Heeseung pov:
I was back at home. Jay was avoiding me as well as everyone else. They do hate me. Maybe I shouldnt have said what I did. Now I'm truly alone. Is this how Junghwa and Mi-young felt? Alone.
I find it oddly comforting. It's like I could feel Mi-young leaning on my shoulder or holding my hand at rough times. Like after I ran into the forest. I had sat by a tree and cried. I swear I could feel her leaning on me then.
Or maybe I'm going crazy. I hope it was her. I was now laying on my bed, dreading the fact I was still alive. The wall that Jay had pushed me against still had some broken wood hanging. I never found the time to fix it.
Then there was a knock on my door. "Come in." I said nonchalantly. The door swung open and I looked up to see who it was. Niki. He looked sad. I sat up and waved for him to come in. He closed the door and walked up to me. Then he sat next to me.
"Heeseung...I'm scared." Niki's voice was soft and quiet. I could tell he wanted to cry. I frowned. "About what?" I asked. "All of us. I dont want you guys to be mad at each other." His voice was cracking. A few tears slipped from his eyes, falling down his face.
I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I dont want us to be mad at each other either. This whole thing has just really messed me up Niki." I spoke quietly as well. Niki wiped his tears but they kept falling.
I hated seeing my youngest brother like this. Worried that his only family is falling apart and growing to hate one another. "Hee...please. Talk to them. You're our eldest and we need you." Niki pleaded. I got choked up.
They...needed me? Oh. I hugged him and he hugged back immediately. "I can try." I whispered. We let go of one another. I got up and started to walk downstairs, Niki following.
I made it too the lounge. I could hear a few of them in the living room and maybe two in the kitchen. I gulped. "Guys come here please!" I yelled and then sat down on the couch next to Niki.
It took a mintue but everyone gathered around the couches, curiosity covering their eyes. Once everyone was settled I cleared my throat. "Listen, after you know uhh...yesterday. We need to clear something up. I'm not mad at anyone. Not Jay, not Hei-ran...I was just...In denial I guess. I'm really sorry." I announced.
Everyone hesitated on speaking but Jay did eventually. "I figured you were just mad that she was gone. I felt like it was my fault and I apologize." Jay spoke cautiously. I frowned. "You dont need to apologize. It wasnt your fault. It was her decision. I just wish she hadn't." I accepted solemnly.
Jay nodded, Hei-ran rubbing his back. I still didnt like looking at them and I still didnt like her so I turned my head away and looked down at the floor. Though it did feel as if pressure lifted from the air. No more tension.
Jungwon sighed of relief. I knew he felt it more than any of us. "Heeseung. If it's not to much to ask, can you tell us what happened with Junghwa?" Jake suddenly asked. I was taken aback. That's the last thing I wanted to talk about right now.
"Maybe later. Now isnt a good time." I answered after a few seconds of silence. Jake frowned but nodded as did the others. Junghwa had nothing to do with this. But they know this isnt the first person I've lost.
Not to suicide but death. A tiring thing. It breaks me just thinking about it. About her. About Mi-young. None of them deserved it either. They only deserved the best. And both times I wasnt there. It truly is my fault and now I feel really bad about blaming Jay and Yeonjun.
If I had only just stayed there and been there with them then it never would have happened. This is what I get. I don't know what I've done to deserve this but I guess it was something. Oh well. It's over now.
Niki nudged my arm, seeing I was lost in thought. I immediately looked at him. He didnt look so sad anymore. More like relieved. Everyone was staring at me. Luckily I was the only one that could read minds. Speaking of, I could tell they were all thinking about what could have happened with Junghwa.
They've been wondering for a while. I guess they will have to keep guessing until I'm ready to speak about what I saw. About what happened to her. None of them had been vampires yet when it happened.
Jay become a vampire only a few months after it happened. The others following quickly though. "Thanks guys. We will talk later." I said, standing up quickly and fast-walking back to my room. I wanted to visit Mi-young's grave.
But I wanted to write her a note. Sounds stupid I know but still. I closed my door quietly and sat at my desk. I slipped out a piece of paper as well as a pen and began to write as I thought.
'I always knew you liked Jay more than me.
I was content with it until he left you. I was mad at him because I saw how much it hurt you.
I was mad at him for putting those tears in your eyes. I'm mad at you for leaving me like he did you.
Just yours was in a worse way. I'm mad that you let him affect you like that. No matter what he said Hei-ran would never be as amazing as you. Nobody could take your place. But most of all, I'm mad at myself for not doing more.
I could have been there for you more and I wasnt. It's my fault i cant hear your voice or see your gorgeous eyes anymore.
When I found you in that room...my heart broke and right then I knew I'd never be the same without you. That was the day the world fell silent. You were one of the only people that gave me joy and the world light.
Especially that kiss we shared. It was like everything came to light. My feelings for you and the colors of the world around me became vibrant.
Not to mention I hated seeing you so wasted all the time. I really wish you didnt follow in your moms steps but you couldnt help it. Not with everything that had happened to you.
It made me sick thinking about how much pain you were in and how I couldnt help you fill that void that swallowed you. How it was Jay that caused that void to form.
Yet I never thought I wouldnt be able to see you again. But as I watched your casket being laid in the dirt, I knew I couldnt see that precious smile every again. Only in my head do you remain.
It's my fault you left this world with only an echo of your laugh. I hate myself for it. I know you wouldnt want that though. You would say it's not my fault but it is.
I know I will never see you again, but for the rest of the time I'm here on earth I will make sure your never forgotten. That's at least one promise I can keep.
I know it is selfish of me to ask of this one last favor but, can you say hi to Junghwa for me? I miss her as much as I do you. You always reminded me of her.
Please Mi-young. For the rest of eternity I swear I will make sure you didnt leave in vain. You've been through a lot and now it's your turn to rest.
May your beauty be everlasting to only me, but a myth to others.
To: Mi-young
From: Heeseung
P.S. I love you too.'
I meant every word. She was my Everlasting Beauty. Forever and always. It didnt matter that she wasnt alive anymore, she was forever here to me. I folded the note and slipped it into an envelope I pulled from the drawer.
I got up and fixed my pants and shirt before slipping the note in my pocket. I hopped downstairs. Everyone was still talking in the lounge. They immediately had eyes on me as I zoomed to the front door. "Are you leaving again?" Niki called out.
I turned my head back to look at all of them. "I'll come back. I always do." I answered with a small smile and left. I basically flew into my car and sped down to the cemetery. The idea people have that you must visit a passed loved ones grave to see them again is dumb.
Your loved ones arent just waiting there for you, they are with you. But I still wanted to leave the note by her grave. Just in case. I slammed on the brakes as I got in the parking lot and ran into the cemetery.
Mi-young's grave was on the far right near the back. Funny enough, she was burried behind Junghwa. I didnt need to visit Junghwa's grave, I knew she was always by me. Matter of factly her and Mi-young were both probably with me.
It warmed my heart just thinking of it. I stepped up infront of Mi-young's grave. It still pained me to look at her name engraved into the tombstone. Its still hard for me to believe shes gone. It just doesnt make sense.
I sighed and slipped the note out and placed it against her grave stone by the flowers her father left. I felt someone behind me. I stood up slowly and turned around cautiously.
Mi-young stood innocently. Chills fired through my skin. I was in disbelief. She looked so...real but I knew she was dead. She was still even in her cute pajamas. "I regret what I did," she started, tears already falling from her face, "I really want to be with you Hee. But I cant and I'm sorry."
I stared, flabbergasted. Junghwa walked up behind her, a hand on her shoulder and rubbing her gently. "We both miss you. But dont worry. We are okay now. Please feel better love. For us?" She spoke gently like she always did.
Her voice was so warming to hear. I havent heard it in years. Now I finally got to. To see both the loves of my life together made me confused and sad. To hug and kiss them both would be amazing but awkward.
I wanted to talk but I couldnt form words and only let my jaw hang open. They both giggled and stepped closer. I tried to grab Mi-young's shoulder but my hand slipped through her body like water.
I frowned in disappointment. "I wish I could hug you too. We both do but we can't. Either way, it was amazing for you to be able to see us. Remember, we are always by you love." Mi-young said, her voice full of sorrow.
"I love you both." I whispered. They smiled. They gave a true smile. I teared up at it, never thinking I'd get to see them smile again. But I did. A genuine smile. I rejoiced with a few small jumps of joy as tears fell down my cheeks.
They giggled. Then it was silent. They were gone just like that. I was left alone once more. I wiped my tears and looked back at the note. I smiled softly. Then I began to walk back to my car.
This was the end. I got to see them again. I left my past in that note. Yes there probably wont be a day that goes by where I dont think of them. That's fine with me though. I could never forget the warmth of their bodies or the soft smiles and the music-like voices they spoke with.
Forever with me, Junghwa and Mi-young.
Everlasting Beauty.