A/N: Okay so just a couple of things. First of all, i really want to thank you all for reading this story. I can't believe it's on Chapter fifty already and you guys have stuck with it from day one! You really are amazing people and i love you for that! Thanks for being and stay awesome!
Secondly, i'm in the middle of my exams now, i know right, GROAN! But i'm sorry if my updates are a bit messy, and all over the place because literally my brain is all mixed with destiel, Elizabeth I, genocide of the jews and William Shakespeare so sorry if you get a bit of 'doth thee know that you're bootylish' or 'and then Dean started lighting the gas chambers' rather then gas fire in the story ... wait, i don't know why i put that. That had nothing to do with- you know what never mind.... sorry. im sick.
One more thing... MISHA'S IN ENGLAND HE'S IN ENGLAND HE'S IN MY COUNTRY FUCK SCHOOL IM GOING ON A ROADTRIP SEE YA BYE BITCHEZ BYE MISHA IS IN THE BIG E, THE GREATEST OF BRITAINS, THE PLACE WHERE THE ROMANS SETTLED e n g l a nd.
Dean (POV)
I had come up with five steps that would help me move on from Castiel. Five steps that would help me get my life back on track and let me start afresh.
Step One; sell the flat and buy a pub with it's own flat above it.
"So Mister Winchester, i see you've spent a bit of time working in a pub before and you are fully licensed to sell alcohol?" The landlord asks and i nod my head. "And you will be living in the flat above the pub, not renting it out to anybody else?"
"No sir, just me." I say with a smile and he nods he head and looks down at the document.
"Well, i don't see why not. Welcome home Mr Winchester." The landlord says, passing me the keys and i thank him over and over again. It didn't take me long to move in, most of the stuff at the flat Cas bought me wasn't mine anyway and the flat i had just bought had all the necessities. A fridge, a freezer, a sofa, a bed. All i needed to do was buy a television and other things such as a microwave and a kettle.
I look around the area which i was going to turn into an awesome pub with disdain however. It was old, broken down with glass smashed everywhere. Looks like i had realised what my step two was going to be.
Step Two; Do out the pub and make it look awesome.
Easy enough. I just have to sweep and clean and buy some paint just to do it up. I would also have to get a seller that could sell me the alcohol but that could come in later.
First of all i started on the tables and chairs, scrubbing them down and fixing them where they needed to be fixed. Bobby, Jody, Dad and Sam came in now and again to help, mainly dad though.
"It's a big enough area, Dean. I think you'll have this place up and running in no time at all." He says, looking around while he takes a break from sweeping the floors.
"Yeah i suppose." I mumble out quietly and he looks at me sharply.
"This better not be one of those steps that you keep going on about. Running your own business is a tricky thing and needs your full attention, it can't just be a distraction." He says and i shrug.
"Can't it be both. I'm really passionate about it but i do also need to take my mind of Cas." I say, sitting on the floor and beginning to scrape chewing gum off the bottom of the tables.
"I spoke to Anna." He says and i look at him and nod silently.
"She has absolutely no idea that Castiel is even on drugs. The brothers and sisters have been keeping it quiet from her, hiding any bad publicity that the boys have been getting."
"That's good i suppose." I say. "Anna doesn't need to know what's going on. She'll be worried sick and she still had Raph, Uriel, Lel and Val to look after. How are they by the way?" I ask curiously.
"Well Rapheal and Uriel have been expelled from school a few times. They're even worse than Balthazar and Gabriel were. They created actual bombs in their science class and almost blew the whole school up, laughing all the way."
I chuckle lightly as dad rolls his eyes and carries on sweeping.
"Michael's getting married to a lovely woman named Hannah. We of course are invited to the wedding. Zandriel is moving to Ireland to be with that guy who she refused to admit she was in love with. Leliel is slowly turning in to a stroppy teenager and she's only 11 while Valentina is at that stage where she's breaking everything she touches and licking everything."
"That's nice. I can't believe how much has changed." I say happily but then it hits me. Everything had changed. It wasn't the same anymore. Me and Castiel were not even best friends anymore, never mind boyfriends and the whole family was growing up way to quickly.
"Now don't get moody on my ass!" Dad says and i look at him and smile sadly.
"Sorry, i didn't mean to."
Step Three; open the pub
Opening day came quickly and the pub looked fantastic. I look around and smooth down my shirt and apron before twisting the sign on the door that said 'open' and sitting on the counter. It felt so good to actually own my own business. I just hoped that people would enjoy it.
A bit later on in the night and i started getting customers. Not many as i had only just opened but enough to keep me open past 2 in the morning. Most customers said that this would now be their regular place to hang out which made me feel pretty good about myself.
After a few nights of working endless shifts i decided to hire someone else. It wasn't enough with just me and i was losing sleep. I decided to hire Sammy who needed a part time job to pay for his college fees and also a pretty and cool girl named Jo Harvelle. He was a girl i used to work with in the Roadhouse but she said that she needed to get away from her mom a bit as they were driving each other crazy.
Jo had grown to be really beautiful. She also shared my sense of style and taste which made her a great friend to hang out with. I'd be lying if i said i would never get with her, but it was too hard right now. Especially with the whole Cas ordeal. Then i thought, maybe it would be good for me to get out there again. Sure i had had a rebound, but maybe dating someone else would be a good thing for me.
Step Four; date somebody new
I had asked Jo out on a date and she said yes. We had a great time, simple but also pretty romantic. We just went to her mom's diner for some pie and a beer but because we sat in one of the booths, we were really close to one another and chatted the night away.
She had admitted to me that she had fancied me in high school and i teased her a bit at this which made her slap my arm a couple of times. However, the night was almost ruined when she brought up Castiel.
"So what happened with you and Cas?" She asked and i look away from her and down at my beer bottle, suddenly going seriously.
"I don't wanna talk about it, Jo." I say and she opens her mouth to say something else but decides against it. I was thankful for this, at least she got the hint and changed the subject straight away.
Things with Jo were going great, but it wasn't the same. She argued with me about the littlest things which Cas never used to argue with me about. No, i had to stop comparing my relationship with Jo to the one i had with Cas.
Sure the one i had with Cas was pretty much perfect up until the end but he did something that was unforgivable and Jo would never do that to me in a million years.
Step Five; Move on.
A year later
The pub was doing great business. I had hired two more people and Jo had moved in with me now. I was happy. So so happy. Sometimes i read the newspaper and saw Castiel and the band on the front or inside of it.
At first it hurt to see him. At first it absolutely killed me and for a while i refused to read the paper or watch the news. After a while though, Castiel just became a memory. A good and a bad one.
I tried remembering the good parts more than the bad and this helped me to move on a lot faster. It was nostalgic but i was now happy with my life. I got to see the person i was falling for every day rather than once or twice a month when i was with Castiel.
The wedding of Michael was approaching fast and i knew that i had to prep myself for it. Michael had said that i could bring Jo if i wanted to and this was probably my hardest dilemma. Did i really want to flaunt Jo in front of Castiel. Surely he had moved on as well, right?
******
The day of the wedding was here and me and Jo were rushing around getting ready. When she came into the bedroom asking if i had seen her charm bracelet i looked at her in awe.
"What? What is it?" She asks, checking herself in the mirror consciously.
"Y-you look beautiful." I say when she looks back towards me and she blushes prettily.
"Shut up." She laughs and i grin at her. After a while of getting ready we hopped in the Impala and started driving towards the church where Michael was getting married to Hannah. I had never actually met her before but i heard that she was really nice and that was all that mattered.
Of course Lucifer and Castiel were his best men so they would be standing at the front with him and also on the high table when the dinner started so that meant there was no way me and Cas would have to have an awkward 'sitting together' conversation.
We got outside the church just as people were piling in and Jo looked at her hair in the mirror one more time before take my hand and walking inside. Oh no. Castiel and Lucifer were at the door greeting people. This was going to be awkward as fuck.
Would i rather walk past Castiel who stood on the right side of Lucifer who stood on the left? I want to die. This was so- too late. I was soon walking towards Cas who was shaking the hand of his grandma who didn't even recognise him.
"Nana, it's me. It's me, castiel.... I lived with you for a month a few years ago? Nana, oh my god. Nana, stop shaking my hand. Nana, your hearing aid is falling out, do you want me to put it back in? Don't hit me! I was trying to put your hearing aid back in! What the fuck nana!" I resisted so hard the urge to laugh out loud and after his grandma had finished beating him up, she walked off and me and Jo approached the doors.
Castiel looked up and saw me, froze for a good minute before straightening himself up. His eyes flickered to Jo who was clinging to my arm and talking to Lucifer and back to me again.
"Hey." I say, my voice and face void of any emotion.
"Hi." He replies back.
"You look well." I say, trying to make small talk.
"I'm not." He replies. I knew what that meant, it was his well of telling me he hadn't changed. He was still on everything and still sleeping around. Well at least he was honest about it.
I smile slightly and nod my head as Jo starts walking into the church and dragging me with her. Without another word to Castiel i walk in and sit near the front with the rest of Michael's family seen as he made it his business to make me sit there.
——
After the ceremony was the meal and then the party. The meal went by okay and the speeches from both Castiel and Lucifer were pretty hilarious as they told stories of when we were all younger just to embarrass Michael which didn't work as Michael ended up embarrassing the two brothers more.
"Dance with me!" Jo says, trying to pull me up from my seat but i shake my head.
"I'm going to get some air." I shout to her over the music and she shrugs and hits the dance floor. I go outside and breathe in the night air, closing my eyes slightly.
"I hear you bought a pub." I hear his voice from behind me. I whip around quickly to face him and silently nod my head. "That's cool, do you get a lot of business."
"Cas, this small talk is killing me." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose and shaking my head.
"Well i don't know what to say..."
"Just ignore me, it would be better for all." I snap without meaning to and he bites his tongue and nods his head, sucking on his cigarette and sitting down on one of the chairs. I sigh as i look at him staring into space and walk over to sit beside him. "I didn't mean that-"
"Don't." He cuts me off and looks at me. "It's okay, i deserved it."
"Okay." I say simply and we both look off into the distance. I see by the entrance that Jo and Lucifer come outside and just as Jo is about to approach Lucifer stops her and shakes his head and they head back inside. I breathe in through my nose and look at Castiel sternly. I could smell weed but i didn't say anything, i knew he probably packed it inside his rolled cigarette.
"So, Jo huh?" Castiel breaks the silence and i nod my head.
"Yep, who knew right?"
"She fancied you so much. Whenever we went into the roadhouse for some pie i always caught her staring at you." He grinned, but it was a fake grin, i could tell.
"Yeah she said. I had absolutely no idea though. I was obviously too focused on trying to stop falling in love with you."
"You couldn't help falling in love with me."
"No, i guess i couldn't." I laugh humourlessly and Castiel shrugged. "Hows the band doing?"
"It's going good. We lost a few hundred fans a year back because of the fight i had with Lucifer but we gained them back again during an interview we did together to explain everything."
"Well that's good. You doing any more tours?"
"We are meant to be on one right now. Our manager forbid us from coming here but we did anyway. He can't stop us attending our own brother's wedding." Castiel sneered and rolled his eyes.
"What a dick."
"Yep."
That was the end of the conversation. It just went silent after that and as soon as Cas finished his cigarette/spliff, he stood up and walked away. I don't think he had moved on as I could see the hurt in his eyes when Jo came over to us which was when he walked away.
I was right, nothing was the same. Maybe he should take a leaf out of my book and do the five steps. It might be good for him.
A/N: Wow, what a terrible update lmfao. I told you i'm all over the place. But at least there were no Holocaust references... right? right. Maybe right can be our okay... no, never mind. Oh god what's wrong with me.
BAD CAS SMOKING A JOINT AT YOUR BROTHERS WEDDING WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU STUPID LITTLE BOY. I'm getting angry at my own writing??? didn't know that was possible to be honest.