Here is your most awaited chapter. Enjoy my loves!
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Something is off. I can feel it from the pit of my stomach. I have something I own that I am bound to lose today. However, I can't distinguish what it might be. Is it something important? Never did I label my possessions as important. The only thing I care about is the Kingdom that Satan passed down to me and his son. Other than that two, everything and everyone can leave my life if they want.
"Your Majesty, is there something wrong?" I was distracted by the concern voice of my companion. We are currently flying in the air, heading towards the castle in north that is being dominated by Asmodeus daughter. She requested for me to visit because there are major problems.
I stared at my Head Warrior. Jeongguk's face passing my mind. Without second thoughts, I took a U-turn and head back to my castle. The unknown yet bad feeling swirling in my stomach grew as I get closer and closer. I doubled my speed to reached the castle faster. When I landed, I hurriedly walked to the room where I confined him.
In front of the room, three devils are passed out. My heart beat faster. Is it too late!? My thoughts were confirmed when I opened the door and the occupant is nowhere to be seen. I closed my fist until my knuckles turn white. Damn it! Unknowingly, my fist hit the hard stone wall causing for it to crack. He left me.
Part of me feels relief that he finally got out of my grip. This just meant I will not be able to hurt him further, taint his already tainted innocence and break his heart once again. However, another part of me screams to get him back. Dictating my mind that I need him in my life and I can't lose him again for the third time. The latter won the battle. I trashed the room, taking out my anger on whatever my hands reach.
The ruckus I made and the loud sound of the things that I crushed awoke the three sleeping beauties on the floor. The maid shivered at the sight of the once neat room. The two guards were no less than her, however, they are more afraid because they already know what will happen to the both of them for failing to guard one weak human. How can he escape!? These guards are far more larger and experienced than him! Yet he successfully did!
"Speak! Now!" I demanded. The three immediately fell on their knees.
"W-we b-beg your..your p-pardon, Y-Your M-Majesty. W-We were just g-guarding the door w-when this m-maid came t-to deliver f-food. H-However, in..in the m-middle of u-unlocking t-the door, she..she collapsed and w-we soon f-followed.." One of the guards said on the behalf of his two companions. The said companions nodded their head to confirm that what the guard said is true.
My jaw clenched as my teeth grind together. They were knocked unconscious from the outside, meaning, Jeongguk has someone to help him escape. I rethink anyone who could possibly do so. His former bodyguard has left my castle to serve Beelzebub's son, there is where I dumped him after I heard the rumors about him and Jeongguk. I mentally marked an X on his name. My brother couldn't do so as he is training in the castle of Mammon's son. I hardly doubt it is my mom, she couldn't even stroll freely in the castle.
My head ached when I tried to ransacked it. Damn it! The only person who have the balls to rescue Jeongguk despite knowing the heavy punishment is his cousin. However, I put a spell to prevent her from getting close to Jeongguk. I have a valid reason and a promise to Satan that is connected as to why I forbid the cousins to meet each other.
"Find him! Find him! Find him!" Effortlessly, I lifted the table and tossed on the wall. The poor table shattered completely but it didn't help cooling down my boiling blood.
The maid and two guards scattered, all going on their ways to seek for Jeongguk. Eventually, everyone in the castle is looking for the said half human. I tried looking for him myself but every attempt is futile. I only get one conclusion and that is the fact that Jeongguk is nowhere my reach anymore.
Returning back to the empty room where he once resided, I once again trashed it. The maids who pass by look at me with fear in their eyes. I yelled for them to scatter away and find me the man. Minutes later, Jeongguk's cousin showed up. She tried so hard to hide the smug look surfacing in her fake facade. It angered me more when she left me in the state of confusion. Later, I delivered a telepathic message to her.
"Take good care of him and don't let him out of your grasp. Because once I see him again, I will claim him as mine.."
Eclipsa didn't respond but I'm one hundred percent sure she received my warning. It is not only an empty word because I swore when I successfully tracked him down, I will not let him to leave my side again. After taking in reality that Jeongguk is really nowhere to be found, I sat down on the bed that once had his warmth. The same bed where I did a lot of misdeed to him.
The regret is piling over my shoulders. I'm the one to be blamed for everything that's happening, but still, I couldn't let go of him. I still want him beside me after all the bad things and tortures I did. I forced my self to him and repeated the bad deed countless times. Despite that, I still want to be close to him. I couldn't let go. I'm greedy and selfish, and that caused him to flee from my territory.
Admittedly, it also hurts me to see him curled up on the bed beside me when I first did it with him. The anger clouded my judgement preventing me from holding back the beast inside my body. I couldn't take in the fact that he was avoiding me yet treating that lowly guard so freely. I refused to hear his excuses and purposely closed my hearing senses. The rumors I heard from the maidservants also didn't help but make me even more enraged.
Once the beast inside was satiated, I would return to my usual self and apologize to Jeongguk's passed out and worn out body. But in the end, I will make the same mistake again. It happened a lot more until I realized that I've been too harsh on him. I reflected on my action and drowned myself in kingdom matters. I visited other castles just so I could be far from Jeongguk and I could refrain my self from hurting him again.
I regretted everything from the very start. I shouldn't have met him again after all. My presence in his life only brings pain and misfortune. Truthfully, when I found him again when he was hit by a truck, I was indeed happy. But he doesn't know me. I know the reason as to why he seem to forget my existence. Satan also told me before the day he died that he wished for his son to forget everything about hell and it's creatures. But that is impossible, considering that Jeongguk is also a devil and it is only a matter of time before he became aware of his own kind.
At first, I only want to stay close to him. To watch how he's doing after all the years that we are separated. I didn't intend to drag him back to his birthplace. However, Jeana died and that leads to one problem to another. I had no choice but to bring him back to hell with me. It brings me joy, being able to take him to his original home where he and I grew up together until that incident happened. I once wished that everything would turn to normal and we would live side by side like how I promised him when we were kids.
Unfortunately, problems are neverending. I didn't want anyone to know about Jeongguk's existence. He is branded as dead long time ago. If anyone found out that he's the supposed to be dead son of Satan, I know his life would be in danger again. Jeongguk has also no interest in taking the throne despite knowing that he is the rightful heir. Instead, he choose to be a lowkey manservant of mine. Part of me was happy but another part of me thought that he's only saying that because his memories are sealed. When he was a child, he would always say how he wants to take over the kingdom and be a great leader.
The problems keep showing one after the other. The elders claimed that I should produce an heir to the throne and that can only be attained if my partner is from the Royal bloodline so the flow of history would not be tarnished. Satan's half brother persistently insisted that her daughter should be the one I'm marrying. Eclipsa. The beloved cousin of Jeongguk.
When I saw her together with Jeongguk, I immediately remembered that one promise I made to Satan that I am yet to break.
'Do not let my son be close to anyone who might trigger his memories. I don't want him to remember everything that happened to him before he died' was what Satan told me. Thus, when I saw him with Eclipsa I immediately forbid him from meeting the devil again.
Due to that, our bond begin to break. The crack only seem to widened when he found out about my engagement to his cousin. It was just a play to satisfy the elders tricks. I had no intention in marrying Eclipsa because I already set my heart for Jeongguk only. But I cannot reveal his identity yet because threats are always around. Once I got rid of those people, I will break the engagement and marry Jeongguk instead.
But my calculations are wrong. It leads to where we are now. I forgot that I can be easily consumed by anger. And that resulted to a very wrong decision. Now I have hurt him tenfold. There is no way I would be able to claim him again. There is now way he will ever forgive me and forget what such things happened to him. Still, I'm still hoping there would be a slight chance. Even if it is a tiny bit.
I have broken the engagement long since Jeongguk disappeared. I don't care about the elders comments and complaints. I will live forever so I don't think I need a heir to the throne. I've deafened my ear to their foul mouths. They cannot do anything to defy my decisions. They are still under me even if they are the elders. They shut their mouth for now. However, I know it will not be too long until they plan to drag me from the throne. They might be starting now.
A sigh escaped my lips when I came to the conclusion that I will not be able to concentrate with such cloudy mind. My brain is wondering too far. With a heavy heart, I put down the paper containing complaints. It seems that the issues in my kingdom only doubled up after Jeongguk disappeared. However, no one is to be blamed but me.
I've neglected my kingdom duties to search for Jeongguk in the human realm. I passed my work to my mother and brother thus it didn't surprised me to be greeted by hundred piles of requests and complaints. I only stopped searching myself when I realized how hard it is for Mother and Mark to take care of the kingdom while I'm gone. But the search didn't ceased. I assigned my Head Warrior to do the work. Now, he's the one going crazy looking for Jeongguk all over the globe.
Another heavy sigh came out my lips. I twist the chair I'm sitting on to stare outside my window. From here I could see the commotion down the town. Another random thought assaulted my mind. Is this also the future if I ever confessed my feelings for him? Will he accept me? One thing is for sure, I will need a lot of luck to make him forgive me.
"Greetings—"
Due to reflex, I threw a ball of fire to the direction where a voice suddenly resonated. My eyes landed on the surprised and terrified face of Jimin.
"What the fuck is your problem!?" I yelled.
"What the hell!?" Jimin yelled back. "You're the one who almost kill me! What is wrong with you!?" He touched the side of his face that almost got roasted 5 seconds ago. Good thing he has fast reflex, he managed to dodged my attack. Then again, he's not my Head Warrior for nothing.
I tossed the nonsense bickering aside and get down to business. Him coming here means there's something he needs to report. "What's new?"
Jimin sighed in defeat and turn to his serious mode. "It's about Jeongguk.." My heart beat faster with the mention of his name. I become irritated when Jimin paused, eyeing me intensely as if contemplating wether to deliver the message to me or not.
"What!? Go on.."
"Someone might have seen him.."
"Might have?"
"Yeah. It's not yet confirmed. They said they only see a glimpse. Moreover, the one they see is with a child. Most likely 4 to 6 years old. Do you think it's possible for Jeongguk to have a child?" Jimin asked, looking at me expectantly. The idea crushes my heart even more. Is it already too late to patch things back?
"I... It's not impossible. How long has it been since he disappeared?"
"Almost 4 years.."
I only nodded in acknowledgement. Yeah, it is never impossible for him to have a kid. It has been so long, he might have overcome the trauma. He's a tough one so it's no wonder he can escape the chains of the past.
"What do you plan to do?"
My back slumped on the chair. I sighed heavily as I think about the news. My head is throbbing slightly. Again, I am being separated into two. One part of me want to chase him, I want to bring him back, I want him beside me again. However, there is always the opposite side. That side keep telling me that I should not destroy the peace he has now. I'm the cause of his pain, showing up once again in front of him will cause nothing but hurt him. What should I do? I'm really desperate to see him again. But I do not have the rights anymore. I lost it the moment I forced my self to him.
I heard Jimin sighed. "You're such an asshole, you know that?" The air around him relaxed as he act familiar with me.
I lowered down my head. He doesn't need to tell me that because I am the most aware of that fact.
"You sexual abused the guy. You controlled his life. You know he has feelings for you but you ignored it—"
"Because I wanted him to be safe!"
"Having you around? He will never be safe. What bullshit character are you playing!? You are the danger who's harming him. Get a grip of yourself, Dis. Why can't you just end the contract and let the kid go? He deserves so much better than suffering beside you.."
"You don't understand! I can't let him go!"
"Then you prefer seeing him miserable under your care? He will never be happy with you. You should accept that. End the contract. Set him free.."
"I can't do that.."
"Bullshit! Why!? What acceptable reason are you still holding onto?"
"I lost the contract! I lost it! Even if I want to destroy it myself how can I when it's already gone?"
"What?" He asked in disbelieve. His eyes focused on me as if to see if I'm making up stories.
It's true. When Jeongguk first disappeared, I didn't know what to do. Having him gone pierced my heart. The pain keep returning whenever I would look at somewhere and see his illusion there. The face that was once innocent and jubilant. Mark offered me a drink one day and it leads to me getting drunk and wasted. In the midst of drunken state, I brought out the contract. My anger rise as I stare at it so I ordered someone to get rid of it. When I came to my usual self after waking up, I couldn't remember who I handed the contract. Mark can't remember anything. Stupid brother of mine!
Jimin laughed after I finished telling him the story. Suddenly, the mood has been lifted. "You are the dumbest friend I have. That's what you get when you don't invite me.." He sighed. I can only slump my back on the chair again and massage my forehead.
"I don't know what to do.." I stated after the moment of silence. "I want him back. But I know that's impossible. I'm such an idiot.."
"Mm..true. But you love him too don't you?"
As I hear the question, Jeongguk's face that is still as clear as a day in my memory entered my mind. My lips rose up but I didn't meet the gaze of Jimin. "I do.." I have always love him from the beginning. But I couldn't admit to his face because back then I just want him to stay by my side. I just want him close to me. "But I don't have the right to love him anymore." I rose from my feet. "You're right, Head Warrior. I should set him free.." I turned around to face the town again. "You are dismissed.."
"Dis.."
I took a sharp glance at him and he clearly understand. Jimin bowed before facing his back to me and walking out of my study room. I let out a sigh. Live the way you want to be. I'm not gonna bother you anymore. If it's true that you have a child now and is happy, then I will not intervene in your life.
"You are free now.."
-
"Leave my castle and don't come back! I don't need a slut as my maidservant! You should be shameful of yourself."
The girl with half naked body ran like a deer terrified of its hunter. The veins in my temple are popping out due to anger.
"Whew.... That's the...30...31..32...33...THIRTY FOURTH! maidservant you fired. The manservants are not even included.." Asmodeus daughter showed me a smirk, clearly enjoying the drama. I scowled at her.
"Why are you here, Mara?" My teeth are still clenching as I recall what happened earlier. She is right, I have fired a lot of servants for the same reasons. I assigned a replacement for Jeongguk but for some reason everyone that I pick came to be a whore who climbs my bed when I'm asleep. Woman or man, there are no exception. I always woke up with their naked body wrapped around mine.
"Visiting. I'm bored in my castle, all of the devils there are horny as fuck!"
"What do you expect? They are called succubus and incubus for that reason."
She just shrugged her shoulders.
"Go home, Mara. There are nothing for you to see here.."
"Not quite right. Rumors says you become like my uncle when he lost his family. I want to see for myself if that's true.."
Mara grinned and wiggle her eyebrows. It made me want to snapped at her but I held back my self. She's not someone I should cross with. She may act carefree and looks weak but she's not the daughter of Asmodeus for nothing. Although, Mara didn't inherit the calm and stoic posture of her mother, she's still as strong as her. I ignored her presence and went back inside my room to change some clothes. The scent of that ungrateful woman still lingers.
I have abandoned Jeongguk's room and occupied my original room. Though I'm not using Jeongguk's room anymore, I didn't neglected it. Isabella is the one I assigned to take care of it.
Everything went back as if he was never here. No one speaks of him. Maybe afraid that I'll lash out at them for saying the forbidden name. No one is gossiping about what happened. None is questioning anything even my own mother. In truth, our relationship also drifted apart because I busied myself in kingdom matters to forget about Jeongguk. I hate my self for becoming like this but it's not like I'm kind and ruler material before. My cold behavior only worsen to the point that they compared me to the old Satan.
I shook my head at that absurdity. Perhaps it has been so long that they forgot how Satan really is. They forgot how he is much more ruthless. I'm not even close to half of his cruelty. If Satan wakes up with a naked unknown woman in his bed, he will behead her without second thoughts. They are lucky that I'm only banishing them. But then again, the rumors are not entirely wrong. The history really repeated. A king lost someone close to his heart and he suddenly become a cold blooded beast.
At the end of the day, Mara is expectedly disappointed that the rumors are only rumors. She wanted to see more suffering just like when Satan is the king but unfortunately, I still have a heart. Even though it has a void in it. She left my castle unhappily. Not that I care if she meet up her demands. In fact, I hardly even care about anything anymore.
What is there to care when you are not them?
With that thought in mind, I return to my chamber. Everything is in abyss. Bit by bit I am breaking down internally. I may act and look like I am okay on the outside but I can't deny that I'm falling to pieces on the inside. I don't even believe I can get through this trial without him. Specially when I know his whereabouts yet I'm restraining myself from coming to him. It's beginning to become harder each day. How long will I last without you? It has been so long, have you forgotten about me and this place? I am willing to get on my knees and sacrifice everything I have just so I could be with you happily.
Nothing matters anymore. I don't feel anything but void and emptiness. Everytime that I would wake up, I will search for your silliness. It's not the same thing. I'm not opening my eyes because you pour cold water on my face. There are no laugh and giggles accompanying the cold room. The one I fight with food during mealtime is gone. The person I would turn to after fighting and protecting the kingdom is no longer here. I don't have someone to tease. It is true when they said you will never know what you had unless you lose it.
"Why are you so fixated on that human? I can give you more than what he can.." A beautiful full naked woman appeared before my eyes when I opened my eyes. She's different from the other ones. I know who this presence belong to.
The said woman is sitting on top of me. Her two oversized breast dangling like accessories. There is a piece of red cloth hanging on her body, sliding from her shoulders. If I didn't know who this person is I might've beheaded her in an instant. She run her finger on my chest in a seductive manner. My brows furrowed in irritation. Ugh... I'm having a headache because of this cousins. "Don't try your luck, Ceris." I massage my temple and tightly shut my eyes. Why are they all sick in the head!?
"Are you impotent or something? How are you not hard despite seeing these!?" She held both of her chest and shoved it to my face. My patience is running thinner and thinner the more I stayed in this place.
"Move.." She landed on the floor quite hard when I pushed her aside.
There was poof sound a moment later and a bit smoke appeared. "You're no fun.." Ceris groaned in detest. He is back on his original form. Yeah, he is a man. Nah scratch that he's a kid. Although he may act childish everytime, he is also powerful. The only son Belphegor have. And that's correct, he can imitate anyone.
"This is getting suspicious. Why are you appearing one after the other?"
"What do you mean? Who came here before me?"
"Your female cousin.."
He thought for a moment before snapping his fingers. "Mara! Why was she here?" I rolled my eyes. Idiot. Why did he have to think? That woman is his only female cousin.
"None of your business. Why are you here?"
"So mean." Ceris pouted, made me want to slice his ungrateful lips. "I want to borrow your Head Warrior. My new army is too many. Helk can't handle them all at once."
"No. Goul is not something I own, if you need him, ask for his permission."
"Alrighty! Adios!"
Ceris moved like a lightning. In a split second, he's already out of my sight. I groaned in irritation and went to take a bath. I've had enough of trying to have a normal personal servant. I stopped walking after three steps when I felt something wrong. A light suddenly appeared beside me, it's so bright that I had to cover my eyes. My eyes widened when I felt that the light is sucking me in. A sudden realization hit me in the midst of trying to hold myself in place.
This has happened before. That day when he's pleading to be saved from death. This is the exact reason why I found him again. This is how I located him. The frozen heart beat erratically again. Is he dying for the second time? That's impossible. Unless the contract is broken by me he can't die because his life is endless. Without thinking twice, I let myself get sucked in the light. It took a long time for the blinding light to finally disappear.
Darkness greeted me. There are trees and grass and a familiar road. I'm in the human realm. I turned around to look where that light took me. To my surprise, the familiar mansion that I once lived in came to my sight. Why am I here? Why did that light appeared again? I didn't hesitate to walk towards the door. After I opened it, the corner of my eyes started to sting. There, in the middle of the living room, the person I longed to see the most is standing. This must be a dream. But from the bottom of my heart, I hope it is not.
"Bunny.."
^^
A/n: cliffhanger hihihihihihi. What do you think of the chapter? What do you think of my man V? Don't forget to vote!!
Ps:It's quite long. I'm sorry for taking too long to update. Life has been so hard. Jk.