22
TO HAUNT AND BE HAUNTED
THE RAYS OF SUNLIGHT GLARED down at Zuko and San riding the ostrich horse as they determinedly followed unusual tracks left along the grass by an advanced metal vehicle of some kind. The aforementioned boy claimed it was his sister's doing based on the Fire Nation symbol spotted on it but San hoped with all her heart it wasn't. She wasn't in the mood to run into the princess again.
"San, look." Zuko said, gesturing to unidentifiable items scattered across the ground before them. Scratch unidentifiable, that was Appa's saddle and basic objects likely belonging to the Avatar's gang. "They went this way."
San followed his point to the row of Appa's shedding leading left but before he could ride the ostrich horse away, she departed the animal and eyed the suspicious scene on the right. The tops of the trees were broken, falling off somewhere behind in the forestry as broken wood at the tips were all that remained.
"I think Aang tried to fool Azula and the rest. The sky bison shedding go there but in the opposite direction, those trees have been partially broken off at the top." She pointed out, "So you'll follow the shedding and I'll go in that direction."
Zuko hesitated, remembering patently what happened the last time they split up.
"Don't worry. If I'm in trouble, I'll holler like a tigerdillo." San quipped.
Some expression mixing amusement and confusion curtained over his face but Zuko nonetheless agreed and they went their separate ways temporarily. Past the vast greenery and towering spruce trees, San found herself standing before a river with no rocks in between to help cross. However, on the other side, there was a fight going on between four people; the Water Tribe siblings against Mai and Ty Lee.
San's face lit up in excitement. She hadn't seen Mai and Ty Lee for what seemed like forever. Although the excitement coursing through her veins diminished slightly once she remembered that they've likely been recruited by Azula to pursue Zuko and herself to capture for being fugitives; hunting down the Avatar and his friends were just a fun bonus. Nonetheless, she won't get her answers by simply standing on the empty side of the riverbank so she utilised her firebending abilities to fly over to the other side as if she equipped rocket boots.
San's unexpected arrival thawed Mai and Ty Lee's smooth fight against the sleep-deprived Water Tribe siblings (why they were so incredibly sleep-deprived in the first place- she wasn't sure but the eye bags prominently seen was dark enough to rival ink smudges). She slid to a halt as she landed in the middle, the grass soft beneath her bare feet.
"San?" Ty Lee was the first to break the shock silence, a bright grin adorning her lips. "Oh my goodness, it's been so long!"
San couldn't get a word in before the circus girl squealed and embraced her in a hug, arms wrapped around her neck and pulling her close. The holder for the sun spirit's heart gladly returned it.
"Let me give you a kiss!"
"Sure." She giggled as they pulled away.
Ty Lee affectionately peppered her cheeks with fleeting kisses of warm greeting like a spring fairy blessing the angelic human with everything good in the world. Her bright pink aura (as she often called it) and strong positive energy was contagious as always and San allowed her guard to be down.
And then a knife was thrown, flying past her ear.
"Mai?!" San yelped, alerted and confused. The knife ended up nearly hitting a snoozing Sokka, who continued napping away with his sister against a tree.
She stepped away, arms up and on guard again. However, Mai let go of her fighting stance and took on a more lax posture, the faintest hint of a smirk caught lingering. "I see your reflexes are still great. But I bet you're still rusty with the knives."
A loose chuckle fell from San's lips once she realised Mai was only messing with her. However... "Ah, but if you two are here, that means Azula's here too."
Mai and Ty Lee exchanged glances. They weren't strangers to Azula and San's falling out, much less the underlying toxicity in their once innocent friendship. At this point, their childhood memories were like the gunpowder grey of residue rain; trickling down supple blades of grass and becoming muddy. Mai and Ty lee loved San and neither had a reason to despise her, however, neither did they have a reason to wholly defend her back then from the princess. (They did try. Once. And when that was dismissed, they simply let it go).
Three years ago when they heard San fled the palace to join Zuko in his banishment, the shock stirring in their guts was an understatement. The timid San who barely stood up for herself said nothing to the princess before her departure and left her whole life in the Fire Nation behind to pursue the unknown outside? Mai thought she was crazy. Ty Lee was worried. But neither had the time to dwell on it for Mai moved to Omashu to support her father and the latter joined the circus. The rift in their childhood friendship widened to the creation of a gigantic ravine between them impossible to cross.
Eventually, all three of them left Azula to herself in the palace. With her father. All alone.
"Did she order you two to capture me on sight? Since I'm a fugitive now?" An invisible wall of caution rose around San as she stepped back, guard up again.
Mai and Ty Lee hesitated for a second.
"Yes," the circus girl said regrettably, taking position.
A sheen of hurt flashed across her honeyed eyes vanishing as soon as it appeared. Of course they'd side with Azula.
Everything happened too fast for her liking from their sweet greeting to their turned backs as they attempted to carry out the princess' orders without much of a choice. San couldn't blame them if she wanted to. Mai and Ty Lee didn't do anything wrong. But it was exactly that — they didn't do anything.
Should they have done something back then? Done something that made San feel as if it wasn't just her and her alone (with Tai Yang) against the world? Were they even close in the first place or had they just been obligated to get along with her because she was Azula's handmaiden? Until today, San wasn't sure of the concrete proof. However, she liked to think that they were friends. She'd do cartwheels with Ty Lee and learn how to throw knives with Mai. They'd enjoy pastries together and eavesdrop on gossip.
San was sure they liked her. Just not enough. Not as much as when it came to Azula.
The battle commenced before she could process it but it was clear that neither yearned to hurt the other harshly. Due to San's powerful scorching white flames, Mai and Ty Lee were forced to keep their distance. This was the first time they ever fought against her and the first time they'd seen her white flames in person. It took some time for their eyes to adjust to the sheer, blinding colour flickering before their pupils. Knives were thrown and San's moves were scrutinised but the gymnast's nose scrunched in bewilderment, unable to find an opening to jump in close and swiftly attack her pressure points. Unlike most benders she fought against before, San was careful not to expose any openings, agile enough to whip fire around her like a shield but thoughtful enough to make sure it didn't accidentally burn them because it wasn't what she wanted. Ty Lee held back a shocked expression. Even after all these years, San was kind.
Ty Lee left it up to Mai who used her knives as her offence and defence (how many she had under her sleeves remained a mystery). Until she managed to get up close and her knife clashed with San's own; metal snapped on metal.
"I'm impressed you made it this far." Mai commented with nothing malicious detected in her undertone. San said nothing, she need not to, because all the emotions were welled up on her eyes clear enough for her opponent to see.
Briefly, Mai faltered but then tripped as soon as San ducked to avoid Ty Lee from behind. Ty Lee's foot stepped on Mai's and she winced, falling forward.
"Oh, oops!" She gasped. "I'm so sorry, Mai!"
Suddenly, Appa turned around and lifted his tail, slamming it on the ground and forcing Mai and Ty Lee to fly back faraway into the river, going wherever the currents took them.
"Oh, uh, thanks, Appa!" San beamed. With the way she remembered and acknowledged his name, Appa let out a friendly roar and licked her side profile, leaving her speechless.
After getting over the sky bison saliva stuck to her, San glanced at the sleeping Water Tribe siblings and realised Aang was nowhere to be seen. 'He must be with Zuko and Azula right now then. But what should I do with these two?'
She picked up a stick lying randomly on the ground and started poking the boy first like he was a dead insect she didn't want to have skin contact with. Seconds later, he stirred awake with a snort and his head shot up, startling San as she immediately pulled the stick away. When his eyes opened completely, he took note of his surroundings. Mai and Ty Lee were nowhere in sight. It was just Appa staring with those big ebony eyes of his and San's curious gaze.
"What happened...?" He slurred his words, attempting to sit up on his elbows. Sensing his movement, his sister began to stir awake too.
"I helped fend those two off for you guys," She said, "so now you kinda owe me."
His pupils dilated in surprise and he scrambled to his feet. Katara jolted awake in confusion. San laughed, putting her hands up weakly in surrender. "I'm only jesting. I mean, I won't ask anything extreme from you. All I need is a ride on Appa to where Aang is."
"Oh." Sokka stopped struggling to whip out his boomerang from the back. "That's fine."
"Huh." Katara said, rubbing her eyes. "You know our names."
Her lips spit into a blinding smile as her head bounced up and down.
The ride to cross the river and then to reach the forsaken village was fortunately short. Sand smothered San's toes as she leaped off Appa, watching Katara sprint off first to find Aang and chase Azula away from him. The sight of the hotheaded princess churned her gut but San swallowed the pain down and forced her courage to rise, twisting her wrist in a battle-ready position and stepping ahead.
As soon as she saw Azula flee from the building, she blasted a ball of white fire towards her. It flew past the princess' face as she barely avoided it in time. A satirical, almost impressed, smirk made its way to her lips.
"If Lo and Li were here right now, they'd be incredibly proud with how far you've come." She taunted, soured honey voice drifting along the winds. "Finally attacking me first and not being on the defensive constantly?"
"You don't know what I'm capable of, Azula." She attempted to sweep the princess off her feet but she jumped to avoid and shot a sphere of blue fire at her; San dived to the side to evade in the nick of time.
"I know you're capable of changing your mind." Azula scoffed, straightening her two outstretched fingers as if she was preparing to call the lightning. "But if you insist on staying a traitor, then we're nothing but strangers now."
Red fire flew like a phoenix in a blur aimed straight at Azula's side, but she cancelled it out with a blue spark. San was unaware her lips began to form a bright smile as Zuko jumped into action. Azula yelped as something shifted the ground, forcing her to slip. A blind fourteen-year-old showed up beside San (she assumed she was a new friend of Aang's otherwise her presence was entirely strange and coincidental) and on her right was Aang himself. The Water Tribe siblings and Iroh showed up on the remaining of Azula's side, blocking all escape routes as they backed her into a deserted corner.
There was an inexplicable sense of harmony and melodies weaving in the air as everyone focused on Azula, deciding silently not to go against each other at the moment instead. The princess deduced this in a second and smiled.
"Well, look at this. Enemies and traitors all working together. I'm done. I know when I'm beaten. a princess surrenders with honour." She said with her hands up. Pin drop silence ensued. San grimaced. Something wasn't right.
Azula dropped to her feet and shot blue fire at her fingertips aimed at Iroh, the flame striking the side of his chest and knocking him down.
"NO!" Zuko screamed in agony.
Time was thrust back into its usual speed like someone pulled the rug from under them as everyone simultaneously launched attacks at Azula. Smoke wreathed into the air where she once stood, ashy emptiness all that was left behind. San found herself breathing heavily—from sheer panic, fear or fury, she wasn't sure—and rushed to Iroh's side next to Zuko. His head was in his hands as she calmly analysed the damage done. A thin wisp of smoke curled into the air from the blackened wound. San bit her lip as her nails dug into her skin, unsure of what to do right now.
'Bandages. Medicinal herbs. I... I think I have some.' Quickly, she shoved her hand into her pockets and revealed bits and pieces of some medicinal herbs she stole the other day. Bandages was all that was left to find in this abandoned village and worse comes to worst, her and Zuko will take Iroh to the nearest clinic they can find and pray it won't be too late then.
"Wait, San, Zuko..." Unexpectedly, Katara approached them with the others behind gazing at the fallen Fire Nation citizens with worry. "I can help. Just let me—"
"No need." San interrupted immediately. At the same time, she placed her right hand atop of Zuko's in an attempt to calm him and keep him from lashing out unnecessarily at Team Avatar. His fingers dug into the sand but welcomed her warmth. "We can take it from here. But it's best for you all to leave. Leave now."
The blind girl lingered a little longer.
"Now."
The wind bristled past the broken windows of the forsaken village and past the three humans left present.
"Find some bandages, Zuko." San spoke again in a soft demand after she noticed his breathing slowed to a steadier rhythm. "Uncle Iroh will be okay, I promise. I have some healing herbs here which should help too. But he'll be okay. He has to be. No, he will be."
✷
MAI LIED DOWN ON THE sunny patch of grass, letting the heat dry her clothes after being dumped into the river alongside Ty Lee thanks to the huge, fluffy creature. Her eyes closed and her mind subconsciously wandered to a youthful memory between her and San.
It was another hangout in the palace backyard and as Azula and Ty Lee were having a cartwheel competition, Mai was explaining to San the first scar she got from the first time she tried throwing a knife, pointing to a pale line on the palm of her right hand. She encouraged the curious San to feel it and guided her hand to hers. Until today, she could recall how warm her touch was like a compressed solid sun ray. She asked if it hurt and Mai said of course, it was a knife after all. However, she was willing to wield it again because she wanted to be experienced with knives one day, especially with herself being a non-bender.
San found her determination admirable and asked if she could also learn to wield knives from her one day. Mai wasn't sure why partially because she didn't want the handmaiden to accidentally hurt herself in the process like she did (though it was all part of the learning curve) but she agreed she will teach her once she got the hang of it herself.
"Maaaaiii!! Did you fall asleep?" Ty Lee's voice filled to the brim with exuberance rang in her ear.
"No. I'm awake."
"Great! Because we have to reunite with Azula again." She clapped her hands together. "I do hope San's okay, though. I know we don't have a choice but to arrest her for being a fugitive but maybe she'll change her mind later and she won't throw San into jail immediately! I'd hate to see her be in jail anyway."
"Do you think San hates us?"
For the first time in awhile, Ty Lee fell silent like a scarecrow. It was baffling at first to hear the inquiry escape from Mai's mouth because the gymnast hadn't expect that at all but it was a question that left them pondering.
Sure, they had an amicable reunion that lasted for a couple minutes before they technically turned on her. But they didn't have a choice! Azula doesn't treat the people who go against her kindly; Ty Lee often fed her compliments so she'd boost her ego and be in the 'safe zone', Mai only tagged along for the partial freedom in fighting instead of being forced to listen to her old man drone on and on about politics. San was extremely lucky Azula somehow hadn't burn her to a crisp yet. Sometimes, Mai wasn't entirely sure if the princess truly loathed her ex-handmaiden. San was all she ever really talked about anyway aside from expressing her desire to one day conquer Ba Sing Se and make her father proud.
The sight of San's conflicting emotions flashing through her irises as Mai looked into them earlier replayed in her head. One of the look had been hurt and betrayal. Mai didn't get it. Why would she have expected anything different than the decisions they made? No- somewhere deep, deep down, guilt settled in the tissue of her bones.
"Nevermind." Mai renounced her words quickly and stood straight, dusting unseen grass off her outfit. "Forget i said anything. We shouldn't keep Azula waiting."
The sun rays persisted in its heat as the two girls walked off from where they once laid.
✷
IROH HAD YET TO WAKE. San constantly reassured Zuko that he would be okay and suggested he go make his own tea for a change whilst she scavenged for simple ingredients to make easy soup.
"Hey," She greeted the prince as she returned with the ingredients, watching him brew tea. "How's Uncle Iroh?"
"Still unconscious." He mumbled. "You found ingredients to make soup?"
"Mhm." She bobbed her head up and down, preparing to make it as she alit the wood underneath the pot. "You... know how to make tea, right?"
"Of course. I've seen you and Uncle make it dozens of time."
Before she could ask to try just in case, they heard Iroh groan and stir awake. Immediately, the teenagers were welled up with relief.
"Uncle, we're so glad you're awake." Zuko smiled, beginning to pour his tea into small cups.
"Yeah, you were unconscious in the meantime. Azula did a surprise attack on you." San said solemnly, sprinkling the ingredients into the soup.
"Somehow, that's not so surprising." He grumbled, resting his hand on his temple.
"Here." Zuko handed him and his friend cups of tea. "I hope I made it the way you two like it."
One sip and it was like vile liquid burning her throat. San wasn't sure if it was his tea brewing methods or the ingredients he used but whatever she put in her mouth she wanted out. She cupped her hand over her mouth to prevent her tongue from sticking out in revolt. On the other hand, Iroh masked his cry of disgust well.
"Good. That was, uh, very bracing." He grimaced, hiding his disappointment with a smile.
"Yes. Best tea ever. Uncle Iroh's got competition." San complimented lightheartedly. She almost felt guilty for lying when she saw the way his eyes lit up and how eagerly he handed her another cup. In sync, she and Iroh tossed the tea out the large hole in the wall before Zuko could realise.
"So, I've been thinking. It's only a matter of time before I run into Azula again. I'm going to need to know more advanced firebending if I want to stand a chance against her. I know what you're going to say, Uncle: she's my sister and I should be trying to get along with her."
"No, she's crazy, and she needs to go down." Iroh voiced out firmly.
"San?" He averted his gaze to her, trying to detect any appall or disapproval in her eyes. There were none.
"You do what you have to do, Zuko." Resting a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, she nodded. "Uncle Iroh and I will support you."
"Indeed." Grunting as he stood up, he declared, "We will resume your training."
The three travelled up the mountain after drinking their soup from dusk to dawn. They found an abandoned house a little away from the mountain cliffside and the plenty of space provided was the perfect area for training, as Iroh claimed.
"Lightning is a pure form of firebending, without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightning the cold-blooded fire. It is precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind."
Speaking of lightning, San was hit with a flashback from her youth; when she'd train with Azula supervised by Lo and Li and when she was forced to witness her practicing lightning bending. That was what Iroh was going to teach Zuko?
"I see. That's why we're drinking tea, to calm the mind." Zuko noted out loud with a serious demeanour.
"Oh yeah, good point! I mean, yes." Iroh cleared his throat. "There is energy all around us. The energy is both yin and yang. Positive energy and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance, and in a moment the positive and negative energy come crashing back together, you provide release and guidance, creating lightning."
To demonstrate, Iroh stepped up, extended two fingers from his right hand, created a circular motion and shot upwards, generating lightning rumbling the skies as the booming sound echoed across the valleys. San and Zuko gawked in sheer amazement.
"I'm ready to try it!" The latter pumped himself up.
"Remember, once you separate the energy, you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide. Breathe first."
Inhaling deeply, Zuko attempted to generate lightning. Instead, an explosion launched him back a great distance. Iroh shook his head in disappointment as San stood a little away from the young man practicing in desperation, curious to see if he would succeed any time soon. Even when the sun rose overhead, he didn't.
"San, would you like to try producing lightning?" Iroh turned to the patient young woman.
"Me? Oh, sure." San said nonchalantly but deep down, she was nervous.
Never in a million years would she have expected herself to attempt to bend lightning. Lightning bending was a precise art and only three people in the world were known to have mastered it; Fire Lord Ozai, Iroh, and Azula. On one hand, if she could bend lightning here and now, she would be ecstatic because bending a whole new sub-element was beyond awesome. On the other hand, she believed it was somewhat unlikely because if Zuko, a prince, couldn't do it, then what chances did she have as an ex-handmaiden?
Apparently quite high.
Shifting her foot into a precise position, San concentrated on separating the yin and yang energies within her body and then focused solely on guiding it before release. She'd seen Iroh accomplish it and she'd seen Azula accomplish it; the move ingrained in her head. She should be anle to do this. She can so this.
White lightning shot out from her fingertips tinged with violet, striking the skies and rumbling the earth. Iroh watched proudly as Zuko was gobsmacked at the fact that she produced it on the first try.
"Oh." San blinked, breaking out of her concentration. "I did it. I did it! Zuko, I did it!"
"Yes, you did it!"
Her exhilaration was contagious as she bounced on her heels like a hyper bunny, Zuko unable to help but reciprocate the proud smile adorning her lips. "But how did you do it?"
"I just emptied my mind and thought of nothing. Kept myself steady and took deep breaths." She advised, standing beside him as they got into position. "Then I concentrated on carefully separating the yin and yang energies within me, acting as a guide to direct their flow before—"
Once again, San's lightning pierced through the skies but Zuko's exploded in his face again, forcing him to fly back.
"I don't get it." He complained, rubbing his temple in frustration. "I followed your words and Uncle's carefully and all it does is explode in my face... like everything always does."
"The reason why you cannot produce lightning is because you have not dealt with the turmoil inside you." Iroh explained, making his way towards his nephew.
"What turmoil?"
"Zuko, you must let go of your feelings of shame if you want your anger to go away."
"But I don't feel any shame at all. I'm as proud as ever."
"Prince Zuko, pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame." He continued wisely. San agreed.
"Well, my life has been nothing but humbling lately." He muttered, gazing at the dirty ground he sat on.
"I have another idea." Iroh decided out loud after picking up on his nephew's misery. "I will teach you a firebending move that even Azula doesn't know, because I made it up myself."
San heard that as the cue for her to search the abandoned house, leaving the two alone for awhile. Surprisingly, the house remained in perfectly good condition aside from the fact that the lights were too dim, indicating a desperate need for a bulb change (though there weren't any spare ones lying around so they'd have to make do). Nothing much was found either, which was to be expected, but at least there was a pack of unopened pasta lying in one of the cupboards so she could boil it and make something out of it. By the time she returned outside, Iroh was crouched, holding a stick to draw something in the dirt.
"Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want."
Both Azula and Zuko popped up in San's head. They would do anything to make their father proud even when he didn't deserve any of their respect in the first place and they never give up, especially in the face of adversity.
"Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring. Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, they apparently had pretty good senses of humour!"
"I can see that." San chuckled, the image of a pure-smiling Aang appearing in her mind. Iroh grinned broadly before returning to a more serious demeanour.
"Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything."
"Why are you telling me all this?" Zuko puzzled, frowning.
"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." As Iroh spoke, he drew a division between the four insignias, separating them into individual sections. "Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole." He drew a large circle around the insignias.
"All these four element talk is starting to sound like Avatar talk."
'That's because it is.' San realised to herself. 'That's why the Avatar is so special in which he can bend all four elements. Look, each insignia on the ground share the same spiral symbol. We may live in separate nations but deep down, we're all connected!'
The oranges in the sky sunk into midnight blues as San busied herself in the kitchen while Iroh continued training Zuko. There was nothing that wasn't expired in the cupboards to make a sauce out of and it was too late to scavenge for any possible edible berries (or tomatoes if she could be lucky enough) outside, especially since it began to rain. So the best she could do was perfectly boiled plain pasta but it was better than having nothing in the stomach.
"Uncle Iroh! Zuko! Dinner's ready!" She stepped out to call them in, but the exiled prince was nowhere to be seen and Iroh seemed to be performing something.
No- it was less performing and more... meditation, perhaps. Even in the pouring rain, San could see he managed to catch a single raindrop in his hand without breaking it and moved it across his arm in a graceful motion. It was mesmerising to witness. How did the raindrop not break? How did it not travel in a different direction, only going where Iroh was guiding it to? By the end of it, he opened his hand and let the raindrop roll from his palm to his fingertips, landing on the leaf of a single blooming flower.
"That is inner peace." He said to her after coming inside and sitting before the dining table. San handed him a towel to dry himself with. "I learned it when I retired as general and went on my journey of self-discovery."
"Inner peace." She repeated, her voice barely above a whisper. "Does it... give you a power boost?"
Iroh chuckled, picking up his chopsticks. "I'm afraid not. It's only a way for you to accept your past, present and future. Let what happened in the past go because your beginnings do not define who you are as a whole, but it's the rest of your story and who you choose to be that does."
"Does Zuko know that?" San said, smiling as she promised to remember his wise words in her heart. "I think it'll be good for him to learn what you did in the rain just now. And then maybe he can bend lightning."
"I did try to guide him differently again." He admitted, "But Zuko remains stubborn and he is chained to his past. His honour, his father. However, patience is key. Give him time. He will come around soon, I'm sure of it."
San had faith in Zuko too. They were partners but more than that, they were friends and friends believe in each other no matter what. Later on further into the night, Iroh dozed to sleep and San washed the dishes, the light buzzing above her as dim as the crescent moon waning outside. The door to the abandoned house swung open but San wasn't surprised.
"Welcome home, Zuko." She said softly with a teasing undertone, the rain pouring violently outside. When he didn't say anything, she continued. "I'm glad you're back already. Uncle Iroh's gone to sleep. I was worried you would stay out there for too long and you could get sick from—"
Before she could finish, arms wrapped themselves around her and a head buried themselves into her shoulder from behind, Zuko sobbing. San immediately forgot what she had been talking about, consumed with shock and realisation. The rain outside paled to the muffle of his cries. In that very moment, she ignored the rain droplets clinging to his hair and patted him gently to reassure him that she was here and he wasn't alone.
"It's going to be okay." She whispered, allowing him to let it all out. "It's going to be all right."
Zuko couldn't care less about the heat radiating off her body as he hugged her from behind. If anything else, it was welcome in the moment considering his dripping wet appearance and the night had been exceedingly freezing.
"Please don't tell uncle." He mumbled into her shoulder.
"I won't, I promise." She reassured. Silence radiating comfort stilled between them. "We can stay like this for a little longer if you want."
"Please." He said, tenderly tightening his hold on her.
He couldn't quite put it into words but hugging San put his tumultuous mind at ease. It would usually be noisy, full of egging concerns and voices belittling him, voices telling him he's on the wrong path, voices telling him he's on the right path- but with her, everything in his head fell silent. Quiet like a home he never knew but always loved.
"Here, let me help you." San insisted quietly after they parted the hug once a couple moments passed, taking a cloth and drying his hair, wiping his face in the process. Her breath was shaky as she cupped his face oh so tenderly, massaging the creases of doubt from his face in such a loving way Zuko felt he could die. "I know you're worried and think you've hit rock bottom but you've got me and you've got Uncle Iroh. The only way to go now is up and with us by your side, you've got nothing to worry about."
"But how can you still be here after all this? I'm a nobody."
"No, you're Zuko. You've always been Zuko to me."
There was a mist of innocent curiosity emanating from his gaze as he locked eyes with her. The glow of her complexion was inexhaustibly calming and her irises were saturated with a kind of vivacity he didn't even dare try to understand.
"What are you thinking of?" Her lips were tugged upward into an amused smile, snapping him out of it.
"Nothing much, I..." As her hand began to slip away, he grabbed onto it again, insisting for it to stay where it was on the right side of his face. "Sometimes, your touch reminds me of that incident with my father against my will."
"Oh, Zuko." Guilt welled up in her eyes. "I—"
"No, it's not your fault." He knew she had more difficulty controlling the hot temperature exerting from her body due to holding on to Tai Yang's heart within her. "But I know you're not him. And you'll never hurt me."
"Of course not." Her forehead pressed against his gently and Zuko exhaled slowly. He swore his scar started heating up as the haunting memories threatened to rise but he pushed the feeling away, constantly reminding himself that this was San. His friend, his partner, his everything.
Fire was warm. It was safe when controlled. The cosy warmth of snuggling yourself in a woolly blanket beside the fireplace, the comforting warmth of embracing a loved one, the nostalgic warmth of sipping hot chocolate decorated with marshmallows brewed by your mother. This was the type of warmth he felt when he was with her. Fire was destruction but it was also salvation.
And without a doubt, he swore San would be his undoing at the same time as she was his lifeline.
A/N: long time no write!! I'm sorry, I've been so caught up in college so far but here's a new chapter that's kinda long which I hope you all enjoyed!! sunburn's back, I missed them so much<3 and we've got some mai and ty lee crumbs! I love them a lot and I can't wait to continue writing this story! also I sprinkled some kung fu panda references because the trilogy is such a gem — watch it if you haven't already💖 don't forget to vote and leave a comment and I love all you readers, mwah<3
love,
coral