'Thoughts'
"Speak"
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Xiao looked at the small camp your group had organized from the roofs of wangshuu inn. He felt as if he should have at least tried to save you. Just as he feared, the information that damned harbinger gave him was proved wrong. Just where had that man got his information? He shook his head. It was obvious he didn't need to monitor you now. What he did need to monitor however was that harbinger, and maybe that strange man that smelled of chalk called Zaicim. He didn't seem to harbour any will intent, but he felt as if there was something odd about him in his gut.
~~~~~
"Scaramouche, don't you think you're going a bit overboard in terms of trying to get rid of that cat?" Scaramouche turned his head to glare at Il Dottore. "Shut the fuck up and leave me alone you yassified Mark Zuckerberg reject." He hissed as he went back to whatever was on his desk. "You try so hard to get rid of them and are disgusted by the mere mention of them, yet you still keep the things that cat has left with you." He said as he smirked at Scaramouche. "I don't know what you're talking about. Anything with their trace on it will be used as clues to kill them or will be destroyed personally by me immediately."
Dottore stared at him. "Then why do you still have their scarf? Or why do you still call me by that name when you are angry with me? I have no idea what yassified means or who Mark Zuckerberg is, but it still offends me." He said while crossing his arms. Scaramouche rolled his eyes at him. "I'll burn the scarf later." He said while throwing the scarf away. "That's exactly what you said and did last time."
Scaramouche looked down at the scarf on the floor as Dottore exited the room. He hated that scarf, it reminded you of him and what you had done to him. He pulled out a lighter from below the desk and picked up the scarf. The lighter lit on fire and the small flame that it emitted dangerously flickered closer to the scarf. His hands began trembling, and he quickly threw away the scarf to the other side of the room. He hated this, hated how despite the amount of bad memories and feelings of betrayal you brought back just with the mention of your name, yet he can't bring himself to destroy the last thing you ever left him. This was all your fault. It was your fault he was like this and had so many conflicting emotions.
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Zaicim inspected the pile of your shed fur in his hands. When he had brought up the idea of using it to make mini bombs, you were extremely confused. After explaining that your fur could easily channel and store elemental energy and would be a great material to make bombs out of, the happy and excited expression you made couldn't help but make him smile as well. You shed a lot of fur, especially during shedding season. You said something about joining Klee one day, who was Klee? He shook his head. It didn't matter, he needed to focus on making mini cat bombs to piss everyone off.
You watched from Zaicim's shoulders as he worked on making bombs. Klee was the terrorist in mondstadt, and you would be the terrorists in liyue. It was the perfect idea. Zaicim said that since your fur was the medium being used, you could make bombs of not only pyro, but all the other elements as well! "Hey, we should give it a mini glider and start air raids everywhere." You whispered into his ear. Can't have Aether hearing you two and stopping the air raids. "That's fucking genius. It would be hilarious as fuck if we gave them the ability to walk as well, but they might wander off and explode in places we wouldn't want them to explode." Zaicim said as he looked at the condensed ball of fluff in his hands. "Wait, you could give them legs?" Zaicim nodded his head. "It'll be hard to control them though." He explained. "Perfect!" He looked at you for a moment before continuing with the bomb. Beware for the favourite child and middle child have joined forces.
"Paimon's a bit worried, but we should just ignore them and continue searching for a way to inazuma and for clues on your sibling." Paimon said while looking at you a Zaicim as a menacing aura came from both of you. "I feel like my life will be constantly in danger from now on." Aether said as Zaicim began working on the mini gliders. "Well, Paimon thinks we could start by asking around liyue harbour for more info on inazuma. For now, let's just recollect what we already know." Paimon said as Zaicim started working on legs. "Holy shit you work fast." You said as he finished one small bomb. It looked a lot like you, but the glider was a bit different from yours and didn't have the gold accents without the straps crossing over each other like an x.
"Why does it have red eyes? Because it's perfect. I'm calling it the noot noot bomb." You said as you looked at the bomb. The red dot in it's beady eyes reminded you of the noot noot meme, so that was what it would be called. The noot noot bomb crawled up Zaicim's arms and onto your head. "I love it. We need more." You noticed Zaicim had already begun making more before you even name the noot noot bomb. You were so fucking proud of this bitch.
"Hey both of you! We're going to yujing terrace to ask about inazuma and Aether's sister, wanna come?" Paimon asked them as she floated closer. "What do you think?" Zaicim asked while looking at you. "Sure, we can test the noot noot bombs there." You said as a small pile of noot noot bombs crawled around and climbed on you and Zaicim. "Huh? What are those things, and who are you talking to Zaicim?" She asked as some of the noot noot bombs started jumping and trying to nip at Paimon. "Wah! Okay, Paimon's leaving now!" She said as she floated away from the noot noot bombs.
~~~~~
You and Zaicim looked for victims to explode. You realised couldn't do it directly in liyue harbour since that would jail you, so you left Aether and Paimon to look for something else. "Think we could try killing the regisvine with these?" Zaicim asked as he held up one of the bombs. A small swarm of noot noot bombs were following him like baby ducks, while the rest were latching onto him or you. "I love that idea, where's the regisvine?" Zaicim pointed at the familiar cave you had gone into so many times for Bennett's ascension matts. "What element will they all explode in?" You asked. "We just need to give them a source of the element to absorb and we're good to go." He explained. "Can we use those hydro slime over there?" You said while pointing at the small group of slimes.
He walked forward and all the noot noot bombs began latching onto the slimes until each of them had absorbed all the energy and there were ni more slimes. "Did I also mention I made them reusable?" You tilted you head at Zaicim. "Reusable?" He nodded. "They will loose their elemental energy once they explode, but they will still be intact and can continue to live. They are also able to absorb several elements at a time, but they can't explode more than two elements at once. After they exploded and lost one element, they can explode the other element next." Your eyes twinkled at his explanation. "WE HAVE EXPLODING YOUNGER SIBLINGS!!"
It only took half of the twenty noot noot bombs to kill the regisvine. Now, you had all sorts of different materials from it. The noot noot bombs happily used the dead regisvine corpse as a jungle gym as if they didn't just kill it. "I love this. Look how happy they are." You said as Zaicim began hoarding the materials. He said that he could use the seeds as poisonous hot sauce. Strange concept but a welcome one. "We should find Aether after the noot noot bombs are done playing." You said while looking at them.
~~~~~
"You do understand Mr. Krosl, that you will have to pay Ms. Zhiqiao ten times the original price in mora? Mr. Krosl, your answer please. My client and I are waiting." You, Zaicim, and your NNB swarm, short for noot noot bomb swarm, watched from afar as the pink haired girl with white horns protruding from the sides of her head talked with a snezhnayan merchant. Aether and Paimon were beside her along with a woman. A lot of the NNBs started to pile up on you and began cuddling with each other in a pile on your backpack.
"I admit it, I confess. The ore I had inlaid on those hairpins was... was smaragdus nephrite." The merchant said. 'Who was he talking to again?... Oh yeah, that was Yanfei.' One of the NNBs crawled up onto your head to sit down on Zaicim's floofy hair as Krosl explained why he scammed Yanfei's client. You and Zaicim both looked at the NNB that was in his shoulder in an instant when you heard it meow. "I did not plan for them to be able to meow, but we're keeping that ability." You nodded in agreement with what Zaicim said. Suddenly, another one of them meowed, then another, and then an entire chorus of little kitten meows came from all of them. Zaicim just stood there awkwardly as the swarm of fluffy bombs meowed around you and him.
"Well, that's that, and we got the smaragdus jaedite that granny wants too! All's well that ends well, eh?" Yanfei said as the NNB that was on Zaicim began eating his hair. "Yes, though there were some twists and turns along the way." Aether said. You noticed one of the NNBs making grabby hands at you, so you ignored what Paimon had to say to pick them up. They seemed very happy to be held by you. The NNB on Zaicim's head then began to fell asleep. "Well, since we got what we paid for, it's time to pay granny a visit. I bet she's been on tenterhooks for a while now." After Yanfei had said this, Zaicim had decided to walk forward to meet with Aether and Paimon.
"Hey, I'm back." He waved his hand as a hello as the swarm of NNBs followed him. "Oh! Zaicim, you're back from testing the uh... noot noot bombs was it?" Paimon said while turning to look at him. "Indeed, they have proven to be quite useful." He explained. "Why hello there, nice to meet you. You seem to be acquainted with the traveler here, mind introducing yourself? My name's Yanfei, who are the cats?" Yanfei asked while gesturing to you and the swarm of NNBs. "My name is Zaicim, and I'm sure you've heard of Fluffy. They are the larger cat on my shoulder, but their name has been changed to y/n. As for the smaller cats, they are the noot noot bombs. NNB for short, they are made of y/n's fur." He explained. "Hold on, THOSE ARE BOMBS?!" Paimon exclaimed. "Don't worry, they won't explode unless me or y/n tells them to." He said while giving an innocent close eyed smile. "What do you mean if y/n tells them to?!" Yanfei laughed at Paimon. "Well, as long as they don't explode within liyue harbour and hurt or destroy anything in it, I'm okay with the meowing living bombs." Yanfei said. "I'm slightly concerned and incredibly confused, but I'll trust you." Aether said.
"Well, now that introductions are finished, would you like to come with us to visit madame Ping?" Aether asked. Zaicim nodded as he followed Yanfei. It was a strange sight to behold. Liyue's half adeptus legal advisor leading the legendary traveler, a floating child, and a dude that smells like chalk with like, twenty cats either on or following him.
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"Ah, you've returned. How did it go? Were you able to find the smaragdus jaedite? And who is this young man with all the cats?" Madame Ping asked. "We were, thanks to Yanfei. As for him, he is Zaicim, a friend of mine. The normal sized cat on his shoulder in Fluffy, who's name is now y/n. The smaller cats are um... How do I explain this?" Aether said while gesturing to you and Zaicim. "They are bombs that I made. Don't worry, they won't explode. Yet." He said, whispering the last part. "Good, good. Then we have all the materials we need." Madame Ping said. "Well, if we're all set granny, I'll get going now. Got a ton of clients waiting for me at the office." Yanfei said. "Oh you, alright then. Go back to your business. Granny should be able to take care of everything from here." She said.
"Alright then, I'm off! Oh! Also, traveler, make sure you don't loose the business card I gave you. I've been looking into the laws of other nations as well. If you bump into any trouble with the law, come find me directly. Regulars get discounts too." Yanfei explained. "Come now child, are you leaving or are you not? If you have no wish to leave, perhaps you'd like to help me clean my teapot hm?" Madame Ping asked. "H-hah, I'm leaving, I'm leaviiiiing!" Yanfei said as she ran away. The NNBs started grooming each other, you, and Zaicim. If anything happened to even one of them, you would kill everyone within liyue harbour with the help of Zaicim. You turned your head to pit down the NNB you were holding with the rest. It whined when you did, but another one climbed over it to jump onto your head to join the other one on your head. "Oh my fucking god they are adorable."
All of the NNBs that were awake all began to look at madame Ping construct the serenitea pot in unison. Hohoo! There we go, the serenitea pot is all yours." Madame Ping said as the large pot floated in front of you. "Take these blueprints with you as well. You'll need them if you wish to make your teapot a little more lively inside." She explained while holding out blue rolls of paper. "Thanks granny." Aether said as he took them and stored them away. "Wait a minute granny, how are we supposed to use this teapot?" Paimon asked while looking at the pot. "Oh, you needn't worry about that. I've already placed a little helper for you inside that will explain everything to you in detail." She explained. "Oh, okay! Thanks granny!" Paimon said happily. "Well, let's take a look inside, shall we?" Paimon asked as she turned to you, Aether, and Zaicim.
~~~~~
After touching the teapot, you were instantly transported into the all too familiar emerald peak that you had worked so hard on decorating in game with your teapot. "Wow, this teapot seems even bigger inside than madame Ping's! There's even a great big house in the middle too!" Paimon said while popping up beside Aether. "Hmm, but there's a while load of nothing around it." Paimon said while looking at the empty space. "Get chiseling Paimon, you could carve us a whole house out of this rock." Aether said while pointing at the floor. "Paimon can't do that, you're the one with a sword anyway, you do it!" Paimon said while pointing at Aether. You jumped down from Zaicim's shoulders to look around the field. Half of the NNBs stayed by Zaicim, while the rest jumped down to follow you. Well, more like latch onto your back, but it was still cute.
You began walking towards the mansion where Tubby was stationed by. "Well, it seems we have a visitor." She said as she looked at you. "It's a huge finch!" Paimon said. "Excuse me, I am not a finch. I am a teapot spirit, and you may call me... uh, hang on a moment... what was I called again...? Oh! Call me Tubby." They said as they looked at the rest of your group. You saw from the corner of your eye that Zaicim was trying to get closer, but was having a hard time walking since he tried his best to avoid stepping on the swarm on NNBs around his legs. You ignored Tubby's explanation to help Zaicim with the NNBs since you already knew that info. You gently pushed them away with your paw to make way for Zaicim's footsteps. He silently thanked you with anod and walked over to Aether.
Zaicim listened to Tubby's explanation while you groomed yourself and the NNBs beside him. "Well, now that we're know how this place works, let's decorate!" Paimon said excitedly. "I FUCKING CALL DIBS FOR THE CHANDELIER!" Zaicim said while jumping over all the NNBs to bust into the mansion. Half of the NNBs instantly followed after him. "Wh- What do you mean the chandelier?!" Paimon yelled.
~~~~~
You had started living in the teapot for a week already, Paimon's favourite room was the kitchen where the food was cooked and stored. It was on a room to the left hall on the first floor. Aether had turned the furthest part of the first floor from the door into a living room. The corner closest do the door on the right was where cat needs were placed, while the one on the left was storage for other stuff. All of the pillars that supported the second floor and ceiling were turned into cat towers with cat walks and bridges for you to travel across. You could even use the cat towers to go on the second floor. The rest of the house also had cat shelves for you to climb on.
Aether's room was on the second floor to the left. He also made a room for Zaicim with your help on the second floor right. Despite the fact that he has a room, Zaicim turned the chandelier into his own hanging platform via physically changing it. He basically used it as his own room. It still lit up the house, but almost always, Zaicim could be found sitting on it. He never allowed anyone except you and the NNBs to go there, so hooray for sibling privileges.
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I now have the mental image of Zaicim just saying "Welcome to hell bitch!" and then chucking a noot noot bomb and it creates a nuclear explosion on impact.