Chapter One Hundred Eight
Eli
After sending Arrow to check out the hotel, I notice he stops at Dani's desk for a few minutes. They seem to be having a serious conversation, but I can't read their lips to see what they're saying. When I think Arrow is taking too long, I send Ash out to hurry him out of the building. It's not that I don't trust him or Dani. I don't think he'd intentionally hurt her or anything, but I don't need him telling her about this mission. I don't want to worry her or scare her.
When Arrow leaves and Ash is back in the briefing room, I carry on giving the guys our itinerary for the day. I hazard a quick glance at Dani, just to see what she's doing. She's watching me intently, like she's trying to figure something out. She knows. I don't know if Arrow told her or if she figured it out, but she knows. Unless she asks me about it, I'm not breathing a word on the matter. I don't think she'll ask, so I should be safe. I'm not going to lie to her, but I'm not going to volunteer the information either. I shove those thoughts to the back of my mind. I need to focus on the task at hand and I'll deal with the rest later.
We get through the day and it's nearly 8pm when we finally get to head home. Ash is with Dani and myself on the way down the stairs.
"Hey, Ash?"
"Yeah?"
"You coming for dinner on Sunday?"
"You want me to?"
"Of course."
He throws a glance at Dani, but she looks like she's in her own world, thinking about something.
"Dani?"
The sound of her name startles her and she jumps slightly before blushing and whispering, "Yes sir?"
"You want me to come to dinner on Sunday?"
"Oh. Yes sir."
"Sure?"
"You trying to get out of it?"
There's her sarcasm again. I love hearing her make jokes. Ash is shocked at first and then he chuckles, "You're getting sassy. I like it. You must be learning it from me, because this guy isn't really the joking type..."
I see a small smile form on Dani's lips and I have two thoughts. My first thought is that I so want to kiss that beautiful smile. The second is wondering what she's thinking about. It's as if she reads my mind because she speaks in Russian next.
"I'm remembering the vampire and werwolf conversation..."
I think for a few seconds. Then I remember myself and chuckle at the memory.
Ash cuts into our moment, "Er, feeling like the outsider here, guys. Stop it."
Dani apologizes and I just slap Ash on the back in a brotherly gesture.
"So, Sunday? You want to join us?"
"Sure. What about my mom?"
We both look at Dani to gauge her reaction. She shrugs and says, "Sure. Beth is going to be there, so why not?"
Ash frowns, "Beth?"
Dani nods, but doesn't offer an explanation. I don't know if that's because she's embarrassed, doesn't know what to say, or is just preoccupied. So I answer, "Yeah. She's someone Dani knew from a few years ago. Dani stayed with her for a while."
I'm hoping Ash gets the hidden message so he doesn't question further. He's silent for a minute and then he nods, "Cool. I'll let my mom know. Thanks."
Dani is quiet through dinner and then while we're getting ready for bed. She doesn't read her book, just stares at the pages blankly. I have an idea what's on her mind, but when I ask about it, she just says she's thinking. She doesn't give anything away and I fear we're going back to the way things used to be. We've come so far in the few months and I really don't want to ruin that. However, I don't want Dani to panic and worry about these guys finding us or anything. I don't want to cause her unnecessary worry. I promised to protect her and sometimes you have to withhold information to keep the ones you love safe.
I whisper a goodnight and place a kiss on the top of Dani's head, before we settle for sleep. She lays awake for a few hours, just staring at the ceiling. I know this, because her breathing hasn't changed. It hasn't got deeper, like a sleeping person's does. Just as I'm about to ask what's wrong, her breathing deepens and she's drifted off to sleep.
I don't know how long we sleep for, but I'm woken up by Dani tossing and turning. It's almost like she's fighting.
She speaks in Russian, "No... Please... Don't... Please don't hurt me.... Please...!"
She's sobbing and calling for her poppa; she's asking for him to help her, to save her. Her arms and legs are all over the place, and I'm almost certain she's fighting someone off. She hasn't had a nightmare this bad in a little while and I'm not sure what to do. Usually she wakes herself up so I don't have to do it. The few times I have woken her, it didn't go well. Just me touching her sent her into a complete melt down, so I'm dubious of doing that agin.
I don't get any more time to contemplate that because she screams and its up quickly. I let her take a minute to get herself together before saying or doing anything. I hear her whispering, "It's ok, Dani. It was just a dream... just a dream..."
She rubs her hands over her face and I wait for her to remember I'm in the room. When she removes her hands from her face, she startles when she sees me. I see the moment of recognition cross her features when she realizes where she is. That's when she jumps up and runs to the bathroom; like the weight of the nightmare has just settled on her. Before I can get out of the bed, I hear her puking. I'm thinking she might be coming to the end of this dosage of drugs. She's probably due a top-up, which is why the last few days have been more difficult.
I check on Dani in the bathroom and I whisper, "Baby? What's going on?"
In a lull f the vomiting, she whispers, "Just a nightmare. I'm sorry I woke you."
"Don't be sorry. I want to help. Do you want to talk about it?"
She shakes her head and I'm taken aback a little. I guess I'm not used to her keeping things from me anymore.
I think she sees my moment of shock or hurt because she then whispers, "I can't. Not yet."
"Ok. You want a glass of water?"
She nods and another wave of nausea hits her. I grab the glass from beside the sink and fill it before placing it on the floor near Dani. I'm not sure if she's ready for human contact yet, so I'm careful to avoid touching her or going into her personal space too much. We've been though this routine enough times for me to have learned what is acceptable behavior. That sounds awful, but there's certain things Dani can't handle after a nightmare or flashback. Touch is a big no no; at least not straight away. She needs to sort her head out before she can process me touching her. I stay out of her personal space because it causes her even more distress and I don't want to make things worse for her. I've learned that by taking a step back, it gives her time to process and sort herself out and then she comes to me. It's her choice then and I'm not making her feel like it's forced on her.
She takes almost half the water and then brushes her teeth before whispering, "I think I need to shower..."
"I'll be just out there if you need me, ok?"
She nods and waits for me to leave before I hear the door lock.
I sit on the bed, listening to the water run, and wait for Dani to appear again. Something isn't quite right. Something feels wrong. I don't know what it is or why I feel like this, but I can sense something is wrong with Dani. It doesn't seem like she wants to talk about it though and I don't feel like she'd respond well to me pushing the subject. For now, I decide to sit on it and see what happens. If I think she will talk about it with me, then I'll ask her what's wrong, but I just have to wait for that opening to present itself.
Dani is quiet through breakfast and our journey to work, but she does brighten up a little when she sees Ash. That does sting a little more than I'd like to admit. I know they're friends, but I am slightly jealous of the way it seems to be more easy for them to be the way they are. I know Ash doesn't need to push the boundaries or try to have a romantic relationship with Dani. My logical mind understands that's the reason it's easier for them. I know there's nothing extra to their friendship or relationship to cause Dani to be taken out of her comfort zone, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch right now. I know I'm only thinking like this because of what happened last night and Dani's distance this morning. I also know I can't take this out on Ash or the team, which means I need to get my head together and forget about it for now. I swear Dani is turning me into a romantic sap, because I never used to get so distracted. Ash and the Cap used to call me the king of focusing, but I think I'm letting that slip, at least when Dani is on my mind.
I feel a hand slap me on my shoulder. Out of instinct, I grab the hand and twist it before my head clears and I remember where I am. Dani looks shocked and Ash looks slightly amused but also slightly in pain.
I quickly drop his hand and say, "Sorry man, you caught me off guard."
"No worries. I should have known better when you didn't answer me. Where were you?"
"Just thinking. Sorry."
"Forget about it. I'm going to head on up before you. I want to check in with the Cap."
I nod absentmindedly and he's gone before I can say anything further.
Dani's voice is small, like she's trying to be insignificant, when she asks, "Eli? Are you ok?"
I shoot her what I hope is a reassuring smile, "Just a lot on my mind."
She nods, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"It's ok, thanks. Just trying to work through a case in my mind. I'm sure I'll figure it out."
"Ok. Eli?"
I turn my full attention to her again.
"Please be careful."
Her words have more concern in them than any other time she's said that. She's worried, which confirms my suspicions that she knows. I don't tell her anything about the case. I don't give her any information, but I do take her hand in mine carefully. As I speak, I try to transfer everything I'm feeling to her, everything that words cannot express.
"Always, sweetheart. Always."
She nods and places a quick kiss on my knuckles before allowing our hands to fall to my side. I have to make this raid successful. I have to take down this man and this criminal ring. If I don't, I'll fail Dani and all the girls they have and will have. That bothers me far more than failing my Cap or Captain Greggson. With that thought, I determine to make this work. I will find this guy and I will make him pay for all of his crimes.