I sat at the same couch that Fred and I had spoken on at my first ever Gryffindor party, nursing a cup of juice as everyone else worked through the leftover fire-whiskey and butterbeer from the twins birthday. We had school tomorrow, but no one seemed to care. In fact, I was beginning to think people were trying to outlast the Weasley's fireworks which could still be heard outside of the windows in the tower.
I had watched Harry, Ron and Hermione grinning all night for what felt like the first time in forever, even as Hermione snuck away after the first hour to work on some homework in the corner. I had watched George and Angelina refill each other's drinks every half hour, both of them nearly staggering now, leading the common room in songs and chants and telling jokes. I had noticed all of this, even as my brain had been swirling around those words from hours ago.
You haven't told her yet.
And now here we were, hours into a party where I had barely seen him. He and George had admittedly spent a good chunk of the night selling out their entire collection of products to the Gryffindors, their pockets likely weighed down with all kinds of gold. But now, now I could see him again. And I could see the dark haired seventh year pressed much too close to him, laughing much too hard at something he had said, her hand resting on his upper arm.
I lunged from the couch, leaving my cup perched on the side table. I was at his side in an instant.
"Fred." I said, plainly, my eyes not leaving the girls smiling ones.
"Cassy!" He grinned, a bit too easily, his eyes looking a bit heavy. They'd all been drinking all night. "Where have you been?" He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in for a kiss which I let go on for a few seconds before pulling away, the dark haired girl rejoining her friends near the fireplace.
"I'm going to head down for bed." I said, watching his face fall at once.
"What?" He shook his head dramatically. "No, no, you're sleeping here."
"No, I want to go to my dorm. You can finish your party though-"
"Cassy." He interrupted, his finger tucking beneath my shirt and rubbing slightly against my hip. "Please stay with me."
I glanced around the room, watching everyone dancing and laughing, watching another firework fly past the window.
"We can go to bed right now if you stay." He begged, jutting out his bottom lip in a pout and I let out a small laugh, nodding and letting him lead us eagerly towards the stairs.
Finally in his dorm, the door shut behind us, I could hear again. The noise from downstairs was still there, but muffled, and you could hear the fireworks every few minutes outside from the cracked window. Fred stepped tipsily towards his dresser, rummaging for some mismatched clothing before falling onto the bed.
"What did George mean earlier?" I blurted, not being able to wait any longer. I watched his eyes flash to mine, panic beneath them.
"You're gonna have to be more specific, love-"
"You haven't told her?" I cut him off. "Told me what?"
I watched him mess with the blankets for a few seconds, not meeting my eyes before he sighed, his shoulders slumping a bit.
"Cassy,"
"You can tell me." My entire body felt cold, goosebumps lining my skin. "Are you breaking up with me?"
"What?" He jumped from the bed, crossing to me, his hands pulling at mine, and I reluctantly let myself be pulled towards him. "Breaking- what, I would never- Cass." His mouth froze into a thin line. "I will never break up with you. If you want to get rid of me, you'll have to do it yourself. And even then, I'm not sure it would work."
I resisted the urge to laugh, settling for a slight smile as I looked up to him.
"Then what can't you tell me?" I asked, still nervous for the answer.
He took in a deep breath and blew it out, painfully slow, as I waited for my answer. He crossed to the window, sitting down on the ledge and watching his fireworks for a few moments.
"I should have told you. Weeks ago. But..." He shook his head, running a hand through his hair as I sat across from him at the window. "Everything's been so terrible. And you're studying and I know OWL's are important to you-"
"Not more important than you, Fred."
He let out a small scoff beneath his breath, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.
"That's why I couldn't tell you." He said, softly.
"Tell me!" I begged, grabbing his hand so he would look at me again.
"George and I... we're leaving. Hogwarts."
I felt like I hadn't moved in minutes, but it could only have been a second or two. Fred's eyes remained latched on my own, watching me closely as if hoping to read my thoughts from my face.
"You're leaving early?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Of course they were. That's what they had meant that night in the hallway. That's why George hadn't cared if they had been caught for the fireworks today.
"We're leaving next week."
"Next week?" I shouted, not caring if anyone could hear me over the roar of the party.
"Cass,"
"You're not leaving next week!" I repeated. "You can't! You wouldn't. How could you not tell me?"
"I don't know, I don't know, I'm sorry." He muttered, reaching out for my arm before I stood up, taking a few steps away from the window.
"I wouldn't have... I would have spent more time with you, I wouldn't have been studying every second, I... how could you not tell me?"
"That's why I didn't tell you." His eyes looked cheerless, despite glowing so vividly downstairs only ten minutes before. "I know you. You want good grades and good OWLs and you were already so stressed out about everything, plus Umbridge."
"I want you more, you idiot." I whispered, watching his mouth turn up into a sad smile.
"Please come here." He cocked his head to the side, motioning for only a second before I was in his arms, my face pressed into his chest, the cool air from the window grazing my arm. "I'm sorry. I was stupid. I'm sorry."
I nodded into his chest in agreement, feeling his whole body shake as he laughed.
"Why do you have to go? You're so close, just finish school. Stay with me." I said softly.
"You know, for once in my life, I wish I could stay at school longer." He answered, settling his chin on my head. "But now... with Dumbledore gone... someone needs to show Umbridge her place. And let's not kid ourselves, our NEWTs were going to be terrible."
"You would have been fine." I countered.
"We're going to start the shop." He continued.
"You're going to... You're really going to?" I asked, a tiny bit of sadness disappearing from my chest as I watched the light return to his eyes.
"Really going to." He smirked. "And it's not long until summer break. You'll be there to help us before you know it."
"Yeah, what help am I going to be? I can't even do magic."
"I can find other uses for you." He winked and I slapped the back of his hand, my jaw dropping with a laugh at his words. "We're hoping to find somewhere downtown, maybe Diagon Alley? Hogsmeade already has Zonko's and we'd hate to run them out of business."
I nodded, turning his fingers over and over in my lap, trying to focus on their store and not my remaining months of school without Fred.
"And hopefully we can find a flat somewhere close by. Nothing crazy, but big enough for the three of us."
I looked up at that. "You're moving out?"
"Well, yeah... I mean, might have to work for a bit to save back up the money, but yeah. Bill, Charlie and Percy are all out, our turn next, right?"
"But..." I didn't know what I was planning to say next. How had I never thought this far ahead? Going from being with Fred every day at school, at the Burrow. Obviously I knew I wouldn't be at Hogwarts with him next year, but I had always thought I would come home to him on Holidays.
"You're coming with us." He shook his head at me, as if reading my mind.
"Coming to live with you?" I repeated with a laugh.
"Why not? You've been doing it for years."
"If Molly doesn't kill you both for dropping out early," I started, "She won't want you and I... I mean... I never thought about this. This is awful, Fred! You're going to give me a stroke."
"Cassidy." He laughed, leaning back against the wooden frame of the window. "There's nothing to stress about. Finish the school year, get your outstanding's, and then get home. To me."
"I'll think about it." I answered, finally, turning towards the window now and watching the last of the fireworks flit through the air outside, leaning my head against Fred's shoulder and taking a deep breath. "But if I come, I'm paying rent."
"I might hold you to that." He chuckled, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me closer, neither of us minding the time, nor the fact that we had class in just a few hours.
I sat against the rough bark of one of the trees, Bri scribbling notes next to me while Hannah's leg bounced nervously on my other side. It was good to be back with them, even if it was by necessity. I had been feeling guilty over the amount of time I had been spending with Fred the last few days, even ignoring homework and studying, much to Bri's surprise.
Finally, the greenhouse doors flew open and Maddie joined us, flipping her long hair behind her as she stood before us.
"Well?" Bri looked up at to her, a small smile hinting at her lips. "What'd she say?"
"Marry rich." Maddie shrugged, dropping to the ground next to the three of us.
"She did not say 'Marry rich.' I laughed.
"Mm... maybe not in so many words. But it's better than any of those jobs she suggested!" She admitted, rolling her eyes slightly. "Archivist, shop keeper, broadcasting,"
"You'd be good at that one. Lots of talking." Bri teased, her eyes back on her notes again.
"Miss Abbot! I'm ready when you are, dear." Professor Sprout poked her face out of the doorway with a smile as Hannah climbed onto her shaky legs.
"Hannah, it's going to be fine, we love Sprout!" I gave her a funny look, although we were all used to Hannah's insane nerves after this year.
The blonde walked through the glass doorway and we watched as the figures disappeared into Sprout's office near the back before Maddie spoke again.
"That girl's going to have a stroke by June." She sighed, leaning against the tree and examining her nails one by one.
"When are the twins leaving, Cass?" Bri spoke, setting her notes down for a moment.
I blinked, looking at my friends after a few seconds. It had come to no surprise to any of them when I had mentioned the Weasley's plan to leave school, despite how surprising it had been to me.
"This week." I started picking at my own fingernails now as I felt the familiar anxiety prickle into my chest. "Could be tonight. I don't think they even know. I feel like sometimes they're just waiting for the right moment and they'll decide then and there."
Bri nodded, shooting me a sad smile.
"I'm sorry." She answered, going back to her notes, although her pen wasn't moving as quickly anymore.
"I can't believe he won't stay for you, honestly." Maddie said, tapping each fingernail with her wand a few times, pulling away to examine the color before changing it again.
"He would." Bri chuckled. "He so would."
"No, they've made up their minds. And they've been thinking about it a while-"
"Yes, but Cassidy." Bri shot me a playful glance. "It's you. And it's Fred. You don't need him to stay, he knows that. If you needed him, really needed him, he would stay."
She was right. As Bri always was. I didn't need him to stay. Like he had said, it was only a few months. Weeks really. And yes, I could hardly remember my time at Hogwarts without Fred. It was arguably the most stressful year, and the most stressful time for him to leave. Umbridge was making everyone's time a living hell. Yes, he was the only one I wanted to see at any given moment, but I would be fine without him. And I would be back with him in June.
"He asked me to move in with him." I blurted now, needing to talk to someone about it at last. "Him and George."
"What?" Maddie jumped, her head flying towards me, her nails a mix up of three different colors.
"This summer?" Bri, usually so unfazed now wore a wide-eyed expression to match Maddie's.
"Yeah." I laughed out the word. It was insane. I was fifteen.
"That's so romantic!" Maddie sank to the grass, her head falling in my lap dramatically before I shoved her off.
"Shove off!" I laughed. "With him and his brother, it's not like we're buying a place together."
"Are you going to?" Bri asked, watching me with a knowing look.
"I don't know..." I admitted, looking between the girls and ignoring Maddie's outraged expression. "I mean... Part of me feels like I should, because... I mean, aside from the fact that I just really want to, but I feel guilty just taking up space living with the Weasley's. It was so nice of them to take me in, but staying there without Fred would feel like I was really a free-loader."
"So, great. You're moving in. Oh my God, you guys are going to throw the best parties! Maybe we'll finally get to hang out over break this year." Maddie started planning.
"So what's stopping you from going?" Bri spoke over Maddie.
"I don't know... I guess... I mean, we're so young. Or, I guess, I'm so young. He's of age. I just... what if he gets sick of me, and then I have no where to go? Maybe I should just get my own place first and learn how to be an adult-"
"Like he's going to get sick of you," Bri rolled her eyes.
"Like he's going to let you live alone!" Maddie laughed, the high pitch sound echoing over the forest. "He wouldn't let you sleep alone across the Great Hall under Dumbledore's supervision two years ago!"
"Great point, Maddie, plus 100 to Hufflepuff." Bri joked as the greenhouse door slid open, a much smilier Hannah returning to our group.
"Well?" Maddie shook her head, expectantly.
"She says I'm doing great, and that it's okay to be stressed, everyone gets nervous, and that she thinks with some hard work I could make a great Healer."
"She's right." Bri shut her books at last, shoving them all neatly into her bag as she stood to her feet. "My turn."
"There she goes, ladies. Our future Minister of Magic." Maddie teased, just loud enough for Bri to hear.
"They'll come up with something better than that for Bri!" Hannah laughed along.
"MFMAMA," I suggested. "Minister for Magic and Muggles Alike."
Before the doors shut on her, we watched Bri raise one finger towards us behind her back.
The crowd of red hair stood out from across the library so badly that I wasn't sure how anyone was getting any work done. Pair that with the hissing whispers from the four Weasley's, Harry and Hermione and I was betting Madam Pince would be throwing them out any second. I crossed over towards them, Ginny catching my eye as I got closer, a smile lighting up her face.
"Cass! There you are!" She gestured towards a large basket filled with intricately designed chocolate eggs. "Mum sent them, they've just made it through Umbridge customs." She rolled her eyes, handing me an egg, and I smiled, imagining Molly at home enchanting each of these.
I looked towards Fred, an unusual smile plastered on his face as his eyes met mine. I felt the smile fall from my face at once. I knew. They were leaving.
He stood from his seat, everyone's eyes following him over to me as he leaned down closer to my ear.
"Walk with me?"
I nodded, letting him steer us towards the exit as we began our walk, my heart feeling heavy and dull. He didn't speak for a few minutes, which made the feeling even worse. I just wanted him to say the words. Say the final day he and George would be here with me.
"You decided?"
"Hmm?" He looked to me, as if he had been deep in thought this whole time.
"You decided? When you're leaving?"
He scratched his eyebrow nervously, then ran his fingers through his hair which was getting a bit long now after Molly's last cut over the summer.
"Yeah." He finally spoke.
I nodded a few times, wishing the feeling in my chest would evaporate. You knew this was coming, he told you. It's going to be fine.
"When, Freddie?" I asked, pulling on his arm to stop us from our lap around the school, wanting to see the beautiful brown eyes I wasn't going to get to look at again for weeks.
I watched his lips move twice before any sound came out until finally he spoke. "Bloody hell, I can't." He chuckled, running his hands through his hair again and looking up towards the ceiling. "I can't. I'm not. I'm not going, I'll go tell George right now."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, feeling more confused than ever, grabbing his arms to keep him there with me.
"I can't." Fred said, decidedly. "I can't leave you." He stepped a few inches closer and grabbed each side of my face in his hands, pulling my face nearer to his, pressing his lips against mine violently.
"Fred," I giggled, pulling away at last, everything inside me screaming at me not to ruin this. "What do you mean you're not going. We talked about this, you really want this. You were excited."
"I can't, Cassy. I haven't dreaded something so much since... since... I don't even know, since ever. I can't wake up every day for the next two months and not get to see you. Or hear your voice. Or touch you..." His fingers dragged softly down my jaw and I forced myself to ignore the shiver I felt run up my spine.
"Freddie..." I spoke softly, perhaps hoping he wouldn't hear. "You don't want to stay."
"No, but-"
"You want to go. You've wanted to go for a long time. You'll regret it if you stay."
"Come with me." I had never heard his voice sound this way. Whiney, begging.
"You know I can't." I looked to the floor, not being able to stand the way his eyes were digging into me.
"You can." He pulled my face back up to his own. "I'll take care of you, Cass. School doesn't matter. You're too smart for it anyway. I promise, I promise, the shop is going to take off, I'll have everything we ever need, you won't have to work ever, we can just be together... all the time."
I let out a small laugh as he finished his rant and watched the clarity return to his eyes slowly.
"I know the shop is going to take off. I know you're going to be great. I know that." I smiled, feeling warmth line beneath my eyes. "I want to finish school, Freddie. I want to learn everything. I don't know what I want to do, but I want to have the option."
He nodded a few times, his eyes not leaving my own.
"Besides," I grabbed for his warm hand in the chilly hallways. "You're going to be so busy, you won't even have time to miss me."
"I wish you were right." He glared, a smile poking out from his lips.
I let us stand in silence for a few seconds more, scared that if I opened my mouth too soon, I would take it all back. Tell him to stay. Tell him that I would go with him.
"When?"
"Tomorrow."
I felt the weight fall back into my stomach, but I ignored it, keeping the small smile on my face.
"Tomorrow." I repeated, looking to the ground, pretending to check the laces on my shoes.
"So," Fred nudged my arm to get us walking again, "We'll just have to make tonight enough to last us two months, huh?"
I grinned through another laugh as we started up the stairs, already closest to the Gryffindor dorms.
"Fine, but you'd better get some extra blankets this time, it's bloody freezing up there."
"Merlin, our place is going to be as hot as a dragon's pit, isn't it?"
"What?" I frowned, looking over to him as we neared the portrait hole.
"Our place. Me, you and George." He answered, as if that was finalized.