Isabella's POV
His lips move on mine and the kiss isn't rough. It is sweet, soft, slow, and passionate. It is the exact thing I have always envisioned for my first time.
Something as soft as the feathers of a hummingbird, something as sweet as my favorite wine, Adrianna Vineyard, something as slow as the current music, and something as passionate as what is between Jayden and me.
At first, the kiss caught me off guard but I did not waste any more time by thinking about the kiss instead of enjoying it while it lasted.
I throw every warning and thought to the winds and grab his waist closer, tugging him hard against my front, his chest pressing hard on my bosom.
He delves his tongue further into my mouth, seeking access to explore more of the insides of my mouth and I open my mouth wider to grant him full access, to taste every inch of my mouth.
A groan escapes his mouth and I let out the moan I have been trying not to let out too. His touch makes my skin feel so alive but his kiss is performing wonders on every part of my body.
Just like the movies and what they describe in romantic books, I feel it.
Yes, I can feel the butterflies in my stomach but mine is different. Everything present in my stomach is all dancing for joy. My legs are so weak that I can pass out with just a push. My head swells with such much pride at having my first kiss with someone as gorgeous as Jayden.
Not just anyone but my husband.
Then it clicks.
Jayden is my husband but on paper. I think he also realizes what he is doing and his mouth stops the wonders they were doing on mine.
My eyes flutter open to see him still closing his eyes tightly.
What have we done?
He leaves my lips and a cold breeze brush past them to indicate the absence of his hot addictive lips on mine.
He takes his hands away from my body too and moves to the sofa. Biting my lower lips in regrets, I can still feel the taste of his mouth on mine.
We have just ruined everything. How do we look at each other now without having to recall these two minutes of passion?
I know I like Jayden a lot but I don't want to think this has more to do with my likeness to him. Standing confused in the middle of the room, I try to think of what the kiss really meant.
If a man likes you too, does the kiss taste different? How do you differentiate the kiss of a man who likes you and the one who doesn't?
Suddenly, Jayden gets up and rushes past me to the bedroom. My legs are glued to the ground and the music has stopped playing. I can't follow him. I can't talk to him. I can't ask him questions.
The door to the bedroom slammed shut and it startles me. I jerk back in fright to realize he is really gone and he doesn't want us to talk about what just happened between us.
This is a mistake.
Yes. A mistake.
I shouldn't have allowed him. I should have pushed him away when he kissed me.
I am sure Jayden doesn't like me. A man who likes a woman would never leave her standing in the middle of a room while he runs away without a word.
I don't really have experience with love and relationships but my solid belief in love and my passion for romantic books have opened my eyes to a whole lot of things that experience would have taught me.
No man would leave a woman he loves standing.
What am I saying? I slap myself mentally and walk to the sofa where she stood up from. I sit quietly but my emotions are numb. I don't know what I am feeling right now.
Regrets? Yes.
What just happened between Jayden and me is far from love. I don't even love him so why should I talk about love here?
Besides, Jayden can never fall in love again with another woman. Helena has his heart. She had taken possession of it before she died so there was no space for another woman to come in. She had claimed him, even in death.
A wave of guilt flows through my entire body at the thought of Helena.
I shouldn't be doing this. I don't know Helena a bit. I know she must be watching us right now with a disappointed look on her face.
Jayden is still loyal and faithful to her even in death so it should remain that way. I shouldn't be responsible for tainting a vow with the dead.
No. I shake my head intermittently, the emotions flowing back into my body from where they flew to.
I got this.
I got this.
I have been pretending to be a real wife to him for over a month now. It shouldn't be so hard to pretend like this kiss means nothing or pretend as if this kiss didn't happen for the next 11 months.
Eleven months seems like a long time but I can do it. I can do whatever I put my mind to.
Am I reading too many romantic books and I am beginning to think my story would end up being cliche?
No!
Jayden is real. He isn't a fictional character like those men. He doesn't have a heart to love. He can't fall for the second time in a lifetime.
I am real too. I deserve someone who will appreciate me for who I am. A first-time love experience shouldn't be this way. It ought to be with someone else. This is why I want to go to Italy. I want to go to Verona and Tuscan.
Italian men are passionate lovers and that is what I want. Even if I don't find love, a one-stand won't be a bad idea. At least I won't end up dying a virgin.
I let out a deep relief before glancing around to see the food I placed on the table. The steam has reduced and I am sure it is already getting cold.
I shoot up to my feet to get it. I place the tray down in front of me and grab a plate to eat.
It is spaghetti with meatloaf. My stomach rumbles at the sight as I quickly dig into it. I stop my head from twirling around everything that has happened in just a few minutes of waking up as I eat. Pouring out my aggression and frustration on the food.
If only I had fallen in love with a rich man, I might not be pretending to be Jayden's wife and I wouldn't be in this tight situation. But unfortunately, my shape and pretty face were only attracting unserious men who wanted nothing but a one-night stand or for me to be one of their mistresses.
I finish off the food within minutes and I gulp down the glass of fruit juice on the tray before dropping the plates and belching in satisfaction.
When I remember that Jayden has locked himself up in the bedroom without eating, I decide to go and persuade him to come out and eat.
As soon as I stand up to go and get him, the door to the bedroom opens and he comes out. But as a different man.
He doesn't look like the Jayden I have become friends with for a week. He doesn't look like the broken Jayden I have considered him to be ever since I got to know about his story and that of Helena from Gabriel.
He doesn't look like the same Jayden who left me standing in the middle of the room after a passionate kiss we both shared. He doesn't look like the man who cooked this delicious meal for me, he doesn't look like the man I danced with a few minutes ago who was laughing like someone who has no care in the world.
He looks exactly like someone I once knew. The rude, harsh, arrogant Jayden I knew from a year ago.
The one who was my boss. The one who always shouts at me for being clumsy and stupid.
He strolls toward me without sparing me a glance and grabs the food on the tray.
When he raises his head to meet my gaze, I can see it all. All the emotions. And the assumptions I have are right.
"Get ready, we will be leaving for home now", he declares openly before turning back to leave me standing there again.
It takes a while for it to process in my head and I find myself asking softly. "Has it stopped raining?"
He does not turn back to look at me. Instead, he continues walking till he is out of sight without giving me a reply.
I peel my feet off the floor, moving closer to the door to check out if it has stopped raining and if it is safe to go home indeed.
I get there to see the stillness.
It has stopped raining indeed. And we are going home.
Not as couples. Not as friends. Not as acquaintances.
But as enemies.
I am now his antagonist for allowing the kiss to happen
****
Here you have it. They are back to square one.
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