I pushed Tara away from me and looked up. Zoë was standing there, tears in her eyes, her mouth dropped open. I ran over to her.
"Zoë, it's not what it looks like." I told her.
I reached out for her but she stepped back.
"Really because it looked like you were kissing someone else!"
She looked past me at Tara, who was standing there grinning.
"Really Jace, Ms. Black? How could you!"
"Let me explain, please. She kissed me!"
"I can't do this right now."
She burst into tears and took off running toward her car. A sharp sensation stung my cheek, making my eyes water. Dylan stood in front of me, her cold eyes burned into mine; her hand came back down slowly. She took off after Zoë calling for her.
"Damn it!" I yelled. I looked over at Tara who was still grinning.
"Stay away from me, you bitch!" I said backing up.
"Come on, Jace." She said, "I was just having some fun."
"You just ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me."
I turned around and stormed off.
***
Dylan drove me home. She didn't think I should be driving, she was probably right. I haven't stopped crying since the park. Jace cheated on me, I thought he loved me.
"Louis was right." I said softly. "He would end up hurting me."
"Don't talk like that." Dylan said.
"You saw it for yourself, Dylan."
When we pulled into the driveway, I got out and headed straight to the parlor, Dylan followed close behind me. She sat next to me on the piano bench.
"You want to know something?" I said in barely a whisper. "I wrote a song that Jace inspired me to write."
I started to play 'The Light in the Darkness' on the piano.
"I wish I knew back then what I know now. I would have given in or even backed down. I was nothing but invisible. You came along and changed my world, you made me feel loved, wanted. You made me feel like somebody. You saved me from myself. You were the light in the darkness.
I burst into tears again and slammed my fist multiple times on the keys. Dylan grabbed my hands and held them tightly in hers.
"It's going to be okay." She said softly.
I laid my head on her shoulder and cried. She didn't say anything. She just sat there with her arms around me, comforting me.
~~~
"James, please come to the park before I do something stupid."
"Is everything okay?"
"No, just get here." I said and hung up.
I was sitting on top of the slide when James's car pulled up, I sighed with relief.
"What's going on, Jace?" James said, rushing to where I was sitting.
"I really fucked up." I said. My head was in my hands and I didn't look up.
"What are you talking about?
"I'm so stupid." I said. I banged my fist on the slide bar. "So so stupid!"
"Jace stop! Get down here and talk to me."
I jumped off the slide and stood in front of him.
"I'm so pissed." I said. "I can't believe she did that! I can't believe I fell into the trap!
"Who, Zoë?"
"No, Tara."
"You mean the old English teacher, Tara?"
"Yeah, you know we had a history."
"Yeah, of course but what does she have to do with anything?"
I looked at James and took a deep breath.
"Tara showed up here earlier. She started hitting on me. I kept rejecting her. She kissed me, James but Zoë saw before I could even react to it. It all happened so quickly. I'm pretty sure she hates me now. I screwed up the best thing that has happened to me."
"Did you kiss her back?"
"No! I wouldn't do that to Zoë. I'm not that person anymore."
"Then go talk to her."
"I called her ten times. She won't pick up. I really did it this time."
"Give her some time." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Let her calm down."
"Okay. Can I crash at your place tonight? I want to give her some space."
"Yeah, my parents won't care."
"Thank you."
~~~
James let me crash on the pull out bed in his room. While he got me a blanket and pillow, I tried calling Zoë again, only to get her voicemail.
"Zoë, baby. Please talk to me. Let me explain. I love you, Zoë so much. Please believe me."
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed. I sat there with my head in my hands, tugging at my hair. I didn't even know I was crying until I tasted the salty tear on my lips.
"Everything will be okay, J."
I looked at him. "What if it's not?"
"Then I'm here no matter what."
"Thank you."
***
I woke up with another call from Jace, this time he left a voicemail. He called ten times last night. I didn't answer, it's simple. I just don't want to talk to him. I'm not in the mood for excuses. I don't understand why he would kiss someone else. Dylan decided to stay with me again; she didn't want me to be alone. I guess she's right. I listened to Jace's voicemail, hearing his voice just made me cry again. He told me he loved me but why don't I believe him anymore? I hung up the phone and laid it on the table. I felt so defeated, depressed. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Dylan was still asleep; it was still early so I didn't want to wake her. I didn't sleep well at all last night. I had dark circles under my red eyes. I pulled my hair up and walked back to my room. I pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, I think it's Jace's, it smells like him. The scent of him made me cry again, I wiped the tears away quickly.
~~~
I felt like shit, complete utter shit. I didn't get any sleep last night. James was awake and dressed when I got up.
"Are you going today?"
"No, I don't want to." I said softly.
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
"No, go watch after her please."
"Okay, I will."
"Thank you, James."
Once he left I felt even more alone. I laid down hoping sleep would take me but it didn't. I just laid there feeling sorry for myself.
***
Dylan really didn't leave my side today. I couldn't focus at all. Every class I just sat there, my head down. I just let the tears fall. By lunch the whole group knew what happened. Everyone went up to get their food, leaving me with Louis. I wasn't hungry and I guess he wasn't either.
"I'm sorry for what happened." He said softly.
"Why? Don't be. It seemed like everyone knew but me. Why didn't I just listen to you?"
"If it makes you feel any better, I've been there and believe me you are better off without him."
"Am I?" I whispered.
I sighed.
"Um, Louis, do you think you can come over today? I need help with my school work. My grades are slipping."
"Yeah, I can do that." He smiled.
I have no clue what I'm doing or why I even care. I don't know. Maybe I feel I need to be with another guy, I can forget the hurt. Maybe I'm just doing it to make Jace jealous. I'm so angry.
~~~
James came home after lunch.
"Did you see her?" I asked. "How did she look?"
"Yes and she didn't look good, bro. She looked really depressed. She didn't eat today. You really need to talk to her."
"Oh God, what have I done?" I jumped up. "I broke her." I ran to the door. "I got to go."
"Jace, wait. Let me at least drive you, it's freezing."
"No, I'll be okay."
"Jace, I'm driving you."
I sighed, giving up, "Fine."
~~~
I had an hour before Zoë got home so I had some time to think. I paced up and down the floor of my room. I have no idea what I'm going to say. How am I going to explain something that looked so wrong? I guess I can't make it worse than it already is. I heard Zoë's car pull in the driveway. My heart raced. I took a deep breath and headed downstairs. I heard the door open. I stopped in my tracks when I heard Zoë's laugh and another voice. I peeked around the corner and saw Louis follow Zoë in the house.
"What the hell is he doing here?"
"You can go ahead and head to the living room. I'll get us some drinks." Zoë said to him.
"Okay." He said smiling.
She went to the kitchen. When Louis was out of sight, I headed to the kitchen behind her.
"Zoë, I need to talk to you."
"Christ!" She jumped. "There's nothing to talk about, Jace!" She didn't look at me.
"Yes, there is." I said. "You didn't even let me tell you what really went on."
"It was kind of obvious!"
"Please." I said.
"You have two minutes."
"I was at the park and Tara came up to me. I haven't talked to her since that night she left me. She kept hitting on me but I rejected her, Zoë, more than once."
Zoë crossed her arms.
"I even mentioned you but she wouldn't leave me alone. Zoë, she came onto me, she kissed me. I didn't kiss her back. You have to believe me. I love you, Zoë so much, more than my life."
Zoë uncrossed her arms and looked at me.
"How do you expect me to believe that?"
My heart dropped. I felt like I had been punched in the gut.
"I know how you treated women."
"That was before. You're different, you changed me. Please, I love you."
"The damage is done, Jace"
"Let me fix this." I felt the tears well up. "I love you, always have. Believe me."
"I can't." She looked away. "Please, get out of my way."
"No, not until we are okay."
"Jace, move!"
"Zoë, I care about you. Why don't you believe me?"
I grabbed her hand.
"Don't touch me!" She pulled her hand away.
"What's going on here?" Louis said.
"It doesn't concern you." I said not looking at him.
"Zoë's my best friend so it does."
"What the hell are you even doing here? Don't you have a boyfriend to protect?"
"Zoë invited me and I don't like how you are treating her."
"I'm trying to save something that I really care about!"
"You mean something you fucked up, not the first time I may add."
Without thinking my fist came up and punched Louis square in the jaw.