Perfectly broken

CDMorgan tarafından

46.9K 1.8K 801

Felix wants to be the perfect idol, but not everyone seems to agree on what "perfect" is. or Felix developes... Daha Fazla

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 19

Part 18

1.7K 85 34
CDMorgan tarafından

Get ready to some soft times. We need Hyunlix back obviously.

-------------

Chan POV

Chan had no doubts about having the conversation, but he didn't feel confident though. He knew that Felix wouldn't be taking it well. Either he would cry and run away or he would fight, but whatever it was- Chan had to be ready for it. He had asked Minho and Jisung to be in the next room, just to be sure. It felt crazy- having to ask for assistance when all he had to do was talk to Felix, but he deemed it necessary never the less.

Chan looked up when the door opened. Felix poked his head in, smiling as he laid eyes on the other.

"Hyung! What are you doing in here?"

Chan cleared his throat before padding the bed he was seated on. It was Felix's own and even if Chan hadn't already known, the faint smell of sweet shampoo on the pillow would have given him away.

"We have the first concert of the tour in a few days."

Felix furrowed his brows as he neared him, sitting down carefully by his side. "I know that."

"Yeah, of course you do..." Chan chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. "You know that I am the leader, and I have to make some difficult decision at times."

He knew he was stalling, but he truly wasn't enjoying this situation at all. Felix didn't seem to have caught up on anything yet though. He had folded his legs under him and looked up at his hyung with patience.

Chan tried to calm down, placing a grounding hand on Felix's leg. "For the sake of STAY, the rest of the members, but you the most- I will not allow you on stage in the condition you are at the moment."

Felix's face froze. Chan nervously tapped his leg, before quickly continuing. "You are not healthy. You keep fainting, you're too dizzy to walk in a straight line and you're always cold and shaking. Felix, this shouldn't be up to debate at all."

"How dare you!"

Felix's scream definitely startled Chan, but he did his best to not show it. He tried to stay as calm as possible as he placed his other hand on the younger as well to make sure he didn't make a run for it. But Felix seemed too shocked to do anything but stare at him for now.

"I'll give you two options" he began, meeting the other's eyes. "Either you will continue making yourself worse and we will all let you. We won't force you to anything, but you can't go on stage with us."

Chan's heart hurt when he saw the tears beginning to form in the youngers eyes, but he didn't halter his speech. "-Or, you will let us help you, and join us on stage, being your best and healthy self."

He had expected tears, yelling and fighting, therefor it was almost so much scarier when Felix just looked at him, seemingly too exhausted to muster up any of those things.

"I'm doing it for STAY" he whispered, but it didn't really sound like he believed it himself.

Chan shook his head. "No, you're doing it for the sake of JYP and I will take care of him."

Felix looked into his eyes as if he was looking for some kind of answer in there and Chan wanted nothing more than to give it to him.

"I don't understand what is expected from me" he whispered hoarsely.

Chan shook his head. "Me neither, but it's over, okay? I should have done something sooner. I should have listened to Hyunjin a long time ago."

He should have known that that one name could have been the breaking point. He quickly caught the other in his arms when Felix jumped closer, clinging to him as his life depended on it.

"I don't like myself anymore" he cried, hiding his face by the other's shoulder. "I'm so bad that I hurt him on purpose. He hates me now."
Chan solemnly shook his head while stroking his back as a small offer of comfort. "He doesn't" he promised him, feeling his heart break a bit more every time the sobs shook the other's body. "But he got really betrayed. You know how much trust means to him."

"I want to earn it back" Felix mumbled, his voice muffled from Chan's shirt.

Chan made a grimace at the thought of Felix trying, once again, to become better for someone else. He knew that he missed Hyunjin and vice versa, but they couldn't afford more drama now- not as a band or just people.

"Let's focus on you firstly."

He looked down when Felix pulled away abruptly, shaking his head so violently that tears flew from his cheeks. "We have done that more than enough."

Chan smiled sadly and lifted a hand to keep the other still. "And we're happy to do so Lixie."
He felt more than relieved when Felix let him hug him once again, crying his heart out. He knew that everyone on the dorm would be able to hear, but it wasn't like they hadn't heard him cry before.

Chan pulled him closer, closing his eyes to stop his own tears. He was the leader and it was time for him to step up.

Felix POV

Only two days left. Only two days until all members of Stray Kids, hopefully, would be getting on stage again. Felix was nervous, but he wanted it. He wanted it so bad that he didn't even have words to describe it, and that was why he was seated where he was, in front of a plate filled with rice, beef and vegetables.

Minho was sitting at his side, looking at him with amount of patience that he had built up to a level that Felix hadn't thought possible. He had been sitting on that chair as a patient cat for over an hour and he still hadn't raised his voice once, even though the younger only had eaten less than half.

"My hands are sweating" Felix mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed by how his heart was speeding up by the thought of food.

Minho, on the other hand, didn't raise an eyebrow. "As long as they aren't too slippery to hold chopsticks it'll be fine."
Felix swallowed, looking down at the cold meal. "I can feel it in my stomach."

"That's because you're eating it."
Felix shot the other a glare. "That doesn't help."
Minho met his eyes with as much calm as ever. "Please eat so you'll get less snappy."
Felix's sighed and grabbed the chopsticks once more. "I'm sorry Hyung."
"Accepted."
Felix had just placed a piece of beef in his mouth as the loud sounds of people entering the dorm reached them. They both looked up in time to see Jisung running into kitchen followed by Jeongin who looked like a dog owner tired of running after his pet. Seungmin, who came last, just strolled like nothing was going on.

"Don't you dare!" Jeongin exclaimed as Jisung jumped out of his reach and hid behind Minho as if that would protect him.

"I have to!"

"You have to what?" Minho asked, leaning his head back to look up at the other.

Jisung placed his hands on the other's shoulders and looked around at them all with wide eyes and his hair ruffled on his head.

"We were in the studio and we overheard something" he explained rapidly before taking a step back and instead hiding behind Felix when Jeongin jumped for him again.

"He'll probably don't want you to tell him. We weren't supposed to hear!" the youngest exclaimed, pointing at Jisung with a glare.

Minho shrugged, leaning back in his chair. "He's not here, so what's the problem?"

"Who are we talking about?" Felix asked, having forgotten all about his food until Seungmin, who had sat down on his other side, tapped his plate with a finger as a silent reminder.

"Channie" Jisung explained. "He had a seriously hot conversation with JYP."

Jeongin crossed his arms, looking very unpleased, but he had stopped trying to chase the other around the table.

Jisung seemed to take that as a permission to go on, cause he leaned back on Minho's shoulders to look at Felix.

"I promise I was minding my own business-" he began, but Seungmin spoke over him.

"Minding your own business with your ear pressed against the door."
Jisung shook him off with a wave of his hand. "Chan asked JYP to back off from how his members looked like. As long as we didn't do drugs and got tattoos in the middle of our faces, the management had no rights to do such things."
Felix immediately felt a pang of guilt in his stomach which didn't mix well with the food. If Chan was in trouble because of him he would never forgive himself.

"And you know that old fella" Jisung continued, again getting interrupted by Seungmin.

"Not Chan, but JYP."

"Yeah, the real oldie" Jisung agreed, "-he was like "all I do is for you guys. Without me you wouldn't have debuted at all, blah blah, you know the drill, but Channie wasn't having it."
"Did he hit him?" Minho asked, making Jisung burst out a shocked sound making his eyes widen even more. "Hyung! Obviously not. He just listened. I thought that he had given up, but then when JYP finally shut up- he spoke."
Felix gulped. His body felt cold from anticipation. "What he say?"

"You know that deep, serious tone that make you weak in the knees?" Jisung asked.

Everyone but Minho nodded.

"He used that and then he said "if you won't leave Stray Kids alone, you will no longer have a band. I will go, Felix will die and the rest will surely no longer be a part of it." And then JYP, sounding all shook, said- "Are you threatening me?" to which Chan answered, "It's not a threat. Let's call it a prediction."

Seungmin pulled out his phone, not bothering to look at the other's. "So dramatic."
Jisung squeezed Minho's shoulder with big enthusiasm, ignoring the other. "Wasn't it hot though?"

Minho shrugged. "Only if it worked. So what now?"

Jisung's smile faltered slightly. "I don't know. Jeongin saw me ears dropping and pulled me away."

Jeongin crossed his arms, not looking the slightest bit bothered by what he did. "Well, we would know what would happen now if we had let Chan tell us instead of this gossiping."

Both Minho and Jisung waved him off. "Gossip is important" the young rapper insisted.

"In that case-" Seungmin commented, still not looking up from his phone, "you might as well tell Felix about Hyunjin as well."

"No!" Jeongin exclaimed, looking so bewildered that he even forgot to look irritated.

Felix dropped the chopsticks and looked around at them, but suddenly none of them met his eyes.

"What about Hyunjin?" he pressed, feeling the cold feeling spread through his body.

"Nothing surprising" Jeongin mumbled, casting a nervous glance at the door to check that it was empty.

"He's just not doing so well after... you know" Jisung agreed and pointed half-hearted at Felix. "-He's moody, more than usual, and Minho heard him crying in the middle of the night."

Felix looked at Lee Know who just looked back, but he didn't deny it.

"You have all told me to leave him alone."

Minho nodded solemnly. "For now."

"I..." Felix stopped himself, biting down on his lip instead. "Okay, just take care of him then."

"Obviously" Jisung agreed.

Felix felt nausea rise in his throat like a tide, but he couldn't let it control him... not after what everyone was going through because of him. 

----------

If you like Minsung, perhaps consider go read my other fic called "Watch... and you shall not understand". It's very cute and a lot shorter than this. If you're not into fluff and fools in love and rater would like tears and pain, just continue with this instead.

Whatever you choose, then thanks for reading and have a wonderful day/night!

Okumaya devam et

Bunları da Beğeneceksin

24.6K 1.1K 30
In which Changbin is a shy innocent boy. Felix in the other hand is a bad boy, and tries to flirt with Changbin. ~fluff ~smut
260K 11.9K 34
"im lonely, gay, and looking for a boyfriend. slide into my dms" Lee Minho + Han Jisung
53.3K 2.2K 16
after a failed suicide attempt, felix decides to start over his life by moving away and transferring schools. little did he know the school's bully b...
86.1K 3.5K 13
"changbin, i have a bad feeling i'm more high than you." where felix agrees to smoke with changbin