Aurora's eyes fell to Azriel's tight undershorts. Her eyes widened when she saw that he was certainly large and at attention. Her eyes shot back to his, which still hadn't moved lower than her throat.
"Tell me what to do," Azriel breathed out. Aurora swallowed, shaking her head.
"I don't know," she whispered. Azriel's eyes softened, and he took a step forward, out of his trousers.
"Tell me what you want me to do. This is your choice, Aurora. I'm at your mercy." His voice almost sounded like he was begging. Her throat went dry. She looked down at her body, now unsure if she wanted him to see it. She wasn't as filled out and curved as Elain or Gwyn. Her hips and ribs still showed, her skin deathly pale and her veins visible beneath. Her breasts were small, much smaller than the other females. She had nothing to offer him, nothing he would want. When she looked back at him, Azriel could see her discomfort. "Tell me to leave and I will."
"I don't want you to leave," she breathed out. His jaw clenched, eyes trailing along her collarbone and throat again. Aurora sucked in a deep breath through her teeth, hands running along the bare skin of her stomach. Azriel's head tipped back slightly, and she wished she could kiss his his lips, his throat, his chest. Would he want that? "You can look at me- all of me," she finally spoke. Azriel almost seemed relieved when his eyes fell to her bare body, tongue wetting his lips.
"Fuck," he muttered beneath his breath, and her heart raced faster. The smell of smoked citrus was overwhelming, her body beginning to burn and ache. Azriel seemed to notice, because his lashes fluttered and his lips parted in a groan. "Please," he whispered, and Aurora didn't know what he was asking for. Her breathing grew ragged, eyes falling to his abdomen. His abdomen was flexing with his breaths, the line of muscle on his hips leading her eyes to his clothed length. The next thing she knew, she was walking forward. Azriel didn't move, his eyes stayed on her face as she reached just a foot in front of him.
"Azriel," Aurora whispered, and his name on her tongue seemed to rip his breath from his chest. She rose her hand, sucking in a breath when her fingertips touched his bare chest. She was hesitant at first, barely grazing them along the tattoos. He swallowed hard, brows punched together as he watched her hand.
"Is this because you want it? Or is this because you're feeling a lot of different emotions today?" He asked her, turning his eyes to her face. Aurora flattened her palm to his chest, her bottom lip caught in her teeth. She met his eyes through her lashes as she ran her palm over his pectoral and to his shoulder.
"I want this," she responded in a hoarse voice, she hardly recognized it. His lashes fluttered and he rose his hand up, cupping her jaw. Her breath left when his thumb ran along the skin of her cheek. Azriel lowered his head and Aurora brought her hand to the back of his neck, running the tips of her fingers through his hair. She rose onto her toes, their lips inches apart. She felt his breath along her cheeks, her lips. She needed this.
Suddenly, Azriel stiffened. His eyes went harsh and he straightened. Aurora pulled her hand back quickly, hoping she hasn't done something wrong. His eyes closed and his head shook, hand falling from her face.
"I- Fuck, I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll bathe later," he spoke, turning and grabbing his pants from the floor. Aurora's lips parted, wishing she could call for him to stay, but he slipped out the door and shut it behind him.
Her breathing was still ragged, body still aching for him. Had he decided to stay with Gwyn? Did he understand how wrong she was to try and seduce him when he was committed to another? Aurora's hand rose to her throat, and she turned. The tub was draining again. She hurried to her towel and wrapped it around her body. Aurora didn't bother to grab her clothes as she went into the corridor and to her bedroom. Her back hit the door when it closed and she fell back, legs giving out.
Had she scared him away? Did she ruin the friendship that was beginning to grow between them? Aurora's brain twisted and whirled with questions. She pulled herself from the floor, tossing the towel and tugging on a sleeping gown. Once under the covers of her bed, Aurora wondered if Azriel was with Gwyn now. Had he gone to her to confess Aurora's wrongdoings? All Aurora felt was emptiness and guilt. She felt disgusted in herself for even trying that with Azriel when she knew Gwyn was his lover. Gwyn was a kind female, she would never have done something like this.
When the sun rose the next morning, Aurora dreaded leaving her bed. She didn't want to face Azriel at breakfast or training. Her stomach ached as she pulled on her leathers and left her room. Breath rushed out of her lungs when she realized Azriel wasn't at the table. She sat and forced down her breakfast, though her stomach was twisting with nausea and anxiety. When it was time to meet him at the ring, she trudged up the stairs. It was empty, he wasn't at the ring to train.
Aurora looked around, hoping she'd see him around a corner or possibly just coming up the stairs. In a rush of relief, Aurora lowered herself to the ground and began her stretching. As she reached the end, footsteps caught her attention. She looked behind her to see Rhysand approaching. Aurora scrambled to her feet and wiped the dirt from her leathers.
"I assume Azriel told you of your father?" He spoke lowly. Aurora nodded, swallowing hard. Rhysand looked over the city for a moment, the sun looking wrong upon the master of night.
"Do you have more news?" She asked, wondering why he had come to speak to her.
"No, not of your father or of Aldric. I assume Beron doesn't know about your existence, which is probably why you were hidden for so many years. It does not explain the torture you were put through, nothing does, but it explains their need to hide you from the world," Rhysand explained, his hands moving into his pockets. Aurora nodded as she shifted on her feet.
"May I ask why you've visited me today?" She asked, not wanting to pressure him but wanting to hear what he wished to say. Rhysand rose a brow as he scanned the training ring. He seemed intimidating in this moment, Aurora thought.
"I came to speak to you about Azriel."
Aurora's breath nearly caught, her hands beginning to sweat. "What about him?"
"I understand that you two have become close in the past weeks, however, Azriel has an issue when it comes to females that are off limits. I assume you've heard of his situation with Elain? And his current relationship with the priestess, Gwyn?" Rhysand asked, lifting his chin as he met her gaze. Aurora nodded.
"Nesta informed me."
"Right. So you can see that he seems to want what he can't have. Obviously, he's in a relationship of sorts with Gwyn. I have no power to stop that. I've heard and seen your recent... Closeness to Azriel and for the sake of my Court's protection, I ask that you remove yourself from that. Azriel was asked to train you and watch over you, he is not meant to gain your interest," he ordered, and Aurora's eyes widened.
"High Lord-."
"I'm not finished, Aurora. I know that you have dealt with many things in your life, and it has only been over a month of you being in my Court. I wish to protect you from those experiences, to protect you from any harm that comes from a male. I know that Azriel would never put you in that situation, but I believe it is far too early for you to entertain the ideas when he is already with someone. I do not put that blame on you, however, Azriel should know these things. So, as High Lord of the Court you currently reside in, I am telling you not to pursue Azriel. At least until we figure out the situation with Aldric and Beron. Anything of that sort could put my Court at risk."
Aurora blinked at him. Was he telling her not to have sex with Azriel?
"I'm sorry, but how does my sexual relationship affect the safety of your Court?" Rhysand's nostrils flared, his shoulders tensing.
"I am saying that if you become involved with my spymaster, we could be accused of coming to the Winter Court and taking you," he explained in a harsh tone. In any other situation, Aurora would've flinched and bowed to his word, but she absolutely didn't understand what he was saying.
"But you did. I mean, it was in good conscience. You saved me, you didn't steal me. I am here willingly, does that not count for anything?" Aurora asked. Rhysand sighed, looking back over at the sunrise.
"No. Kallias would be understanding, he already is. Beron, on the other hand, could get the information that you're his daughter and accuse us of stealing you away and forcing you into a relationship with my spymaster to gain allegiance with his Court. I'm looking at this from a High Lord's perspective, any result could be bad."
"Okay, but if that happened, how would they know if I slept with Azriel? I am not like one of your priestesses that you protect beneath this House. I am learning to grow past my fear of males and regain my power. If that means sexually, I'm going to do it. I'm not saying I will sleep with him, but I am saying that my body is my own. I did not escape one prison to get told what to do with my body again," Aurora snapped, and Rhysand rose a brow.
"You've been spending too much time with Nesta. I understand ones wish to gain control of their bodies again by choosing to have sex. You do not know this, but I have done that. Feyre taught me that sex can be my own choice, under my own control. It is very powerful. I am only asking that you hold back on that until we ensure Beron does not catch wind of this. Please, Aurora, I ask that you keep this situation with Azriel strictly training. I cannot risk a war with the Autumn Court. If Tamlin learns of your lineage, which I'm sure he already has, he will be at the border of the Autumn Court immediately," Rhysand explained. Aurora stared at him a moment. Had he been victim to unwanted acts, too? Her heart ached for the raw emotion that poured in his voice.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Rhysand gave her a small smile.
"I did not endure anything as bad as you did. I had an act to play for fifty years, you were tortured for centuries. Do not apologize, Aurora. Just promise me, you'll hold your feelings for Azriel back until we can ensure the safety of you and my Court." His voice was softer now, and Aurora decided that she could do this for him. She could hold herself back from Azriel until Aldric was captured and Beron was no longer a threat.
"I promise," she muttered, and Rhysand seemed to exhale all of his stress.
"Thank you. I promise, as soon as there are no threats to my Court, I won't step between you and Azriel. Enjoy your training," Rhysand shot her a small smile before looking over his shoulder and winnowing away. Aurora looked over at the stairwell, where Azriel was walking out. Her stomach twisted at the sight of him, but she shoved the thoughts away and turned her back to him to continue her stretching.