October 5th, 1920. The day my humanity was stolen from me. I heard them speaking in German, saying I have no family and that no one would miss me. They were right but that still didn't make it okay to take me just because I was found alone, with nothing but the clothes on my back. They had me strapped to a bed like an asylum patient. I kept hearing the word, 'Hydra' being thrown around. I was concerned because I kept wondering if they were going to water board me or something. Every time I tried to get out of the metal straps, they seemed disappointed that I couldn't get out of them and would inject me with a vibrant blue shot thing in a metal tube. It felt like fire was going through my veins for what felt like hours every time they would do it. I'd pass out periodically from the pain.
I kept waking up in darkness, only a light from under a door down what I assumed was a hallway or something. I wasn't in a room, I was out in the open. I saw a guard look at me through the tiny window in the door before yelling, "Doctor! She's awake!" The man comes out of the room quickly after bright intense lights turn on. I just squint since I didn't even want to try to put my hand over my eyes, I didn't want that injection again. A man in a doctors uniform rushed over to me, "Can you break free?" I look at the metal straps then back at him, this has to be some sort of trick or something so I just keep my eyes on him and don't move or say anything. He gets closer to me, "Try to break free. Now." I gulp and nod before lifting my arm up quickly and immediately becoming alarmed when I rip the strap from the cage like thing it was attached to. One arm free, I go to free the other one when the guards around us all cock their guns and point them at me. I sit up slowly then look over at the Doctor, waiting for him to say something but he just smiles and walks back into the room at the end of the hallway. The guards keep their guns aimed at me until he shuts the door, I hear locks click before they put them down. One of them looks down at me, "How does it feel?" He asks. I look around in confusion for a moment before he continues, "The serum, you lousy." I clench my jaw before looking down at my other arm, I quickly free it and just sit there as they all point their guns back at me, I could sense their fear. I was confused by that because why would a man fear a woman? I thought back to a few moments ago when the man said the word, 'serum.' I wasn't really familiar with the word, I never went to school or anything of the sort, so I was dumbfounded by it. I just looked down at my hands and noticed the scratches I'd had days ago all over them, from being dragged here, were gone. Like they never existed at all and they were deep enough to scar. I look back at the guard who was speaking with me earlier, "Serum?" He scoffs, "Yeah, the super serum." I cock my head in confusion so they lower their guns as he continues, "Dr. Erskine is using you as his guinea pig to test his serum. He's basically trying to make super humans or something. It's quite mad, really, but brilliant at the same time." I sigh as it all starts to sink in.
If I was really injected with this 'serum' that he's talking about then that means I could possibly take all of them if I tried to. I'm a woman though so the probability that will happen is small so I use a different approach, I slowly go to slide my legs off of the bed and immediately feel the tension in the air. They all have their guns locked on me but I don't look at them. I just stand up and face them all, "So, what now?" I ask. They wait a few seconds before lowering their weapons. As soon as they do, I hear that Doctor's voice over a radio, "Take her to the well room before taking her to Mrs. Macoin." They all nod as one of them grabs my arm and leads me to another room down the long hallway, as soon as we get to the door they shove in through the door and a group of people wearing full white jumpsuits with masks tear my clothes off and start spraying me with scolding hot water. I scream in agony before accidentally punching the wall behind me. I was shocked when the water stopped as the wall crumbled around the hole I made. I could see through the wall now at the shocked faces of the guards. I'm equally as stunned and don't know what to do so I just shrug and turn back around to the scary looking people who were spraying me, they seemed stunned too but I couldn't see their faces, I was only assuming to their silence. A woman in a nurse's uniform motions for me to go to her so I do. She hands me a towel, as I'm wrapping myself she starts speaking in German, "You're going to Mrs. Macoin but you'll need to put this suit on first." She points to a black suit with a black and red star on the buckle. She turns away as I notice all of the others had left the room. I grab the suit and climb into it, it was skin tight like it was made to my exact measurements so it was a little hard to get on. I ask her in German, "Is this going to stretch out as I wear it more or is this as good as it gets?" She holds back a chuckle before responding, "It'll most likely stretch but I'm not sure." I see a pair of black boots sitting next to it so I put them on as well, over a pair of thick socks, also black.
I am brought to a room with a woman sitting across it in a desk. She smiles at me as she motions for me to sit in the chair in front of her. I quickly sit and look around the room, she has a lot of pictures of what I assume is her family. I look longingly at it before she speaks, in English, "So, what is your name dear?" I clear my throat, "Cassandra Hopkins but everyone calls me Sandra." She looks at me in confusion, "Everyone?" I sigh, "Well, my parents used to before they died. They're really the only people I've ever known, I was a sheltered child." I stop myself from continuing to ramble and she nods as she writes something down. She looks back up at me, "So, you don't have anyone, correct?" I think for a second before deciding I won't lie to her, "No. No I don't." She goes back to writing for a minute or two before asking, "When were you born, Miss. Hopkins?" I sigh, "August 19th, 1898." She writes that down, I assume, before looking back at me, "So young." I look around again at her pictures as she continues, "We're going to have you in training for a while before sending you out anywhere, you'll be brought to another room here shortly and strapped down again. We ask that you don't struggle in anyway or the serum will be a waste since we'd have to shoot to kill. Understood?" I nod as I try to hide the panic on my face. I keep my cool as two guards walk in, grab each arm and take me to yet another room.
This one has a weird looking chair in the middle of it, it almost looks like some sort of torture device. The guards start strapping me into the chair before I even had time to think. The Doctor from earlier comes back in and the rest was a blur because I don't actually remember any of this. I was told about it in 1943 when I found Mrs. Macoin again and she showed me the tapes of me being turned into the monster I am today.
My first actual memory was me standing in the mirror, apparently after my memories were erased, and not recognizing myself in the mirror. There stood a beautiful girl with black hair and bright blue eyes. Such a waste. I'll never be able to have children, they took that from me. I'll never be able to find love. I'm just a waste of life, so I figured why fight it anymore. I did everything that was asked of me in the first 20 years of this new normal for me.
I was their best assassin before they began to think they'd be better off with a man so they could bring their 'super soldier' to the public and help the army. They couldn't have a woman tarnishing that image so they locked me away and used me to experiment on until I broke out and found Mrs. Macoin. I was being hunted by the new German division 'Hydra' so I decided to flee back to the states. I found Dr. Erskine in New York early 1943 and decided to pay him a visit. He seemed terrified when he walked into his home and saw me sitting at his dining table. I just smirked at him and spoke to him in German, "You thought you could just lock me away and I'd whither away to nothing while you let some man have all the glory? I don't think so." He sighed as if he were defeated, "That wasn't my call. Hitler had me under his power for far too long, he took over that and had you put away. I would've never done that." I sits down across from me before continuing, "You were my first success, they just wanted the men of their army to have your power and I couldn't stop them." I sigh, "Why didn't they take one of the men instead?" He shook his head, "There are no others, like you. The men we tested on, with your variant of the serum, didn't survive the transformation." I scoff, "And they want a man to be the face of the super soldier. You can't even make one." He looks me over for a second before asking, in English, "Are you.... not aging?" I shrug, "You tell me. I don't remember what I looked like before this because you erased my mind!" I slam my gun down on the table and glare at him, "Then your buddies in Germany tried to erase me completely, after 20 god damn years!" He looks astonished, "20 years and you still look 22? Thats amazing, your variant must've caused immortality or slowed aging. It's astonishing." I scoff, "Whatever, I only came here for one answer; Why did you erase who I was before this happened to me? I feel all of this would be a whole easier if I could remember that I had a normal life before this." He shook his head, "No, we needed someone with no emotional connection to anyone or anything. I erased your memories because I didn't want you to try to chase things that were no longer there." I glare at him again, "What do mean things that were no longer there?" He sighs, "You had no one and we didn't want one of the side effects to have you chasing ghosts because you didn't remember they passed or something. I just thought it would be easier for you in the long run, once you settled down or got older." I scoff, "No getting older or settling down for me. You seem to have forgot that you took the possibility from children away from me as well." He sighs, "I'm sorry for that. We couldn't risk you being tied down by anything." I pick my gun back up as I stand up, "I hope you're able to find someone to be the face soI have someone to hunt down. I will never stop." I jump out of the open window behind him.
A few months later, I started to hear whispers through the military channels I tapped that Dr. Erskine potentially found his super soldier. I followed him to some futuristic fair thing. I watched as he watched a scrawny guy who was with a normal sized guy and two women. It looked like a date or something so I guess he decided to stay back. I went to get closer to the guy he was following, watching as he looked at some army exhibit. The guy he was with walked closer to him, they spoke for a few moments before the guy walked off to bed with the two women, I think I heard them yell about dancing or something, the addressed him by something 'Barnes.' He walked right passed me, I got a good look at his face as he passed by, he was good looking, someone I probably could've ended up with if my life wasn't such a shit show. He made me smirk, which was weird, I usually just keep a straight face because nothing usually effects me. The human side of me must like him. I got distracted in thought as I watched him runaway with the women. I looked back at the Doctor who watched the kid for a bit longer before walking off.
-A few weeks later-
I was captured by a few men who kept hailing 'Hydra'. I was in and out because they put something in my arm, I assume. It made everything hazy and I couldn't even stand up by myself. They carried me all the way to a plane where a little man was waiting for me. He spoke in German, "Agent X, what pleasure to meet you. Welcome to the winter soldier program, I trust you'll make for a fine soldier, even if you are a woman." Even in my daze, I roll my eyes.
They shocked me for days but apparently what they were going for wasn't working so they put me into a room. I waited for days before anyone came in, it happened to be the little man from the plane, "It is proving difficult to program your brain so I'm here to simply bargain with you. Do as we say or we'll kill you." I scoff, "Doesn't seem like there's much in it for me." He laughs, "Ah but there is, you'll be able to use your powers for good rather than how Erskine was having you use them. You'll be the ultimate weapon, making Hydra unstoppable. If you accept, your first mission will be to kill Erskine before he's able to inject anyone with his new serum and steal them to bring them back to us for the greater good of civilization as we know it." I rip my arms from the chains and stretch out my shoulders before looking over at him, "When do I start?"
They ship me back to New York with a few of their regular soldiers. Apparently the plan changed and I wasn't informed because I heard them speaking in Russian, which Erskine had me learn along with many other languages, while I was in his 'care'. "The plan is to kill her quickly and quietly, we'll dispose of her near the base so Erskine can't find her and somehow bring her back like Schmidt fears." I smirk at them before responding, "You couldn't kill me if you tried." I swiftly kick their legs out from under them, stabbing each in the chest before they fall to the ground. I look back at the pilot who has a look of terror on his face, I quickly look for something to help me jump from the plane, I find a backpack with something you can pull hanging off of it before pulling a lever, as the plane back opens, I jump. I wait a few seconds before pulling for the parachute. It doesn't open. I brace for impact as I hit the water.