Flashback:
Things seemed so certain and uncertain at the same time.
Certain my parents were never leaving behind their current ways.
Uncertain for the next tomorrow.
There I sat in the living room at eleven years old, being scolded by my mum and dad before going into my first year at Hogwarts. I was so eager to get away, but of course I would never be free to leave without a lengthy and harsh lecture. Dad told me sternly that whatever happens in the home, stays in the home. Mum then added onto that phrase by saying my words may be the consequence of one's sacrifice.
Whatever that means.
So, I swore to myself that I would never speak of my home life, lest I be punished. School was tough. I was away from the toxicity of my household, but the damage had already been done. I could hardly focus on my school work and throughout my days, the only feeling which came to me was none at all. I was numb all over and words never were that easy for me. I was miserable, and yet I was also angry. I grew a bitter hatred in my heart for the other privileged kids. The kids whose parents weren't Death Eaters. The kids who had caring parents and an abundance in love. And what did I have? I had one goal to make everyone's life just as miserable as mine.
Which only resulted in more problems of my own.
I remember daydreaming in class and wondering why mum and dad were so different. Why their movements seemed so controlled and coordinated, and why their eyes always remained almost lifeless. What did You-Know-Who have to offer to them that was worth giving up their everything. At least, I thought I was their everything.
There was so much I wanted to know and so much I still don't know.
————————————————————————
Summer Break:
"Malfoy."
"Yes?" he replied with a bored expression.
The sun shone from the open window into the gloomy hallway, shining right onto Malfoy's face. His hair was its pearly, white color and the deceiving color of gray appeared in his eyes. In his hands also happened to be a stack of mail.
"Does Harry's letter happen to be in your hand?"
Malfoy stepped away from the blinding ray of sunshine and sorted through the many letters in his hands until he paused to hand me an envelope. My eyes lit up and my spirit was suddenly contained with joy once I saw that the envelope had Harry's name and address written on it.
"So now will you quit chasing me down every morning for the mail?" he questioned me.
"Can't make any promises!" I called back as I dashed up the staircase.
Before you start asking questions, no, me and Malfoy are not mutual. We have simply learned how to exist with each other. That still doesn't mean we are friends again. Nothing about our hatred for one another has changed. There is still unmatched hatred between the both of us. Though it's not very visible, Malfoy's dirty looks and rude remarks never cease to stop catching my attention. I've tried to shake it off, and to be kind even; however, it seems impossible so I must play into his immature behavior. I replied to his looks with even darker gazes and shoot back insults like fire.
As I have said, our battle isn't too visible. We must pretend not to hate each other when we're around Lucius and Narcissa, but a secret and bitter war still rages on between me and him. He makes it known that he hates my presence, which may be the only mutual feeling we have. I've basically grown to expect the worst out of Malfoy at this point. He loves to smile after seeing the fury in my face from the cruel insults he enjoys whispering in my ear. He enjoys pestering me, and I can hardly take it some days.
The bad thing is that whenever Hermione or Ginny would bring up their dislike for Malfoy, I would defend him with everything in me. Now I see I should have listened to their counsel.
I shut my bedroom door and crashed onto my bed as I eagerly ripped open the envelope.
Dear Holly,
I received letter you sent me. I really loved it. I'm very sorry though that you must go to court. That's not fair at all! I know you will win though. It will be impossible for you not to win. Your parents deserve to be in their rightful place in prison.
I've been thinking about you a lot and I can't wait to see you. I hate staying here with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia but I'm glad you are enjoying your time at Malfoy Manor. I hope Malfoy isn't bothering you too much. I can't wait to be with you at Hogwarts. I love you more.
lots of love,
Harry
I admit I must have set my expectations a little too high for I imagined Harry's letter would be a tad bit longer. Of course, I had to remind myself that Harry can't do much under the Dursley roof, so it wasn't that he was lazy. He simply just did not have the proper time. He also mentioned once that his owl is always forced to be in its cage, so two weeks was fairly quick for his letter to arrive.
I read the letter over and over again, soaking in every word Harry had written in his thoughtful letter. I felt a surge of overwhelming happiness every time I read it.
I was lucky to have an amazing boyfriend.
After setting aside the letter, I searched through my desk for my quill and ink, just to write a two-page letter. I did not intend for it to be that long, but I could not help but write about how much I adored him and how badly my heart ached for him to be here. I also wrote much about the potential future we could have together. Yes, call me a crazy, love-sick teenager, but just imagine! Getting married on a beach side, living in a beautiful, fairy cottage, and watching the sunset while drinking coffee together. Together. That's really all I want apart from the things I just listed. I want Harry and I to stay together. Because when we're together, nothing else matters. Harry is my world, my everything, the person whose "together" I want to exist in.
Suddenly, I hear a knock at my door.