyes as well and gave me a different pair with the RayBan logo on it. My eyes roamed the paddock, taking note of all the team names and their logos. I was only aware of the teams with the big names like Ferrari, Mercedes, Aston Martin, and McLaren, being the brands who's sports cars I'd usually see around Monaco.
"Mate!" Someone called and from beside me, Charles turned his head to the right. My eyes followed him and I saw a guy a little taller than Charles who was wearing a navy blue cap over his head and a matching race suit with the words Red Bull on it.
Charles smiled before pulling me over to where the guy was. They did the usual thing where they'd clap their hands together and give each other a pat on the back. "How have you been?" Charles asked him and I watched the interaction between the two intently.
They looked like they were the same age and definitely got along really well. This guy had an accent to him as well but it wasn't American nor English. His blue eyes snapped to me after answering Charles question. "Who's this?"
"This is Nadia Kaplan." Charles introduced, pulling me closer to him. I raised an eyebrow at his behavior but he only smiled at me in return.
"Nice to meet you...?" I drifted off, not knowing what to call him.
"Max." He smiled, shaking my hand before letting it go and giving Charles a teasing look. "So, are you the one he's been calling Nova?"
Both of my eyebrows raised in surprise as I smirked at Charles, his eyes forming into a glare as he directed it towards Max who on the other hand only grinned widely. "You've been talking about me?" I asked, completely on board with Max on the teasing. "How sweet."
"What do you expect, love? You're something else." He replied, leaning forward to give me a kiss on the cheek. To other people, it would've seemed sweet but I knew he was only going with the flow of our act. Kudos to him for using a term of endearment because we never talked about that.
"Alright, no need to rub it in my face that I'm single." Max said which made Charles laugh while I showed him a small smile. "I'll see you in the track, yeah?"
Charles nodded his head and we continued on with our way to the Ferrari motorhome. "Are all the other drivers like him or should I expect some divas?" I asked when we were out of earshot.
Charles chuckled as he loosened his hold on me but soon enough, his hand moved back to hold mine. "There are a few but I don't interact with them that much." We didn't run into anymore drivers on our way to the motorhome but Charles did meet his previous team principal, Fred Vasseur, and introduced me as well. The two talked in French and despite only exchanging a few words with him, he seemed kind and very nice.
He kept on greeting the employees in Italian when we got to the motorhome, climbing up a set of stairs before entering through a door which had the number 16 on it. Charles let go of my hand as he closed the door behind him and rifled through the closet, not bothering to turn around before removing his shirt and bringing out red clothing.
The Monaco flag was hanging on the wall across the red sofa. The space wasn't that big and was mostly filled with equipment as well as his helmets for the race. "What are these for?" I asked him, walking towards the line of red caps placed on the table.
His gaze turned to where I was as he removed his jeans to put on the matching bottoms before grabbing his race suit. "Merch." He replied and I nodded my head, picking up one cap and looking it over. It had the Ferrari logo as well as his driver number. I heard a zipper sound through the room and before I knew it, Charles was standing behind me, looking over my shoulder. "Want me to sign one for you?" He joked and I playfully nudged his ribs with my elbow before turning around.
"What makes you think I'm a fan?" I asked, placing the cap over his head with the portion holding the visor on the other side.
"Well, fans usually cheer for their favorite driver." He said, looking at me with a familiar glint in his eyes. "And I seem to remember you saying my name repeatedly just a few hours ago."
"I wasn't cheering, though." I answered back, holding my chin up as I challenged him and Charles smirked.
"No, you weren't." His lips brushed against mine but before he could close the distance, a knock came from the door.
"Charles! Tempo di andare!" [Time to go!] Andrea's voice called over the door and Charles sighed before stepping away from me.
"Esco tra un minuto!" [I'll be out in a minute!] Charles replied before meeting my eyes. He took off the cap I placed on his head and moved it over to mine, making sure the strap wasn't too tight. "It's showtime."
I felt cameras on me the entire time. Charles informed me that this would be televised all around the world which was why his media team thought it was the perfect way to launch our relationship to the public. Andrea would talk to me from time to time as well as a few mechanics who would smile and offer a ciao and I did the same. Only a few people knew about our arrangement here in Ferrari and that was composed of Andrea, his media team, manager, and team principal. I've only met one other person on his media team but as for the others, I have yet to see them.
"Charlie's girl?" A voice from my right asked and I turned my head to see the other driver of Ferrari– Carlos Sainz.
"You call Charles Charlie?" I couldn't help but snort because Charlie sounds like the name of someone who's down to earth and not prone to making questionable decisions.
Carlos smiled, running a hand through his jet black hair. "He's like a little brother so I thought Charlie fit well." He winked and I smiled in return. "I'm Carlos, by the way."
"Nadia." I replied. Carlos unzipped his race suit and tied it by his waist, taking a sip from a water bottle that his trainer gave him.
"How's your first day on the paddock?" Carlos kept me company until he had to get back into the car. I watched Charles through the screen placed in the garage and whenever I didn't understand what was going on, I'd either ask Andrea or one of the mechanics. I was never really the shy type especially when it came to knowing about new things.
When Charles left the track, I took a photo of the garage and the screen showing the cars to send to Gabby who had been asking me nonstop about how it was.
Gabby: Damn
I'm not a fan of F1 but holy shit those cars look hot
The drivers too, probably
Nadia: Are you going to do your collect and select thing here?
Please don't
Gabby: No promises 😘
I heard a camera click and I looked up to see Charles pointing his phone at me. When he saw my face, he smiled and walked towards me while he tapped on his phone.
"Social media." He said, before posting it on Instagram.
I nodded my head, knowing it was a part of our deal. It was mostly his job since I only had Facebook. They tried to convince me to make an Instagram account but I refused, telling them that I had no plan of doing so.
"I'm so glad I'm not on social media." I said as he scrolled through his account, shoulder brushing against mine. He moved closer when he placed his left hand on the counter I was leaning against. "What are you doing?" I whispered when he moved his hand to my other shoulder.
"Camera, Nova." He quietly said, and I subtly moved my eyes around the garage to see Ferrari's social media team filming us.
As I looked away, I bit my lip, hoping that the day all of this is over with comes near. Being under the spotlight was not for me.
*****
I feel like this book is going to very long 👀
✧Reese✧