what y'all doing? I just finished watching Abbott Elementary—10/10 show btw.
"I know you ain't drive all the way over here just to get breakfast," Selah teased Siraj as she opened the door for him and Semaj.
Siraj held a grin on his face, reaching in to give her a hug. "Sho' did," he replied, watching Kinsley and Semaj greet each other with hugs.
Selah followed him into the kitchen after she shut the door and locked it. Keia, Joziah and Antonio sat at the island, waiting for Soleil to finish with the eggs.
"Good morning family," Siraj greeted them, giving Keia a side hug and slapping hands with Joziah and Antonio. "Hey sweet girl," he walked over to where Soleil stood, kissing the side of her face.
"Good morning," she smiled, gently grabbing his chin and pulling him closer for a kiss.
"Lei Lei!" Semaj exclaimed, jumping and skipping into the kitchen.
"Dooda!" Soleil greeted him in the same energetic tone, rubbing his back as he wrapped his arms around her legs. "Get from in front of the oven baby, it's hot, okay?"
Siraj led him out of the kitchen, walking him over to where Kinsley was sitting down at the table.
"I can't wait to go to Key West," Keia beamed, looking over the pictures of the AirBnB that she was going to be staying at next week for her anniversary trip with her boyfriend.
"So lucky, I'd definitely go back if I could. I had a blast," Soleil said, dumping the eggs onto each plate that was laid out on the counter. "The beaches were so pretty,"
"You gotta have some money to live out there, fa'sho. Rent starts at what? Like 3k?" Joziah rubbed the side of his nose, looking at Keia's phone. Soleil hummed in confirmation, now placing the empty pan inside of the sink and running the water over it. "Key West is basically like California,"
"True," Keia replied, locking her phone and placing it down.
"A'ight, y'all come fix your own plates, I've done enough," Soleil beckoned them, beginning to wash the pan out. Everyone then walked into the kitchen, grabbing a plate and starting to put food onto it.
While everyone fixed their plates, Soleil made plates for Kinsley and Semaj, before walking over to the table and placing it down in front of them.
She then walked over to the refrigerator to grab the orange juice to pour them a cup. "Okay, I'm gonna go get ready now," Soleil told them, placing the cups on the coaster for Kinsley and Semaj.
"You're not hungry, Boop?" Selah raised an eyebrow, peeking over at her.
"Not really, I was cooking for so long that I'm not even hungry anymore," she shrugged, walking out of the kitchen.
Over the next half hour, everyone ate their breakfast and shared laughs. It was something that warmed Soleil's heart, to have her sister and brother-in-law cracking jokes with her best friends and her boyfriend, almost made her emotional.
It'd been awhile since any of them had been together under one roof. Despite the semester ending a week ago, Keia and Joziah were planning on staying for half of the summer to make some extra money for their apartments. Once July rolled around, they'd go home to spend time with their family before the fall semester started.
"You guys ready?" Soleil asked Kinsley and Semaj coming down the stairs with her purse and keys in hand.
Now that Kinsley was back, Selah decided to let her go to her mom's daycare for the summer. While she and Antonio continued searching for a house, they didn't want Kinsley in the way.
Kinsley didn't seem to mind as she would be with Semaj and Soleil—her two favorite people after her parents.
"Be good today," Selah told Kinsley, leaning down to give her daughter a kiss. "We'll see you when you get home,"
"See you later, princess," Antonio scooped Kinsley up into a bear hug and planted multiple kisses on her face.
Soleil hugged her friends as they passed by her to head out the door to go to work.
"We still going out later, right?" Siraj asked Soleil, wrapping one arm around her body. Soleil hummed and nodded, reaching in to hug her sister.
"See y'all later," Selah bid them a farewell, walking out of the door as Antonio slapped hands with Siraj.
"Okay, you gone be here or my place?" Siraj continued to question Soleil.
"Your place,"
"A'ight, come on Maj, let's get y'all in the car," Siraj beckoned the two kids, Soleil unlocking her car for them. As they walked out, Soleil made sure everything was off in the house, before finally setting the alarm and locking up.
Soleil yawned as she walked toward her car, seeing that Siraj was getting the kids settled into the car. While waiting for him to settle them, she snuck a glance over at Ms. Jean's house.
She hadn't seen Ms. Jean or Isidro since the night of her stroke. She wanted to visit her and was waiting to catch Isidro to ask about her condition and if she was able to see her.
She hoped that the woman was able to make a speedy recovery, and also hoped that Isidro was doing okay mentally. Despite the two no longer speaking, she still cared for him and his grandmother as they were good people.
"Okay, love you," Siraj said, kissing Semaj on the forehead. "Be good for Lei,"
"I'm always good, dad," Semaj grinned, causing Siraj to start laughing.
"You right," Siraj shut the back door and approached the driver's door, leaning down to kiss Soleil. "Have a good day,"
"Same to you, let me know once you're on your way," Soleil replied, starting up the engine.
❦❦❦
"Whew! A nigga gotta pee," Siraj said walking into his bedroom, "Hey baby, we can leave right after I use the bathroom," he told Soleil as she sat on the floor, leaning against his bed.
He passed by her to the bathroom, which already had the light on. Soleil slowly looked up from her phone, staring out of the big picture windows at the other tall buildings.
The room went dead silent, besides Soleil's heart that was beating violently against her chest, that she could hear through her eardrums.
Siraj walked back out of the bathroom, coming into Soleil's view with one of the three pregnancy tests that was laid out on the counter. "S-Soleil..." he trailed off, gazing down at the positive pregnancy test in his hand. "All of these say positive,"
"I know," she mumbled, not bothering to look up at him. He looked up from the test, sliding down onto the floor next to her, his need to use the restroom now fading away.
Secretly Soleil had been feeling weird all month long. Besides her sadness about Xahir's anniversary, she could feel a change in her body. She hadn't gotten her period since last month and usually her cycle started at the beginning of the month.
Between the changes in her hormones, her late period and not having much of an appetite, Soleil started to fear that she may be pregnant.
She wanted to brush off the changes as stressed out, but the urge to take a pregnancy test was too strong to ignore.
Her anxiety started to kick in majorly after she had to vomit about ten minutes into her shift at work. It caught her off guard and left her confused as she hadn't had any breakfast this morning unlike everyone else.
She was practically running off of an empty stomach.
"W-what made you decide to take it?" Siraj inquired, overwhelmed with emotions.
"My period is late, I threw up this morning—I've just been...I don't know, been feeling weird lately. I wanted to take one just to kind of ease my nerves—that surely didn't help," Soleil explained, looking down at her lap as she picked at her nails.
"Okay," Siraj replied, deeply sighing. "Um, how do you feel?"
Siraj was at a loss for words, he was still trying to process their situation at hand. He couldn't say that he was all too surprised, as they have been having a lot of sex lately.
However, despite Soleil becoming comfortable with him and deciding that he no longer had to use condoms with her, he still pulled out of her.
Even the few times that he didn't, Soleil took a morning after pill.
Early in their relationship, Siraj asked Soleil if she was on birth control. Soleil wasn't comfortable with the idea of taking birth control, seeing other women's experiences and how it affected their health, made Soleil immediately shoot the idea down of taking it.
Although getting pregnant was an inevitable outcome for most women, Soleil didn't like having sex around the time she was ovulating—and unfortunately, that's when she was the most horniest.
But if it meant preventing becoming pregnant, then she'd suck it up.
However, here she was months later, three positive pregnancy tests.
"I feel...stupid," Soleil lowered her eyebrows, beginning to frown. "Irresponsible, like a dumbass—"
"Woah, woah," Siraj stopped her, placing the pregnancy test down and moving in front of her as he grabbed her hands. "Stop, don't say that, baby. I know you're feeling a lot of emotions right now but you're none of that,"
"I am stupid, Siraj," Soleil snatched her hands away from him, shooting him a distasteful look. "We haven't even been together for a year yet, how does that make me look? I can feel the judgement already from my family—your family, even fuckin' Ximena and I don't give a damn about what she thinks,"
"I mean, I get it, but who cares what anyone else thinks, Soleil? They're not in this relationship wit' us," Siraj shrugged, gesturing his hand between them.
"I care!" Soleil argued, pointing at herself. "People have judged our relationship from the damn start, Siraj! It's not 'Soleil and Siraj' it's 'Soleil and her brother's best friend' or 'Siraj and his best friend's sister'! We spent the entire beginning of our relationship defending our relationship from people!"
"And you don't think I know that, Soleil! Like I said, who cares what they're going to think, they're not in the relationship wit' us! And if they judge you for this, then fuck them, they were never really supportive from the start!" Siraj held his hands out, as Soleil sucked her teeth, beginning to shake her head.
"You're not understanding,"
"Yes I am, Soleil. I'm not invalidating how you're feeling, I completely understand what you saying but I don't think you should be beating yourself up over this,"
"I can, because I should've been more careful. I'm not keeping it," Soleil sniffled, getting up from the floor.
Siraj slumped his shoulders, a slight scowl on his face. "I mean, I get it, Soleil. It's your body, it's your right to make that decision. But don't I have the right to tell you how I feel about it?" he said, causing Soleil to whip around.
"You want to keep it?" Soleil let out a humorless laugh, pointing at him.
"I don't know, but I would at least like the chance to think about it, Soleil! I don't think you should be making decisions while your emotions are high—"
"Siraj, my decision is going to be the same even in a few days. I don't want it, you already have a kid—I'm not trying to be baby mama number two,"
Siraj jerked his head back, his expression turning into an even bigger scowl. He got up from the floor, scoffing. "Is that what you think that I'll think of you? Another baby mama of mine? That's fuckin' low, Soleil. We're in a whole relationship, addressing you as that wouldn't dare come out of my mouth," he defended, pounding his fist into his other hand.
"We all know how a pregnancy can change a relationship between two people, Siraj."
"There you go, bruh," Siraj bitterly chuckled, shaking his hands in frustration. "Doubting us again, I can't stand when you do that shit. Soleil, I love you, but your ways of thinking sometimes man, that shit is childish,"
Soleil scoffed a laugh and turned around, walking towards the bathroom. "I'm done talking about this," she waved him off in a dismissive manner.
"No, you're not," Siraj shook his head, following behind her. "You can't always push your problems to the back burner, Soleil. This is a very serious situation, and you're tryin' to brush it off as if it's nothing,"
"Like I said, Siraj, I'm done talkin' about this." Soleil said, grabbing the pregnancy tests and tossing them into the trash. She brushed past Siraj to walk out of the bathroom, and went to grab her things. "I need space, I need to think,"
Siraj didn't object, instead he huffed, throwing his head back as he ran his hands down his face.
He would be lying if he said there wasn't a little happiness inside of him that Soleil was pregnant. He couldn't imagine anyone else bearing his child, especially since Soleil loved children.
However, they never had the conversation of having children. Maybe because it was still too early to talk about it, but he did see a future with her.
He just didn't like that she was already referring to herself as his second baby mama. He didn't even address Ximena as that when they were together because he genuinely didn't see her as that. But of course that changed when she started to act like the stereotypical bitter baby mama once he started dating Soleil.
Siraj simply wanted to sit down and have a cordial conversation with Soleil, but he needed to give her the space she needed. She was emotional, as she had the right to be but she also wasn't thinking rationally.
Soleil made it to the garage and got into her car, she tossed her things in the passenger seat before leaning back in hers. Her eyes began to water, as a lump formed in her throat.
She wanted to talk to Siraj and she wasn't trying to come off as bitchy towards him, but she couldn't help the negative thoughts that were flooding her mind about the situation.
Of course she wanted children, but she didn't expect it to be so soon. Plus, she hoped that when she did have children, it would be the first for the guy she ended up with.
Soleil was okay with Siraj already having a son, simply because she loved and adored Semaj like her own.
Soleil made the twenty minute drive back to her house, her mind plagued with thoughts on what to do. She wouldn't lie and say that she was against abortion, in fact, if she knew she wasn't in no state or condition to raise a baby, she wouldn't keep it.
However, between her and Siraj, the child would be well taken care of—whether that'd be emotionally, physically, and financially.
Soleil got out of the car, hitting the alarm. She heard another car door shut from behind her, capturing her attention.
She saw Isidro loading stuff into the car, a concentrated look on his face as he seemed to be in deep thought. Soleil hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should speak to him.
Even thought they didn't quite leave off on a bad ending, she hoped that he didn't carry any ill feelings towards her.
"Hey!" Soleil finally spoke up, catching his attention. He paused what he was doing and looked in her direction. "Um, s-sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry about what happened to your grandmother. How is she?"
Isidro deeply sighed, glancing down at his feet. "She's doing better, she started therapy. Working on her speech impediment and learning how to walk again," he informed her.
"I hope she makes a full recovery. Is she um, is she still in the hospital? I wanted to see her but I didn't want to intrude,"
"Yeah," Isidro nodded, shutting the trunk of his car. "I'm sure she would like that,"
"Is it okay if I see her tomorrow?"
"That's fine, she could use the company,"
"Thanks," Soleil half smiled, Isidro nodding once again as he headed toward the driver door. "A-are you okay? I know how close you are to your grandmother, and it's probably been taking a toll on you, and I know it's been months since we've spoken but I still care,"
She watched as Isidro scratched at his temple, licking over his lips as he stood there, thinking to himself. "I appreciate it, Soleil. I'm managing, it doesn't feel right seeing her the way she is. I think we're all used to her being there for people in their time in need and she's never really taken the time to rest her body. I just hope once she recovers from this, she'll take it easy," he answered truthfully.
"I understand, I'm sure wit' you being there, she will. Are you heading to the hospital now?" Soleil pointed to his car, and finally taking notice of his scrubs.
"Yeah, I got a shift. I'll let her know that you'll be by to see her tomorrow. I'll catch up wit' you later," he told her opening the driver's door and getting inside, not giving Soleil the chance to respond.
Soleil turned around and walked up the driveway towards the front door, she unlocked the door and stepped inside. She could hear Kinsley's laughs coming from the living room, along with Selah's.
She peeked her head inside after she locked the front door, seeing that her sister and niece were playing around. "Hey," Soleil softly spoke, Kinsley ran towards Soleil with her arms extended. "Hi pumpkin," she leaned down to give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.
"Feeling better?" Selah asked her after Vanessa relayed to her that Soleil left early since she wasn't feeling well. Soleil shrugged, barely nodding her head.
She walked out of the living room and headed up the stairs, wanting to shower and get into bed.
"I'll be back, play wit' your toys," Selah told Kinsley as she got up from the floor to go to Soleil's room. Shortly after Soleil shut the door, she heard the door opening again, making her look back and see her sister coming in. "You sure you're okay?"
Soleil huffed, rolling her eyes. "I swear, I don't know who's worse, you or Siraj," she placed her purse down on the dresser and kicked off her shoes.
Selah plopped down on the edge of the bed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Spill it," she demanded her sister.
Silence filled the room as Soleil tossed her head back, inhaling deeply. "I'm pregnant," she revealed, Selah's expression remaining the same.
"I could've told you that," Selah replied, as Soleil picked up her head and turned toward her sister with narrow eyes. "Don't look at me like that, I think you've forgotten that I'm a whole mother—I would know,"
Soleil buried her face in her hands, her eyes burning with tears again. "Selah, I don't know what to do," she started to cry, prompting Selah to get up from the bed and walk over to her, to bring her into a consoling hug. "I feel conflicted,"
"And that's okay, it's completely normal to feel that way," Selah comforted her, rubbing her hand up and down her back. "Did you tell Siraj,"
"He came home and all three pregnancy tests that I took,"
"Well, what did he say? What happened?"
"We sorta got into a disagreement,"
"About what?"
Soleil pulled away, wiping her tears. "I told him that I felt stupid and I feel like people are going to judge me for getting pregnant by him and we haven't even reached a year in our relationship. I also told him that I wasn't trying to be a second baby mama," Soleil sniffled, as Selah crossed her arms over her chest.
"Now, while I understand where you're coming from, you're forgetting that you've known Siraj for several years. So what y'all haven't been together for a full year, y'all had bond way before y'all even thought about getting together. You're not a 'second baby mama', Soleil, you're his girlfriend," Selah said, pointing at her.
"You know better than that, and you know he wouldn't think of you as that—the man practically worships the ground you walk on. And if anyone judges you for that, they'd have to see me because who are they to judge when no one is perfect?"
Soleil remained quiet as she looked down at her feet, running her toes through the plush carpet as she intently listened to her sister. "Does he want to keep it?" Selah questioned her.
"I don't know, but I think he does. I told him I didn't want to keep it, and he said that I shouldn't make decisions while my emotions are high," Soleil replied.
"I agree wit' him, Boop. You're overwhelmed, you're scared, you're confused—I was too when I got pregnant wit' Kinsley. But having Antonio there wit' me, made the journey a li'l less scary and confusing, he supported me through whatever—after he voiced his feelings. You and Siraj need to really sit down and talk this out," Selah preached, gently grabbing Soleil's chin to make her look at her.
"It's easier said than done, trust me, I know—but don't shut him out, Soleil. You're an adult, act like it, and communicate how you feel while also hearing him out. Okay?" Selah cocked her head to the side, raising her eyebrows. Soleil nodded in response, reaching in to give Selah a hug.
"Now, take the time to gather yourself, gather your thoughts. You don't have to make a choice today, tomorrow, or the next day but eventually, you'll have to. And when you do, whatever you decide, I'll support you through whatever," Selah pulled away, wiping Soleil's remaining tears.
She walked over to the door and paused as she held her hand on the doorknob. "I'll have Kinsley sleep wit' us tonight," she opened the door, getting ready to walk out.
"Selah..." Soleil called out to her, trailing off.
"Hm?"
"Thanks,"
"Of course, Boop,"
❦❦❦
okey doke, lemme know your thoughts?
Soleil?
Siraj?
Selah's advice?
More to come next chapter. 🫶🏽
That's it,
That's all,
Y'all be easy,
Thanks for reading guys,
See y'all in the next chapter - Wynter 💙