A/N Look how excited you guys are i can just see it
the way i stalled writing this chapter cos wowwww figuring out how to redo the iconic glaciator episode for the AU was a mental challenge. AND THEN the chapter just kept going bc Marichat (unlike the show) loves their screen time in this fic apparently. So i gotta split it and even this is pretty long so ENJOY
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Months ago, if you told Marinette that she would reject a date with Chat Noir to go on a triple date with Adrien, she probably would've turned over her miraculous because no one with that limited number of brain cells should ever be deemed sane enough to take care of Paris.
But in the present, there were new stakes; new lies; new gut-wrenching acts of tarnishing morale where she had to give a tight-lipped smile to Alya agreeing to look for André's sweetheart ice cream that evening beside her "boyfriend" Adrien, and the other happy couples.
And if Marinette and Adrien had any similarities, it was their unreliability.
Marinette had her excuses—being an overworked superhero and all that jazz—but just had a big celebrity schedule and no backbone to stand up to his father. A shocker that was because he had no trouble acting as if he had balls when it came to giving her a piece of his mind. Nonetheless, that first day they met when she accused him of doing as he pleased being a result of nepotism hadn't escaped her. It was etched deep like an explicit carving with reckless linework into her memory – that bone-chilling tone when he told her to "never bring up" his father again wouldn't be forgotten, and likely, it was the climax of his simple desire to prank and pester her sharpening to fine hatred.
For months she assumed the outburst was a trigger from finally being called out; that maybe he liked to believe he achieved his status, popularity, and conceitedness out of his own hard work, and he ran away as the token famous-kid rebellion act. But the other day her world spun on its head and she learnt too much about him: He was a shackled animal that craved an escape from whatever fancy doghouse booked him five appointments a day (aka a home-schooled kid that had never been to the movies).
Either way, it still held an explanation for the ill-manneredness of Adrien Agreste.
And she wasn't about to be thrown in the same boat. She'd raised enough suspicions about her relationship with Adrien and Alya had been insisting they go on a date to 'rekindle the fire' they once (never) had - since there was no evidence of Adrien and Marinette hanging out by themselves on purpose. Romantically.
So she promised Alya she'd go with the group of actual lovers, and she would not be the one that would continue her flaking-streak unless hero duty called. Especially if inevitably, Adrien would get stood up and she'd be the terrible girlfriend who, that time, actually had no excuse – as much as Chat's doe-eyed plea was just about a pretty good one.
"So uh, Ladybug. What would you say if you and I met up for... a little dinner. Rooftop style."
No. No. No. No!
Well, yes (multiplied by a thousand) but no! Why tonight?! As if she hadn't dreamed of him asking her questions along similar lines like, "for a date?", and "by the way do you want to get married?".
"Dinner?" She hoped he didn't hear her heart jumping up her throat. "As superheroes?"
"Yeah, that's right. We're only with each other when we're saving Paris." As he let people off the bus they'd just caught from crashing, he grinned brilliantly. "I mean, wouldn't you actually like to get to know each other better?"
"I...." would. She most certainly would. "That's so thoughtful of you, but I... I can't. I already have plans with some friends."
Adding, 'and fake-boyfriend" just didn't sit right on the tongue. Plus, Chat somewhat knew about the nameless nuisance in her life, and he had one of his own too. They'd bond over having to deal with their civilian enemies often when a fight beside the lockers left her real up. So, she was never going to tell Chat—the love her of life, the skip between heartbeats, the greatest view in Paris—that she had deigned to fake-date her foe (for the sake of her identity, but still).
As Chat readied himself to leapt away, he winked. "Well, if your plans end early, come and join me."
She really, really wished the plans would.
"Adrien's dad isn't letting him go out."
Especially since Adrien never bothered showing.
Alya held her shoulders consolingly as she retold Nino's text, and now Marinette stood alone with four other people on the Trocadéro pavement, swallowing her scream.
She skipped a date-like evening with the man she'd die instantly for, for a fake date with the guy who made her want to instantly die, who never ended up showing, because, as it seemed, she wasn't a good enough excuse to escape his house for – although every other time he was fine with it! And she was his girlfriend! His fake girlfriend, but still. Didn't he care about how that looked? Not making an effort to sneak out for her even though he could at least try? Ugh. And he always gave her talk for not "acting" well enough. He'd be impossible to date in real life.
"So he's not coming?"
"Sorry, girl. I know it must be hard having a boyfriend you don't get to hang out with much outside of school." Oh, she saw him enough. "But it's still going to be so fun looking for André's magical ice cream. They say couples that eat ice cream at Andre's will stay in love forever." Alya stilled realising her mistake and rubbed the back of her neck. "I mean, that's just a rumour. I'm sure Adrien not being here won't affect anything."
Well, she wasn't going to stick around long for some bogus ice cream she'd have to traipse half of Paris for while fifth-wheeling Nino, Alya, Myléne, and Ivan.
Once they found the cart, she sadly received a peach and mint ice cream, and when the choruses of "your love will materialise" and "Andre's ice cream never fails" grated her ear, someone ran past and knocked her ice cream out of her hands. And that just about did it. She left with a grilling note hoping and praying she could catch Chat Noir in time.
Turns out, André was pretty sensitive about people calling his creations "just ice cream".
"She loves me... She loves me not... She loves me..."
Chat Noir's eyes shallowed upon the pale, merciless glow of the last candle he had to blow out.
Frankly, Adrien didn't even know he was supposed to be going out with his friends until Nino literally only remembered to tell him that evening – after the mental war he experienced preparing to ask Ladybug to a candlelit rooftop date the same night. Now it looked like he'd ditched Marinette and a premonition that she would not be happy with that came upon him. But he didn't spend a penny longer thinking about it.
He had asked Ladybug on a date—Well, a dinner. But if he played his cards right, the evening could fall somewhere between a hang-out and the best night of his life. Maybe he would confess. Maybe they would reveal their identities and get married. Maybe not. If all else, he just wanted to spend time with her. His stomach had been tying knots all afternoon.
And for what? She didn't even show.
For once in his life, maybe he should've listened to Plagg. She did say she had plans and seemed skittish when he'd invited her. Perhaps it did come across as a date and she got scared because she hated his guts and only bantered with him to make light of the job she was forced to do beside him!
He steeled his breath, gripping the cool rail and scanning his eyes across the opal city.
Pink light on a familiar rooftop caused his heart to hiccup.
Before he could rationally think, which seemed to be a pattern that day, he leapt over with his baton as Marinette emerged from her sky window.
"Spots—!"
"Hello."
"Ahh!"
(Stealth was sort of his thing with Marinette. Even as Adrien.)
Panic scattered across her blanched face, she took in the black figure perched on the chimney. "Chat Noir?"
Honestly, he was just as surprised that he was there. He got rejected by Ladybug so he stumbled on Marinette's roof minutes later? That wasn't very hates-Marinette's-guts of him. What was he expecting visiting her? Validation because he was her superhero crush to make him feel better?
No. He really just wanted company. Even if it was Marinette's.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have... superhero-y things to do?"
He landed with all fours on her sunburst railing. "No... I don't feel like being a superhero tonight. And I also..." he swallowed his pride, thickly, "I don't feel like being alone tonight. Would you mind if I hung out here for a little bit?"
A quality of "no way is this happening right now" sprang into her blue eyes and she blinked. "Uh, I'm—yeah. Yeah of course. I'd love that."
Pfft. Marinette liking his company.
He turned his back and sat facing the remaining moonlight that fell over Paris houses like silk blankets. "Marinette, right? We've met each other before."
He heard a little squeak.
"Yeah! A bunch of times. Uh—I mean, yes, we have. One time a supervillain fell in love with me. Talk about bad luck."
He wanted to joke about how a supervillain was the only, and most suitable thing to fall in love with her, but he couldn't banter because he wasn't Adrien.
"Seriously." He sighed. "My luck is terrible. Especially in the..." Love department, he wanted to say, to get the whole Ladybug angst off his chest, rant about how he had a special surprise for her where he'd finally tell her that for all his flirting he was genuinely, helplessly in love with her.
But Marinette didn't deserve to hear her celebrity crush (whose face was everywhere in her room) admit to her personally that he was in love with someone that wasn't her.
—Not to spare her feelings or anything. He knew she didn't have those.
"I don't know what I was trying to say. It's just– I had this whole dinner thing set up for Ladybug. Just because I wanted to... hang out... as friends with her."
A hunter's moon hovered in the Parisian sky; the lavish embrace of light overhead the rooftops reminding Chat of how perfect the elegant evening would have been.
A small voice was behind him, "You wanted to hang out as... friends?"
His jaw tightened, head hanging low as he stared at nothing in particular. "That's all we are, anyway." He sighed. "But it doesn't matter. She never showed. She told me she might not make it but I had my fingers crossed."
Marinette toed over and rested her elbows on the railing as they both watched the moon in sober silence. He never expected such a moment with Marinette – for one, both of them were quiet—no jabs, arguments, or murder threats—and especially not after he had just held the burnt fantasy of his and Ladybug's relationship potential and watched the ashes fade.
"Sometimes people just don't show up whether we know why or not," she said softly, the end curls of her ponytail falling on her shoulder. His gut fell like a brick. He never showed up. "It sounds like we both need some cheering up."
He looked at her carefully. Her dark lashes fluttered as she took in the deep colour pooling on the horizon, appearing as down as he felt. Her side profile was so beautiful. Goodness, how he hated her inexplicitly.
"You... You were stood up tonight, too?"
Her full lips pressed. "I had other plans. Ones I really wanted to go to. But I'd already promised to be somewhere else. For him. But he didn't even show up." She bent forward to rest her delicate face over her crossed arms, beholding the city with eyes that tried not to look hurt. "Turns out the other plans didn't end up being what I had hoped, anyway... Saved me the embarrassment. But going on a triple date alone is embarrassing enough."
Chat held onto their stillness a little too long. There were a lot of reasons he hated Marinette, but her unintentionally wracking him with hives of guilt now made the top three. He didn't know about the triple date until he'd already bought candles and rose petals for the night and practised ten variants of the confessing-his-love speech.
"Date?" he mustered. "Your... boyfriend stood you up?"
"I'm sure it wasn't his fault."
Chat Noir squinted. Marinette would give anything to not give him the benefit of the doubt; to misconstrue any situation to paint him as the heartless supervillain just to add to her eternal list of reasons not to grant him a second chance. If there was ever a miscommunication, she'd milk it to his disfavour.
"Well," Chat rolled his shoulders back, "it sounds like it was his fault. Who abandons their girlfriend? He sounds pretty terrible."
A muscle in her jaw ticked. Oh, the words she would've been fighting at that moment.
"His dad didn't let him out."
Chat stared, hard, preying on the silence so she'd say more.
"I don't know much about his family – it's a sensitive topic. I'm sure he would've easily been able to sneak out... He's done it a lot before. But... I understand why he wouldn't do it for me."
A glare moulded into his mask. "Why not?"
She exhaled. A breeze stirred through her hair before passing. "I just kind of realised that I never know someone else's situation. You never know why Ladybug didn't show up. Maybe she just... couldn't. Maybe she had a really good reason for not coming. Like... a problem or something."
Chat chewed on that. All day, the ineffable masses of diverse emotions had spun themselves out in his brain and taken hold of his body – so much so, maybe at one point he stopped being rational. Maybe Ladybug simply couldn't come. Maybe it wasn't because she was scared that he'd meant a date and had no feelings for him. Maybe he did still have a chance with Ladybug.
"Maybe." He faced her, wagging his eyebrows. "Or maybe she was on a date with your boyfriend because he's cheating on you."
Marinette's stunned face carried absolutely nothing for a sliver of a second before erupting in laughter. She gripped the rail for dear life like she had been pleasantly tickled. "Hahahaha!" Oh, wow. Marinette's laugh was even cuter when he caused it. That felt morbidly wrong. "Trust me, Ladybug wouldn't give him a shot in a million years."
Chat frowned, opened his mouth, and then closed it. After an appropriate silence of him swallowing a gallon of pride, he opened it again. "Marinette?" He squeezed her shoulder. "I'm sorry your boyfriend stood you up."
"Why? It's not your fault."
"No. Yeah. I mean–! What I mean is, I'm very sorry for you, because he embarrassed you in front of the rest of your friends by looking like a pretty bad boyfriend."
Marinette's eyes looked like they wanted to say more. She curled up in the quiet again.
A stupid idea hit Adrien.
"Hey." He spun off the railing and stood, extending his clawed hand. "Come with me."
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A/N:
more enemy art has been posted on my instagram. You guys' support there means sm <3<3<3
oh yeah and the literal enemies-fake-dating experience i had? A lot of y'all had questions. I get it, it's tea. I'd be nosy-as too. SO, would you rather i make a story-time post on tumblr explaining (and you can ask more Qs), or just have the option for you guys to ask questions on my insta story?