Pure Stupidity (Konosuba x Ma...

By umya50

7K 129 63

Y/N L/N is just an ordinary kid with a fascination with Dragon Ball Z. He claims that his favorite villain in... More

The Almighty Toads
The Crimson Kid
Stealing Panties and Capturing Cabbages
Headless Horse and Horseman
Purifying the Chaotic Lake

Prologue

2.3K 30 23
By umya50

POV: Y/N L/N

I was on the phone, talking with my friend at the time named Andrew. Andrew and I go a long way back and we share the same interests. After talking to him, I got off my chair after a while of playing some games with online friends and I was feeling a bit hungry so I decided to check if I had any snacks left.

I walk towards the kitchen and open up the cabinet. 

"Shit, nothing's here. Ah well, might as well just go to the grocery store then."

I decided that since there was no food and that my parents were out, I would go get some food for myself and make myself a meal. I got on some outside clothes which consisted of standard jeans, a white hoodie and my favorite pair of shoes which I had since the 8th grade.

Leaving through the front door, I walked across the street and successfully made it inside the grocery store. I went inside and got a few ingredients and snacks for myself then I payed and left. While I was walking back home on the road, I noticed a car racing towards me but I quickly jumped back and wiped a sweat off my face.

"I'm not dying that easily, that's for- OH SHIT!"

Truck-kun always wins in the end...

---

???: "Y/N L/N, you have died."

"Wh-where the hell am I?"

???: "You, Y/N L/N, have died and came here to be reincarnated."

"Reincarnated? What?!"

I look around me and see this brown-haired guy wearing a green tracksuit looking down in dismay. 

"H-hey. Are you good, whatever your name is?"

Kazuma: "My name is Kazuma and yes, I'm fine. Just getting over the whole dying part."

Aqua: "I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Aqua and I am a goddess."

"I can clearly see that, seeing as you are literally shining in this dark room!"

Aqua: "Yup! Anyway, you both have three choices to pick from. You either go to heaven, be reincarnated as a baby or be reincarnated to a world that is under attack by the Devil King and you take one power to help you!"

"Well, if it wasn't obvious enough, I'll be taking the third option. What about you, Kazuma?"

Kazuma: "I'll go with the third option as well."

I noticed that he said that with a sad tone, so I decided to comfort him a little.

"Hey man, I know it was hard that you died but no use really fawning over it now. Instead, let's just talk how we died."

Aqua bursted out with laughter while Kazuma was getting silently angry while I was just plain confused.

"What is it? What's so funny?"

Aqua: "It's just that, this kid right here had the funniest death I have ever seen!"

Kazuma: "Don't you dare tell him!"

"Please do, I promise I won't make fun of you."

Aqua: "He died trying to save a girl from a slow moving tractor that wasn't ever going to touch her! When he pushed her out the way, he was so scared at the thought of getting ran over, he died of shock!"

I was just baffled at how stupid this guy's death was but I look over and see he was getting visibly frustrated with how this goddess was making fun of him literally dying so I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"It may seem funny, but you did die. That's never a joke no matter what circumstance."

Kazuma: "Thanks man. How did you die?"

"I was killed by a truck."

Kazuma: "Damn."

"Yeah."

Aqua: "Moving on! You may take your time getting your wish ready before you set out for your adventure."

I thought to myself, what could be a interesting idea? I remembered this show called Dragon Ball Z which I frequently watched when I wasn't playing games and remembered this specific character named Janemba. I thought that his powers were very unique and cool looking so I decided to choose that.

"I have my wish settled! I wish to have the power of Janemba from Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn!"

Aqua: "Is that all?"

"If possible, I would also like to have the Dimensional Sword that he uses as well?"

Aqua looked at me and smiled. I then feel a surge of power inside of my body and see that I was physically much more stronger. I look at my right hand and I saw the object that carries th Dimensional sword that Janemba uses.

"D-do you mind if I test?"

Aqua: "Sure, go ahead."

I reach my arm out into the air which created a portal above Aqua's head, I pat her head twice and instantly retreat my arm back.

"Awesome! Thank you, Aqua!"

I ran up to her and gave her a hug for no real reason other than gratitude. I pull back from the hug to see her lightly blushing.

"S-sorry, I know that must've been too much."

Aqua: "I-It's fine, anyway, are you done choosing your wish you NEET!?"

Kazuma: "Don't call me a NEET! You know what, yes I am. I choose you as my wish!"

Aqua looked at him and smiled.

Aqua: "Alright then I wish you both- WAIT, WHAT?!"

"DID YOU JUST STEAL A GODDESS?!"

A light then appeared from the sky and starting pulling us up. I see Aqua crying which stifled a laugh from me. I closed my eyes and let the process do it's thing.

---

We are then dropped off at a little town where people are walking everywhere and kids look like they're having fun. I look to my right, seeing Kazuma staring wide-eyed at everything and Aqua crying on my arm.

"Hey goddess, I don't think it's so cute if you keep crying on my arm!"

Aqua: "B-but Y/N, he took me away from my home!"

"I get that but maybe you shouldn't have been an asshole to him! You know what, whatever. Let's just go explore the town."

We started walking in the town but after about ten minutes, we realized we were basically lost.

Kazuma: "Well, in video games we usually start at a guild and register as an Adventurer, right?"

"I guess you're right, let's go ask a random person if they know where it is."

I approach a random woman that was just calmly walking in the streets.

"Hello ma'am, would you happen to know where the guild is?"

Lady: "I do! It's just there to your left, you won't miss it!"

"Thank you. Let's go guys!"

I gather them up and we walk to the direction where the guild is. I notice that in front the guild, there was a lot of men and woman just sitting down and talking about their day. Maybe it is just plain peaceful around here...

We walk inside and go up to the booth where a woman introduces herself.

Luna: "Hey there! My name is Luna."

Kazuma: "Hello, Luna. We were interested in registration, could you help us with that?"

Luna: "Sure can! You need to pay a fee of 2000 Eris first though."

We all empty our pockets but find no money. We excused ourselves and sat down at a random table.

"This is bad. How do you not have any money, Aqua!?"

Aqua: "Don't look at me! I wasn't prepared so of course I didn't have anything on me before I came here!"

"She's so useless..."

Kazuma: "Are you serious right now?"

Aqua: "Don't worry! I'll go get some money since I am a goddess after all."

She then gets up from her chair and walks towards a man wearing priest getup. She was talking to him while Kazuma and I was just silently watching their conversation. The man dropped enough coins for the registration fee but I decided to do some trolling.

"Hey Kazuma, wanna see something funny?"

Kazuma: "Sure."

I reach my hand out and create a portal right beside the money and I grab it then retracting my hand to myself with the money still inside.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

Kazuma just looked at me wide-eyed while I was laughing at his reaction. Aqua came rushing over to us with an angry look on her face.

Aqua: "WHY DID YOU TAKE THE MONEY?"

"Who cares, we got what we needed now let's go!"

I got up from my chair while Kazuma and Aqua followed me. I went up to the booth and got Luna's attention.

"Excuse me but, we got our money right here."

Luna: "Perfect! Now just put your hands over that device over there and I will read out your stats!"

I walk over towards this weird looking device and put my hands over it. Suddenly, a light starts burning into a card that was below it and it was smoking hot when it was done.

Luna: "Alright, let's see. Y/N L/N. Your strength and speed stats are very high which is a good thing, your intelligence is pretty average and your luck is average as well. With these stats, you could be a Crusader if you like!"

"Sure, I'll be a Crusader then."

The crowd that was looking at us suddenly cheered because I became a high class which was funny to me. Then it was Kazuma's turn who had pretty low stats except for a very high luck stat but he chose Adventurer instead. Aqua's stats were very high besides her intelligence and luck stat so she chose to be an Arch-Priest.

Luna: "It's settled then. Y/N and his party are now apart of the guild!"

We smile and give a thumbs up to each other and we head out the guild. I notice Kazuma was looking a bit mopey so I decided to ask him what's wrong.

"What happened Kazuma? You look a bit down."

Kazuma: "I'm fine, it's just that you two got the better classes when I had to stick with the worst!"

"It'll be fine bro. You just gotta focus on what you get and you'll be one of the best adventurers out there! Trust."

Kazuma: "If you say so."

Aqua: "How does it feel, Kazuma? Two of your party members are high class while you're a measly low class!"

"Relax Aqua. I bet he'll still be more useful than you are right now."

Aqua: "I'm not useless!"

--------------------

Y/N: Kono!

Aqua: Suba!

--------------------

We didn't have enough money to rent out a room so we decided that we would all get jobs tomorrow morning so we can earn some cash. Eventually after walking around for what seemed like hours and just talking about our lives, we reached a place where most adventurers slept, the stables.

Aqua: "Does a goddess like me really have to sleep in here?"

"I'm sorry, great goddess but it seems like you have to stop being self-centered for once!"

Aqua looked at me with a cute crying face which made me feel guilty so I put my arm on her shoulder, making her blush a little.

"I shouldn't have said that. I know it'll be hard for the first few days, but trust me, it'll get way better through out. Are you with us, Goddess Aqua?"

Aqua: "Y-Yes..."

Kazuma: "Never knew a goddess would be so vulnerable in front of a mere human."

I laugh and we enter the stables where we found one that was empty and had comfy looking hay inside. 

"I'll get the left part while Aqua gets the middle and Kazuma gets the right. Is that cool with you all?"

Kazuma: "I don't mind it."

Aqua: "It'll do for now, I guess."

"Geez come on guys. Loosen up a little bit! I know it looks bad but think about the future."

They both chuckle and we went to our sleeping positions. I turn around to where I can see Aqua's face already sleeping away.

"She really is cute when she's silent, huh?"

I turn aqay then close my eyes, waiting for the next day to arrive.

======================================================

How do you all think of this story? I know it's a bit different than my usual but I wanted to spice things up a bit. Don't worry, I'll be updating my other stories too so don't get worried.

Thank you for reading.


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