Damirus G.
I didn't realize the huge effect pregnancy would have on me emotionally and mentally, my mood swings made me feel bipolar it was either I was super happy or down in the dumps, no in between.
"I can't already breath now they want me to add a fucking mask" I complained putting on a baby blue disposable mask to just make a trip to the grocery store.
"You complain about this every time we head out, I've offered a bunch of times to make these trips on my own and let you stay back"
My moods were slowly beginning to bother Samiel, he was trying to get used to this change in our everyday life like I was but with more positivity.
"I'm just venting and you aren't the pregnant one"
Six months pregnant and we were still residing in San Francisco, more like stuck because of the quarantine. His and Nipsey's businesses were taking an online approach and didn't need him rushing back to Los Angeles to run the flagship store.
Our therapy had became virtual along with certain prenatal doctor visits, this wasn't the way I envisioned my pregnancy going.
"I hear that all day, can you find some positivity in knowing your daughter will be here in three months?"
"I can complain as much as I want, I'm the one carrying our baby"
Along with the news of the pandemic, I was notified about my pregnancy being high risk due to my weight and how things could potentially go left for me within the delivery room.
"You complain about how this isn't how you wanted your pregnancy to go but you ain't doing shit to improve it, I offer to make healthy meals and go on evening walks when nobody is out but you rather just walk around mad at everybody"
I stopped in my tracks feeling attacked at the moment, was I not allowed to vent about my frustrations or was I just suppose to bottle them up?
"I feel like this is turning into an argument and I would like to separate myself from you before that happens"
"Agreed" Samiel got out the rental car heading to my side opening the door to help me out.
"You better not forget my flamin hot Cheetos and my Gatorade"
"I'll get the Gatorade but the spicy shit I'm not doing because you be up all night moaning and groaning over heart burn and acid reflux"
I sucked my teeth not replying back to him because he was right I loved my spicy food but my body couldn't handle it right now.
"My whip cream too"
Samiel groaned slamming the door shut running to the entrance of luxury high rise we were currently living in, he opened the door pushing his glasses up with his free hand to stop them from fogging up from the mask.
"What's the point of me buying it if I can't use it on you?" He mumbled under his breath.
"Sex was fun with you at first but nigga you always want somebody to ride you, one I'm not trying to crush you and two I be out of breath"
"Here we go with the weight shit, if it bothered me I wouldn't be with you"
No matter how much Samiel tried to reassure me that my weight wasn't a problem, I still didn't believe him.
"The comments about eating healthy and staying active says otherwise"
"That's for our baby's health and for you to have a safe delivery when have I ever tried to make you change the way you look? You just starting bullshit for no reason"
I rolled my eyes, allowing him to unlock our door, I went inside tossing my purse on the dining room table.
"We'll call Shay and have a session, because this arguing shit is out of hand"
"You started it by saying I complain too much"
Samiel went to the kitchen grabbing hand sanitizer squeezing some in his hands passing it to me to take some as well.
"You do" He shrugged taking his shoes off before sitting on the couch pulling out his phone.
" Every-time I try to talk to you, you always deep in that fucking phone"
I knew it was business for Samiel but in the back of my mind I wondered if he was occupying his time with hitting up another woman because I was hard to deal with right now.
"This is how business is strictly ran for me, I still hear you and shit"
"You ready to lose your family over whoever you been texting?" I blurted out, Samiel slowly looked up from his phone glaring in my direction.
"The fuck did you just say?"
"I said are you ready to lose your family over the bitch you been texting"
I repeated myself, there wasn't that much business in the world to keep him in his phone 24/7.
"You know what, we need some time apart cause this shit is unhealthy"
I blinked not believing what I was hearing out of his mouth but when I saw him walk into the bedroom grabbing a duffel bag panic had set in.
"Wait what are you doing!?"
"I gotta get some space, we need a little break because this isn't healthy for our relationship or our baby"
All I could hear was he was leaving me like the last time and he promised he wouldn't do that again.
"You promised that you wouldn't do this to me"
"I'm just gonna take a few days back home and come back"
"Every time we have a disagreement you run!"
"Because I don't want shit to go too far and us breaking up be permanent this time"
I refused to show weakness, if he wanted to leave then he could but this time it was a wrap.
"You left last time and I forgave you and let you all the way back in, I'm not perfect and this is why I'm still here continuing out my therapy change doesn't happen over night"
"I can't handle arguing over dumb shit with you everyday Damirus, one day it's the mask the next it's your weight I'm tired of the shit"
"Go then but if you leave don't come back" The most annoying thing he could have done is laugh in my face and he did.
"You coming crazy as hell, I'll be gone for a few days and I'm coming back"
"I'm not joking if you leave consider yourself single"
"Go ahead and set up that session with Shay for us cause we definitely need it"
Samiel ignoring me frustrated me more, instead of standing here watching him pack up like the last time he left I locked myself away in the spare bedroom.
"You not gonna lemme say see you later to my baby?"
I ignored him speaking through the door, it was childish but I was hoping he would change his mind and just stick around with me.
"Aight, I'll hit you when I land"
For a second i sat upset but I smirked to myself when I heard the front door open and close knowing he was playing with me to get me to come out the room.
"I knew you would sta-
My smile faded seeing that he had really left me, I stormed to my purse getting my phone out typing a text out aggressively.
Damirus: You might as well stay in LA, I meant what I said. Enjoy being single ✌🏾