Finally some fluff- hope you enjoy.
------------
Hyunjin POV
"Wow, great job guys" Chan groaned as he stood up.
He looked seriously annoyed as he looked at each of them. "-I thought you were better than this."
Hyunjin looked shamefully down in his lap not knowing what to say, or feel to be honest.
"It just came as a surprise" Han mumbled.
"It's not normal here" Minho agreed.
Chan rolled his eyes. "Of course it is. You people just don't talk about it."
Both Seungmin and I.N. looked absolutely lost, meanwhile Han and Changbin both looked like they were having an inner debate with themselves.
"We could have handled that better" Minho sighed and nodded seriously.
Han was quick to agree as he stood up and looked around at the others. "It's still just Felix right?"
It almost sounded like a question, but he still seemed like he meant it.
"Of course it is" Chan agreed, fighting to not roll his eyes. "You won't treat him any differently, got it?"
"Of course" Han, I.N. and Changbin immediately answered, even bowing importantly.
Chan looked at Minho and Seungmin who nodded gravely before continuing to Hyunjin who still hadn't said anything.
"Hyunjin?"
Hyunjin couldn't speak. He was far gone in thoughts that he couldn't quite place. A strange feeling had spread in his body and filled him with confusion and doubts. It was overwhelming and kind of scary.
"Hyunjin?" Chan repeated a bit more strained now.
Hyunjin nodded shortly, still not able to meet the older guy's gaze.
Chan didn't seem satisfied, but he still let it go for now.
"I'll go speak with him" he announced before leaving the room.
The atmosphere he left behind was heavy. Han chuckled nervously. "I guess we did find something more awkward than my first kiss after all."
"Still no" Changbin denied, happy to get their conversation back up and running.
Hyunjin wasn't listening though. His head was spinning at a rate he doubted was healthy. It was like this new revelation had awakened something unknown in him and he felt very lost dealing with it.
He was so far gone in his own thoughts, he almost didn't see Chan enter the living room with a tired expression.
"Did you tell him we are sorry?" Han quickly asked.
"You can tell him that yourselves" Chan mumbled, combing his hair back with a hand. "But I told him that you didn't find him repulsive or disgusting..."
"Wow wow" Changbin stopped him, his palms lifted in defence. "-Where did those words come from?"
Chan sighed. "Himself. He was afraid that was how you saw him now."
"Always so dramatic" Han answered, trying to lift the mood.
Minho, on the other side, looked close to furious. "I'll go talk to him straight away. Get those idiotic thoughts right out the window."
"No let me!"
Everyone looked at Hyunjin in surprise when he jumped to his feet. It had been the first words he had said since Felix's revelation.
"Are you sure?" Chan asked. "-you don't really seem... stable."
Hyunjin definitely felt some kind of offended by that, but then again, it probably wasn't way off.
"I want to talk with him" he tried to explain as calm as possible.
Chan looked at him with mistrusting glimpse in his eyes. "Don't you dare say something mean to him."
"I am not gonna" he insisted.
He didn't quite know what he wanted to speak with Felix about, but he knew he wasn't going in there just to put him even more down.
"Fine" Chan agreed and moved out of the way.
"Tell him we love him!" I.N. called after him, followed by the agreeing sounds from the rest of them.
Hyunjin moved down the hallway with heavy feet. The door seemed to come closer way too fast and he wasn't prepared. He had to remind himself, it was just Felix. Beautiful, sweet, endearing Felix who loved to cuddle, dance and play silly games.
The silent knock on the door felt unbelievable loud in the silence. Hyunjin was sure the others were trying to listen from the living room. It only made his heart speed up a tad more.
"I'm okay Chan" a hoarse voice called out, barely loud enough for Hyunjin to hear through the door.
"It's not Chan" he answered, slowly pushing door the knob and poking his head inside. "It's me."
The sight was a sad one, to say the least. Felix was sitting on his bed with his knees pulled up under his chin and tear tracks down his face. His nose was a tad red and his eyes were puffy from crying.
At the sight of Hyunjin he quickly tried drying his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater before he looked stiffly down at his lap like a dog which had been scolded by its owner.
"I'm sorry" he quickly muttered.
Hyunjin wasn't exactly sure why Felix was apologizing, but he had the feeling that it was a stupid reason. So he chose to ignore it and continue his way into the room before closing the door behind him. He felt incredible awkward as he nervously neared the bed.
"I had to tell you from the others that they love you" he said so quickly he wasn't sure if it was understandable, but Felix seemed to have heard it.
He looked up with a doubtful expression. Hyunjin had to swallow before he could take another step. Felix looked so handsome, even with tears running down his face.
The look of slight hope in his face, gave Hyunjin the courage he needed to walk the rest of the way to the bed. He sat down looking straight at his friend.
"I'm sorry about how we handled it. We were surprised. I have never met a... gay person before."
He cursed himself inwardly for having such a trouble with saying it, but he kept on never the less. "-But I... we don't find you disgusting or repulsive or anything like that Felix, we love you, okay?"
His heart skipped a beat when an honest smile spread on Felix's lips. He dried his face again with one of his cute sweater paws and leaned forward so he was seated on his knees now.
"Really?"
Hyunjin rolled his eyes slightly. "Really."
"And the others?"
"I stood up against Minho to be the one to come and talk with you, if that doesn't say something..."
Felix laughed and moved a bit closer, making Hyunjin's heart beat faster yet again. He prayed that it wasn't audible.
"May I hug you?"
Now it was Hyunjin turn to laugh. "When have you ever asked permission?"
He barely got to finish his sentence before he had his arms full of slim legs, blond hair and oversized clothes. He pressed him as close as possible, feeling his warm skin through their clothes and smelt the familiar scent close to his nose.
"Sorry if I overreacted" Felix mumbled into his shoulder.
"You didn't."
They were quiet for a moment. Hyunjin was almost sure that Felix had fallen asleep in his arms, and he would actually have been alright with that, but he had something burning on the tip of his tongue. He just couldn't get himself to ask.
"Your heart is beating really fast."
Hyunjin blushed. Obviously Felix could feel it as he was literally pressed against his chest. But he guessed that was one way of getting into the subject.
"I want to ask you something" he finally muttered nervously.
"Okay?"
Felix moved a bit back to look him in the eyes. When he recognised the seriousness and slight jittery expression, he carefully crawled out of his lap and sat down in front of him. Hyunjin instantly missed him in his arms, but having him there while he asked this would probably have been quite embarrassing.
"How do you know?" he finally blurted out.
Felix's brows furrowed. "Know what?"
"That you're... that you like men?"
Felix blushed a pretty pink colour and he quickly looked away as he shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. I tried it and liked it, I guess."
Hyunjin bit his lip thoughtfully. "So you had to try before you knew?"
"I guess" Felix repeated before glancing nervously up at him through thick lashes. "I know I haven't tried with a girl, but I am sure Hyunjin."
Now it was Hyunjin's turn to blush as he quickly shook his head. "I didn't mean it like that" he promised him, instantly making the other relax again, only to feel even more nervous himself.
Because he had meant it like that, just not directed towards Felix. Hyunjin had been with girls and he had always enjoyed it, but he had never felt towards them as he did Felix. Girls were attractive, sure, but Felix... Hyunjin blushed at the thought- because damn it, he truly found Felix attractive as well.
"How do I know if I'm into boys if I have never tried it?" it finally blurted out of him, his cheeks turning a dark shade of red.
That question seemed to knock Felix out of balance. He blinked with his mouth open like a really pretty fish and it was almost like he could see the thoughts spinning in his head.
Hyunjin really wished he would say something though. He felt more vulnerable than ever, and it wasn't pleasant, not one bit.
"I dunno" Felix finally answered in English, apparently too confused to come up with a Korean sentence.
Hyunjin didn't mind though. Even though he struggled a lot in the other language, it was somehow easier to talk about his feelings, as it seemed more distant.
"I want to try it" he said, hoping he didn't sound too stupid.
"You do?"
Felix looked completely baffled and Hyunjin was seriously beginning to doubt his idea, and yet he had never wanted to do something more. He tried to look confident as he nodded.
"But not just any boy."
That only seemed to puzzle Felix even further. Hyunjin sighed dramatically, really struggling to not lose his courage. It was now or never. If he was about to get rejected, so be it. There had to be a first for everything right?
He could practically feel himself shake as he leaned forward on the bed. Felix's eyes became even wider, but he didn't move as the other's face approached. Hyunjin had seen Felix's face up close countless times, but this was different. His heart skipped a beat as he finally closed his eyes and met the soft, warm lips with his own. They were so full and inviting, and Hyunjin forgot everything about being nervous in that second.
It was short, and yet he was sure it was the best kiss he'd ever had.
The anxious feeling came back the minute he leaned away. He almost didn't dare look at the other. He seriously hoped he hadn't just crossed some kind of boundary.
"How was it?"
Felix didn't sound like he normally did. His voice seemed empty and when Hyunjin looked at him, he didn't meet his gaze. The heavy feeling of regret instantly filled his body and made him want to run. But he forced himself to remain calm. Whatever mess he had just caused, he was determined to fix again.
"I... I liked it" he admitted hoarsely. "I really liked it."
"Good."
It didn't sound good. Felix still wasn't looking at him. He was fidgeting with his sleeves and looking very, very small.
Hyunjin bit his lip nervously. "I'm sorry if I crossed your boundary. I didn't mean to."
Felix shrugged, pretending it didn't matter, even though it was obvious that it was the opposite he felt.
"It's not the first time."
"What do you mean?" Hyunjin asked confused.
Felix shrugged again. "-Guys have tried it out with me. I guess I am approachable. At least you didn't laugh in my face afterwards."
Hyunjin blinked, feeling as if Felix had hit him right in his guts.
"No!" he exclaimed so loudly that Felix jumped.
Hyunjin quickly lowered his voice, afraid that the others would come barging in if they thought they were having an argument.
"I didn't kiss you just to try and kiss a boy. I wanted to try and kiss you" he explained.
Now it was Felix's turn to look surprised. He finally looked up at him, a glint of hope in his eyes. "You wanted to kiss me?"
Hyunjin chuckled nervously and itched the back of his head. "Yes? And as I said; I liked it."
Finally it was back: the big smile that lit up a room like sunshine shined on Felix's face. He looked so unbelievable beautiful with his full lips, freckles and bright eyes.
For the second time Felix jumped into his arms, but this time he wasn't going for a hug. He climbed into the taller members lap and put his small hands on either side of his cheeks. Hyunjin didn't hesitate when their lips met again. His hands found the other's back to press him closer. It was like Felix was melting into him, his kiss eager and yet so soft and careful.
Hyunjin couldn't help but to let his hands travel a bit. He stroked the prominent spine before continuing down over his firm thigs. Felix was pulling his hair softly making Hyunjin see stars behind his closed eyes. He didn't even think, when his hands continued to the lowest part of the youngers back. A soft whine escaped Felix's lips when he pressed him closer once more, his big hands covering as much as his backside as possible.
Hyunjin had always been fascinated by the way Felix's voice mastered every range, but this- this was more than fascination. That sound made his whole body tingle with warm explosions. He didn't care about the others in the dorm, he wanted more of those sounds. He wanted to hear everything and he wanted to be the reason for them.
He froze when he felt something press against his lower stomach. He shouldn't have been surprised though. Felix was literally glued against him in his lap and he even felt his own arousal grow, but he still hadn't been ready. One thing was kissing another guy, but feeling his arousal pressed against him through the fabric of their clothes, was a step he wasn't mentally prepared for.
Felix's breath was hot and heavy on his face as he anxiously watched him. "You're alright?"
Hyunjin didn't quite know what to answer. He felt amazing, to be honest. He was hot and turned on with the most handsome person in his lap, but it was too much, too fast. He couldn't help to glance down at their bodies pressed so closely together and Felix immediately seemed to understand what had happened. He blushed furiously and quickly jumped back to pull his sweater over the growing bulge in his pants.
"I'm sorry" he apologized hoarsely.
Hyunjin shook his head with a frustrated sigh. He hadn't meant to make Felix insecure again, and yet here they were.
"I really liked it, I promise. I have just never felt... that" he tried to explain, hoping to get Felix to smile at him again. "You're really hot, you know."
"I am?"
Hyunjin had succeeded. The bright smile was back on Felix's face and lit up the room once more. Encouraged by that, Hyunjin moved a bit closer on the bed to softly stroke a lock of blond hair behind one of Felix's ears.
"Can I sleep in here with you tonight?"
Felix nodded enthusiastically so the strand of hair fell back over his eyes. Hyunjin laughed as he moved to put it back once more.
-----------------
More angst, fluff and Hyunlix is coming up. Don't know how this ended being such a slowburn, but yeah....
Thanks for reading!