Sana stretches her arms upward, leaning against her swivel chair as it bends backward slightly. She looks at the empty tables around her, it's lunch time and she skips it again.
Their office had a little makeover yesterday. Her table is now placed in the corner, 100 centimeters from the wall on her right, on her left is Momo's table, then 100 centimeters behind them is a long table against the wall that they use to make scaled models.
She breathes deeply, today is the day that she will talk to Tzuyu again. After a week of avoiding Tzuyu, which isn't hard to do since the engineer is suspended for a month, Sana realizes a lot of things about herself and her feelings for her.
One thing she has learned from her past relationships is to discuss differences so she makes a list of some likes and dislikes, pros and cons, of dating Tzuyu.
Pros
1. Tzuyu is patient and understanding. Very organized.
Tzuyu remembers the expiration date of the food they buy so they can consume them before they go bad. Very patient, she would explain things without making her feel she's an idiot for not knowing. Understanding, she acknowledges their differences.
2. Attractive.
This doesn't need an explanation.
3. I can get married when I'm 30
If they date now, they can get married when she's 30. That will not look rushed.
4. Tzuyu can cook.
Sometimes it's a disadvantage since Tzuyu will know that her cooking is not edible just by looking at it.
5. Responsible and reliable.
She's indecisive, Tzuyu is not. The engineer can make the most reasonable decisions quickly. Just what she needs in her life.
6. Parents love her
Her parents will forgive her if she marries Tzuyu. They won't worry about her anymore since they trust her.
7. Goal oriented
Tzuyu is passionate about her job. She's confident and serious about her goals, which she finds very admirable.
Cons
1. I don't think she likes to have sex. Pretty conservative
That's her number one worry. You see, she is expressive, and likes to be intimate with her partner. She likes to feel the connection while doing it. While Tzuyu is uncomfortable just by talking about it. She notes to talk about this with Tzuyu before they agree to date.
2. Too innocent. Sometimes it's unbelievable.
3. Not expressive
This is the reason their misunderstanding gets bigger before she gets aware. Tzuyu likes keeping things to herself until the problem is too big to solve overnight.
4. Pushover. I should teach her to fight back.
5. Insensitive. Sometimes she forgets too much honesty can hurt people.
6. Fashion terrorist. She has a weird taste. Can't distinguish colors well.
7. Weird sense of humor.
Sometimes Tzuyu will smile at something that she doesn't find funny. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung have the same humor!
8. We won't be friends anymore when we break up.
This is her second worry after not being able to have sex. She even dated someone she didn't like much to save their friendship. If they end up hating each other, she will lose Tzuyu permanently.
"Daydreaming again?"
She rolls her eyes. "Have you seen Chaeyoung?"
Momo nods. "She's with Mina." She sits on her chair and rotates it to face her. "Are you skipping lunch again?" She raises her eyebrows looking at the empty cans of red bull on her table.
"I will eat later. I texted Tzuyu." She informs her friend nervously. "I will ask her to date me."
"Are you being serious?" Momo pulls herself, moving closer to her, until their knees touch. "Will you really date Tzuyu? You won't fake it anymore?"
She nods slowly. Somewhat she looks unsure.
Momo has seen this coming. She saw how smitten Sana was with Tzuyu before they drifted apart. She's undeniably attracted to the engineer. Everyone could see it except them, Tzuyu and her.
"How about her sister?"
"I will not date her sister."
"How will you deal with her?"
"I will treat Tzuyu nicely so I don't have to deal with her and her cousin."
Momo gulps. Sana is obviously talking about Nayeon. She hasn't told anyone that she and Nayeon exchange messages frequently. They already know each other's favorite food, they even planned to eat peking duck next week.
She agrees absentmindedly. "Be nice."
"Do you think she will agree?"
What a dumb question? Momo doesn't know how someone could be smart and so dumb at the same time?
"I think Tzuyu feels the same." She says, irritated. This push and pull has been going for too long.
"What do you mean?"
"Tzuyu likes you. Romantically."
"Please. Don't feed me with that nonsense." She pushes Momo's chair and rotates her chair away from her friend. "She doesn't."
"You are so—"
"What's up? What's up?" Jihyo appears in their empty office. "Any news?"
"Read the newspaper." Sana banters. "Are you talking to Nayeon?"
"Yeah. We're friends." She shrugs. "Tzuyu's sister left already, also I heard she's meeting an employee. Jeongyeon doesn't take my warning seriously."
"Why do you hate her? Jeongyeon is nice and funny." Sana asks curiously. "She's also single."
"I want Nayeon to date to marry. Jeongyeon doesn't like commitment, she plays with people a lot. She doesn't take relationships seriously." Her eyes fall on the empty cans of red bull beside the computer. "Are you drinking that much?"
"Jeongyeon is not that bad." Finally she grabs all the cans and throws them in the small trash bin beside her desk.
"You don't know her personally."
"Do you used to date?" Momo asks.
"Oh please." Jihyo's face contorts in disgust. "I would never touch that woman."
"I stopped talking to Nayeon."
Oh this is drama. Jeongyeon enters the office carrying blueprints.
"Hi, Jeong." Sana and Momo greet the engineer in unison.
"You better."
"I didn't sleep with your sister. You know I'd never—"
"You slept with Amy?!" Sana asks in awe. "She's only–"
"Shut up!" Jihyo turns aggressively facing the engineer.
Momo held her chest when her heart almost jumped out of her chest. "Goodness." She whispers.
"I'm telling—"
"Shut up! You don't get to explain. I don't care. Stay away from Nayeon." Then the manager storms off.
Jeongyeon sighs and places the blueprint on the table. "Your copy."
"Thanks."
Without explanation, Jeongyeon leaves the office too.
"That's wild." Momo says while looking at the two suddenly leaving their office. "I didn't know Jeongyeon dated Jihyo's sister."
"It must be a misunderstanding. I don't think Jeongyeon will do it."
She knocks on her door at exactly seven in the evening. Wearing a coffee stained white polo, she waits outside Tzuyu's apartment with a meal from Mcdonald's. Chaeyoung informed her that Tzuyu has been craving fast food. It surely isn't healthy but she's glad Tzuyu is normal.
"Hi." The engineer greets her after opening the door. "Come in, please."
Tzuyu has gained weight, it's not much but Sana notices it. She still has a cast around her arm, her cheeks look so fluffy.
Tzuyu furrows her brow. "What happened to your shirt?"
"I ordered coffee and spilled everything on me."
"What? Are you okay? Let me see."
"It's iced coffee. Don't worry." Sana smiles. "Here." She holds the paper bag high, showing it to the younger woman.
"Thank you. How did you know?"
"I have my ways."
"Your ways are named Chaeyoung?"
She shrugs, smiling. "Maybe."
Tzuyu gets plates and saucers from the kitchen, holding them in one hand. They settle comfortably in the living room. Tzuyu has a dining set with only one chair, they can't really eat together unless she will let Sana sit on her lap the whole time.
"I will buy another chair." She looks at Sana who's busy unwrapping the burger then placing it on the plate. "Sorry you have to drive."
"It's okay. Thanks for letting the guard know."
"Yeah. I told him to let you in." And not to question Sana. She knew the architect hated it. "You only bought one burger? Are we sharing?"
"I'll have fries."
"You're working late."
"Did Chaeyoung tell you?"
"No. You look tired. I don't ask her about you."
She avoided asking anyone about Sana. She doesn't want to miss her even more and thinks about her all the time so she tries to be busy by reading and eating.
Sana nods, gently pushing the plate to Tzuyu. "You have a comfortable couch."
"Yeah. I sat on every couch at the store before I bought this."
It is comfortable, not hard and not too soft. Sana doesn't like the color though. It is navy blue, paired with black coffee table.
"You hate everything in my apartment?"
"Not all."
"Thank you for being polite."
Sana notices that Tzuyu is staring at her chest. If she doesn't know better she would think that the younger woman is checking her out.
"Do you want me to change my shirt?"
"Is it okay? You can change in my room. Wear anything you like."
The stain bothers Tzuyu.
"Later." Sana puts a straw on the large coke that she ordered. She brings it to her mouth and ponders. "Do you want us to date?"
Tzuyu nods. "Yes."
"Me too. But we have to talk about some things first. Talk like adults."
"I understand. What is it?" She places the half eaten burger back on the plate, grabbing the napkin to wipe her hand. She uses her knuckle to remove crumbs on her lips if she has any.
"Do you promise to answer my questions truthfully?"
"I will." Tzuyu smiles, oblivious at the incoming uncomfortable subject. "I promise." She turns her body so she's facing Sana, her back is against the armrest of the two seater couch.
"We need to talk about your sex drive." Sana drops the bomb without further warning.
"What? Why do we need to do that?" Tzuyu expresses an objection pretty early in their conversation. "That's a personal matter, don't you think?"
"Do you masturbate?" And Sana doesn't stop.
"Sana!" Tzuyu's voice raises. "What's wrong with you?!"
"You promised to answer my questions. Can't you do it for me? We need to talk about this first."
"Why do we need to talk about this? This is something so private. We can't talk about this so openly."
"Because it's important for me." Sana explains calmly. She will date Tzuyu to marry her in the end. There's no turning back. "Can't we discuss this like adults?"
"Fine. I don't." Tzuyu gives up resisting. "I don't do it."
"When was the last time?"
Tzuyu runs her hand through her hair. Impatiently, she replies. "I don't remember. Long time ago."
"When was the last time you do something sexual?"
"When I can't sleep."
"You masturbate when you can't sleep?" Sana asks curiously.
Tzuyu is now pale like she's about to lose consciousness. She releases a shaky breath. "No. I watch porn when I can't sleep. Porn makes me sleepy."
"Are you freaking serious?" Her voice doesn't match her emotions. She feels her world collapsing in front of her.
Then she imagines.. doing it, then suddenly Tzuyu falls on top of her, then she will hear her snoring. That's scary and crazy.
While Tzuyu wonders how Sana could talk about these things easily, without fainting.
Sana is reallg an adult. Tzuyu thinks to herself.
"I'm serious. Why are we even talking about this?"
"I need to have sex at least four times in a week." She exaggerates.
"That's—impossible. We work 6 days a week." Tzuyu shakes her head, looking horrified like she has been held hostage. "I can't do that. That's too much. Did you do it with Chris that often?"
"Stop asking about Chris." She says through gritted teeth.
"No. Answer me."
How can she answer it? She couldn't do it with Chris without thinking about her. Their first sex was her last. Even their kiss required a lot of concentration since she needed to think consciously that she was kissing Chris and not Tzuyu.
"No, we did not. We did it once in his apartment. Happy? Or do you want me to tell you everything we did?"
"Sure. Tell me." Tzuyu challenges her, her expression hardens.
"I want a rule that doesn't allow you to mention Chris ever again."
"Why?"
"Stop asking."
Sana stands from the comfortable couch. After talking about her concern, they talked about what they will do for their relationship to work. They are master planners after all.
"I will change my shirt." She informs the engineer.
"Sure. You won't get lost, this is a one bedroom apartment." Tzuyu cracks a joke that Sana doesn't find funny. She doesn't like small spaces and Tzuyu's apartment is not an exception.
She goes inside the bedroom where the awkward size bed is. Large for one person, small for two people. She shakes her head and walks to the small closet with a mirror door.
She scans the clothes neatly folded in each shelf. Tzuyu doesn't organize her clothes by color, instead she organizes them by type. So she searches for the sweatshirts, and pulls a gray one, placing it on the bed.
She looks at herself on the mirror, holding the button of her shirt. Slowly she unbuttons, while staring at her body. Does Tzuyu find her attractive? She wonders.
She lost some weight, she knew, her pants feels bigger on her.
"Should I remove my bra?" She contemplates, then resort to removing it.
She wears the sweatshirt, it is too big that it hides her hands well. "She's tall."
She grabs her shirt, and was about to leave the room when a piece of paper caught her eyes. It is placed on top of a thick book, on the bedside table. It has Tzuyu's handwriting.
Dislikes
1. Loud. But I worry when she's quiet.
2. Can't cook. It's okay, I like cooking for her.
3. Indecisive. I can help her decide
4. Forgetful. I can always remind her
5. Bad tempered. Be patient but don't tolerate
6. Waste a lot. I will teach her not to waste food and money
7. Too cute. I lose focus.
"She's talking about me right?"
Tzuyu writes things she dislikes about her and includes how she will adjust.
"Why are you so considerate?"
Sana reminds herself to delete the lists she made on her phone. She turns around and walks out of the bedroom with her face crimsoned.
Tzuyu chose a smaller bed to fit bookshelves in her room. She knows her priority.
"Do you want to eat here? I can order something you like."
And she chose a smaller apartment in an expensive building because of its security. She takes care of herself well.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Do you really want to try? Have a romantic relationship with me?"
"I do."
"I'm difficult. You know that right?"
"Of course."
She walks toward Tzuyu. Her clasped hands behind her. She forgot her shirt and her bra inside Tzuyu's bedroom. "Could you at least try to be intimate with me? I like it when you touch me."
"Of course. I can always try." Tzuyu is now smiling, the discomfort is gone. She pulls Sana by her waist with her right arm. "We're really dating."
"I know."
They really end up dating each other after she moved out.