"I can take the couch" He said as he realized that she had stiffened herself and was still standing near the door,it seemed as if she was evaluating something in her mind. He was not sure whether she was even listening to him. He stood near the bed and tried to decipher her expression but her face looked devoid of any emotions.
"Shehnaaz,I guess you are not okay with me being here,which is absolutely fine" he again said and also cursed himself for banging her door at the middle of the night, the room was screaming awkwardness.
"I will leave if you are not comfortable" he said but she didn't reply, to this,he too went still, wondering exactly what she had in her mind. They were no longer couples,he had no rights to even make any demands of requests.After few seconds, he started walking towards the door.
'Stay' she panted as he started moving towards the door.Tears leaked from her eyes. Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it mught turn fatal."Stay till the end." She wanted to say but just couldn't.
"You can sleep on that side of the bed,The lightswitch is on your side,please switch it off" she climbed up to her side of the bed and slept ,facing the other side so she won't have to face him,but could not sleep like that for long as the itch to see his face was making her fidgety.
Soon she turned toward him and
found hin glaring at her with so much emotion that he nearly cracked her in half. She could hear the change in his breathing when he was looking at her.
"Bed lamp rehne doon" he asked as he didn't want to miss this opertunity see her angelic face. He was seeing her like this after months.
"Ok" she just breathed.He couldn't imagine a sweeter agony, having her so close yet she was so far.
Both were trying to sleep when she realized that he was still wearing a formal shirt and trousers. For the next one hour they just tried to sleep, but no one could succeed.Their eyes were open, but lips were sealed. Shehnaaz was trying hard to stay still but he was continually tossing and turning.
She thought that maybe his clothes are not comfortable enough for him. She got up and opened her suitcase.
"You can wear this, galti se pack ho gaya tha" she said, with great difficulties,initially she was resisting to give him his T-shirt, she knew what inference he would draw out of it but she couldn't see him getting restless.His eyes became wideopen, watching her flushed face and ragged breathing.She felt a mixed emotion, she was shy with a tint of embarrassment. He extended his hand towards her and she handed him over the the t-shirt.
"Aap change karo,I need to go to the loo" she went to the restroom to save both of them from further embarrassment. He felt like yanking her towards him,he needed to tell her that she was so beautiful and loving and better than anything he deserved. That he was too twisted and incompetent for her but he wants give them selves another chance, he wanted to pull himself together for her. Before he could fathom what was happening, she was out of his sight, he too quickly changed into that t-shirt. As he wore it he felt tranquil,the T shirt was smelling like her. The same fragrance which he sometimes missed so much that he could clearly smell her in the air.
"You can switch off the light " she said coming out of the washroom after a good 5 minuits.
"Thank you " he said looking at the sealing.
"For ?" She asked and all she wanted to say was"Look at me, Talk to me every once in a while. Find me a cure for my tears.
"For letting me sleep here" he replied and she didn't respond this time. She closed her eyes and kept still for next few minutes and after around 15 minutes, she lost her consciousness to sleep and after dozing for good 2 hours she again got up and as she snapped opened her eyes ,she caught him still looking at her. As soon as she saw him glaring at her he turned his gaze elsewhere.
"Kuch chaiye" she asked, "you" every molecule of his being was screaming but he just shook his head. Again after few minuits he heard her breathing becoming even. She was again asleep but he was wide awake, whatever little sleep that he used to get, now that was also missing as she was in front of him yet felt so far. Her sleep once again got disturbed only to find him wide awake ,she remembered how he used to say " Sulade" she wanted him to say it once and she would have stamped him into her skin and saved him from his sleeplessness.
"Night lamp off kardo neend aa jaegi" she said as she saw the time, it was almost 3 in the morning.
"No, it's good" he said looking at her with utmost yearning.It was much more intimate and cozy than getting touched,to be looked at like that.
"Okay" she said and kept hovering in the place between sleeping and being awake,and when ever she opened her eyes,she found him staring at her.
"kya chaiye" she again asked at nearly 5 in the morning she again woke up but sleepiness weighted her body and consciousness, even at that hour of the morning he was awake , not a iota of drowsiness as thete in his eyes.
"Nothing,you sleep I will go to my room" he said and was about to get up when she finally crossed that invisible line which they have drawn on the bed. She knew she was going to a place where she had never thought she would go again.
"Come" she said placing her hand over a pillow and gestured him to place his head on her pillow.
His dark eyes flashed at her from under dark eyelashes, a reluctant look spreaded over his face.She met his gaze stonily.There are just breaths between them.
"Sleep" she said as he placed his hard over the pillow just besides her neck.
"You are disturbing my sleep as well,please sleep so that I can also sleep" she tried to sound pissed but only she knew how his worm breath felt again her skin. He had this urge to snake his hand around her waist but he caged his urges, the very next moment she started ruffling his hair and he felt that he could trade his life for this moment, she felt so warm and comfortable ,the way she was taming his giant jittery frame,made him feel so little in front of her ,she truly had a heart of gold. He felt a familiar desire to hold her closer to him,It was the same urge,he realized, that made him kiss her when they were together.Eventually she fell asleep but the sound of her breathing felt like home to him. Like everything belonged exactly where it was. Soon he too slipped into the most needed sleep.
It was 8 in the morning when her sleep got disturbed with the vibration of her phone,and the moment she opened her eyes ,she felt as if everything around and within her was burning.her cheeks and limbs and even the pits of her stomach was on fire,she was drowning in waves of emotion .All she could feel was the strenght of his body against her and his face was shoven into the softness of her chest and his cheek was pressed against her bososn and he felt like dreams and golden sunrays,after a storm.She never ever wanted to forget this moment,she desired to tattoo him into deep into her skin,on her soul and save him forever and kept wondering how we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us alive.
He was sleeping like a log,his head was on her arms,pressed into her chest yet his hand was not touching her. He has restrained himself even in his sleep.She tried to free herself as her arm and chest had became stiff, he was too huge for her. She slowly tried to move his head and place it on the pillow when his sleep to got disturbed but he did not feel like getting up at all, after so many months he wss sleeping peacefully.As soon as she saw that his sleep was getting disturbed, she started patting his head and after a while he fell asleep again.Then she saw her phone, there was a missed call from Taniya's number, she tip toed to the washroom and called her.
"Shehnaaz, do you have any idea where is Bhai" Taniya was on the verge of crying.
"Taniya, ro kyun rahi hai" Shehnaaz asked.
"I am just scared, he is not picking up the call neither opening the door even after banging "Taniya howled.
"So rahe honge,shaayad" she said.
"Unko raat ko neend nahin aati hai,raat raat bhar jaage rehte hain, subhe 8 baje tak kya soyenge" Taniya said in between her sobs.
"Woh... please stop crying, he is here,sleeping"she said with great hesitation.
"Oh... thik hai" I will call you later,tu aram se soke uth" It was very strange on Tanya's part to just disconnected the phone without teasing her or asking her anything further.
He was still in a deep slumber, so she decided to get ready, she took her shower and wore a casual attire, she knew that she would have to change for the photoshoot. He woke up with an awareness that she was in the room. He did not have to open his eyes to see her. He knew in some way that he would always be aware of her when she was close.
"I will switch off the light, ap so jao" she said when she realized that he was up.
"I am going for breakfast, Taniya ka call aya tha,she was worried" she said and left,he felt as if everything around his was an illusion,and felt as if he was sleeping for an eternity.5 minutes after she left, he too got up and went to his room
"Taniya,sun woh" As soon as she reached the restaurant for breakfast, she saw Tanya near the food platform.
"do not worry I haven't said anyone anything, and mujhe bhi tab batana jab tera batane ka mann kare,I am just happy that you guys are back together" Taniay assured,she didn't want to put her in a blundering situation.
"Well... no.. we are not... he just slept in my room, just slept..... abhi there is no question of getting back together, things are beyond repair" Shehnaaz uttered.
"And did he sleep ?" Tanya asked.
"At 5 in the morning" she replied
"Before you assume anything let me clarify,I let him stay there because I wanted to be with him and He is a part of me, always will be, that's it.... is se jyda na kuch hua na kuch ho sakta hai" Shehnaaz explained.
"I am not asking you anything,jhut nahin bolungi, main chahti hoon tum dono sath raho but us se bhi jyada chahti hoon ke dono khus raho,agar dono ek dusre se dur rehke khus rehte ho tab bhi mujhe koi complain nahin hai" she was holding a coffee mug as she was already done with her breakfast.
"Thank" Shehnaaz gave her a hug.
"Hey Shehnaaz, come here" Called sagar,a friend of Taniya.
"Yes ,come come" Rene also called her.
"Yeah coming " she flashed them a smile,when Sidharth too entered and come straight near Taniya.
"Sorry,woh Phone....." he stammered.
"No issues Bhai,driver subhe around 7.30 aapke kapde leke aa gaya tha,mere room main hai" Taniya said Shehnaaz took a plate and put some fruit pieces on it.
"And please have your blood pressure medicine too,kal ratko bhi skip hua" Taniya reminded and Shehnaaz was stunned to know that he was having so many health issues.She was already worried about his insomnia, she had experienced last night how he had been awake all night and he might have have stayed up all night if she hadn't put him to sleep. Now this fact that he has highblood pressure ,came as a blow on her face.She had this hankering urge to take him away from all the people around and sit somewhere in solitude with him.She wanted to listen to hid cordials and narrate her condition to him.
"Sidharth bhai,Come here" Rohan called.
"Aya.... Taniya get me egg whites and porridge please" he said and went to the table where others were already present. Sagar was flirting with Rene and she was acting pricey, As soon as she saw Sidharth, she started ignoring sagar even more and gave all her attention to Sidharth, just to irk Sagar.
"How am I Looking Sidharth,do you like me in black hair or the previous one one batter" Rene pulled a seat for Sidharth and he sat there.
"I just said you don't look like Rene anymore" said Sagar, Even though she had asked the question to said Sidharth.
"Shut up I am not asking you, your opinion doesn't matter apni shakal dekho... Sidharth jaise handsome hote alag baat thi" Rene winked. Shehnaaz was not very far from the table, she could clearly listen what they were talking about.
"look at your face ,it seems as if it is carved by some greek sculptor, so perfect your cheekbones are....ah... those lips, and nose and jawlines." she said fluttering her eyes and remutting a flirty smile. Sidharth just shook his head in embarrassment. Shehnaaz too turned her head backwards listening to Rene's statement.
"So Sidharth tell, am I beautiful?" She asked again, by that that Shehnaaz and Taniya too were at the table.
"Yeah Ofcourse you are" Sidharth replied courteously and looked at Shehnaaz for a brief moment, and remembered how last time she got irritated because of Rene's upfront flirting.This time she was not reacting at all, it seemed as if she was not bothered by Rene's buffoonery.
"Which colour suits me more," she asked fluttering her lashes again.
"Hmmm... I don't know" Sidharth replied nonchalantly as his eyes were fixed on Shehnaaz,who looked unaffected,it seemed she didn't care atall and instantly he missed the old Shehnaaz.
"I suppose all the colours" He shrugged and reached for some water.
"Okay enough chit chat,abhi We will start with the shoot in an hour, so girls will be in blue dresses....jo main blue wale layi hoon woh pehen lena.... and guys you will be on Pink" Taniya announced.
"Kya yaar...why pink" Rohan cribbed and Taniya explained them about how she wants the shoot to be done.All of them got busy in discussions but his eyes never left her, she was just playing with her food just like last night.Last night also he had seen that she took few pieces of salad but had not eaten them either.He was worried about her health because she was looking visibly skinny.
"I will get something more to eat" He said and went near the buffet area, when he saw a tall slim girl,smiling at him. She looked familiar yet he felt a certain kind of discomfort looking at her.
"Good morning Mr Oberoi" she said in her sweet soothing voice,flashing a generous smile and finally he recollected who she was. She was one who had seen a fragment of his vulnerable self,Dr.Manavi.He did not feel like facing her at all, as soon as he heard her footsteps approaching towards him, he took out his phone and fake called someone. She could understand that he was ignoring her so she also didn't disturb him any further.
After breakfast they went straight for the photo shoot. Taniya had decided that,on the 1st day, the group photos would be taken so the next day,she and Rohan can do their couple shoot while others can just roam around and enjoy themselves.
After a while, everyone went to their respective rooms and they got dressed wearing the clothes, Taniya had asked them to wear and went to the photo shoot location.The photoshoots went on for the next four to five hours
"Taniya maaf kar ab,ab mujhse na hoga" Sidharth said.
"Haan done, chalo guys let's have lunch " Taniya announced and all of them went straight for lunch.
And the topic of discussion there roamed arround the photoshoot.
Halfway through the meal, while they were all laughing and telling stories, he realized that she was not eating again. They were sitting on the same table but bang opposite to each other.
He was already looking at her when she also raised his eyes and there orbs met"Shall I get you something " he asked this time.she shook her head.
Ever since she had got to know about his blood pressure and insomnia,she was getting anxious and was not able to eat, at all.
"Haan Shehnaaz eat something" Rohan asked.
"I had a heavy breakfast" she said to cover up. This was the third time since yesterday she was eating in front of him and he knew by counting what she had eaten, 2 pieces of cucumber a 4 chunks of pineapple.
They decided that after eating they would rest for a while and then meet near at the cafe in the evening.As soon as the meal was over everyone started going to their respective rooms.
"Taniya,sun jara" Taniya was going with Shehnaaz when he called her from behind.
"Shehnaaz,you go, main aati hoon" Taniya said came towards him.
"Tell me" She asked
"What's wrong with her" He inquired.
"What do you mean by that, she is much better than before, you haven't seen her in the last 9 months... abhi toh phir bhi sabse baat kar rahi hai, room se nikal rahi hai" Taniya said.
"She hadn't eaten anything since last night,that's abnormal" he said.
"And are you normal" Taniya cross questioned making him flustered.
"Woh aise hi karti hai kabhi ekdum se bohat kha leti hai and kabhi do,teen din tak kuch nahin khaati hai.." Taniya explained.
"Her Parents are not bothered? Doctor nahin dikhaye?" He asked in annoyance.
"Bhai... aap sun lete ho humari, and aapko kya lena dena,aap jaake rest karo,I want to spend some time with her." She went to Shehnaaz's room and he just sat on the nearest chair available, and started searching about eating disorders. He lacked patience to even go back to his room. As he started googling about eating disorders,his heart began to sink. He was not able to think of anything else at that time,he had to get her out of all these troubles,he felt terribly remorseful. He was on mission to see her living a normal life,did't matter they were together or not. Guilt was something which never really left him alone for a second in the last few months but after seeing her condition,he felt a different kind of guilt,the kind which had the power to set fire to his soul.
The sight of How she just played with with food without eating ,started appearing in front of her eyes and his chain of thoughts which wonders around the food took him to Dr. Manavi...."shit" he gasped as he realized how immature he behaved during the breakfast. He could have atleast say a Hi!.Then he remembered that Doctor Manavi could help him in this matter but after the morning event, he had no idea how to approach her again.
"This is Sidharth Oberoi,can I get an appointment for telephonic consultation " he texted her without thinking much as her visiting card was still laying in his wallet and went back to his room as he hadn't smoked a single cigarette since the morning and there was an uncontrollable itch to smoke. He was checking his phone again and again but there was no reply from Dr Manavi. He tried to divert his mind by working for few hours that too couldn't held his attention for long.
"Hello, This is Sidharth Oberoi, I need to talk to you urgently." He said as he couldn't stop himself from calling her,she was considerate enough to pick it up. He was walking on the corridor while talking.
"Good evening Mr Oberoi, I am on a 2 day off, we can have a session on Monday" she replied politely. While walking on the corridor,he saw her sitting in one of the cafeterias which was just one floor bellow the corridor he was walking on. He disconnected the phone and just ran down to to catch her. She was with few other people.
"Hi! I know it's not the right place,neither the right approach, you are here for a vacation, but I really need to talk to you " he was panting heavily.
"Hello, Sir, I ....ummm....
okay..... so guys just excuse me for a moment" she excused herself from there and went aside to talk to him.
"Dr,I know it's as not at all appropriate " he said.
"Yes but I feel you are pro at doing inappropriate things" she said ,her trademark smile was missing.
"Like" he acted as if he didn't know what she was talking about.
"Why did you knowingly ignored me at the restaurant during breakfast" she asked straight.
"I am sorry for that,I was not fully awake you know" he made a futile excuse.
"Oh really!!!!!" She exclaimed.
"See ,I am sorry! I can make a personalized lilac chandelier for you, I can design it myself with you name engraved on all the hangings" he said,without thinking how adorably childish he was behaving.
"Thank you,but I am not that self obsessed, name engraved chandelier... oh my god!!! " she smiled a little.
"Manavi..... I am really sorry to interrupt but could you just come to the table for a while and place your order" A guy said, His face was clearly stating his jealousy,Sidharth could assume that he was not happy with him but he was adamant.
"I know you are with your friends but I won't take much time" Sidharth said looking at Dr Manavi.
"Come here"Manavi asked the guy.
"Mr Oberoi meet Manas,my fiance... Manas that's Mr Sidharth Oberoi... do you remember mere clinic ka interior...." she introduced them and they exchanged pleasantries.
"Oh yes... you look familiar.... I was wondering kahin toh dekha hoon" he didn't let her finish.
"Oh ,hun mile hain!" Sidharth exclaimed.
"Mr Oberoi, may be you don't realize but you are famous " Manavi stated and Sidharth flashed a modest smile.
"He had a conference here,so I tagged along" Dr Manavi further said.
"First of all congratulations to both of you...." he said.
"Thank you, Manavi tum khatam karke aao" Manas said and went away.
"Now if you don't mind can I go back" She asked.
"See, Dr I need to talk to you" Sidharth was rigid.
"Sir..." She was little reluctant.
"Ok listem Doctor it's serious, I need to talk to you and by the way have you heard that quote - doctors are never on vacation" he smirked on his own joke.
"You know ,you seems much better then last time.... its good to see you like this." she smiled.
"5 baje se 9 baje tak soya hoon aj... chain ki neend" he Said innocently.
"Still less..... Okay, let's meet for coffee in an hour, it won't be a regular session but we can talk,not as a doctor but may be as a confidant" she said.
"Thank you so much,just ping me once you are free" he said and she nodded. He went back to his room and waited for her message and when he received her message after an hour, he just ran to the pre decided venue
"Tell me ,sir" she asked as they got seated.
"It's Sidharth for you" he said .
"So Doctor" He started
"Call me Manavi" she said,he smiled.
"Manavi,I just want to ask you a few things" he said and he nodded.
"Can nervous breakdown and not eating food be a sign of depression" He asked straightaway.
"Yeah chances are there,but jaruri nahin hai....Sidharth... you need to tell me the whole thing" She said.
"So lets assume I am having a nice exhibition and all of a sudden I break few things which I have created and go without food for 1 or 2 days straightway and eat on the 3rd day and again go off food.... what does that implies" he asked.
"Can we be honest to eachother please,I will not judge you but can certainly help you" she assured.
"Yeah main bata raha hoon issue,you tell me what does it means" he still acted difficult.
"As much I can understand, it is not about you,Mujhe nahin lagta aap itne desperately apne liye help mangoge..." she said quickly, as she doubted that maybe he was talking about that same girl,about whom he unintentionally uttered last time.
"Okay it is about a friend" he said,though for a few seconds he felt as if it was wrong in some level, he had no idea how she would react to it,she might not like to discuss about her health issues just like him.
"Sidharth..., Doctor and lawyer se kuch nahin chupate hain" she said.
"But, you said this is not a regular session" he argued.
"Before helping someone else, you should be fine... tell me how do you feel" she asked.
"I'm fine.....Well... I am not fine - I don't know....Is there something wrong with me......?" He asked
"Absolutely" she replied.
"I don't think so,life is not about feeling well, it about living....about getting the job done... hum kuch responsibilities ke saath paida hote hain ,life ka goal un responsibility ko nibhana hota hai... " he replied bluntly, he couldn't take that according to her,not everything was right with him.She understood that he was becoming uncomfortable, so he quickly changed the topic.
"Right....ok tell me about last night,how did you manage to sleep for 4 hours....greaat improvement by the way" she asked.And just the mention of last night brought a gleam in his eyes.The doctor also understood that his facial expression had became softer with the mention of last night.
"Last night ... You know it happened for the 1st time in last few months,when I was not at all feeling like sleeping,staying awake felt so peaceful and nice. Then I just slept and I was having a vivid dream. I don't know what it was, but it felt so good" he said in a daze.
"What about other nights" she asked.
"Other night...
Wait why are we talking about me" he again got irritated.
"Sidharth can I ask you one thing straight?" She asked.
"Hmmm" he hummed but was not sure how honestly he could answer.
"Jisko eating issues hain kya woh wahi ladki hai jiske ware main aap us din bolte bolte ruk gaye the" she asked and he couldn't lie just kept silent and she understood.
"How many years you guys were in a relationship, because I feel it must have been really deep or else why both of your bodies would work against your selves?" She asked and he was caught off guard.
"We have known eachother since forever,she is 21 and I know her since her birth, but we had been in a proper relationship for just 2 months" He just said,he could not hide any more, he really needed help.
"2 months" She was shocked.
"See the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on your life, has no relationship with the amount of time you have been in a relationship " he expounded.
"What is the status now" she asked.
"What do you feel?" he asked.
"She is suffering, you are suffering Ofcourse you guys haven't moved on, did she leave you?" She urged to know.
"She can never leave me,like I can never leave her,but we can't be together,I understand why she had to put an end to it... I have my share of flaws and she has her reasons" he spurted out and suddenly stopped
"and you both are broken... " she completed his sentence .
"And Just because it's broken doesn't mean it loses its importance. " he corrected her
"See I have already told enough... now tell me what am I supposed to do, do you think eating disorders could be related to depression?" He went back to his original sentence.
"Being a doctor, I cannot tell you what could be the reason without meeting her,but jitna mujhe samjh aa raha hai I can just say that You both need a proper closure" she said and his eyes widened .
"Without closure, you both would be perpetually haunted by the separation. Even if the reason is obvious, there is no easy way to move on.Most of the pain comes not from the separation itself, but from the chaos related to it." She explained but he just got furious listening to her.
"Ours is an unfinished fairy tale,you seek closure when you want to move on , I have no intentions to move on, somewhere I am mentally married to her... ab please isko schizophrenia mat bolna... I mean I know the differences between reality and delusion... but at times I can spend hours thinking how life would have been if everything had gone according our plans.... do you think yeah thodi bohat jo bhi sukoon hai woh bhi khatam ho jaye toh no.... I am not ready for any closure" he made clear.
"Thik haai...thik hai...even If you have feelings for her, let her know. It doesn't matter if she can be in your life or not. Maybe, it is just enough for both of you to release the truth, so healing can occur. Talk to her, listen to her side of the story....assume mat kari ke kya hua hoga facts jaano and agar alag bhi hona hai toh amicable alag ho...." this made sense to him.
"Sidharth, think about her too, she is too young to handle so much grief" she said .And as soon as Manavi mentioned about her, he was ready do whatever she had said, he could be messing with himself but her wellbeing was vistal for him.
"Thank you Manavi" he said as he realized they were talking for quite some time.
"And please come for a session on Monday, you too need to be fine too" she reminded.
"Yeah okay,thank you so much" He gave her a friendly hug as they were about to leave when Shehnaaz and Rene arrived at the same cafe, Shehnaaz saw him hugging her but again there was no reaction on her face.There was nothing in her eyes,the eye which are like a keyhole, through which so much can be said,was silent. Slowly,slowly he started believing that maybe she doesn't care what he does now or with whom he hanged out ....Has she truly moved on?" His mind wonderd but his heart knew it was an impossible thing.
"Hi! Sidharth..." Rene said,Shehnaaz stood silent.
"Hi!" He replied.
"Pool side chaliye, everyone is waiting, I just need to fatch a coffee" Rene said.
"No ,you guys have fun I will catch you at dinner" he said and went back to his room. As he went, he looked back once and caught her staring straight towards him,He knew. He knew what his presence can to her.
After taking the coffee, both of them went near the swimming pool, many of them were already inside the pool and some were just lazing around.She was just not there, she was looking back again and again, wishing he would come but he didn't.After spending some time there ,they went for dinner.
"Taniya, woh... he will not come for dinner" she asked.
"He texted that he is not hungry" Taniya replied.
"Oh..." her face fell.
"You guys carry on.. main woh coffee pee thi so not feeling like eating main bhi jaun sone " she made an excuse.
"What you guys are doing to each other have you seen your condition, his blood pressure medicines are still lying in my room, You know this is getting too much now Shehnaaz, as I'm seeing you since last night tune khaya kya hai" She was truly pissed with both of them when her phone rang.
"Tanya... tum sab ne ache se kha liya" Sidharth said.
"No bhai... and ask straight.... ok do not ask,let me answer.... Shehnaaz ne nahin khaya and woh nahin khayegi kyun ke usne coffee piya hai" Taniya said before disconnecting, was shaking with anger,Shehnaaz was mum listening to her.
After sometime she left from there and went to her room.He was in his room rethinking what the doctor said, he had decided that he would talk to her but was clueless,how.
An hour passed like this, after that she could not stay still, she went to Taniya's room and brought his medicines and went straight to his room.She was preparing herself to ring the bell when he all of a sudden opened it. His eyes looked droopy yet
sinfully beautiful. His face was gloomy yet handsome and his neck, his shoulders , hands, his arms and his chest that was not moving, because he held his breath as he watched her...every part of him looked breathtaking....
"I was just coming to your room and I need to ask someone... and it's really Important...." the way he spoke made it clear that he was drunk.
"Are you drunk" she asked.
"Yeah, a bit and I needed it to inordee to gather courage" he said,and the way he was looking at her made her feel things.She knew she must leave from there, because she suddenly wanted to kiss him, even though she had sworn, she never would even think this way.
"Woh... I...." she stammered
"Can we talk?" He asked straight.
"About?" She asked.
"Listen I need to know this first... didn't you see me hugging that women at the cafeteria?" He asked and the effect of alcohol was prominent on him
"I did.... " she replied.
"Kaisi thi woh?" He asked next.
"Pretty, kaafi presentable.." she said making a straight face.
"Andar chalke baat karein,she asked as he suddenly leaned on the door.
"No you tell me,did you listen what Rene told about me ?" He again asked
"Andar chalo pehle" she held his hand .
"You tell me... kya ab tumhein kuch bhi feel nahin hota mere liye" he asked ,she tried to take him inside the room but he refused to go.
"Batao, how did you manage to do it,abhi itna kuch kaise change ho gaya, kyun tunko farak nahin padta hai" he again asked.
"Lets get inside,phir batati hoon" she again said and he didn't listen.
"Chalo warna" she tried to threaten and he smiled.
Tonight you seems like the same 'you' with whom,I was in love with.....the same 'you' ,I'll ever be in love with.... I love that you are both dainty and strong. Listening to his direct confession,her knees went jelly,her hands sweaty.Too much was there between them, pulling them together at the same time pushing them apart. Their need for each other was in constant battle with the need to keep themselves safe from each other.
Suddenly he pulled her towards him,took her inside and closed the door. The very next moment, His fingers slide into her hair, and she held on to his arms to stay steady as he had pressed her back to the wall. He was stronger than anyone she knew.
She had missed their closeness so much, she tried to breathe, tilted her head and put her hands on his shoulders.He could hardly believe this was happening.He was finally getting to touch her..... he was not sure if It was really happening. "I missed you, too much" he said.She had to bite her lip to keep quiet.Seeing her like this, he closed his eyes tightly.He was not fully conscious but was conscious enough to realize that he was not supposed to cross some limits.
She tried to stop her self from making embarrassing noises and finally spoke.
"It was strange for me too that I didn't feel any jealousy when you hugged that girl or when Rene was flirting with you .... but do you know the reason ,it is not because I have moved on or I don't feel for you ...
It is because,now I know that we are irreplaceable in each others life,the feeling we have for eachother could never be changed, forgotten, or transferred to someone else... " she said looking straight into his eyes.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight for a few seconds. His
breaths tickle her skin, and I she closed her eyes, letting herself relax a bit.
In that moment he knew exactly what he wanted,he wanted to peel away all the things that had kept them separated, their awful past,their dubious future and the layers of clothing ..... he wantwd to strip away everything that came between them.
"Have you ever wished that you could steal back just few moments from the time we were together "she asked softly. He tried to fathom what she meant.
"I don't know about you,but I want this " once again she crossed the limit she had drown for herself.He could feel the tension between them,she went on her toes and pulled him down , He knew they were being stupid and unwise,yet didn't really care.Her arms came up around his neck and he pulled her against him and they stayed still for few seconds when their eyes met, and something dangerous sparked.They both made a last unsuccessful attempt to remind them selves that,this one move would twist things further when she suddenly took the lead by kissing him fiercely and he too kissed her with all his might,he further moved his lips passionately over hers, urging her lips apart. With every passing seconds their kiss turned more passionate, more demanding..... it felt so impacteful that it nearly knocked the ground off their feet. His hands started moving, he traced her face and glided his finger down to her collarbone, her nails dug deep on the skin of his neck. They were lost in each other and had no idea where to stop when his palm felt the swell of her supple chest and they both realized that it was the time to stop. They got separated with a jerk.
Her eyes were still closed, but she shivered, and leaned into him.
"That was not a fragment of our past.. that was the little taste of our future, together" he couldn't say it aloud but he just knew it.
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That's chapter 51... loads of love to all of you ❤️.