Chapter 22:
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""""Surprise!!!!""""
The blaring uproar nearly shattered my ears. It gave me a jolt. There was a pop right after and I was showered in something. As my hand loosened its grip on the plastic bag, I responded with a simple:
"Heh?"
My body froze up alongside my brain and nerves. For a moment, everything went blank. It wasn't dark, rather, pure white. Nothing was clicking. My face said it all. I had already blinked about five times now, yet I still couldn't make up a single sentence. But there was something that unconsciously came out of me.
"Ah."
"Late reaction! Late reaction!!"
Komachi flailed her arms in protest. Adorable, but I couldn't focus on that. After all, here I was, sprinkled messy in confetti with Komachi, Yuigahama, Isshiki, and even that "thing" all in front of me.
"Uh...what's...this...about?"
"Are you really that slow? I'm disappointed, Osogaya-kun."
She massaged her temple. Even though I knew she had no reason to, I could imagine that she only did it to spite me even more. "Don't put slow on my name!" I wanted to retort. "It worked! Alright?" At any rate, in a way, she was right.
"C'mon, Hikki, we're celebrating! It's your birthday!"
"I...see..."
(That? That's the reason?)
It made me eye-twitch. There I was, just mildly reacting. Stupid pretend ninja. I wanted to face palm. But...wait...
"Uh...you're two days early..."
"Onii-chan, we call it a 'surprise 'for a reason. 'Do it when they don't expect it' y'know? I called them over, and now here we are. So, did we surprise you?"
I couldn't rebut. Actually, I applauded them in my head. But there was also something that came up in realization.
"Wait, then...me buying the book..."
"Yukino-san and I had a chat, she was there, it was the perfect chance, so I called her up to-"
"Stall for time?"
"Well, yes. Sorry, it was either that or the 'Taishi plan'. Ugh...that one could've been a disaster. But I did want that book. Anyway, how was it?"
I felt back-stabbed, actually, no, but still. I gave Yukinoshita a perplexed look, a stupefied look, one that said "What the hell?" The haggardness and confusion in my eyes expressed everything.
"You were in on this?"
"Quite the spectacle."
(But...wait...back then, why was she...back then, it didn't feel out of place...)
I glanced at her again and then, I was met with a mild grin.
(Nice acting. Touché.)
I slouched a bit. My lips locked, almost to the point of biting them. It would've been pointless to stay there any longer, but she really did make me want to stay for a bit. And when I met her again...
(You...got off your bike...fool...)
(*Sigh*)
I pinched the bridge of my nose. They all waited for me to say something and with all of that out of the way, I finally had a moment to think. But ultimately, I didn't need to.
"Uhh...Thanks, but no need."
"Hikki!"
"Senpai!"
"Um, wait, let's first sit-"
"Onii-chan."
But Komachi's abrupt cut-off put the room into pure silence. Nobody dared to open their mouths. For a moment, it felt as if time had stopped. But right after, all of our eyes went to her.
She had her head down. I couldn't see her face. Her call was abrupt and because of that, I had to listen.
"Can you...say that again?"
Her voice had lukewarm curiosity yet, most notably, it sounded too monotonous. But, that wasn't a concern right now. She asked, didn't she? She did, and as surreal as everything felt, I just had to answer.
"I'm saying..."
I scratched my head nonchalantly for no reason. It was a little hard trying to pull the words out. But I just had to.
"You...didn't need to do this..."
I imagined her hitting me while making that adorable pout or another cutesy protest-but no, that wasn't it at all. I glanced at her again. And then, I felt something...wrong.
She still wasn't looking at me, or anyone. Her head was down, her hair was long enough to cover her face.
I thought of what was about to happen, but I wasn't getting anything. Though, I did have options. She either could've been mildly mad, or absolutely livid. She also might've just been down in the dumps. I just couldn't be sure.
And then, just then, with one long, drawn-out sigh and a few seconds later, she whispered something under her breath.
"No good, huh."
Her words had my attention. All ears. I was trying to figure it out, but I put it on hold. The anticipation and not knowing kept me from even thinking. It was driving me to a breaking point. That was until she slowly lifted her head, closed her eyes and clasped her hands.
"Well then, let's pack it all up."
...She...said that in a cheery tone...as if everything was back to normal. As if she was back to normal. I stared at her blankly with my mouth slightly open and eyebrows furrowed. I couldn't exactly tell, but it felt wrong.
And I wasn't alone on that.
Everyone had the same look as me. Even if Yukinoshita was quick in her return to her calm demeanor, the fact that she lost it for a second was already making it feel worse. As for him, surprisingly, he recovered right after her.
But enough about them.
"Yukino-san, Yui-san, Iroha-san, thanks for helping me make the food."
I still had to worry about that. That, that, that! I couldn't even tell what it was anymore. Something that normally wouldn't be wrong felt wrong.
I desperately racked my head. I wanted to form my answer. I thought about whether there was anything to it.
"Taishi-kun, thanks for helping me prepare all this."
I felt like it would click at any second, but it hadn't.
"Everyone, thanks for coming today. I'll take care of everything myself."
"K-Komachi-chan, what are you talking about...?"
Yuigahama frantically asked. Of course she felt it, and just like me, her mind was racing. But unlike me, her intent felt clear.
"Well, you heard him, right?"
Heard? Me? With each sentence it became clear, and at the same time, it didn't. A million more questions were stacked up. I had a glance of Yukinoshita, and even she couldn't pinpoint it.
But, since I was me, I couldn't be oblivious. And just like that, something finally clicked.
"He said 'no thanks', right?"
And that...THAT WAS IT. I desperately tried. But in the end, she spelled it out herself. And now that I had it, it came rushing in me. That heavy anchoring in my chest was something.
Something I was terrified of.
"He said 'no'...right?"
That something that I didn't want to come to life was coming to life.
And, dreadfully, it already had.
For that slight tremble should've been a loud, lively cheer instead. That would've been better. But no, it wasn't that.
No matter how much she tried, she couldn't hide it from me. But I didn't want to see it, I wanted to tell her to cut it out. That ugly frown didn't suit her.
"He...doesn't want it...right?"
Her voice struck like a spear through the heart and I felt like getting bashed with a bat over and over again as my bones broke. Even more so when it played in my head again and again.
What's more, when it unveiled itself upon me, when the thing broke into my train of thought and invaded, I couldn't get rid of it. I could deny it all I want, it wouldn't change anything, for I was the fault. It was me.
And I wanted to scream out loud. I wanted to scream until my vocal cords broke.
But that'd be pointless, and that alone gave me another ache in the chest.
Where it all came down to was simple. What I had done...was play right into her worries.
It was shameful. It was absolutely pathetic.
Just from that, I felt like I couldn't breathe. That's what I made it out to be. I just wanted to vomit blood and drop on the floor. But no, I couldn't be lenient.
And it wasn't some normal quarrel. There wasn't any argument. It was blatantly obvious who fucked up.
And the thing was: everyone else seemed to have caught on. But because of me and the air around us, nobody could move, everyone was merely on the sidelines. I didn't want them to move. I didn't want them to do anything.
It was our problem-No, my problem. The fact of the matter was, I just didn't want anyone butting into my mess.
Because I wanted to make my choice. I, for all my cowardice, wanted to fix it. And so, I asked myself many things. Like a self-interrogation, I just had to be honest.
Did I actually mean those words? I felt my throat throb. As if needles were stuck in them, but that was merely a pitiful excuse as even when my lips parted, I couldn't make a sound. Half Assed punk.
The answer was so simple, so obvious. It was just the exact opposite of it all, really. I asked myself, one more time. Did I want to do it? Did I want to say it? Did I want to make amends? Did I want to be honest? Definitely.
With that, I made my conclusion. Something that should've been so clear and simple wound up getting delayed. But, at least, it was made.
"Well...party's over..."
That must've been hard. I knew from her bitter tone. That's why, I wouldn't let go of it, my chance.
"It's over-"
"Komachi."
I lowered my head as I did that. I couldn't bring myself to shout, but I knew I had to make it loud and clear. I clenched my teeth. I knew it wasn't gonna be easy.
*Sigh*
Yet still, every time I thought about it, I wondered whether or not I even deserved it. It didn't matter, all I had to do was just do it.
I didn't need pretty words. All I needed was to convey it.
All I wanted...was to say:
"I'm sorry..."
And I just did, but I felt they weren't enough.
"I...didn't mean it..."
She subtly put on a small, comforted smile. But even still, her eyes weren't on me, they were on the floor. Her hand held her other arm with trembling little fingers.
"I-It's...alright."
She wasn't. I could tell that she still had a lingering sense of chagrin even with what I said. It wasn't her fault. Rather, it'd be mine for causing all of this.
*Sigh*
And then, I thought about it. I was about to get even more selfish. Shameless. What could I do exactly? Not allow her worries to run deep; let her know that her efforts were never in vain.
I glanced at the table. I saw a box of pizza, and suddenly, I started spewing it out.
"You bought those...right?"
My eyes were still on it as I uttered so. Next, I glanced at the other side of the table.
"And those..."
When I directed my eyes to some prepared food, I knew where they were from.
"Those're yours, right?"
I may have sounded a little enthusiastic, and I don't know how I did it either.
"Homemade?"
But that tone started to change, it started to sound a little bit more strained, a little bit more distressed. A little bit more desperate. It was downright sickening.
I didn't need Yukinoshita's judgmental stare to tell me so. Even so, all I wanted to do at that moment was to give it a shot. I was gonna do anything and everything.
"Well...we can't let it go to waste..."
Whether I needed to get beat up or have a gun to my head. Whether I had to give away all my assets and get on my knees. If it meant having me say the words I really wanted to say.
"So..."
If it meant mending the everyday world I so nonchalantly almost broke...then...by all means, I was gonna do it. Any day of the week.
"...will you let Onii-chan...have a bite?"
Her lips were shaking, mine as well. At that point, I didn't even know what was going to happen. I clenched both my teeth and fists, bracing myself for something.
And in that brief moment of silence; in my skyrocketing anticipation, there! There was her face. With a single droplet that flowed from her eye as her mouth was agape and her eyes were wide.
"Really...?"
And that timid mumble under her breath whilst her lips began to form something different, I caught it all. For that small, small smile, was the sliver of hope I desperately tried to hold on to, by saying:
"Yeah."
Whether she wanted more reassurance, it didn't matter, I was gonna give it to her, no matter how many times she asked. I was gonna say it. Until she was fed up, hopefully not.
"Onii-chan. Thank you."
I let out a small, dry giggle. Oh, stop. It was...I had a feeling that it wasn't over with just that, that the strain had already been made, nonetheless.
"Thank you."
I wasn't gonna let it get to me right now, after all, I did it. I actually did it. I felt painfully happy. It was a bone crushing feeling that slowly felt lighter. I could breathe easily now.
"Aww."
Yuigahama sniffed, wiping off an actual tear whilst Isshiki patted her, for no reason other than a gesture.
(What? Were you actually?)
"Indeed, that was quite the tearjerker."
When she said that, I unconsciously felt irked and even without staring at her. I knew she knew that I knew.
(Ughh, don't even try, woman.)
"Alright!!"
Out of nowhere.
"Let's start!!"
Her fist rocketed through the air as her smile curved its way up to her ears. I only thought of one thing.
(Precious.)
She went to the table. Guess it was time. Also, I realized I dropped it, but when I kneeled to the ground to grab it, it was gone.
"And here I was wondering if there was going to be enough, thanks for this~ Senpai~"
In the midst of her cheerful exclamation she placed the cans inside the freezer. There really was something off from seeing her, here, going around and touching my stuff. Just the thought of her going in my room gave me the heebie jeebies.
Just to her right, Komachi, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were prepping up. The table was set with an array of dishes. And from a quick glance alone, there seemed to be two types: Ones that came in boxes or bags and others that were already plated. The latter had a homely feel about them that made me love them even more.
I continued staring. They were in my home. My home, in turn, was livelier than usual. Everything still hadn't sunken in yet, but I wasn't forcing anything, at all. I just wondered.
(All of this...can I even say it's fair? Can I even say it's earned?)
I already accepted it. It was merely contemplation.
Without me noticing, Yuigahama tugged at my sleeve and so a "Hmm?" escaped from me.
"C'mon Hikki, today's your day."
Her cheeks puffed a bit as she gave a ferocious glare, or what seemed like an imitation of it. Her pouting was definitely not on-par with Komachi's, but still, points for the attempt.
"You should just do one thing."
Her stare then turned neutral.
"Yeah? And what's that?"
After that, her stare changed again, it turned into something moist and cheery.
"Heehee, smile."
She whispered softly near my ear. As everyone else was at the table, cutting and slicing up the meals, I glanced at Yuigahama once more. For a while, there was nothing but silence, I blinked a couple times, turned my gaze to different corners, and finally, I took a lengthy breath, and as I glanced at her again, I nodded.
I marched to the table. I couldn't wait anymore. You'd either have to be overly privileged or have bad taste to not want all this. And I surely wasn't either.
"Onii-chan, what would you like?"
(Everything.)
If I could, I definitely would. But, I wanted to start with something simple.
"I'll have...one of Komachi's finest."
"Hehehe, what's with that? Alright, one special plate of Gyoza, made with love and Komachi points."
I had the desire to jump up and down and shout like a kid. But Yukinoshita-san was right beside me.
I received the plate from her, and every step of the way, I was unnaturally careful about it. It wasn't like it was gonna fall, it wasn't like someone was gonna take it. If something did happen, I could always just get more, but the fact that she made it and gave it to me, made me want to hold it like fine china. With all of that out the way, I sat on the sofa as I placed it above the small desk. Package secured.
I eyed it down with a grumbling stomach. The whiff of ground beef was making my nose tingle.
(5 hours. No food. Must eat. Now.)
And once I took a piece, I was engrossed in the flavors. The juicy interior coupled with the chewy exterior had me continuing to munch. Goddamn, I couldn't stop. I was already gonna go for the next bite, but then:
"Here, Senpai~"
Isshiki held a beer in front of me. I didn't wait a second longer and took it.
"Thanks."
She just gave me a smile and went back to the table, returning to her place in their chit chat cog machine. Perhaps they knew I wouldn't try so they didn't even bother. I appreciated it.
*Pssst*
"Ah, such a wonderful tune." I thought. As I brought it to my lips, I immediately began chugging it. I'd managed to drink half of it in one go.
"Puuhaaa."
I laid back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. I could finally catch my breath in full, but I knew it wasn't finished.
(*Sigh*...)
"Happy birthday."
I glanced to my left, seeing Yukinoshita sitting there. I closed my eyes and swallowed the Gyoza, and took a second before I spoke.
"Thanks..."
"That shouldn't be for me."
"No, it is."
She went quiet right after, though, that hint of a smile on her lips left me feeling slightly coy. Goddamnit. She held a glass of iced tea with two hands, it had a lemon-slice and mint leaf on top. I had an image of her at a beach side just sitting on a sun lounger in my head.
Seconds passed, and she finally took a sip from its straw. Her lips were glossy. Tangent. Tangent.
"Not really a drinker, huh."
I blurted, and shoved some gyoza right after.
"It's better that way."
She softly giggled and gave me a glance that I didn't like, then she took another sip. It was condescending.
"By your standards, I may be dying. But by mine, my liver's not failing me anytime soon."
I didn't feel all hoity-toity. I just felt old.
"Your words."
There you have it, Yukinoshita in a nutshell. I took a sip, she took a sip. And just like that, it was over-
"Also..."
"Hmm?"
Her whisper was low, regardless, I was close enough to hear it. And so, I waited for her next words. It came in the form of an:
"...only occasionally."
I silently puffed in exhaustion. My sluggish snicker came out as I glanced at her.
"What, gotta have a jab at me first?"
She did that thing with her hair where she gently flipped it backwards, and right after, she looked at me with a soft smile.
"It's more fun that way."
(For you.)
Goddamn woman. I looked away from her, and just stuffed my mouth with food.
By the time I had my eighth Gyoza, I knew it wasn't enough, so while I was at it, I took three slices of pizza. How long has it been? 3 months since? I started to miss Danny's Pizzeria.
I glanced at the table. Ah, Komachi's smile, my dopamine. And as soon as he put his hand on top of hers, that dopamine was now lost.
"Taishi-kun, you've got sauce on your face again."
"Oh, my bad."
I stared with eyes sharp as an eagle, fixated on her as she wiped his lips with a tissue, their faces were close to one another, as both of them giggled.
"Oh, c'mon, you two. Doing that thing again?"
Even Yuigahama's teasing didn't pull me away from those glaring at those two. They continued, drinking, eating, acting like they were in a world of their own.
I wanted to rip him apart, hack him off, put him in a barrel and fill it with concrete. I honestly just wanted to whack the prick.
"Do you really love him that much?"
I glanced at her, her eyes were closed. She silently took a sip.
"Yeah."
Whatever she was starting, I didn't try to get out of it. Instead, I thought of playing charades with her for a while.
"He can feel it, you know that?"
"Exactly."
I closed my eyes and took a sip. She had that neutral stare.
"And that's still not enough?"
"Yup."
But of course, it'd only escalate in a way that was somewhat predictable.
"And you're still planning on continuing?"
"Yup."
"Why so?"
I took another sip. She continued to only stare at me that way. I felt like a vein was popping in my head. I knew for sure she wouldn't stop. That's why, in a brief whisper, it came out of me.
"I'll never accept it."
I didn't glance at her, but I'd imagine she had her eyes closed again.
"I'm not surprised..."
There it was. When it came to something like this, all I had to do was say something. She knew me, and I knew her. And my stance was clear, or at least not wavering.
"But, you know you can't do anything, now, don't you?"
When I heard that, with that strong, knowing tone of hers, I couldn't help but sigh.
"Unfortunately."
The sigh I let out dragged on, while having that raspy trace on my voice.
"You say that, yet you still do it. It's pointless."
I closed my eyes.
"I know."
As I pinched the bridge of my nose, as I further slouched down, I just couldn't hide or try anything. No matter how good of a liar I was, it was pointless in the end.
"Tell me, is it incompetence? Ill intent?"
"Neither."
He was too mellow for the latter. I didn't wanna explain anything, say anything. That's why this'd been dragging when it shouldn't. She sighed.
"Then what kind of unreasonable answer should I expect from you?"
I didn't answer. I didn't look her way. I heard a slight noise from her. Her skin rubbing, I suppose. Maybe she was massaging her temple. Once more, I heard something, possibly a long sigh.
"Do you feel a sense of righteousness?"
"Are you joking?"
My eyes even widened as those words entered my ears. Righteousness my ass. That kind of twisted thinking wasn't my kind. And I knew she knew that. She probably only did it just to make me realize that that's how it sounded. But, instead of going there once again, she asked me something different.
"Then, what do you feel?"
That, that...I clenched my teeth. I was gonna snap. And even if she could tell, even with all that directed at her, she didn't falter. Her calm and composed self was kept intact.
I could no longer count my sighs. I was starting to get fed up with the questions, actually. That's why, I glared at her whilst blurting:
"Why do you even care?"
"Am I not allowed to?"
I didn't reply, instead, I closed my eyes and took a sip. If I hadn't said those words, then somehow, I felt that this exchange of words would've been even more one-sided than it already was.
But, maybe I was fine with that-
"A week ago...Komachi-san told me of her plans..."
I instantly focused on her.
"...and then she talked about you and him."
Oh, so that was why...but, wait, since she knew some things, "Does that mean she knows everything?" I wondered, worried, and hoped that wasn't the case.
"Did she tell you why?"
"No..."
Deep inside me, I breathed a sigh of relief. I could breathe easily.
"...but from the few things I've heard..."
Except, not. I focused on what she had to say next.
"I understand that you two have quite the friendship."
She definitely already knew. That light giggling tone didn't help.
"Really funny."
"But it is getting on your nerves, is it not?"
She placed her fingers gently on her chin, as her firm little smile got me to irk even more. With that, I nonchalantly answered:
"I don't know. It's just making this a little more..."
And with a sharply directed stare, I slowly uttered:
"...pleasant."
When I was done, I turned away and took a sip. All I wanted at this moment was to just eat.
"I may not know everything and you may think I'm overly prying...but you need to understand..."
A "hmm?" sound escaped my breath as I gazed at the kind of look she was giving out.
"I'm merely doing this for her sake."
It was melancholic, in a way. Or at least, that's how it made me feel. I didn't know, I couldn't tell. That was merely the surface level idea that I understood. But one thing's for sure.
"You love my sister that much, huh?"
As she raised an eyebrow on that, her eyes narrowed.
"Was that supposed to be condescending?"
"No. It was supposed to be a 'Thank you'."
"Well, consider it well received."
Her content smile meant something. It meant that it was condescending, and it meant that it really was "well received."
That's why I thought it really was the case. Not gonna lie, I felt lighter around my chest for that. Someone's little sister being an older sister to someone else's little sister, now wasn't that peachy.
"Now...all that's left...is for you to say it in your own words."
She whispered ever so solemnly. And as if the entire world went mute but her, her words echoed in my ears. I took another sip. It was already the second can, and I took a deep breath as I stared at it. My face was reflecting on it. And in it, I saw a face slightly distorted.
Only she would hear the things I uttered.
"About that..."
The grimace on my face was well kept, hidden enough that no one would come up to ask if there was anything wrong. It was just the two of us.
"Yes?"
She replied as if she was waiting for me to find the answer myself. Let me tell you, Yukinoshita.
"I see..."
"...uncertainty."
I glanced back at her. And wouldn't you know it, her eyes narrowed sharply, yet the drop of those eyebrows felt so sullen.
"I should've known."
She looked the other way, completely avoiding eye contact. As much as she showed a plethora of emotions, mixed and conflicting with one another, still, I knew that that was coming. It stung a little bit more than I thought.
After all, that was it. That feeling of uncontrollable-ness, the fear that something, anything, could go wrong. And that he wasn't an exception.
Considering that she and she alone would always have the final word in this, made me feel like I really was a useless deadweight.
"And, after saying that..."
She didn't look my way, but that bitter tone was enough for me to imagine the look she had right now.
"...what do you think that will amount to?"
(Well...then...obviously, it's something I wouldn't say to anyone, much less to them...the answer's something petty...it's something pathetic...after all...it's...)
"Something useless."
"And then, after admitting to it, what comes next?"
Her tone wasn't a drastic change, even still, that uplifting tone, or perhaps, that tone that was telling me to "Get up." was appreciated.
After all, she knew. It was something Komachi had already asked of me, but the stubborn bastard that I was, didn't do it. It was:
"Something so simple, but so..."
I gritted my teeth.
"...unorthodox of me..."
Even though I couldn't see her face, I could still imagine her looking down on me in triumph, but at the same time, it wasn't that. Fucking hell, that strict yet motherly thing about her was déjà vu.
"Is that so? Well, it seems your comprehension skills have improved."
Instead of irking, instead of giving her the sour face, I closed my eyes and shut my mouth. I didn't retort. I didn't retaliate. I didn't rebut. After all, it was just: A bitter pill, but a pill nonetheless.
Once I opened them again, I stared at the can I held, gently rubbing it. As I took one deep, silent breath, I slowly stood up. My footsteps lumbered, I felt like I had rocks on my shoulders.
I went up to the table, as they laid all their eyes on me. I was directly in front of him, glaring at him.
"Oi."
"U-Uh, yes?"
"Onii-chan."
It wasn't loud, but she definitely tried to command me. She really glared at me. She kept turning her head from side to side. It felt like at any second, she was gonna say "No" or something. Was she really serious? I couldn't deny that.
When it came to him, he was stuttering. It couldn't be helped after all, even I'd do the same if I was him. "What made him do it?" I wondered. If I was him, I'd definitely try to convince them that I'd be busy. If I was him, I'd definitely leave by now. If I was him...but...
(I'm not...)
I definitely wouldn't...and that's the thing, between him and I...
(This is where I ended up...)
My heartbeat was steady. I bit hard on my teeth, and kept them completely shut. I was practically bracing myself for this "stunt". The stunt of a lifetime for all this bullshit.
I kneeled on the floor. Everyone's faces flinched. I could still see them, I could tell, even she wasn't unfazed.
Next, slowly, surely, in a matter of seconds, I bowed. My hands went flat on the ground and my forehead directly hit the floor.
"For punching you, I apologize."
It wasn't too loud, but I made sure to put some power in it. All I could see was the floor, I couldn't see them at all, but I could already picture it. Three. Two. One.
"Fueh!? Hikki did WHA!?!?"
"Senpai!?"
(Geh...)
As deafening as it was, it was expected nonetheless. The idea of Yuigahama's confused swirling eyes popped up in my head. This was all I could manage right now, but I did it. All that's left was up to him. Would he-
"O-Oh-please! It's okay now!!"
"Huh? No, fool, I need to do this."
This humble son of a-
"Really! I'm serious! It's alright now!"
"Let a man do this!"
Woah...I almost raised my voice there. I didn't mean to be threatening, but it really appeared like I was forcing it.
"I forgive you! Ok?"
(*Sigh*)
(............)
"You sure?"
"Yes. After all..."
He started scratching his cheek.
"I can understand why you'd do it. I'd do the same."
(This guy...this absolute-)
"Alright, Onii-chan, you can stop doing that."
Like an irritated parent saying "Alright, fun's over" Komachi made an actual order. Commanding as she may've been, I wouldn't, not yet.
"Just a bit more."
"Huh!?"
It may have come off as plain and simple to others, but, the truth was, I was doing it for another reason. It was something I wouldn't tell anyone, not even her. I also did it to make amends and straighten things out, for sure, but that was only the tip of it.
"I'm done."
I deemed it as enough. They'd probably pull me up themselves if I stayed any longer. So I raised my head and looked at her, dead in the eyes. "I did it." That was what my eyes were trying to tell. I also did something for him. As I stared him down, I did one, slow nod. He's probably smart enough to figure it out. I tried to stand up but before I could, Komachi walked up to me and gave me a pat.
Even if it were merely on my shoulder, I felt the warmth all throughout my body, both in sensation and feel, it was real. Added even more as I looked up and saw one hell of a bright smile. Her teeth weren't showing, but even so, I'd forever remember that smile.
*Ring*
"Oooh! It's here!"
Though that hand was quickly taken off me as she dashed to the door. By the time I stood up she was already out of sight. Did she order something?
(Whatever you want, Komachi.)
I wanted another beer, and while Isshiki was standing next to the fridge, she was giving me those weird glances.
"What?"
She gave me a wink and a sly glance.
"Senpai~ you bad boy~"
That was weird. The way she said it was weird and it was off putting.
"Yeah, yeah."
Still, I opened the fridge and took a can, ignoring her. That's when something from behind gave me a chill, it was...a stare. Not Isshiki, Yuigahama wasn't here, she probably went to the door as well. So I perused my surroundings. He was busy in his chair, drinking. Also, he definitely wouldn't try, not unless he wanted to get his comeuppance.
But then who? I got the answer when I glanced at her.
The way she stared at me was...I couldn't put it into words. I couldn't get a read on it, I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't figure her out. I couldn't understand that blank stare.
"Ara~"
Forget Yukinoshita, my Hikky senses tingled, so hard my eyes almost went bloodshot. I, for some reason, remembered that voice...somewhat.
(Her? Probably? HER? No? What if it was...why though? I just don't see it...wait...Where'd they make the food? His place? That's...who else...hers? Maybe, maybe...but also...Yuigahama...she went to the door...then...wait...)
(!!!!!!! Don't tell me!)
In the blink of an eye, all the dots connected in my mind.
"Hi, Hikki-kun~"
(Gahamama!!)
When she popped into view, I realized something. Even with my busted eyesight, without a shadow of a doubt, I could confirm one thing:
(Young!)
(How!?)
(Praise genetics!!!)
"Hikki-kun~ Happy birthday~"
"Ah, yes, thank you very much."
Her motherly aura compelled me to use the most Keigo words I could spout. My body tensed. In front of real...maturity, all I could do was stand up straight like a good boy.
And also...I couldn't help but snicker when I compared those two. Oh, how unfavored she must've been by the Gods of Genetics or whoever was in charge of that stuff.
"You should join us."
Yuigahama came in with a medium sized box, as Komachi and Gahamama held each other's hands.
"Sorry, Komachi-chan, but I have a drama waiting for me."
While Komachi did seem a little let down, she brushed it off with a beaming smile.
"Well, thank you for everything and see you next time!"
"No problem, Komachi-chan. Bye bye~ Everyone."
"Bye-bye!"
"See you later, Mama."
"Bye-bye Hikki-kun~"
"Ah, yes."
I bowed slightly, it was merely a polite sendoff. I couldn't help it. Anyone in my shoes would've done the exact same. When she left, I felt as if there was an empty void inside me. I missed her already.
To combat that feeling, I went to the table to see what they brought.
"And that's...?"
"We made it at Yui-san's parent's place. We kinda forgot to bring it...teehee~"
(Oh...so that's why she's been texting...)
After she set it on the table, she opened it. What a beautiful chocolate cake. I was near enough to get a lungful. The smell was strong. It was fresh. It was made in earnest. How lovely.
Then, I noticed that it didn't smell like any conventional chocolate cake. I wasn't sure, but one thing was certain, I could tell that it was sweet. I had the feeling its color, its subtle bitter scent and its overall appearance was familiar, and then a random thought came to me.
"Komachi...is that?"
"Rejoice! Onii-chan! The batter is made of-"
"Max?"
"Yup!"
(Brilliant!!)
It was like my eureka moment. "I get to eat that?" even little Komachi at a Dagashiya couldn't compare. I couldn't wait. At that point, I was practically salivating, secretly though. Just the idea of such a cake...
(I didn't know you could do that.)
I was practically a puppy wagging his tail, I definitely embodied it.
"Alright, Onii-chan, time to blow your candles."
"Ah, wait...what?"
I saw what she placed on the top of the cake: a "30"-shaped-candle. Whoa, whoa, whoa, she wasn't joking.
"N-..."
Just a natural reflex. But I hesitated saying that two letter word. Slip of the tongue, it was an easy excuse. But, I wouldn't deny that there was a part of me that admitted that it wasn't a slip of the tongue.
But I was willing to part with that part of me. It was past. Why should I allow it to stay? There was only ever one answer. The true answer.
"Sure. Komachi, let's do it."
Her smile spread across most of her cheeks, it was clear as day. When she went and opened the kitchen cabinet, I sat at the table, right in front of it.
"Here we go."
She held a kitchen lighter in her hands. When she got around the table, he stood and approached her.
"Oh, let me."
He said as he gently pulled the lighter from her. I intently stared at their hands coming into contact. But in the end, all I could focus on was the cake.
Once its fire ignited, he laid it on top of the wick, and a second after, it brightly lit. All of them had a "wow" face. Sure it was aesthetically pleasing, beautiful, and warm. It was really nice. But it wasn't that which tugged at my heartstrings.
"One, two, three~"
"""""Happy birthday to you~"""""
(What the...? Are you for real!?)
"""""Happy birthday to you~"""""
(Really!? Really!? Wait!! Wait!!)
My cheeks were starting to burn red. I wanted to scream "Cut it out!"...but...Thinking about it...actually...
(They really did all of this? In an hour, give or take...)
"""""Happy birthday Happy Birthday~"""""
This old man's heart was feeling warm.
"""""Happy birthday to you~"""""
"Make a wish!"
I absentmindedly eyeballed the cake, unmoving, unreactive. My breaths faint and muted. My eyes were "dead as always" as she would say. I wondered if I was letting myself get carried away...maybe it was the spur of the moment...or maybe not. I still couldn't say for sure.
(Does this change everything? Hell no, it's definitely for Komachi...but maybe...maybe it's also for me... it's not like...I...no...don't drag her into this...)
The absolute deception...well, hopefully, it was starting to see some cracks.
(I say I don't know. I say I'm conflicted, but there was really only one answer...)
Right now, I couldn't say I got rid of it all, but at the very least:
(Just this once...)
I closed my eyes. And in that deathly quiet moment, I gave it a slow, solid blow.