(Chapter 57 btw, thank you SO MUCH to the people who stayed, waiting for an update from me when I wasn't active on here! It means a lot to me that you waited😁😁the second book probably won't be out for a while so I'm just trying to gather enough motivation to FINALLY finish this book, I hope you've liked it so far. I know it's entirely cringy and infuriatingly embarrassing at the same time it makes you want to chuck your phone across the room but this was all for my fun. Just to write something that doesn't need to be proper and can be stupid to the point where it makes the readers feel that stupid weird fluffy feeling or the anger of how stupid the mc is. So at the same time it's super cringy, I hope you can look past that and just see the fun :) Happy reading!)
"Holy shit."
Y/n paused. A laugh escaped her.
"I am gonna sleep so good tonight like you guys don't even know. Gosh I got this really thick quilt at home--it's calling me," Y/n groaned longingly, laying flat on her back after realizing she wasn't dead.
Maybe it came as a shock. She hadn't expected to survive. Before, was she so ready to die that now, in her living state, she was disappointed? Or was this all just shock? Confusing and in it's most raw form.
Had she ever wanted to die in the first place? It seemed, you throw yourself in the raging rivers of death and you're body will only ever try to survive. Perhaps it was a miscommunication between the mind and body.
"Kid, I swear to God--" Tony couldn't even finish his sentence for obvious reasons.
"Check her pulse," Bruce told Tony who was closest to her, hurrying over to Y/n.
Tony did so obediently while Bruce managed to use a phone flashlight from Kate to check her pupils to see if they were dilating. He only got the flashlight after he screamed in a lowercase panic for one. ("Flahlight--where's a flashligh?! Does anyone have a flashlight?! I NEED a flashlight, stat--Tony!")
"Jeez," Kate slipped out, "chill dude--she's alive."
"For now," Steve said almost righteously, stepping forward in the dark street of..
Where the hell were they?
"Dude that's vaguely threatening," Harley retorted.
"Where does it hurt, hun?" Natasha asked, keeping her concern at bay while crouching in front of the injured girl.
"I'm fine--"
"Not the question I asked," Nat persisted.
"Nowhere--"
"Tell the truth, kid," Barton added in sternly, almost out of breath with his bow in hand loosely.
Y/n tried to get up off the ground but Thor placed his hammer on her chest. Nat snatched it up half angry.
"You imbecile do you want to crush her bones? Again?" Loki spat at his brother.
"Enough," Tony silenced, stopping the to brothers from having a row.
"Not to be a bummer but," Yelena started, "how did she even survive that?" Peter dropped his jaw at the question.
Wanda was crouched next to Y/n, her fingers tracing red mist over her forehead. "She's got powers, remember?"
Shuri was tapping away on a screen which she had created from her suit. "I'm back online and as for an explanation, her powers are more confirmed now than ever. After Y/n was stabbed and Wanda's blood was transfused, she gained, apparently, the power to manipulate energy. Henceforth, why she survived the snap. There's more gamma radiation in the stones than in the serum Dr. Banner took. It appears that she just...absorbed it," she explained, running devices over the girl to scan her.
"Like a fucking sponge. Now that's punk rock," Y/n replied with a exhausted laugh. Her heart was throbbing with two things: energy overload and sadness. Now she was the hero that failed to die trying. Would she have to live through something like that again?
It wasn't the idea that she would have to live through it again that shook her, it was the fact that she was still alive. All her mistakes mauling her, we're still here to torture you and you won't get away this time.
"Not funny, kid," Tony frowned. He took in a shaky breath.
Y/n frowned too, the sudden urge to break down pawing like a dog at the front door. She didn't.
"God I'm so glad you're alive," he let out, hugging her tightly.
I'm not.
His happiness just made her sad this time. She'd fooled him. Fooled them all.
They thought they liked her. That she was funny. That she was smart. That she was good.
She wasn't any of those things.
She fooled them.
That's how much of a shit person she was.
But Y/n said nothing, letting the dam build up as the rest of the group laughed with joy that she was alive and hugged her and made her feel a love that she didn't deserve.
The night air was almost a comfort, making everything fuzzy and pixilated. Making things not real. Making things dark. Dark like death.
Y/n forced a laugh, continuing the facade she'd created to fool them. "We're back."
Back in the right universe. But this one was hardly different from the others. Those other ones had been painful because the lies Y/n made her gone and this one was painful because she was aware of them.
"I'm not letting you out of my sight ever again," Tony told her, looking at her face.
"Neither am I," Clint said.
Y/n was back. Back with the family she'd wormed her way into like a rot. She couldn't help but feel undeserving. They didn't get it. She wasn't good. Wasn't a hero. She was selfish.
"Let's get you home," Natasha said smiling, wrapping an arm around the girl and helping her up.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Peter asked, holding out his hands as if she were taking her first steps and she might collapse.
"We'll give her the look over at the tower," Tony said.
Her body did ache and she felt out of her mind but still, she could handle this. One thing she knew was that she needed to get away.
"I feel fine, actually. Really great," Y/n replied. "I think I shoul go home. To Joss...she's probably worried." She knew it sounded fake but she needed to get away from the people she'd manipulated. It was wrong to be there when they were so oblivious. They'd hate her soon enough. And the truth was...Joss was her home. Two evils together.
"Not happening," Tony deadpanned, his face stern.
"You're not going home to her," Peter added, his face contorted as if she were crazy.
"But she should at least know I'm alive," Y/n argued, shame plaguing her. She couldn't look them in the eyes.
There was a long silence as the group contemplated her request. Steve and Toyn shared looks and Natasha and Clint looked completley doubtful having picked up on Peter's concern. Wanda had pursed lips and Bruce's eyebrows were knitted together.
"She is her family," Shuri started slowly, holding down her device. "And she does appear to be fine except for a few bumps and bruises and a twisted wrist. And a minor concussion."
"That's not fine," Steve interjected.
"I'll sleep it off," Y/n offered. "My bed is seriously calling me. I havent had a good night's rest in ten years."
Tony sighed, staring her in the eyes. "Fine. But except visitors early in the morning."
Y/n could've broke down right there. "Shawarma for breakfast?"
"Call if you need anything," Tony replied. "I mean it," he continued, giving one last tight hug.
Y/n knew it would most likely be her last.
"I will," she lied.
She thought it was a lie.
"Don't break your ribs," Harley quipped as she got into a stance to shoot up into the sky.
She rolled her eyes at him. "I'll try, dumbass."
Y/n said one last goodbye and shot into the sky, her brain collecting a dull headache as she went, directing herself to her street.
Y/n landed outside the front of her house, everything looking mildly the same as when she last saw it. There was still blood splattered on the sidewalk but other than that, the red door and grey siding was familiar and looming.
Y/n tapped her arc and the particles dissipated from her body, leaving the other Peter's Spider suit which was now back to red and blue.
It was fairly dark out and the phone in her pocket told her it was around eleven at night. The sky was black with the absence of the moon but the stars shone bright and exhausted.
Y/n turned the nob on the door, immediatly feeling a shadow come over her. Joss, a person she hated or the Avengers, people she manipulated but loved?
It was best not to lie any more.
Y/n trudged through the door, her weak limbs carrying her with the last of their strength.
"I'm home," Y/n almost whispered. She was scared. Too scared to say what she was scared of.
Scared and hurt and tired.
Exhausted.
Going to start her life back before the internship. Before she was loosing her job. Before she met the Avengers.
Y/n continued past the stairs, almost heading into the kitchen when her eyes spotted the figure slumped over on the couch.
Y/n's heart plummeted as she slowly walked into the living room, her mind recognizing the limp woman as only one person.
Joss.
Y/n reeled in shock, collapsing in front of the couch where Joss was draped. Blood had seeped down the front of her clothing and into the couch, dripping onto the rug, turning it crimson.
"No, no," she whispered, her voice breaking and halting as the tears started to pool in her eyes.
Y/n didn't know why she was crying.
Her hands tied to help, holding Joss' head up, holding her hand and trying to squeeze back the life. Y/n's screams of help and Joss' name were full of regret, anguish and pure unfiltered agony and it was too hard to write her words down.
In her bleary eyed, hazy headed state, Y/n found a folded piece of paper addressed to her on the end table. Y/n hated that this memory would plague her forever.
The simple handwriting string her name as if Joss were disappointed writing it.
Y/n.
The period at the end certified it.
Y/n unfolded it hastily, flipping on the lamp as she tried to focus her eyes long enough to read it. Under her knees shifted the gun which had fallen from Joss' clod and limp hands.
But she couldn't focus right then. The thought of Joss clouded her eyes. Cold and clammy and bloody. Blood coming out of the eyes and a result of being shot in the head.
Down on the paper Y/n read the cool words, a regret as deep as the marianna trench forming.
I'm killing myself.
That made Y/n weep, her tears falling on the page.
I dont care that you might think this is insensitive. It is your fault. I will die because of you. Your hand killed me. Despite the fact that physically I pulled the trigger, you did it. You, Y/n. I hate you. So much. I shouldn't have wasted my time with you. Your selfish, manipulative and greedy.
I hate you.
I don't forgive you.
I tried to teach you what you were, give you hints to what you were doing hut your were poisonous and wouldn't listen.
Now I'm killing myself.
I won't say goodbye because those belong to loved ones.
Remember what I've said. You are worthless, Y/n. Maybe you can still save those you've corrupted.
Save everyone else the burden and take notes from me and what I've done. What I'm doing.
I don't have any regrets with what I've done with you.
Y/n knew where the gun was. Maybe finally she would listen to Joss.
The last line was the closet thing to an I love you Y/n would get from the dead woman. That hurt a little.
A lot.
Tears were pouring from the girl's eyes and she couldn't see---didn't want to see. Not The note. Not Joss's body. Not the blood that was soaking in Y/n's own pants. Not the Avengers.
She wanted it to end.
Really end.
The cold throb of her heart, the aching in her being for this conflicted agony to end pounded inside her. Just do it.
Maybe her own mind side saved her that night. The stupidly hilarious side of her.
Nike, just do it.
It reminded her of that small glimmer of happiness, outside of the gloom which was only temporarily looming.
There was always something to keep living for.
But Y/n didnt notice that then. All she noticed was the gun on the floor. It was Y/n's gun. From her bedroom.
I killed her.
Joss was right.
She was always right. Always. Y/n couldn't see that as clearly before as she had now.
It wasn't humor that saved her when she pit the gun to her head. No. It was the good times.
And her subconscious smarts.
She didn't realize who she was texting before the words were all pouring out of her, her fingers mixing with the tears on the screen.
Was it a goodbye? Goodbyes are for loved ones. Maybe it was just an explanation. An excuse?
Y/n didn't know what she texted that night but she had a feeling she knew who it was. Genius. Had she manipulated him too?
That didnt matter. She knew a gun was pointed at her head. By her own hand.
She thought that for sure, six stones of infinite power would be able to kill her and make her stay that way but it would appear, that sometimes the old fashioned way was just more efficient.
She manipulated the Avengers.
She disrespected her aunt.
She ruined friendships and then manipulated them to get them back.
She ruined people's lives.
She was selfish.
She was useless.
She was worthless.
Worthless.
It was her fault Joss was dead. Now she had to kill herself to make up for it because blood had to be spilt for the sins she had made.
The barrel was at her head. Her fingers were on the trigger. Y/n knew how to use it.
Just one last thought raced in her head:
What would they think?
She didnt want to know if they'd mourn or not. She hoped they wouldn't.
Y/n didn't deserve their mourning.
She was sobbing, tears drenching her face and front, the remnants of dried blood in the mix. Her head ached, the sounds of her crying ringing and wailing, echoing in the room. Why am I crying?
I wanted this.
One last breath.
The door flew open, smashing into the wall behind it. Y/n barely registered it but it made her put the gun down. He snatched it away from her, pulling her into his chest as she sobbed.
"I killed her, Tony. It's my fault she's dead I--I murdered her she--"
Tony shushed her, holding her tight, not letting leave. He didn't know what to say to her but he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Still couldn't believe what she had texted.
"It's not your fault, Y/n."
Y/n sobbed for a long time, clinging to Tony and for some reason, she said everything. Told him every single thing that she needed to. She let the dam break.
She told him about what Joss did and how she ruined everything but Y/n still couldn't believe what she said. How being stuck in the multiverse broke her. How pathetic she was. How angry she was at the Faceless and at Elenor. How everything seemed to go wrong. How she manipulated them. How she wasn't worthy. How she couldn't listen to instructions. How she always hid.
How she wasn't good enough at all. Not for her friends. Not for Joss. Not for the Avengers.
Not for her groupchat.
That was when, in her current blubbery state, she realized who was in the room with her.
"Wait," she started, pulling away from Tony. "Are you.....you're Genius?"
Tony pursed his lips awkwardly. "About that..."
On top of everything else. Y/n felt like an idiot.
The tears overtook her one more time but Tony was glad for one thing. He was with her now, and he wouldn't let her go.
"You're safe, kid. Everything's going to be okay. You didn't so this."
Maybe that's what she needed to hear most.
Something real.
~ ~ ~
Y/n woke up in the Avengers Tower surrounded by the Avengers. There was a day when she would have been shocked by this but those days were dead.
She was laying on one of the immaculate couches in the living room. She wasn't in her own room and she guessed it was because they didn't trust her alone right then.
Y/n didnt trust herself either.
"You okay," Natasha asked when she noticed she was awake. All the eyes of the people in the room darted to Y/n on the couch under a pile of blankets.
"Yeah," Y/n muttered. She didn't feel okay in the slightest. Joss was dead. It felt like a distant memory, seeing her aunt slumped over in her own blood, her wild hair tangled over her eyes.
Y/n didn't really want to talk about how she felt. Not right then. It was too much. Everyone could see that.
They gave her some space.
"You guys are in my groupchat," Y/n brought up dully. Y/n wondered how she could've been so stupid.
"Yeah..."
Y/n nodded, not looking at them, staring straight ahead at the elevator. Fanny nuzzled her hand which was hanging off the couch. Her puppies barked squealily under her. "I shoulda guessed that."
Clint snorted when Y/n laughed.
"So I'm gonna stay here for a while?" Y/n asked, still maintaining a blank voice.
"As long as you want," Tony replied. "We want you around kid."
Y/n didn't know what to make of his words. If they were a lie, or confusion on his part. Did he mean it?
"Trust us, kid."
They hadn't ever given her a reason not to.
~ ~ ~
Things were better now. Y/n still didn't know what to believe but it seemed better not to think about everything so hard. Maybe she should just try to go with the flow for once.
She was sitting in the sofa in the Avengers tower and a week had gone by since her aunt killed herself. It was night out and Y/n was eating cereal while watching the news on a window. The rest of the Avengers crowded around her in their own seats.
"Damm it, Barton," Natasha grumbled.
Clint laughed, "you owe me twenty bucks!"
"Last I heard you owed her," Yelena brought up.
"Bullshit."
"Hey, hey, hey," Tony started, walking in from the kitchen with a mug, "Merida, take it easy, we cant have you teaching the youngerlings that kinda language." He was referring to Y/n, Harley, Shuri, Peter, Kate and MJ who were in the room.
"Oh now you care," Y/n rolled her eyes with a laugh.
"Just call me Cap," the billionaire replied.
"Hey isn't that our teacher?" Peter asked, pointing at the television. There was a picture of their woodshop teach next to the news anchor. She was explaining that the teacher was gired from Midtown after he was found out of tax fraud.
Natasha smirked.
"Did you have anything to do with this?" Y/n asked.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
The screen switched and a video of President Sharon Carter played.
"Yes, it's true that Justin Hammer Junior was found guilty of harbouring and conspiring against the good of Earth with war criminals from the beyond of space and time and he has been apprehended. He's facing a life sentence in jail with no chance of being let out after word and research of his many crimes against women and young girls. That's the next thing I'm changing. The system will be fixed, justice will be served," the president said.
"I get why Cap kissed her," Sam brought up.
"Isn't she your neice or something?" Bucky asked Steve.
The captain spat out his drink.
Tony groaned. "Your paying for the carpet, Capsicle."
The next video was of President Carter in her shield attire arresting Hammer and Y/n laughed whils pointing at the tv.
"Hah---fuck you, buddy."
"I guess we didn't need to plan his murder," Natasha said to Tony.
"Don't hold your breath," Clint grumbled.
"So next on the agenda we can find mom," Kate said after silence had passed.
Y/n cringed. They all had a talk about the things no one ever said after that. They explained everything.
~ ~ ~
A couple days later, Y/n was moving her clothing into her room at the tower. Well, mostly looking at the clothing she'd worn before. Caring about outfits seemed so silly now. She held the red sunglasses in her hands, remembering when she cared to wear them.
When the world wasn't about to end. But it wasn't now.
Maybe things could start to get back to normal. A good normal now that she was living with the Avengers.
Kate was too, she had just moved in. She was heartbroken when she found out her mom was dead and one of the villains but she accepted it. That was really all she could do.
A knock at her door pulled her away from the glasses in her hand. Tony was standing in the doorway.
"Hey, kid--you got a minute?"
Y/n snorted, "I'm actually really busy staring at these glasses."
Tony rolled his eyes and entered the room. He was wearing a t shirt and jeans and it brought her back to the real feeling of summer for some reason.
The arc reactor in her chest ticked in the silence.
"What's up?" Y/n prompted, putting the sunglasses on a rack on her wall.
"I just wanted to talk to you about...something."
Y/n cringed, holding back from wondering her head into a fury. "Interesting."
"Yeah uh...so I was thinking...now that your gonna be living here...for a while, I thought well...we might as well make it official," Tony replied.
Y/n turned to him, seeing a stack of papers in her hands and her heart stopped. Maybe it was the arc reactor.
"You want to--"
"I wanna adopt you, kid. You mean a lot to us. To me. To everyone around here. You are so important to us. We can't have you leaving. In any way," Tony told her sincerely. He blinked. "But only if you want i just thought that---"
Y/n hugged him tight, the papers being lost on the bed. "Thank you," she whispered, tears forming once more.
"Well I mean you are the best kid we've ever had around."
"I'm the only kid."
"That's besides the point."
Y/n pulled away from him, tears streaming down her face. She didn't care to hide them. Someone wanted her. Not like how Joss had begrudgingly taken her. Someone was going out of their way to adopt her.
It made her heart just the littles bit more whole.
"So...shawarma after this?" Tony asked, holding the pen and paper up to her questionably.
Y/n wouldn't be whole. Not for a long time. But the Avengers were one step closer.
~ ~ ~
Y/n: so uhhhh, there was a bit if a problem on the way to the campus....
Genius:
What problem
Y/n:
Genius:
I swear to god
Lil Spy: seriously? Again?
Exhausted Pigeon:
😂only you could do this twice
Lord of Thunder:
IT WASN'T ME THIS TIME
Y/n:
I'm sorry but I mean,,, now university is postponed?
Genius:
You know what? Just put it on my tab, kid
Y/n: let's get some icecream
Buck Like the Deer:
Maple Walnut😍😍
Feathers:
First, I cant believe you used that emoji unironically and second, you disgust me
Y/n: Here we go🙄
Wiz: I'll be on standby ;)
Green Bean:
I'll get the shirt
A Vision💅:
I'm working on constructing it with stronger synthetic fibers this time
Y/n: So is someone gonna pick me up or..... should I fly
Genius:
No. Do not fly out of there. I'll pick
you up
Y/n: Aww shucks, you do love me
Genius:
I didn't know it was under questioning
Author's Note
Damn, last chapter. And it was only a year, ikr, record time for me. I honestly don't know how to feel but I love your guys comments and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR VOTING. I just feel like a part of me died and simultaneously it's being born!? Gahh
Anyway, I hope you liked this book as much as I liked to write it. At times it was slow, but I appreciate you for staying. Thank you all.
That's it. The last chap.
This might not be deep for you but it is for me so....crying now.
Started: March 10th, 2022
Ended: February 21st, 2023
The last God bless for you all,
Love you<3