L. M. A. O
Staring out the window of my room, rolling the black orb the size of a marble between my fingers, I let the wind run through my hair as I watched the dragon bounce between the trees. It was a good point. An annoying but good point. I was weak. I had my grades to worry about. Missing class meant falling behind. Falling behind meant failing. Sighing, my head dropped, my hand clenching around the marble before I pushed myself up.
Tossing the cold thing out of the window I watched as a puddle grew around it, as if it had melted, a tall and featureless creature pulling itself from the puddle that soon formed into its body. It stood slouched, glossy and thin, with long limbs and only three long and thick claw-like fingers on each hand. It didn't have a face, nor ears, just a head with a mouthless jaw. A sleek tail behind it and dragon-like feet holding it up.
Resting my cheek in my palm I stared at the creature that left my skin to crawl and the hair on the back of my neck to stand. Its mere existence enough to pull at my mana. My dragon was not like that. It had its own mana that it had collected from my magic whenever it could. This thing pulled at it without my permission. To be formed is to be using mana.
Its head twitched, almost as if sensing my thoughts, before turning up as if looking at me. It was a creature I knew couldn't see. Couldn't hear. Couldn't feel. But it understood in ways I couldn't describe. As if it was truly just the embodiment of mana, sensing mana in a way that allowed it to move, allowed it to hold something akin to senses.
"You're disgusting" I stated, staring down at it, it responded by tilting its head, shoulders still slouched and claws brushing its knees. "Your existence is not one that should exist," I hummed, leaning into my hand more, my voice not harsh nor soft, simply indifferent as I only spoke the truth. This was not my Animan magic. This was merely mana given a form. An imitation. Something that cracked my core to create. To fathom.
"But, well, we're the same in that sense," I hummed, throwing my legs over my window and staring down at it. Its arms shot up as if I was to jump, brushing my bare feet while I was left to tilt my head. I didn't offer it a command. Not even a suggestion. Staring at the creature who gently took my ankle in its sharp grasp it pulled away upon drawing blood, looking at its claws with a tilted head. "You're free to do what you want, you know? I don't have a reason to control you at the moment," I said curious, it turned its head to look at me once more, before the sharp claws gently rolled back.
Leaving three long, dull, fingers. Gently pushing off the frame, I was quickly caught, cold hands holding me from under the arms as I stared at its featureless face. Tilting my head, it mimicked me before slowly lowering me to the ground. My feet found the dirt as I didn't have to strain my neck to look at the thing that I could only reach the stomach of. No, it crouched, hands on its knees, while we continued to stare at each other.
"They say glass mages came from obsidian, yet not even half have remained as such," It tilted its head again, so I continued, "Those of glass are of combination mages, born of earth and fire, those that can't control the temperature of their magic, leaving them unable to create magma for more than a few seconds. The rapid cooling creating obsidian. No one really knows why it's become glass after such a long time, maybe an unconscious desire to separate from what they could have been? To separate obsidian from magma? I don't really see the point, honestly, in my experience at least, the clearer the glass, the easier it breaks,
"Obsidian has also proven to be sharper, at least for me I suppose, but even saying that, I still conjure the clear or murky glass that has likely been the reason glass mages have been scorned so much. They hide their magic with a weaker version because they dislike comparison. They'd rather be considered weaker than they could be all to avoid being compared to someone with better heat control," I tapped its face, a ripple similar to water shaking the smooth surface.
"I can't say I'm happy to be a glass mage, and I am often left to think about how even unconsciously I'd rather make translucent obsidian when there are plenty of other kinds, just to avoid being compared to one of similar magic. I may hate it less if it wasn't scorned upon, maybe I would find better ways to use it, be taught to use it in a way it stood out, a way that suited it, but unfortunately, that's not the world we live in. You are a magic that is disregarded for the simple fact that there is one similar with a better general use. I am the mage that is weak for the fact that I was so close to being stronger than I am,"
Its hand gently took my cheek in its grasp, holding the scar I had been hiding with my hair. Hair that had a notable streak of white. A few actually. After summoning the thing I had gained two more. They peppered my hair but the most notable was the one in the front. The one that I couldn't hide. The one I wished no one would notice. At least, no one that knew just what it meant.
"I can't tell if I hate you or not," I said honestly, a personality being shown in something that wasn't alive nor knew what it meant to be alive. Just a physical manifestation of mana. "You make my skin crawl but I don't know why, probably the fact that you shouldn't exist, I can hide you because of Vitreus but if I had not of been a special kind of freak you'd be something that'd drag me down. I know Vixen would have seen through you, she'd have known the moment she saw you that you are nothing but my mana," Sighing I ran my hand through my hair again, talking to my magic, I really was a freak.
"I'm not exactly allowed in the forest anymore, but you aren't me, so go ahead, play as Vitreus does, I have no reason to stop you," I waved at the dragon that was only seen when it lept above the tree line. It turned to look at him, before looking back at me, leaning forward. Our foreheads brushed and suddenly my sight had disappeared. Only soft hues and glowing colors around as I stilled.
I had seen it before, having looked through it, but this was different. I wasn't looking through it. It had shared what it saw. What I looked like to it. Swallowing as I stared at the bright harsh blue, concentrated into a small girl with short and full hair, the leaking glow that spread around her, mixing with the red hue that had no center. The white streaks in her hair crackled within the blue mass of frizzy hair as if forced to exist within it.
And just like that, I could see again. Blinking wildly, my hands rubbing my eyes, I stared at the thing that simply tilted its head. Fingers lacing one of the white streaks. It was asking me a question. Opening my mouth I closed it, tears rushing to my eyes at the silent question. My hands rubbed the tears that were quick to race down my face roughly.
"I-I-" Hiccuping I just wiped my face faster, "I don't know! I didn't think about it! It-it just happened!" I sobbed, cold arms wrapping around me, magic swallowing me as I was surrounded by a cold but warm sensation, my feet not touching the ground and my hands not my own. "I- I don't wanna be an executioner! I don't wanna be a merger!" I wailed, my voice distorting into things I couldn't even call words, my vision returning to nothing but soft and bright colors sprinkled in a dark world.
Arms wrapping around shoulders as I couldn't tell which ones were mine and which were its. I couldn't even tell if I was hugging myself or if it was hugging me. Gasping for breath, I scratched at my smooth chest as I found all fours, covering my glossy head, curled hair catching at the bottom of my head, while I curled in on myself, wailing as the mana grew jagged and formed, rippling and cracking around me.
"Oh what the f-" A voice yelped as I looked to where a green light glowed, recoiling at whatever sight it found. Cold black droplets ran down my face instead of tears as I reached for the person with a hand that only held three fingers.
"I- please!" I cried, my voice rough and scratchy. This wasn't me, this wasn't what I wanted.
"There's a person in there?! Now it's eating people?!" The voice shrieked, the green jumping away from me. Clawing at the ground, I forgot how to breathe, my chest heaving, and my throat burning.
"What are you going talking about- oh what in the w-" A white light lept away as my back slithered, limbs growing and clawing at the ground just the same. "Lilith!"
"Li- That's a student?!" White hands grabbed at one of the hands, pulling only to fall back as it separated, cracking and breaking off.
"Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop-" I pleaded, gagging and gasping as it covered my mouth, forcing me to shut up. No. No. No. No. No. No. A shriek left a mouth not my own with a horror I wanted to share. "Get off! Get off! Get off!" I demanded, my voice not my own as I clawed at my head, forcing the obsidian away. "I said get off!" Suddenly, everything stopped, gasping for breath as I fell to the ground, a shadow cast over me, I curled in on myself coughing, my throat burning and lungs lurching.
With a teary glare, I twisted to stare at the thing that dared to tilt its head in confusion. Planting my foot on its chest I forced it away from me, it obliged to moving, as if humoring me. Sitting on its heels as I lept away, stumbling while I did so, I found the hands of Miss H, glaring at the thing that thought that was a way to protect me. My head throbbing as I hissed, not knowing why I knew that was why it had done it.
"What is wrong with you?! I did not say you could do that! That was not what I was saying!" I stepped away from the older woman with a stumble, taking a forceful step forward, slamming my hand in its head, it didn't offer resistance, merely rippling around my hand as I took hold of the orb it even brought to my hand. Ripping it out, the form splashed into a puddle that seeped into the earth below.
"You do not do as you please with me! If I call you come! If I tell you to play that does not give you the right to swallow me!" I shouted at the orb before throwing it at a tree harshly. It bounced off, rolling back, "You are not allowed to treat me like I am below you!" I stomped on it, wiping my cheek of the tears pooling out. Tears I did not welcome. I was mad, I was not sad. "Gods! Why does my own magic think I'm weak?!" I practically screamed pulling at my hair.
With a heaving chest, I glared at my foot, moving it and crouching over the thing that wasn't even distressed at my harsh treatment. It had emotions. It wasn't even living. It was mana. It was my mana. But it had emotions. Emotions I had thought I had shoved down deep. But apparently, all I did was give those emotions a form they could express themselves with.
"You suck," I sniffled, wiping my cheek and picking up the marble. "Don't do that," I said softer holding it to my chest with both hands.
"... Lilith?" Jolting I found Miss H hesitantly approaching with a rogue a safe distance away, uninterested in coming closer. Opening my mouth, having no explanation, I closed it, pulling the marble closer to my chest I twisted it away from her sight, leaving her to pause.
"That's the thing no one believed existed!" Called the man a distance away, hands cupped around his mouth to make sure she heard. "The demon in my imagination!" He pressed, her brow twitching as she looked over her shoulder with a level of irritation I had only seen on her face around Edward. But before she could tell him off I opened my mouth.
"It's not a demon!" I snapped glaring at him, "If you call my magic a demon one more time, even if you are a professor here, I will not forgive you," I would feel my eyes spin as the words held more of a threat than I had meant them to.
"... Lilith," Miss H slowly began her way over again, more cautiously this time, before crouching in front of me, the glance she gave my hands making me twist away from her more. "Its like your dragon, right?" She asked carefully, reaching out to rub my shoulder.
"Yes!" I said quickly, the lie one I was more than willing to give. "My magic, my dragon," I mumbled looking down at my hands. "Its just like my Vitreus," I nodded softly, "L-Latro,"
"Latro?" She asked, softly offering her hand, as if wishing to shake hands. Opening my hands, the marble growing a large and clawed hand, wrapping it around hers. "Nice to m-meet you Latro," She hissed gently, the hand retracting and claw marks clear on her hands. "What, uh, what were you and Latro doing?" She asked, looking at her now bleeding hand while I glared at the hand, grabbing the wrist and forcefully breaking it from the orb.
"Latro, uh, w-wanted to protect me," I mumbled pulling it close again, "It wanted to be armor," I looked away from her at that, the thought one I didn't like. I didn't want to be swallowed in my own magic.
"Armor?" Came a disgusted voice. Glancing at him, a glare on my face, he raised a brow at the hostility. "Interesting concept, especially for a creature like that, but a rogue has no need for such a heavy thing,"
"Vince," Miss H snapped, "She is a lead just like any other,"
"And a rogue, have you lot been treating her as if she was like any other? Truly? No wonder the girl's having a meltdown forcing magic into armor," He shook his head, hugging his arms with a shiver.
"She is a very special girl but she is-"
"Still a lead? Horrible way of putting it, it's as if you aren't even calling her a person, maybe a monster," He shrugged, she actually swung a spear of glass at him. A laugh bubbled in my throat while she paused her attack on the man that had easily stepped away. Tears followed despite having heard it before. Special. It really is like they're treating me like a monster, huh?
"Do you think me a monster too?" I looked up at the man who had frozen, tears running down my face but a smile there just the same.