- 'Cause someday, everybody's leaving - You promise that you'll stay - But that's a promise you can't make -
On a cold, quiet, sorrowful night.
"We mourn here today to celebrate and honor the late Micheal Alex Bowen. He was a young man and mentor for everyone. We commit him into the hands of God "
The Gang of East High all sitting together on the third Row. Few of them, including Nini, were tearing up from this accident. Ricky Bowen was sitting in the front row on the hands holding close was Ej Caswell. He is still starstruck by this moment even happening to him. Just three week ago, he and His dad were laughing and making fun of Movies, and now He will never see him again. He wanted to cry, but something told him he couldn't.
Leaving roses on by one. Everyone, Leaving the roses on the side of the Casket. His legacy will always be memorized. It's one that was too tragic for everyone. Even his ex-wife with her Boyfriend came around and gave multiple roses as everyone Mourns.
As the Funeral was coming to a close, Ricky was asked to come forward and give his speech at a memorial for his father.He still didn't know why he agreed to it. He knew his father was the most special person to him. It was just something he knew his dad would be proud of even if he's not there physically.
My dad was one of the most Bravest people out there. Whether he wants to admit that or not. He had something not most people have, dignity, and Acceptance no matter how big it was. He was there when others couldn't be there for me. He also showed love when I came out to him, I actually felt like.. Myself. SOme people say it's hard for them to be them in front of their parents, but my dad wasn't. He was just.. Amazing. He would give all to anyone and that's what's amazing about him. I.. He would always tell me. Ricky, you're more than nothing ever needed and that's all I needed to be heard before anything hard was going on. He wasn't just my father, he was my best friend. Someone I'll never forgive if I was the one in the Car and took that accident instead of him. He. Sorry. I can't do this anymore.
Ricky sat down and everyone was applauding him as he sat down next to his boyfriend. He doesn't know if he'll ever forgive himself for this accident.
Tell me what's worse. Losing you now or later?Maybe I can break the curse. And I can be in love forever -
NEXT Day.
Everyone returns back to school the next day. It was still weird after everything, but Everyone knew that they had to move on from this tragedy. One way or another. It is hard though to forget that one of your best friends' dad is gone, and knowing he's hurting. There's no way anyone ever fully recovers, and no one want's go through it at all. Especially at a young age like Ricky's.
"Has anyone heard from Ricky?" Gina asks as everyone is sitting in the cafeteria.
"No, Guess he chose not to go to school today." NIni replies.
"I mean, do we really blame him?" Ej chimes in
"I guess not, but."
"HEY GUYS!" THey all turn around to see? A happy chirpy skater boy appeared in front of them.
"Oh hi ricky" They all said
"H h how's it going."
"Never, been better. You know, I thought I was going to be still mourning over my dad's death, but I'm actually glad it was happy. I think It gave some, happiness"
"A are you sure babe?"
"Yes! I'm sure. Now, let's stop talking about my dad and let's talk about how Ashlyn is still stuck in her love triangle."
"RICKY!" Ashlyn exclaims.
As things went on during breakfast, THe bell rings dismissing the to class. THey all get up and get their stuff ready for class.
"Alright, see your guys later. Come on babe, take me to class." Ricky was pulling on Ej's arm as he was eager to get to class ready to go.
"See you ricky." Nini says while pulling on the side away.
Everyone see's Ricky and Ej walking away to class, they knew this wasn't going to end well.
Meanwhile with Ricky and Ej.
"Ok, This is your stop." Ej continues to hold Ricky's hand as Ricky pulls away from his hand slowly.
"Thank you babe." RIcky was about to turn, when ej knew he had to cut the tension.
"Ricky! Wait. *Sigh* Look, it's ok to still be sad about your Dad's death ok. You don't need to feel like you have to get over it you know.It's ok to Grieve. "
"I swear Ej! I'm fine."
"But you don't have to be if you're not."
"Ej. I promise I'm all good, I swear! Besides, my dad wouldn't like it if I moped all around all day about him. He wouldn want me to live the fullest of my life. Not to waste it."
"Are you sure, cause I can make sure -"
"EJ! I swear, I'm fine , ok! You don't need to worry about me." Ej comes walking forward and presses his lips against his. Ricky and Ej haven't kissed since Ricky's dad died, so now Ej felt like he was forcing it.
"If I need you, I'll call you, but I'm all good. No need to try to parent me. *HAha, get it, Parent me, Dad's not here anymore and My mom's -"
"Yeah, I think I got it."
RIcky walks away and heads back inside the class. Ej knew Ricky could still be hurting, but he also didn't intervene with Ricky's grieving.
Someone dies or someone gets hurt -
Few Weeks Later
Things aren't getting that much better for ricky. He's not really going much better for ricky. He's still pretty sad about his dad's death, however he won't speak or even acknowledge it. He feels he needs to move on as if he is never excited, which is slowly killing him a bit because he knows that it's not that easy to let go of someone he loves. He even got a punching bag for his room that his dad was using. It was his way of letting go of the stress and anxiety he has.
Ej tried to be there for him, but Ricky wouldn't let him be there for him. He even tried to get through therapy but Ricky never went, he keeps saying he doesn't need it and that he shouldn't feel bad for him because that'll just ruin it.
Ej just let it go from there since he knew whatever he was doing isn't going to help Ricky. He decided that maybe Ricky being by himself was his way to grieve, but still felt he could have done more.
As Ej was leaving for the day from school, Immediately a group of 3 stopped him as they yelled at him.
"EJ!" He turns around to see Nini, Gina, and Big Red all marching towards him.
"Umm, hey guys."
"We need to talk." Gina automatically Confronted him.
"Uhh ok?? About what?"
"We need to talk about Ricky."
"Look, if this is about his dad, He assured me he's fine."
"Yeah, that's the problem.He's too fine, and not cute, fine! But the mentally fine."
"Umm, isn't that a good thing."
"That's the problem. He's been shutting out for his dad, and it's not healthy."
"NIni, you don't think I've tried to get him to try to talk to me about it? He keeps saying he knows it's what his dad wants. And I can't force him not to open up."
"Well! Caswell you're not trying hard enough!" Gina starts getting a bit angrier as NIni starts pushing back on her before she starts a commotion.
"Ok Gi, let;s not cause a scene."
"If you guys are so concerned about it, Why don't you guys talk to him about it? I did the best I could."
"Because, you're his boyfriend, that's in your job description." Big red claims
"So, you're admitting you're a terrible friend?"
"And, We know you'll take his crying on you shorter than the three of us." NIni chimes in to defend Big red.
"Cowards!"
"Plus, We all thought because you know what it's like to have parents neglected you, you'd be use to it -"
"GINA!" Nini elbows her real hard.
"What! I'm not wrong!"
"And if I don't talk to him."
"Well, Ricky doesn't have the best track record of hard situations. After a while, he'll start sparring, and it won't be good. Especially if none of us know where he is."
"So, If you don't do anything, then if he ends up doing something stupid, we'll blame you. You'd be the easiest to say we did warn you" Gina smiles as she finds her sentence
"And, y'all are going to blame?"
Nini, Gina, and Big Red all agree on hsi statement and shake his heads.
"Pussies!" Ej walks away and head's out to his car.
As he walks heading to his car, He notices a text message he gets from Ricky
Text message
Ricky: Hey! I miss you, wanna come over?
Ej: Uhh, I'm a bit tired, Maybe tomorrow Morning?
Ricky:Ok. That'll do. Luv ya.
Ej:Love you too
Text Messages End
Ej knew he was pulling back on trying to help Ricky, but he felt like he was overstepping, but he also felt like he was also somewhat understepping. He just wanted to be there for him. Whether or not he was next Ricky.
You're my fire and my safety, You never mean to break me, And that's why I'm afraid -
The Next Day
Ej pulls up to Ricky's house and sees Ricky Mom's car in the Driveway. He knew she was there for Ricky when his dad died, but she was living all the way in Chicago, it did spark if he would move there with her but that wasn't his problem with it.
He gets out of his car, and heads inside. When he went in, He saw an empty household as he couldn't find anyone in the house. He walks up and see's Ricky in his bedroom using his Dad's Punching Bag. Guess he was getting some morning anger out is what Ej was thinking.
"UH Ricky.."
"EJ!" RIcky turned and leaned into Jock's shoulder and wrapped their arms around each other. He really looks around and sees Ricky's room is a mess. Clothes everywhere and just slowly laying around everywhere.
"Uh Babe? WHy is the room a mess? It wasn't like this last time. I was here."
"Oh, I uh. I needed to see everything, if you get what I mean. "
"Uh, Y yeah?"
"HEy Ej!" Ej turns around to see Lynee carrying a laundry hamper.
"Hey lynne"
"Glad you're here. Ricky. Did you pack your suitcase for tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'm almost Done. I just need to find My swim trunks."
"Uh, Ricky, It's Winter time? NO pool is going to be open."
"Well, Never hurts to bring them, you know."
"*chuckles* Ok, Just let me know."
Lynne leaves the Room walks away.
"You didn't tell me you were traveling."
"Yeah, It was sorta last minute. I'm going to Chicago for a bit. My mom thinks I need to clear my head from Everything. She said, I may even have to move there if she can't transfer to live in Salt lake. "
"Well, That sounds.. "
"Dumb! I know. I told my mom I'm fine, but Nope! She insting that I do all of this. "
"Yeah.. SOuNds teRRiBle."
"LEt's move forward with this conversation. We have other things to talk about. Like how I miss cuddling with you. "
"Yeah. same here."
"EJ, Are you ok? You're acting weird.?"
"I'm good. I just.. Sorta Worry for you, u know."
"That's your weakness, you have Caswell. You sometimes care much about other people and this is how you get broken. Now! I wanted to watch a movie with you." Ricky grabs Ej and pulls him towards the bed and lays down on EJ and leans back and slowly relaxes on his chest.
Two hours earlier
Ricky and Ej finished up the movie they were watching and Ricky was leaning in hard to Ej's chest as EJ was still concerned for the Skater boy.
"WOw, That movie was.. "
"Yeah, Probably one of the worst movies we watched together."
Ricky slowly starts getting off Ej as he gets up real quick. "Well, I got to take a piss real quick. Be back"
Ricky leaves the room to head to the bathroom, while he's doing so Ej gets a text message and he looks down on his phone. It was surprise, surprise who was texting him.
Text Messages
Gina: Hey! Have you talked to Ricky yet?
Ej: Ugh. You're too clingy about this.
EJ: And to answer your question.. NO
Gina: Ugh. Typical Ej caswell. Avoiding all your problems
Ej:Hey! I'm trying here! It's not as easy as you think.
Gina: I know, That's Why I'm glad I'm not the one who was to tell him the truth. 😊😊
Text Messages END
As Ej puts his phone down and waits for Ricky, He looks at the bottom floor and sees. A picture of young Mike?
He gets down a box full of pictures of Mike shoved at the bottom of the bed underneath. He was clearly looking and saw the Pictures of him and Ricky. Ricky must have put the photos under the bed? But for what..
"Are you doing good, E?"
Ej quickly put the photos down, shoved them far underneath the bed and got up quickly looking at Ricky who was wearing the boxing gloves again.
"Oh Yeah. Sorry, I just dropped my phone."
"Oh? Ok. Well I'm going to take a few hits on the bag. You want to take some?"
"Uh, Nah. I'm good."
"Ok." Ej looks at the curly head boy and knows he's not ok. He can't keep lying to himself.
"RICKY! Wait.."
"Change your mind?"
"No! We need to talk. Look, I know you said you ok from everything, but I know you're not fine."
"What do you mean? I'm clearly fine."
"Yeah, that's the problem, I don't even know if you're lying to me or not!"
Ricky just slowly went back to the Punching bag and started hitting it again,
"You can punch out all your emotions all you want but I'm here. Everyone's worried about you. "
"Y you Don't know how I'm feeling!" Ricky was saying as he punched the bag more and more aggressively.
"I may not, but I know you're hurt by everything. I found the pictures underneath the bed. You don't need to hide being sad. "
"SHut up Ej! I'm fine! Im fucking fine!"
"Ricky. It's ok to be sad."
".. Just leave me alone..!"
Ricky counts to punch the Punching bag in his room more and more harder as Ej countiined to come closer to him and was trying to get him to calm down."
"Ri-"
"Leave me alone!" Ricky quickly turned around to Ej and punched him almost in his face as EJ ducked. "I'm fine, OK! Just drop it!" Ricky countiens to try to punch EJ but Ej blocks him punches which makes Ricky more and more Softer and go less weaker.
"EJ! I'm f F!" Ej quickly slowly puts his hand over Ricky's hands and slowly wraps his large arms around the boy's Body and Ricky's gloves start slowing slipping off as he leans into the boy's body. Then Ej felt his shirt starting to get wet on his side. He knew it was time. Ricky was starting to break down on him more and more.
"It's ok Babe, I got you."
...
-You love me but no matter what you say - There's only one of two ways that this is gonna end -
"E.. What if I never feel fine after this. I'll feel like a piece of shit for the rest of my life?"
"Ricky. You'll have to work through it. In fact, I think I know what to do. " Ej pulls away the boy and has him look into his eyes. Ej smears the tears on the boy's face and quickly looks down at it. "Put something on, I want to take you somewhere."
"Ej, I'm not in the mood to leave anywhere."
"Just! Trust me. Ok ! Also.. bring something that's memorable to you and your dad"
"Do I get anything out of it?"
"Yeah, I think closure and some peace."
About an hour later.
"We're here." EJ parks his car and Ricky and him get out of the car.
"Uhh, Why are we at the cemetery?"
"Well, I think maybe... You wanted to talk to your dad."
"I don't know Ej, this sounds dumb. "
"You brought your most memorable thing, and now I think you know the rest." Ej takes Ricky's hand and they both walk over to the Grave site where Ricky's dad was buried.
"I can't Ej. If I do this, then it's like goodbye. It can't be Goodbye."
'Cause I don't wanna live without you. I don't wanna ever learn -
"You won't. Because He'll always be here with you. "
Ricky takes a deep breath in and walks over slowly to his Dad cemetery.
"*Sigh* Hi dad. It's me. I didn't want to come but Ej forced me. Not anything against you or anything, I just, I feel like I can't accept the fact that this is the reality. *sniffles*I'm sorry about all this. I sometimes don't know if this can just all be a sign of all my faults, and I know if you were here, you would say it wasn't but at the same time you can't control what I think. I think you wish you could but, I guess it is what it is. You know, I tried to be strong for you, but I Couldn't. EJ confronted me about it, and low and behold, he was right. I'm not fine, you were right to date him. He is a total goal and my pillow is like you said.. I Just miss you, everything around here makes me miss you. I get angry and sad. Sometimes I Just want to destroy everything in my room, except my skateboard, duh.*Chuckles.*Mom, even is thinking of me moving there, She said a change in environment may help my grief a bit. I do miss her, and Her boyfriend isn't totally bad himself. I just want to talk to you. .. I brought you this. Me and your favorite artist, It was your favorite album of theirs. I think you would want it the most.*Ricky puts the cd right next to Mike's Gravestone*. I miss you Dad. I'm sorry If I ever was fucked up son or anything. I just want to hear you say I love you one last time... Goodbye Dad.''
Ricky starts to tear up as he gets up from the grave and heads over to Ej who was behind feet far back.
-
"You'll be ok Ricky. I know it."
EJ puts his arm around the boy's shoulder and presses a kiss on his forehead. He leans him close to him and wraps him around.
"I wish I was the one who died, Cause I can't live without him."
"But I'm glad you're here! Because Losing you would be a tragedy." THis made ricky smile a bit
"Hey E. I think I'm going to do that trip with my Mom. I think she's right. I need that change of environment for a bit."
"Hey. Of course, I'm always here to support you."
Ricky wraps his arm on Ej's lower chest as Ej was still wrapping him close.
"Come on Ri, I think we should head out."
"Yeah, I think so too."
- If I die first. I hope I die first, I can be in love forever, love forever, love forever -
Finished
___
Stream Young Forever by Nessa Barett :))
This was hitting hard while I was writting this 😭😭😭
My last day of Fall break today too so I'm back to school next week...😭