☆A Z O R A☆
That back there, was probably the best kiss I've ever had.
The drunk part of me wanted to kiss him, but so did the sober part.
I drank because I wanted to get my mind off mom. I've accepted it though, not everyone stays.
But she's still my mom.
I haven't talked to her, not at all. I need to talk to her, just not now.
I smile at Samuel as he hands me the coffee. "Hey."
I smile. "Hello."
We walk to class in silence. The professor arrives and the lecture begins.
After class, I walk to the library. I need to get some books for English, the teacher wants me to read a whole 400 page book and do a 4,000 word essay on it.
I should just copy the whole book.
I go to the front desk and the man hands me my book.
I dont have any more classes, so I decide to find a book to read.
I walk past the tall shelves, running my fingers along the books.
This library is old, but it got renovated.
Just the floors, seating areas and new books.
The shelves are floor to ceiling ones, old brown ones with those tall ladders.
I stop when I reach the final shelf, as well as a wall.
Great, now I've got to walk all the way back because I can't have to go around it.
I sigh and look up. A book catches my eyes.
I raise my hand to get it, but in vain. I get on the tip of my toes and fail miserably.
I feel someone behind me. I recognise the scent. Cigarettes, gardenia.
Ezra grips my waist and grabs the book.
I turn around and lean against the shelf as he hands me the book.
"Thank you." I mutter.
We're in a very private place right now, no one is around here and its closed off.
He doesn't say anything. He leans closer and closer until his lips brushes against mine.
His hands grip my hips.
I'm wearing a very short sun dress right now. I'm going crazy.
"Hi." He whispers.
"Hello."
He leans much more closer and bites my lips, before pulling away.
"Thats not fair." I mumble.
He tilt his head, his green eyes boring into mine. "Whats not fair, love?"
I glare at him. "You know whats not fair."
He smiles. "Well why don't you make it fair?"
I look up at him before grabbing her back of his neck, tilting his mouth towards mine and smashing my lips against his.
He smiles before kissing me back. I feel his hand trail down my thigh, before it goes under my dress.
He doesn't go any further though. I sigh against his mouth and he pulls me even closer.
He grips her back of my thighs and lifts them up.
I wrap my legs around his hips. Slowly, he places me on the edge of the shelf and tilts his head up since I'm now taller.
He pulls away and starts kissing my jaw, while I run my hands through his hair, moaning.
He kisses now my throat until the side of my neck. He bites and kisses my neck, leaving a mark.
"Oh god-"
He kisses me again and wraps his hand around my throat.
"Ezra." I whimper.
He hums.
"What are we?" I whisper.
He pulls away and shrugs. "I don't- im not sure."
I look at the ground.
"I need you to understand I can't be anything more." He says.
"Oh."
"I'm sorry."
I stand up. "Ezra, whatever we're doing- its not going to work."
"But-"
"I'm not the girls you kiss then forget about the next day, okay? Make up your mind."
"You're not the other girls, you never will be. I'm just not ready for that."
"I understand you're not ready, that's okay, I'm not sure i am. But I dont do this. We're better off as friends." I say.
"Friends?"
I nod. "Yes, friends."
He opens his mouth to say something but shuts it close. I walk away.
I like Ezra, but I'm not going to be the girls he has one night stand with.
°•°•°
Things have really turned back to how they were. I forgot all about it.
It definitely wasn't easy, not at all. I still think about it, but I've taught myself to not be emotional about it.
I've been avoiding him. Its better if I do.
He's definitely noticed, but he isn't saying anything.
I'm sitting at the cafeteria. Samuel waves at me and goes to find his seat.
I sit on the bench and look around.
"Hey." Ezra says.
I avoid his eyes. "Hi."
"How'd you sleep?" He asks.
I nod. "Good."
"Do you want to go to the field with me?" He asks.
"Uhm, no sorry. I have...class." I say.
He clenches his jaw and nods. "Okay."
I'm very much free right now, but I can't.
Its been going on like this for 5 days.
"Azora!" Theo yells.
"What?" I ask, glancing at him.
"Samuel is looking at you." Lea says.
I glance at his table. He smiles and waves.
I roll my eyes and smile.
I glance at Ezra who's eyes are glancing between the two of us, his jaw clenched.
I stand up and go grab a glass of orange juice.
I notice Samuel following me. He smiles and leans against the table.
"Hello." He says.
I smile. "Morning."
"Are you free right now?" He asks.
I nod. "Mhm, why?"
"I need help with moving some boxes to my room."
I frown. "Moving in or something?"
He laughs. "New roommate, I know him from high school so he asked me to help him."
"Moving in the middle of the year?" I say.
"Hey, so did you." He says.
I laugh. "Right. Who else will be there?"
"Uh, the roommate, Brandon and Theo."
"Theo?" I ask.
"Yeah, he offered to help us." He says.
"Sure then. You want me to come right now?" I ask.
"Yeah, Theo will come by after, he needs to see coach." He says.
"Okay, give me a few seconds, I need to grab my phone."
He nods, and I walk to the table.
I grab my phone. "I'll see you guys later."
"Hold up, where are you going?" Lea asks.
"Samuel asked me to help him with a new roommate." I mutter.
"Yes! You'll be there as well." Theo yells.
Ezra stands up and drags me to the corner of the room.
"You said you had class." He says.
I swallow. "Right- but Samuel is a friend and-"
"Why are you doing this?" He asks, his eyes darkening.
"What am I doing?" I ask, frowning.
I know damn well what I'm doing.
He scoffs. "You're avoiding me. You said it yourself, friends. That's what we are but friends don't avoid eachother."
"I'm sorry. Fine, friends." I mumble.
He looks at me for a minute before he walks away.
He knows I'm lying.
No matter what, being friends with him would be hard.
I forget whatever it is I said and walk to Samuel.
"Couple's fight?" He asks, chuckling.
I roll my eyes at him. We walk towards his dorm.
I realise that Ezra's dorm is right infront of him, so I'll probably bump into him.
He introduces me to Ezekiel, the roommate.
Hes nice, curly brown hair, blue eyes.
Soon, Theo joins us and we start helping him.
"Brandon?" I ask.
"Sup?" He asks.
"Carry this for me." I say.
He rolls his eyes. "You lazy ass."
"Hey! Its heavy." I mutter.
I grab two suitcases. This one is easy, you just roll it, and im taking the elevators.
I am so helpful and strong. So useful. So kind of me.
I roll them down the hallway and bump on a chest.
I groan and look up and find Ezra.
"You're helping a lot." He mutters, glancing at the suitcases.
"I know right." I mutter.
"Will you meet me after you're done?" He asks.
"Uh- no, class." I mutter.
I do have class this time.
"Alright." He mutters before he walks away.
Oh god, I feel so guilty.
°•°•°
I'm very much exhausted. My hands and legs are sore.
Im sitting in my living room with Theo.
"You are so fucking blind." He says in unbelief.
"What the heck are you saying now?" I ask.
"Ezra. How can you not see how down bad he is for you?"
"Theo, I said i don't want to talk about this." I say, massaging my temples.
"I know but Ezra is hurting. He's done everything for you, he's fucking smiling for you. He is struggling to keep himself from drinking for you."
I frown. "He's struggling?"
I knew it was hard for him, I just didn't know he was struggling to stop.
"But he's treating me like every other girl. He kisses me then says he doesn't do this." I say.
"Hear him talk." Theo says.
"Its better if we don't even go any further. It would ruin everything if we end one day. Id rather be friends with him than never seeing him again."
"Azzy, you're not being friends, you're being strangers!" Theo groans.
I sigh. "Enough about him, okay? Let's talk about something else."
"Stubborn ass." He mumbles.
"I heard that."
"Glad you did."
"Theodore."
"Azora."
"Stop."
"Bro?!"
I sigh and look at Theo.
"How you doing? With your mom and shit." He says.
"I'm doing good." I mutter.
"Mhmmmm."
"Youre so weird." I mumble.
"Oh, babe. You're not so normal yourself."
"Youre abnormal."
"You're- you're paranormal!"
"Hey, look at that, you know something." I say.
"Anyways, if Ezra doesn't make a move, can I?" He asks.
"Can you what?"
"Can I make a move you fucking idiot." He snaps.
"No, Theo, you can't make a move." I mutter.
"Aw, man. C'mon, babe."
I laugh and stand up. I throw a pillow at him and lift him up by tugging on his hand.
"Let's go."
"Where are we going?" He asks.
"Cafeteria, im hungry." I mutter.
We walk to the cafeteria while joking about random stuff.
Once we arrive i gaslight him into paying the food.
We sit down and he drinks from the cup of coffee.
I glare at him and snatch it back.
"Hey! I paid for that." He says.
I hum. "No, you didn't, Theo."
He frowns. "I did."
"No, you didn't. I paid for it, not you." I say.
"Oh, silly me." He says.
I smile. Dumbass.
"So, wanna do something tonight?" He asks.
"Why don't you tell me what we're doing first?"
"Party?"
"Oh, hell no. I'm taking a break from these." I say, my mind going back to what happened last week.
"Fine. Wanna go golfing?"
"No, Theo. We are not 50, and we're definitely not parents." I say.
"Bro, im giving all the suggestions! You try it." He says.
"Let's just go to dinner and go bowling." I say.
"Boringgggg."
"Someone kill me." I mumble.
"A strip club. Haven't been there for a long time."
"Theo, we aren't going to a strip club." I say.
"Fine, arcade?"
"Finally, god. Yes, arcade." I say.
"Who else should be there?" He asks.
I shrug. "You wanted to hang out, you choose."
"Fine, just us." He says.
°•°•°
Here i am, at the arcade watching Theo play.
This is starting to get extremely frustrating since I'm losing.
We're playing a racing game.
"You know what? Let's change games." I say, giving up.
He laughs and collects his tickets. "Feeling dumb now, aren't you princess?"
"Shut up."
We walk to the basketball game.
This time, I will.
By the end, we mix all of our tickers together and end up getting a giant Teddy bear.
"I'm keeping it." He says.
I gasp. "What? No!"
"I am!"
"No, me!"
"Azora, I am."
"Theodore, im the girl, im heartbroken, I deserve it."
He groans and shoves the bear at me. "You aren't allowed to do that."
I shove the bear back to him. "Oh, but I did. And carry it for me, its heavy."
Once we reach my dorm, he leaves the. bear on my bed and goes back to his dorm.
I fall on the bed and sigh.
What a day.