CASSIUS's POV
These past few days really have been SHIT. Starting with the whole Ayesha thing, well
it is the only thing that's been bugging me. I honestly hate my self for being such a dick to her.
I fumbled that HEAVY for some Greyhound deal cause i thought she wasn't much of a loss but i'm going insane right now. Like ian know i was that attached to her.
I mean if i was her i'd react the same way she did to be fair especially after i told her that we weren't actually dating. The fuck was i even drinking that night!? Looking back i'm starting to see how much of an idiot i had been. I really felt shitty seeing her almost cry in front of me.
It really pained me being the cause of those tears so when i got home i called and called her worried that something had happened to her but my calls weren't being answered. When she finally picked up and i heard that disrespectful ass nigga speak on my girls phone and i was beyond upset. Like who the fuck was this clown she was with. Ayesha is MY girl.
I got so angry at the shit he said, talking about putting his filthy self in my Ayesha. It made me realize what a HUGE mistake i had made. I couldn't believe and i didn't want to believe that she had moved on so quick. Or maybe she had had a side mans besides me.
Nevertheless when the call got ended by that clown I wanted to cuss her out on text but my messages weren't going through. I tried calling back but my calls weren't even going through too. She had blocked a nigga. Maybe she was actually fucking someone else.
I got so angry and decided to revenge a little and post a picture i took with Ivy at the club to purposely push her buttons. After I noticed everyone had said something about the pic except for her I got tired of playing these games and when i went to send her a dm telling her to unblock me so that we can talk about this bullshit I noticed she has blocked me on all sites.
If i only knew her email address i would blow her up on that but i didn't and i couldn't go to her crib because of Chrissy. Home girl really looked like she was about to jump me and strangle me at the club.
Her blocking me really worsened my anger cause she trying to be petty and not talk so i left her like that since she wanna be childish and she's got a new man now so whatever. Fuck her and that goofy nigga.
I'm really trying to not think about this girl since it's clear she's fucking someone else already and she blocked me but it's really hard not to. Ayesha's pushing me honestly and i ain't never cared this much about any girl, especially after that call. I know I fucked up but damn.
The thought of her with someone else just makes me sick but it can't be worse than the thought of probably never seeing or talking to her again. I've been insanely missing her but my bruised ego just won't allow me to go to her house and tell her face to face. I even thought about going to her school but i decided not to because i didn't want to cause a scene which might make her get in trouble or something. I don't even know how Geezy feels about the whole thing but we haven't spoken about it. I've never had a girl make me feel like this before and I don't know how to handle these typa situations.
Another thing that's been on my fucking nerves lately is Ivy. This girl actually thinks me and her are together even when I have made it crystal clear that we aren't. Real DELULU.
She comes to my house uninvited, takes unnecessary pictures and selfies of the both of us to post on our accounts since she's got control over it now and this one time she actually sent herself roses and made it seem as if I had sent them. Commenting as me on her own post. Weird.
I do have to admit the whole me and her being fake together really is working, well for her at least. My followers and hers both have increased in the past week which is good for her since she's an IG model but i don't give a damn about my socials. I only care about Greyhound and so far there ain't shit happening. She's telling me to be patient but i feel like her and her publicist are playing and using me. I guess more followers would equal to a bigger audience for my music when I release it.
I then hear a knock from the door as i was making a sandwich in the kitchen and go answer it. It's just Ivy here to bug me. I told this girl to call before she just shows up at my house but she knows if she does that i'd tell her i'm not available.
"How many times i gotta tell you to call first before you just show up?," i ask with a blank expression on my face leaning by my door.
"It's good to see you too," she says letting herself in. I swear this girl.
"What's up?," she asks me sitting on the couch and putting her bag on the table.
"i should be asking you that," i say closing the door and sitting on the other couch.
"We'll i came to update you about our progress so far, you haven't been in your instagram account?," she asks getting excited.
"Nah, told you i don't care about all that," i say to her
"Weellllll, your followers have gone from 5k to 10k! You got up with like 5 000 followers all because of meee, you're welcome!," she screams all excited.
"Oh, that's nice," i reply opening my phone to text if Geezy is around so that we can go to the studio, i hadn't been with Geezy since the whole thing so i'm hoping this won't be awkward.
"Nice? Cassius come on i need more than just nice baby, we should celebrate," she says seductively getting up from her couch and walking towards me. She parts my legs and tries to sit onto my lap but i stand up.
"Ivy you can't keep doing this, i told before we're no longer like that and you need to stop it's getting embarrassing now," I say to her.
"Come on Cassius, what's the problem now," she says moving closer to me holding my hands and placing them on her tits.
She's been trying to have sex with me but honestly after Ayesha I don't think I can have sex with anyone else, I don't know why. I tried with Ivy but thoughts of Ayesha and her body slid into my mind and i don't think that would be fair for me to have sex with her and think about someone else. I then get a text from Geezy telling me his around so I can pull up at the school.
"I have to go aight," I say grabbing my keys that were on my table. I just wear my blue hoody on top of the black basket ball shorts i was wearing and some slides.
"Go where? To that bitch Ayesha's place," she says rolling her.
"You know what Ivy, I'm getting kinda annoyed with your stank ass attitude... I think we should stop seeing each other," I say looking in my dining room mirror trying to not get furious by what she just said.
If anyone's a bitch between her and Ayesha it's definitely her. How dare she talks about my girl like that.
"Don't be stupid Cassius, how are we going to be a couples if we don't see each other," she says coming behind me and looking at herself too in the mirror and fixing her lip gloss.
"Yeah i don't wanna do all that shit anymore Ivy so can you please leave and log out of my Instagram," I say getting more annoyed
"So you wanna use me and go to your little classless whore, she don't even fucking want you Cassius open your eyes!,"
"The fuck did you just call her!?," i shout at her whilst holding her arms with so much anger.
"Cassius you're hurting me," she squirms
"Get the fuck out of my house before I do something imma regret," i say calmly letting go of her arms and trying to calm down.
She roles her eyes and get her bag then marches out banging the door behind her. I don't care about her little tantrum and definitely her follower bullshit. It doesn't matter what me and Ayesha are going through I just couldn't let her speak about her like that.
After waiting for Ivys car to get out of my driveway I calm myself down and head to the studio. I get there and find Geezy waiting for me for me at his studio door on his phone. He sees me aiming towards him and flashes me a smile putting his phone away.
"Yo yo," i say shaking his hand and giving him a hug
"What's up bro," he replies returning the hug
"Man I haven't seen you in a long time," i say as he opens the door to the studio
"School is up my ass man," he says sitting down on his famous chair and switches on his laptop. I know that's not the reason why we haven't seen each other as much as we used to.
"Don't lie man it's aight, i understand she's your friend too and even if she wasn't i understand what i did was not okay at all regardless," i say sitting down too
"It's not like i'm taking sides, i'm just tryna keep my distance away from the drama, have y'all spoken?," he asks
"She blocked me but even if she hadn't still she's got a man," i reply rolling my eyes, annoyed by saying those words. The only man she should be with is me.
"Hold up, hold up, don't you have a girl already, cause you're being hypocritical right now," he says diverting his attention from his laptop to me
"How many times i gotta say this, she's not my girl bro...it was for publicity and I told y'all that," i say getting angry and annoyed all over again
"Damn, I don't know about that or any of this shit bro i just wanna make music with my boy so can we do that?" he asks making me chuckle and nod my head.
Geezy and i have a dope session and honestly i really missed my boy. At least i've got my music to get me on Greyhounds radar instead of Ivys shit plan.
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AYESHA's POV
The next morning I wake up and go to work. I can't stop thinking about what Nate asked me. Fuck. I shouldn't have fucked him. I don't think i have feelings for Nate, what i felt was lust and frustration from the whole Cassius situation. I actually feel bad for using him even though the sex was amazing it only made me miss Cassius more. Toxic. I know.
I should tell him that i can't go back with him. I can't go through all that again even though i know Nate has changed and become the person i wanted last year but i've changed too.
"Hello! Earth to Ayesha!," shouts Geezy snapping me out of my thoughts waving his drumstick in my face. "What's up with you today, you keep on zoning out?"
"Oh my bad... It's just that this Nate thing is driving me crazy, like i feel so shitty for leading him on."
Geezy and I are on our lunch break in the cafeteria. I had told him earlier on in the morning about the whole Nate story and what he had said to me last night. Geezy has been really quiet and not into the drama going on with me and these men and i get that. He distances himself from drama especially if it's between two of his friends but he listens and that's enough for me.
"Look, just don't think about it too much and make sure the decision you're going to make is for you and not him," he says wiping his mouth with a paper towel.
"And also me because I don't want you to leave me in this place alone," he adds
I laugh and stand up to clear the table with him before going to our last class of the day. The day ends and I wait for my Uber by the school. I then see Chrissys car pulling up.
"Come on bitch! Get in!," she shouts. I laugh and jump in. Im surprised she's here alone, no Mike in sight. Might as well stop requesting for Ubers with this many people coming to pick me up.
"What are you doing here!? Thought you'd be spending the day with Mike" I ask getting in the car.
"I'm always spending the day with Mike but right now I really miss my best friend so I'm taking her out for dinner!" she yells excited. "And the boys went to go look for some apartments," she says putting her seatbelt on
Apartments? Oh for Mike. Lucky Chris, she doesn't have to make a decision to go back or stay for Mike. And she's got a man that adores her unlike me and my messy non-existent love life. But I'm not going to spend the night thinking about that, tonight is about Chrissy and I. She's right, we haven't been spending time together since the boys came over.
She starts the engine and in no time we arrive at McFlurries, our favorite diner. We get in and seat on our usual booth by the window and wait for the waitress to come take our order. We chat a little about nothing before the waitress comes and takes our orders.
"So when we're you going to tell me that Nate asked you to go back with him?" she asks me before taking a bite out of her burger.
I slightly choke on my shake, shocked that she knew because i hadn't had the chance to tell her yet. Nate probably told Mike who then told Chrissy about it. "and don't start with the I was going to tell you stuff because I know you were blah blah blah, did you guys have sex again?," she asks narrowing her eyes.
"Fuck, YES! And i feel so bad about it Chrissy! I used this man as a rebound and now he wants to start over with me and him together," i say to her sinking in the booth.
"Girl sit the fuck up okay, come on it's not the end of the world aight, you were hurt and confused and he was just there and you found familiarity and a safe space in him when trying new people didn't work out," she says trying to look into my eyes as i try to avoid eye contact feeling guilty.
"But i liked the new people Chrissy, like a lot and it sucks that the new people didn't work out," I say playing with my fry. She looks at me and sighs.
"Babe i know what that fucking ass wipe of a man did sucked and what he said wasn't cool but you don't have to feel bad for trying to feel something else other than feeling bad, yes sure fucking Nate wasn't the best idea but at least it made you feel good and distracted a little,in the moment that is" she says
"Look at you trying to make me feel better about my slutty tendencies," i say laughing
"i meannnn... the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone...we'll unless that someone is your toxic ex," she says laughing with me too.
"You're not considering on going with him are you though?," she asks taking another bite of her burger.
"Of course not Chris i can never leave you or quit my music for him ever again...I just feel really shitty for leading him on and having sex with him, I mean I STARTED IT," I say palming my face. I then get a text from Geezy telling me he has a proposal he wants to talk to me about tomorrow and i just text back a thumbs up.
"And what about Cassius?," she asks. I just look up from my plate and stare at her and back at my plate.
"I know you liked him babe, like really liked him and just pretending like he didn't hurt you won't fix anything...especially going back to what feels familiar and safe like Nate. Just don't make a decision you'll regret just because of a rebound... you still have your own music dreams and you love living in the city remember that,"
I start thinking about what she said and she's right, about all of it.I was pretending like Cassius was not a complete let down and Nate feels like a safe but definitely not best the option for me right now.
I hadn't fully thought about what happened with Cassius. He hadn't texted, called, reached out or anything of that sort since that night and that sucks. Damn. He really did just pass through, wasting my time and making me feel like he's into me. I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss him because I really do.
"No no no...Ayesha, I didn't mean to make you cry...don't do that," she says coming to my side of the booth and wiping tears that I hadn't noticed were coming out.
This is why I don't like dwelling on what happened between Cassius and I, I never really allowed myself to be depressed about it, Nate and school was always there to distract and so far that hasn't gotten me anywhere.
"Look you'll figure this out, you're smart as shit and whatever you do is going to be the right thing, but just make sure to put yourself first aight?," she says wiping my tears and hugging me.
"Your pussy gotta be that good to make a nigga like Nate wanna change huh?," she says smiling.
We both burst out laughing and I playfully push her as she stands up to go sit back down on her side of the booth. I really missed spending time with my girl and I'm glad we got to do this.
Chrissy and I arrive home and find Nate and Mike watching football. When I make eye contact with Nate his face lights up and I smile an awkward smile back at him.
"Come on baby, i wanna know about your apartment haunting and your day, let's go take a shower," says Chrissy hinting Mike to go with her.
"Babe come on, the game just star-,"
As Mike was about to finish Chrissy gives him a death stare and he stands up immediately following Chrissy to her room. I then sit on the couch next to Nate after i hear Chrissys door close.
"Hey," he says lowering the tv volume.
"Hey,"
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Currently listening to Session 33 and all i'm saying is Summer needs to get her heart broke cause i need another 😭
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