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Xavier x reader
Ocean blue eyes, looking in mine
I feel like I might,
sink and drown and die
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The pulsating rhythm across the hallway of the entrance, vibrating the ground as my heart beating simultaneously to the beat of the music. The muffled chatter of the crowd becomes loud as soon as I reach towards the door, a security person opened it allowing me to enter further.
With my mind in haze, I look around the crowded club with upbeat and loud music for a bar. I eventually found it and made myself there, while everyone minded their own businesses and dancing against the colourful ground illuminating the dark room. My shoulder colliding with the people around me as they were blocking my way, but I ignored all the stares and glares they shoot at me.
The sound of laughter and the clinking of glasses nearby has awakened me from the haze. I reluctantly searched for an empty seat before thinking on what to order. The bartender caught me in his eye as I approached an empty seat. "Two shots of tequila please," I ordered to the bartender. "On it, ma'am," the bartender slipped out two tiny glasses onto the table and started pouring the liquor into them.
My eyes wander around, realizing that less people are around me in this area. The noises around me starts to descend as the thoughts running in my head turned louder. I closed my eyes shut and sighed, then it was all gone.
"Here it is." Two glasses of liquor appeared infront of my eyes on the table. "Thanks," I mumbled before taking a gulp of one shot, feeling the burning and the bitterness of the alcohol running down through my throat.
My thoughts were still a mess. Thinking about our relationship between my boyfriend and I, as well as the stressful university life I am experiencing right now, and other things in life that I doubt.
I could feel the vibrate in my pocket, probably a notification from someone who is obviously not my boyfriend since he is busy with other stuff rather than spending time with me or even checking up on me. In fact, he doesn't seem to care anymore and matters his own business more.
The screen lit up onto my face as I opened my phone, showing a notification from my collegue from university (I can say that we are friends) — Xavier.
Xavier :
Let's have dinner tonight.
I still have some matter to discuss with you regarding our project.
I exhaled and turned off the screen with a heavy feeling in my chest. Therefore, the liquor has engulfed me with ecstasy and slowly discarding the feeling of guilt away from me.
Xavier :
Why are you not responding?
I didn't realize for how long I left him on read until his notification appeared again as my screen lit up itself. With annoyance, I decided to reply back to his message.
You :
I am not available.
I didn't care on how rude I sounded and whether I offended his feelings or not, at this point I just wanted time for myself and enjoy this feeling of without any restriction from anyone. My phone vibrated again as the screen lit up, the irritated look on my face as I view the notification once again.
Xavier :
Is he with you?
What are you doing now?
You :
He is in the club and god knows what he is doing.
Xavier :
Are you okay?
At this point I regret on telling him about my relationship, although he would know it himself without me telling him about it. Not to mention that my boyfriend used to be his colleague. However, I convince myself at the moment that venting my feelings to him about my relationship is not necessary and I shall not do it again.
You :
I'm fine, just meet up tomorrow.
Xavier :
You don't seem well.
I'm driving to your house now.
You :
You don't have to.
My head turned dizzy due to the liquor shots I consumed, without realizing that I demanded for more shots to conquer the insanely loud thoughts in my head.
Upcoming call from Xavier...
Without hesitation, I accepted the call and started mumbling out words randomly whatever comes through my head to him. I could hear his yelling across the screen over the loud upbeat music. Everything is in a blur so I turn off the call.
I insert my phone into my pocket and stood up from my seat, surprisingly without losing my balance against my wobbly legs. I walked towards the dance floor with the crowd of people swaying their bodies to the music. Then a doubt came across my mind which stopped me, what if my boyfriend caught me? Plus, my initial plan was to find him.
I shook my head away from the thoughts, trying not to care regarding about his matter anymore. I decided to dance in the crowd of people, alone. I move my hips along with the rhythym of the music. My eyes were closed as a smile curved on my lips, amused by the feeling of freedom at this moment.
As if on cue, that thought disappeared as soon as a pair of hands snake around my waist. My eyes were still shut but the smile on my face disappeared. The feeling of goosebumps from my arms travels throughout my skin. I didn't have the courage yet to turn around or even open my eyes to see the person behind me.
I grasp onto the pair of muscular arms around me, as his scent is familiar to my nose. I shoot my eyes open and turn my head to the side to have a look of the person in the corner of my eye. The tall figure holding himself close to me has a very familiar style of attire.
"Xavier?" I groaned out. He let out a chuckle as a response. "How did you manage to find me?" I blurted out.
"What do you mean? There are only two clubs in this city and this one is the closest one to your place. I assumed you're here."
"Hehe," I lost my balance as he held me tightly in his arms, allowing him to maintain my balance from falling. "$?&#%^!!" I muttered out words randomly, realizing my hands were still holding onto his arms around me.
"Let me go!!" I demanded while hitting his arm lightly. Instead, he lower his head onto my nape. His warm breath stroking against my skin caused shivers down to my spine. "You're cute when you're drunk," he laughed as he rested his chin on my shoulder.
"I'm not drunk! Just a little tipsy."
"Its not safe to be alone in these places," his tone became alarming. I could feel myself shiver again from his breath stroking against my neck. I let out a short laugh to ease myself. "Dance with me," it wasn't an offer, its a demand from me to him.
He chuckled, turning me around to face him by quickly and gracefully holding my hands and interwind them with his. Realizing our faces are just an inch away from each other, my heart pounding inside my chest as we stare deeply into one another's eyes. His blue orbs looking in mine, making me feel flustered with my cheeks flushed even more — aside from the alcohol effect. His mezmerizing and breathtaking features.
His arms around my waist and my hands on his shoulders. I want to remain in this position along with him forever or atleast, as long as possible. However, I feel ridiculous at the same time due to my flushed cheeks that might seem like tomatoes as well as my heart pounding which he can possibly hear from this such-short distance.
My gaze focused on his blue messy hair to escape from his suffocating stare, then I pointed my index finger towards behind him. "Wait, is that-?" He darted his head to check the view behind him. The expression on his face was annoyance with his eyes squinted when he looked at me, then it turned into surprise and anger which seemed as if he was fuming at me.
"What? I'm just joking," I giggled.
"No, its really him," his tone was serious. However, I refused to believe. "Wait what?"
"I started to doubt whether you're drunk too," I added as his face turned pale when he caught him looking towards us. My eyes widen as I turned quite sober this time, my breath hitched at the sight. My boyfriend stood from a distance and glanced towards our way, although it was just a fraction of second before he looked away again nonchalantly. Perhaps, he mistaken us as someone else.
Regardless, Xavier sprinted away with as he clutch onto my hand, escorting ourselves away from the area. My mind is still quite hazy due to the alcohol, I nearly stumble myself along the way. Xavier slowed down his pace as we reach behind a wall. The lighting are rather dimmer in this area. He lightly push me against the wall, resting his right hand against the wall above my head. Basically, he is pinning me onto the wall.
He stick his head out to peek the crowd, for any signs of the person we are escaping from as he pant in exhaustment. His left hand rooting around for my hand as his eyes still peeking in anticipation. Xavier grasp his hand onto mine as my heart raced. Butterflies in my stomach erupted blissfully.
I wish we could stay this close towards each other, it makes me miserable on how I can't have you. I have always appreciate and love his presence around me, his warmth against me. He drive me crazy everytime, as if he could read my mind and has an intention to every single of his actions to make me feel things that I shouldn't.
I am currently in a relationship with another man, but Xavier is such a dream and ideal man to me, he is gorgeous. He has stolen my heart and I fell for him.
He sighed, "Let's head home." His eyes already looking in mine once again. "We should," I agreed. His hand interwined to mine again, this feeling made me became hesitant.
"Xavier," I called his name. "Hmm?" He hummed in response. I closed my mouth shut, unable to express the words. On second thought, I don't want to express them.
"Nevermind, we should go."
He pull me away from the area and towards the exit. My eyes were on him for the whole journey to his car, and our hands against each other. I don't think this is a normal thing to do as friends.
"Xavier." He was about to raise his hand to unlock the car and stopped moving for a moment. "Are we friends?" I asked with slight hesitation.
"Of course, we are friends," he instantly answered with his eyes on the keys in his hand. The headlights of the car lit up then he signal me to enter the front passenger seat. I obeyed and entered the car, feeling nervous and embarassed on my unnecessary question to him earlier.
He started the engine and the car escalated away. The tension within me locked my muscles from moving even just an inch. There was nothing but the sound of the vehicles swooshed and the streets around.
"I want you to break up with your boyfriend." With his eyes were still on the road, his voice was stern. I flinched at his abrupt words that broke the silence. "Why?" I blurted out.
"After all of these days he has been ignoring you?" He glanced at me for a second with his eyebrows raised. "But I still love him," I instinctively and unashamedly, blurted out lies at him. My curiosity awaiting for his reaction.
He remained silent for a moment with his mouth slightly gaped, seemingly speechless. "Not as much as I love you."
"I can love you more than him. In fact, I do."
I shut my mouth, astonished at his statement. He made me speechless, even more than I did to him. I gulped as I observed his ears turning into a bright shade of red, his eyes still on the road and his hands clutching onto the steering wheel.
My mind in a sober state, I was able to think over and gained courage for myself to speak up my feelings, finally being able to reveal them. It feels wrong but it is how I feel, and I deserve better. Recalling on how my boyfriend treated me these days, I realize on how immature he has become. How funny he has become on ignoring my sincerity towards him, I was the only one who was putting effort in the relationship.
Finally, I decided to speak up.
"I'll reconsider that, but I have to let you know that-"
"I love you too Xavier, more than I do to him."