Chapter 22: Illiana
My back ached painfully as I walked out of the room, leaving the woman alone. It hurt to move, like small little needles stabbing between my shoulder blades mixed with the muscles tensing around me. Was this normal, this pain? This suffering?
"Princess Illiana!" A voice shouted from the other end of the hall and I turned to see Princess Rebecca waving at me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Your wings!" She rushed up to me, her hands grabbing at mine. "They really are so beautiful! I knew they had to be." She giggled loudly, her hands tightening around mine. "Do you think we can fly together later? I would love that so much!"
"Maybe another day, Rebecca." His voice sounded behind me and I swallowed nervously, turning slowly to look see Prince Reginald walk up behind us. He smiled at me gently before turning his gaze back to his sister. "Princess Illiana is most likely exhausted from her lessons and wants to take it easy for now."
"Lessons?" She questioned and glanced between the two of us with confusion. "What kind of lessons?"
"Nothing that you need to worry about, Rebecca." Prince Reginald sighed as he stepped beside me, his hand reached out and caressed my hand. "All you need to know is that Princess Illiana is going to be sore for a while."
"Well, if she is sore, can you not massage her?" She questioned and I tensed, my eyes looking away, my shoulders tensing in fear, the pain spreading further. The idea of his hands on me, touching me, terrified me. How could I let that happen? I could not, I could not let him touch me.
"We are not married, remember?" His voice echoed in my ears as his laughter rung. "It would be inappropriate for me to touch her like that."
"So then, when you are married, you can?" She questioned, her eyes full of innocence. She really did not understand, or was she really that naive?
"As for now, I would like to borrow Princess Illiana for a short while." He turned to me, his eyes watching me for a moment before turning back to his sister. "So, how about you go do your reading?"
"Very well."Rebecca pouted slightly as she turned around and walked away, her figure retreating towards the other end of the hall.
Reginald tightened his grip on my hand as he turned me around, guiding me towards the other direction, leading the way down the stairs. Silence developed between the two of us and I tried my best to stare away from him. What did he want from me? At least, this time?
"If I may ask, is there a reason as to why your wings are still out?" Prince Reginald questioned, his voice was soft as if he was attempting to be careful with what he said. Like he was hoping that I would not be as frightened around him.
Yet I said nothing, unable and unwilling to answer. All I wanted to do was to get away from him, to not be near him, not like this, not while I was hurt and vulnerable.
"Princess Illiana, please, talk to me." His voice was soft and pleading, like he really wanted me to talk to him, to trust him, but could I? Could I really trust someone who was only going to hurt me? His hand squeezed mine gently, his eyes studying me and I knew that I had to tell him, that he would not let it rest until I did.
"The woman, Helena, told me I had to. That it would help my wings." I muttered softly and I saw him nod from the corner of my eye. He did not seem surprised, not in the slightest, but like he had already known. If he did, then why did he ask me? What was the point of it?
"And how long are you to have your wings out?" He questioned and my cheeks flushed, my eyes casting away from him, watching the walls drift by as we strolled down the hall.
"All day, every day."
"I am glad." Prince Reginald gave a soft chuckle and I turned to stare at him, surprised once more. He did not seem upset about it, he did not seem angry or frustrated, he actually seemed glad. He smiled when he noticed that I was looking at him, but he was not surprised and he did not even wait to attempt to make me ask. "Your wings are beautiful, Princess Illiana. A calming gentle blue that fits you and your eyes."
He laughed softly as he pulled to a stop, his free hand motioning to the room on our right. "My mother had told me that she had showed you the library. And, knowing how much you love reading, I thought that I may be so bold as to ask you to read with me."
"Like a book?" I asked in surprise and he nodded, his smile as bright and innocent as ever. He led me forward, pressing the door open and leading me inside the room.
Shelves of books lined the walls and crowded the middle of the room. Hundred of thousands of books of every binding and color decorated the shelves. "We have hundreds of books and we will never be able to read all of them together." Prince Reginald stated, his eyes studying me as I lovingly looked on all of the books in front of me. I had to agree, there was no way we could read all of them and, in all honesty, I doubted that I could read all of the books by myself. "Even if we cannot finish all of them, Princess, I figured that one thing that the both of us can bond over are books. That we can read them together, one by one."
"That will take up a lot of your time." I whispered, stating the first thing that came to mind and I was not surprised that was what it was. Why would he go so far as to attempt to spend so much time with me over something as small as reading a book? Why would he push himself to spend hour after hour with me?
"It will, but I would be honored to." Prince Reginald still carried that genuine smile, the unwavering smile that caressed his face. Was his smile always so gentle, so calming, so loving? Is that really what his smile would always be like? Is that the real him? "Come with me, there is a book that I think you would like as much as I do." He stepped forward and I followed him, stepping between the shelves, slowly making our way through to the far side of the room. A few shelves away from the back wall, Prince Reginald motioned for me to turn to the right, leading me down on of the rows before stopping and pulling a book off the shelf and handing to me.
"Home of the Prince?" I questioned and he chuckled, his head nodding once. Turning my sights back towards the book, I studied the worn brown cover and the dull gold lettering. The edges were slightly shredded and some of the pages looked jagged.
"My mother used to read this book to my brother and I. It was, for the longest time, my favorite book." Prince Reginald's voice seemed blissful as though he were in memories that made him happy. His hand reached up and slid the book from my hands and clutching it tightly. "Since you loved the Prince's Secret, I thought you would like this one as well. It is just as entertaining, at least to me. I figured that I would introduce it to you and then, next time, if you want, you can choose the book that we read?"
"What if all the books I want to read are not that interesting to you?" I questioned and he shrugged.
He always surprised me, every time he seemed so different. So caring. He was a man that intrigued me because he was nothing that I expected him to be, but could I really be safe with him?
I hated that these questions kept coming and they drove me insane with how frequent they were. Why could I not understand what was really happening here and why was there no one that I knew I could talk to and ask? I needed a friend, someone to help through this, to explain the many things that I could not understand.
"Now the question is where do we go to read?" Prince Reginald's voice interrupted my thoughts and I blinked at him up in confusion. I was sure there were many places that we could go, but I could not think of any. I had only been here for a few days and I still do not know where I was allowed to be. "If you would like, we could disappear into the maze and sit in the gazebo there and spend the time reading?"
"Very well." I whispered, my eyes glancing up at him. His smile stayed as it was, but it was not the same as well. His eyes did not hold that happiness, it held pain. As if I had hurt him, again. But how could I hurt him?
"Come then, let us go." His arm held out to me again and I wrapped my hands around his arm, allowing myself to be walked out of the library and downstairs and out the main door. It did not take us long to walk across the pebbled ground and into the maze on the right side of the palace. Throughout all of this, we were silent. Neither of us needing to say anything as we walked through the maze.
The simple, light brown gazebo finally came into view, its poles were circled with vines that sprouted vibrant red flowers that reached up towards the heavens. The top of the structure sported a small metal shaped bird that stood at the center. As we got closer, a small bench inside of it came into view while other seating surrounding the edge, the railings supporting them.
Prince Reginald pulled me forward, towards the far side, and motioned for me to sit down beside him. Without a word, his arm slid around my waist, brushing against the bottom of my wings that sent shivers up and down my spine, and then pulled me closer. His hands drifted towards the book as his arms trapped me beside him.
But I was not really trapped.
His arm was not firm and it did not hurt around me, in fact it was loose and I could easily slide beneath it and away from him. So why did I stay? Why did I refuse to move as his voice carried the words of the story in front of him?
Did I really want to believe that I was actually safe here?
With a small sigh, I turned my eyes towards the words on the page, staying in his arms for however long he had kept me here.
*
Hours had passed before we had finished our time together and had headed back towards the palace. So far, Prince Reginald was correct in assuming that I would the story about a prince who did not feel like he belonged where he was supposed to be and had decided to go on a journey to discover where he belonged.
It fit me, my feelings. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere, with anyone, but I could do nothing to even try to figure it out. I was stuck and, unlike the prince, I did not have the liberty to choose the life that I wanted.
"Oh, there you two are!" A happy voice exploded in the silence and Prince Reginald and I turned towards the source, watching the queen rush towards us, a giant smile on her face. "Oh, I have excellent news!" She laughed brightly, her smiling eyes glancing back and forth between the both of us. "I just got news that everyone will be arriving here early tomorrow and the dress, rings, and preparations will be done as well. Because of that, we are moving the wedding up to tomorrow!"