if you don't know which one i'm talking about, read [Shorts From Tumblr - 3]
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Dust and Killer were arguing. Horror had long since given up on trying to separate them, and instead was helping Nightmare try to find Cross.
Helping, as in going in to find the thresher by himself. Horror's eyelights extinguished, the shark relying on his far more trustworthy other senses to navigate the pitch-black cave system. He followed the first disturbance he felt, chasing it down a long, seemingly endless branch. The walls grew narrower the further he went, but he could sense something now. A ripple in the water, constant and carrying the scent of hurt and betrayal. Bingo.
He slowed his approach, worming his way into the cavity Cross had crammed himself into. Horror couldn't see him, but it wasn't hard to picture what the other looked like. It wasn't a nice image, considering the way he sounded, which was also not good.
Horror hadn't seen Cross do anything more expressive than a slight change in expression or posture. So, with the way Cross was hyperventilating and garbling broken words around his sobs, Horror was reasonably uneasy. He didn't know how to handle this. He didn't know how to handle Cross.
He wracked his memory, trying to recall an instance or situation that could help him now, but there was nothing. Cross had never been very involved with the Shiver. He never ate with them, never indulged in any of the food they brought. He slept in another location entirely, alone and cold with no one to comfort him or keep him well rested. He hardly interacted with them. Cross was seemingly always content to be alone. Despite how he was also always reeking of longing and loneliness.
Horror tugged at his skull, anxious and confused. He had to try though. They needed to get Cross out of here. "...um."
Cross gasped, the water vibrating with how hard he was shaking. "Go away! L-Leave me alone!" Horror frowned. "no.. gotta take ya.. home.." There was a wretched sound, one of pure fear. "No, no, no, please, I'll be good, I don't-" Cross hiccuped, his voice breaking, "I-I don't wanna go back, it hurts, it- he hurt- I-"
Horror struggled to get closer, his flesh tearing on the jagged stones as he squeezed in alongside Cross. As soon as he could, Horror began to lick at the salty tears staining the water from Cross's cheeks. Cross whined, flinching away, so Horror ran his tongue over his collarbone, grooming him in an attempt to calm him. "killer.. didn't mean it.. he won't hurtcha.."
Horror's attempt to soothe seemed to be working, Cross's irregular breathing evening out little by little, his words less choppy. "Please, I-I'm- I don't want t...to go back, I-I don't want to go back, don't make me-" Horror rumbled, firm as he told Cross, "we gotta.. night is.. worried aboutcha.." The words only made Cross sob harder. "I don't want to go back, I don't want to, I don't-"
And in a series of slurred words and pleading, Horror found himself learning why Cross was so afraid of 'going back'. It was only bits and pieces, not enough to truly piece it together, but it still left a yawning pit of hot anger slicing through Horror's gut.
They stayed in the cave for what felt like hours. Cross had curled against Horror, clinging to him, whispering half-hearted phrases that he'd already said before, his body going limp with his exhaustion. Horror's mind kept replaying Cross's words, stuck on one sentence specifically that was, at that moment, the worst thing Horror had heard.
"I don't want him to find me again," Cross had choked out in a ragged voice, his words broken up by his hitched breath. Horror was tempted to hunt this "him" down just to make sure Cross would never have to fear him again.
---
Nightmare's tentacles coiled anxiously. It was far past nightfall, and Horror hadn't returned. Dust and Killer had ceased their petty fighting and were gone, the two of them off to retrieve Dream from the shallows. The goldfish had stayed behind earlier to catch up on his missed sunbathing, and it was another hour before the three of them all returned.
It was only with Dream's glowing scales that they could finally search for Cross properly. Only, just as the search was about to begin, Horror came out with Cross limp in his arms. In an instant, the entire shiver had surrounded the pair, Dream asking a myriad of worried questions about what happened.
Nightmare was more focused on the scratches and cuts adorning both of the sharks' bodies. Killer noticed the marks at the same time Nightmare did, and reacted in a less than ideal way. "Did he fucking attack you?! This god damn-!" Horror hissed, snapping his teeth in a display of aggression that was entirely unexpected. "don't..!"
Horror bared his teeth a moment longer, before swimming up to Nightmare. "..small space... the walls had sharp... rocks... but, something happened.." Killer scoffed, on the verge of making another comment. Dream cut in sharply with a rare tone of admonishment. "Killer, that is enough. You've done enough damage."
Horror shook his head. "no.. not killer's fault.. a little, but.." Nightmare gingerly took Cross's unconscious form, healing the shallow cuts one by one. Horror looked up at the leviathan, frown deep and angry. "..he's scared...of someone... dunno who but... they hurt him... a lot.." He scratched at his skull, fingers just a few centimeters shy of his head wound, his body language screaming agitation.
"Hurt him?," Nightmare echoed. He turned Cross over gently, searching for signs of said hurt, but all he could find were old scars and marks. The stench of Cross's fear was thicker now that the thresher was so close. The smell was layered, the stale scent of old fear buried under the fresher smells. Nightmare's nasal bone wrinkled with distaste. Why does Cross never smell right? It's just sadness and fear and-
Nightmare inhaled sharply. Pain. It was so faint, hidden well under the various others, but there it was. Cross smelled of pain. Nightmare's frown twisted into a scowl, his voice a deep rumble of anger. "It is appears to be true." Not only did Cross reek of old pain and fear, but it was only with close proximity that it was clear how unnatural the scars were. Too cleanly cut and healed to have been obtained in a fight.
Nightmare scoffed, shaking his head. "Horror. What else did he tell you?" The shark, swimming in lazy circles around Dream, sighed, his expression sour as he told him everything he knew. About the mystery man who'd tortured Cross.
"Cross said....he spent 'is pup years there.." Hundreds of things were rapidly clicking together, everything suddenly making sense. Cross's odd mannerisms, his obliviousness to most things that he should know, his inability to hunt properly, and his strange knowledge of Legged sciences.
Cross hadn't revealed enough for them to know just how he'd been hurt, but it was clear that he'd been hurt badly, for too long. Nightmare had a theory, but it was so vile that the water around him stirred with his quiet rage. The words tasted like bile as Nightmare shared his theory. The idea was so foreign and uncomfortable that it wasn't a surprise when Killer incredulously shouted, "What the fuck do you mean, an experiment??!"
Cross stirred, a low warble weakly cutting through the silence that followed Killer's exclamation. Nightmare hissed, his voice dropping into the closest thing to whisper that he could manage. "Silence! You'll wake him up!" Stars knew Cross needed the rest. The thresher coiled his tail around Nightmare's thumb, nowhere close to wrapping around fully, even with how long it was. Gently, Nightmare ran a finger down the length of Cross's body, from the crown of his skull to the curve of his tail.
The soft noise Cross made warmed Nightmare's soul as much as it saddened him. Just how long had Cross gone without knowing gentle touch?? Nightmare pet over the sleeping shark's vulnerable abdomen, hoping to sooth him further, and shock rippled across his bones like pinpricks as his finger caught on the edge of a bone. Cross was alarmingly thin. The realization hit hard. It only occurred to Nightmare right then that Cross's slimness had warped his appearance and made him seem longer than he really was. The sharpness of his hips was too defined through his skin, jutting out in an abrupt edge. It was so noticeable, it was baffling that he hadn't realized sooner.
Nightmare frowned, deep with worry. "Horror.. has Cross been eating?" Horror left Dream's space in an instant, darting up to Nightmare's hands to examine Cross. His face darkened as he took in every sign of malnourishment. Pale bones, paler skin, unhealthily slim. Everything that could've been written off as a normal part of being so far from the sunlight. Nightmare had assumed that it was just Cross's normal appearance, since Cross had always looked this way.
Horror rumbled quietly, displeased with the sight, hurt radiating off his body. "he... ain't..eating 'nuff.... He's gonna get... sick.." Cross whimpered, a faint sound, as Horror slid a hand over Cross's arm, the thresher's fingers twitching aimlessly. [Unsure how to respond to such affections.]
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Dream watched his brother and Horror talk, their low voices unable to be heard from their distance. His tailfin flicked anxiously, worry thrumming through his soul, though no one seemed to notice his discomfort. Dust and Killer were arguing with each other nearby, their voices also hushed, but not so much as to go unheard.
"I don't owe him anything, don't you fucking dare tell me to be nice to this fucking-"
"He doesn't owe you his kindness either, and I have yet to see him not be nice. It's the least you could do after calling him that."
"He deserved it after what he did to sunshine!"
"He didn't do anything! And Dream can take care of himself, if Cross had really done anything to him, there would be nothing left of Cross to even kill."
"That doesn't mean we can just trust him, he's not part of the shiver-"
Dream tuned the two out, sighing sadly into his hands, his shoulders low. This was his fault. He shouldn't have skipped sunbathing for so long.
The water roiled suddenly, rushing around Nightmare's tentacles as the kraken shifted. Dream sat up, fins twitching as he spotted Cross. The thresher was being set in the sleeping pit. Killer noticed a split second later, his protest quick to follow. "Night-" Thunder rumbled through the ocean, the water vibrating with the sound. Dream could only imagine how loud it must've been on the surface for it to have reached them so far down.
Nightmare's voice was soft, but infinitely cold, anger smoldering in his eye. "You've done enough, Killer. Cross does not deserve such hatred when he has done naught to earn it." Horror slipped into the pile of weeds and seagrass where Cross lay still, curling around the thresher and holding him as if he were a shivermate.
Dust made a muted sound, almost a chirp, before he left Killer to face Nightmare alone, darting past to cuddle up with Horror. Dream lingered, stepping into his role, just as much of a leader as Nightmare was, letting out a slow breath. "Killer, why do you hate Cross so much? What has he done to upset you?"
Killer opened his mouth, his teeth clicking in a snarl as he spat out, "He kept you from sunbathing. It's his fault you didn't go, and it's his fault we've been low on food, and it's his fault we can't hunt for whale anymore, and-"
"We made those choices," Nightmare snapped. "If you want to blame someone so desperately for things that upset you, blame the true perpetrators. Dream chose to skip his sunbathing. I chose to deny you whale as prey. The lack of food is a result of the Legged's overzealous fishing habits. Cross did not cause any of those things. Cross is as much of a problem as the sun is cold."
"It's because of Cross that you two chose those things! He was too fucking stupid to hunt whale, and suddenly it's too dangerous, and he was so fucking needy that Dream didn't go sunbathe, and if he really did get raised by Leggeds-"
Dream cut in, fury simmering in his quiet voice, "If you finish that sentence, Killer, I won't be responsible for my actions." Killer shut his mouth, grinding his teeth in frustration. "Okay. Okay! Fine. But I refuse to let that fucking. Thing. Be around me. As far as he's concerned, he'll never be part of the shiver."
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"-he'll never be part of the shiver."
Cross shut his eyes tighter, clinging desperately to his façade of sleeping. He could feel someone, two someones, coiled around him, the warmth of two bodies seeping into his cold bones. Dream's gentle voice was hard with something Cross couldn't identify, Nightmare's voice just as saturated with the same thing, but he could hardly understand them over the roaring of his own thoughts.
They didn't want him. He wasn't welcome anymore. He wasn't welcome, he had to go. [Where?? Where can he go??]
How did shark customs work? Would non-shivermates be killed rather than released? Is Cross going to be slaughtered now? [It wasn't like he didn't deserve it.]
"Cross..?" Horror's voice whispered from behind him, warm hands cradling his skull gingerly. "What's... wrong?" Cross shivered under the loose touch, his cheeks heating as he trembled. [He'd been shaking for the past five minutes.] Significantly smaller hands settled over his ribcage, thumbs rubbing over the dents and nicks that littered the broad bones. "Cross," Dust muttered, his hands tugging slightly as he urged a response. "C'mon, big man. You're awake, we know you are. You're crying.."
Cross opened his eyes, finding that he was indeed crying. Purple tears misted the water around him, the tint distorting the colors of Dust's vibrant eyes. Cross inhaled quietly, his hands instinctively settling on Dust's smaller body, his fingers digging into the smaller shark's hips. "....Dust.."
Teeth pressed into the nape of his neck, an affectionate nuzzle that sent a prickling wave of confusion rolling over Cross's soul. "Horror?? Wha..What's happening?? Where am I?" Horror's hands moved away, coming around to settle on top of Dust's, dwarfing Dust's hands as he tangled his fingers in Cross's ribs. As if he were afraid Cross would flee again. "You freaked and ran off, remember? Horror found ya and brought you back, but you were unconscious. Night healed ya and put ya in the pit."
Cross startled. The pit?? He can't be in here, he's not welcome here, he's not part of the shiver, he's not supposed to be in here- Dust tugged a little harder, his voice firm. "Stop that." Horror hummed his agreement, his grip tightening just barely. "..s'ok to be here.. s'better th'n...outside.." Dust nodded against Cross's sternum, "Yeah, way better than the dumb little ledge you always sleep on. It's actually comfortable here. And warm." Cross couldn't find it in himself to disagree.
The seagrass was devastatingly soft and cushioned him perfectly. It was so pleasant. The best thing he'd ever felt. He doesn't deserve it.
"He doesn't deserve it! He's not one of us," Killer snarled outside the cave again. Dust growled quietly at the words, huffing shortly. "He's such a dumbass.."
"...But. But he's not wrong," Cross dared to mutter, averting his eyes the moment displeasure flashed in Dust's eyes. "I-...I'm not one of you....." Horror chittered his protest, a wordless sound that Cross could barely understand. "I'm not even a real shark," Cross whispered.
He wasn't ever meant to be a real shark. He was only a replica. Something to mimic the real thing so people could understand how the real things worked. He wasn't supposed to be in the ocean. He'd been taken from the ocean, yes, but he'd been raised for captivity. He was not suited to be a real shark, much less to be part of a shiver.
Dust and Horror's words, their reassurance and undeserved kindness, weren't meant for him. He wasn't allowed to have this. He wasn't allowed to be held so sweetly, to be gentled like this, to be treated so nicely. It's not for him.
His soul cried out, protesting, as Cross untangled himself from the pile, apologizing softly, feeling horrible for making Dust and Horror look so disappointed and sad. He wanted to stay. He wanted their kindness. He wanted to learn how to be one of them. He wanted it so badly, but Killer's voice came back to him, and Cross knew. He knew he had to get away.
It wasn't right to steal someone else's shivermates.
Cross bowed his head, offering another apology, hovering just out of reach of their grabbing hands. Silently, he drifted out of the cave, swimming out into the argument that was happening just outside the opening. Cross kept his gaze down, doing his best to appear non-threatening as he approached Killer. The bull shark rumbled low, a warning, his eyes filled with anger and hatred.
Cross could barely hear himself, his voice hardly a whisper. "I'm sorry.. I won't do it again.." Killer's growl stumbled briefly, but picked up, deepening in pitch, and Cross flinched away, ducking his head lower. He wanted to at least get away unscathed. He didn't want to get hurt, not again. Not by Killer.
He avoided Nightmare's stare, slipping around Dream faster than either leviathan could realize, muttering a weak goodnight. The moment he was out of range, he took his leave. Cross turned, quick, and fled to his little nook, losing sight of Killer, Dream, and Nightmare once he rounded the corner. The meager bedding he'd woven was pitiful compared to the cavern's. He didn't bother to take it, nor did he grab the food he'd stored. The only item he couldn't bear to leave was the little stone Dream had given him as a peace offering when they'd first met. Cross grabbed the rock, gripping it so tightly that it dug into his bones painfully.
Killer's voice echoed through the trench, furious, wordless, heavy silence falling afterwards. The argument was over. Cross hoped desperately that it wouldn't last too much longer after today. It's such a pointless argument to have, whether Cross would be kept or not. The answer was so obvious. The bedding was torn into shreds under his claws, the dead weeds falling limply into the darkness below, soon to vanish without a trace.
Cross swallowed back his sob, gritting his teeth against it as he swam away, intent on disappearing before the consequences caught up to him. He doesn't get to cry, he doesn't get to mourn this loss. It was his own fault. And besides.
It is not his to mourn. It never was.
Cross was gone by midnight.
No one ever came to find him.
They wouldn't realize until it was too late.
Nightmare's senses spread far, far, far out, every square inch of his millions of miles large territory. His home, the trench, was directly in the center of it all.
It was hours later, after Cross had taken his leave, that Nightmare sat up sharply, disturbing his sleeping shivermates. Dream groaned quietly, upset at the rude awakening. "..nnnight... whatteryou doing...." The three sharks echoed his question in various shades of annoyance. Nightmare ignored them all, rushing from the cave in a flash. "Cross?!"
Dream shot up from his spot, darting out after his brother. "Nightmare? What's wrong?" Nightmare spun around, frantic, "Cross is not in the trench, he's left my territory entirely, he's gone."
Horror sputtered, Dust pale at his side. "Whaddya mean... gone???"
Killer whipped past them all, shooting around the corner, barking out Cross's name as he neared the thresher's usual sleeping place. He stopped dead, his voice cutting off abruptly as he froze. The nook was empty. Nothing was left but scraps of food and a few bits of shredded weeds.
Dream bumped into Killer in his haste to see, his gasp pained. As fast as he'd come, Dream took off again, speeding into the darkness beyond the trench, calling Cross's name desperately. Killer didn't move from his spot, staring at the abandoned ledge blankly, only moving when something slammed into him.
Dust's claws ripped at Killer's bones, his voice scratchy with tears as he roared, "Look what you fucking did!" Dust violently bit at Killer's clavicle, tearing at him furiously, refusing to let go even when Nightmare tried to separate them. "Enough! ENOUGH! Dust!"
And miles away, in a lonely patch of seaweed, Cross cowered in the carcass of a whale, wishing he'd died in that sunken cage.
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hehhehe sad times galore!!! :] hope you enjoyed the update <3