Chapter 30
I texted my friends about the sudden changes in my plan. It earned phone calls from Kat and Karsen, and I had no choice but to tell them that Mill ugly cried for me not to leave. Bwisit na bwisit naman ang huli sa akin.
"It's okay, Amari. Guess I'll just send you your certificate of employment, alright?" Ma'am Anne said over a video call when I told her my decision. "Best of luck in your future endeavors."
Wala akong naging problema sa biglaang pagre-resign sa PAI-Ferrara. Ma'am Anne said she saw that coming, so she kind of prepared for it. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung nahalata ba niya sa akin na hindi ako masayang-masaya sa Italy o alam niya lang ang pakiramdam ng isang OFW. She also told me that I'd be more successful here, especially because the need for psychologists was growing. Hindi ko nga lang sigurado kung magandang balita ba 'yon o hindi.
Mayroon kasing hindi masira-sirang paniniwala sa Pilipinas na kapag nagpa-consult ka sa isang mental health professional, awtomatikong "baliw" o may "sayad" ka na.
Most individuals don't understand that having a checkup on their mental health is the same as having one on their physical health. Kapag may ubo, sipon, o lagnat ay normal lang na magpatingin sa physicians. Pero kapag may problema sa ibang aspeto ng buhay at nagpatingin ka sa psychiatrist o psychologist ay biglang iba ang nagiging tingin sa 'yo ng lipunan.
All of a sudden, it wasn't normal . . . as if mental disorders were nothing but a make-believe condition. Parang hindi totoo. Parang gawa-gawa lang.
Shaira Ylane Chavez: omgggg! dito ka na lang?
Amari Sloane Mendoza: Yeah, so your drama last time is uncalled for. Hahaha.
Shaira Ylane Chavez: huh?
Amari Sloane Mendoza: Now you want to forget about it?
Shaira Ylane Chavez: ahhhh oo hahahahaha ano ngang napag-usapan natin no'n?
Amari Sloane Mendoza: Whatever, Shai. I'll just see you with the girls next time.
Shaira Ylane Chavez: oki oki secret muna natin 'to, ha? di ko rin sasabihin kay thaddeus hahahahaha shet excited na 'ko
Amari Sloane Mendoza: You are so weird.
Meg and Zoey were also delighted to know I would stay here for good. Nag-set na kami ng date kung kailan ulit magkikita-kita, at syempre, dahil may kasama kaming buntis ay sa bahay lang din kami maghahang-out.
I let myself rest for at least a week before I told Ms. Lubrica that I would take the job. Tuwang-tuwa siya at agad na in-email sa akin ang syllabus na ituturo sa mga estudyante. Apat na subjects ang ituturo ko — Psychological Assessment, Theories of Personality, Abnormal Psychology, at Industrial Psychology. They were my favorite subjects, and I never stopped reading, so I don't think I'll have any trouble teaching them.
"Mill, uuna na 'ko sa 'yo, ha?" sabi ko sa kaibigan habang isinusuot ang pearl earrings ko. "I have a job interview in VDMH."
"Hindi ka na magpapahatid?"
"Nope." I picked up my white Chanel flap bag before facing her. "How do I look?"
Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa. I was dressed in a charcoal gray pencil skirt and blazer with a white polo as the inner material. I completed the look by pairing it with my white pumps and pulling my hair back into a sleek, high ponytail.
"You look intimidating," she said, chuckling.
Napangisi ako. "Then, goal achieved."
Tinanggal ko muna ang blazer ko dahil magco-commute lang ako papuntang VDMH. I was thinking of buying a car, but that would be a long process since I didn't even know how to drive. Wala rin akong lisensya. Ang hirap pa namang kumuha ng lisensya rito nang hindi dumadaan sa fixer. It was almost impossible to pass the tests and get an ID without paying them.
I didn't waste any time getting to the human resources office where the interview would be held. I could hear the sound of my heels hitting the marble floor as I walked. Ramdam ko pa ang pagsunod ng tingin ng ibang nurses sa akin.
"Ms. Amari Mendoza?" a woman holding a clipboard asked.
Ngumiti ako. "Yes."
"Come in."
Sumunod ako sa kanya. I entered the office and was amazed by the interior design. Malawak ito at maaliwalas. There were a pair of chocolate brown couches, a glass coffee table, and a door leading to what seemed to be the main office. May mga paintings na nakasabit sa puting dingding kaya lalo itong nagmukhang elegante.
If I hadn't read on the door that this was the office of the chief human resources officer, I would have assumed that it was the office of the CEO.
"Paakyat na po si Sir," sabi ng babae. "Katatapos lang po ng meeting nila."
"Sure," I replied. "Uhm . . . he's the CHRO, right?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"And he still does interviews?"
As far as I know, hindi na dapat ito sakop ng trabaho niya. Among human resources officers, he held the most senior position possible. The interviews should be done by the people under him.
Ngumiti ang babae at isang beses na tumango. "Sa specific positions lang po."
I smiled back. "Okay, thank you."
She asked if I wanted a drink, but I declined. Naupo lang ako sa isang couch at tahimik na pinagmasdan ang buong silid.
Dr. Fujimoto and Mrs. Dela Paz were traveling abroad with their husbands, so it may take a while before I see them again. Hindi tuloy ako personal na makapagpasalamat sa mga tulong na ibinigay nila sa akin. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have gotten where I am now.
Tanda ko pa ang pagtatrabaho ko rito at ang paggabay nila sa akin para makapasa ako sa board exam. They believed in me and even transferred me to Italy, where I could hone my skills . . . and thankfully, I did.
"Good morning."
A raspy voice from behind me caught my attention in an instant. I smiled and stood up to face him, but my smile faded away immediately when I saw who it was.
"Good morning . . ." I muttered slowly, "Mr. Zamora."
Mula sa clipboard na binabasa ay dahan-dahan siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. Just like me, he was taken aback. His pinkish lips parted slightly, and his eyes widened a fraction.
Hindi ko alam kung pinaglalaruan kami ng tadhana dahil parang biglang sumikip ang mundo para sa aming dalawa. I knew I'd see him again, especially because we'd be working together at the university, but how come he was also here at the VDMH?! Parehas kami ng field na tinahak pero masyadong malaki ang possibility na magtrabaho kami sa iisang lugar!
And how come he's the chief human resources officer already? Ang iba ay kailangan ng halos isang dekadang experience para mailagay sa posisyong 'yon!
He licked his lower lip, taking a deep breath as he did so.
"Akala ko . . ." he whispered as confusion reflected in his eyes.
"Hindi ako tumuloy," saad ko dahil hindi naman niya maidiretso ang gustong sabihin. "I'm sorry for denying your opinion that I'll do better in Italy."
Hindi agad siya nakabawi. He stared deeply at me as if I would disappear any minute.
"Shall we start?" I asked, breaking the silence.
Napakurap siya. "Yeah . . . sure."
Sinundan ko siya papasok sa mismong opisina at agad na bumalot sa ilong ko ang pamilyar na amoy niya. The walls, just like the outside, were painted white, and framed charts of brain structures were hung on them. A pane of glass ran from floor to ceiling along one wall, providing a panoramic view of the city.
"Have a seat."
Tumingin ako kay Leon at agad niyang iminuwestra ang upuan sa harap ng table niya.
I did what he said, and even before I got to his desk, I noticed him taking the picture frame off the surface and putting it away in a drawer.
Hindi ko iyon pinansin dahil halata namang ayaw niyang makita ko 'yon. Huh. Para namang interesado akong malaman kung sino o ano ang nandoon.
I sat down and tried to stay as calm as possible, even though my heart was beating hard against my chest.
Sa dinami-rami kasi ng panahon at lugar, laging sa mga hindi ko inaasahan ko pa siya makikita. University, library, and now, VDMH. It was as if there were invisible forces pushing us to see each other. Hindi naman ako para gumawa ng adjustments para lang hindi siya makasama.
I read the words on his glassed-up nameplate, and I felt a fleeting pang of confusion in my gut.
Leon Ysmael A. Zamora
Chief Human Resources Officer, Psychometrician
Psychometrician? Hindi pa ba siya psychologist? He had already completed around 20 units for our master's degree . . . hindi niya ba itinuloy o hindi niya pa natatapos?
"Tell me about yourself," kuha niya sa atensyon ko.
Tumikhim ako. "I'm Amari, 27, and for the past few years, I've been working for the Psychological Alliance of Italy. I worked as a psychometrician in the Milan office for two years before I was transferred to the Ferrara branch, where I worked as a counselor and psychologist during my final year of employment."
Nakatitig lang siya sa akin habang nagsasalita ako, dahilan kung bakit lalong dinaga ang dibdib ko.
"Uhm . . . I did all these things while studying for my master's degree and reviewing for my licensure exams, which helped me learn how to manage my time well. My employers constantly complimented my work ethic and how I efficiently got things done on time."
He tilted his head. "You seem to be doing well in Italy. Why did you choose to stay here?"
Alam kong itatanong niya iyon. Halata naman kasing gustong-gusto niya akong itulak pabalik sa Italy. Hindi na nga rin ako magugulat kung hindi ako matatanggap. He seemed uncomfortable having me around.
"In all honesty, I don't see myself settling down there. Having no relatives or friends in Italy has made me realize how empty my life has become . . . and for me, my desire to be at home has always outweighed my desire for professional success."
He swallowed as he bowed his head. "You didn't make any friends . . . there?"
Umiling ako. "Being social is time-consuming, so I don't want to make any new acquaintances."
"When you don't have work . . . what do you do? Who do you meet?" mahinang tanong niya, nakayuko pa rin at pinapasadahan ng basa ang resume ko.
"I've never had a day of—"
"What?"
Umarko ang kilay ko nang mag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. Our eyes immediately met.
"I've never had a day off. I've never wasted my leave. And I worked all through the holidays, too," I continued. "But if I had any free time, I would definitely spend the whole day at the library, hanging out with my friends, or maybe going on some blind dates."
Kumunot ang noo niya. "Blind dates are dangerous, Amari."
"I only want to give it a shot, but of course, I won't do it without taking any safety measures first," sagot ko. "And it was hypothetical. Kapag lang may . . . day off."
Lalong nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya. "Kung matatanggap ka, limang araw lang ang trabaho mo rito. So, during the weekends, you'll go on blind dates?"
"Depends." Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Does this have anything to do with the job I'm applying for? Is it against the law for a psychologist to go on blind dates? If so, is there research to back up that claim?"
Nagtagis ang bagang niya. "Just go back to Italy."
Napairap ako. "For someone who's already a chief officer, your lack of professionalism is surprising, Mr. Zamora." I could feel the sarcasm rising in my chest as I let out a chuckle. "You have no right to pry into my personal life or meddle with the decisions I make."
Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "I know . . ."
"Of course, you know." I sighed. "Ano? Itutuloy pa ba natin ang interview o hindi na?"
Wala na akong pakialam kung nagtutunog bastos ako sa harap niya. He was acting weird . . . and I hated it. Wala siyang puwang sa buhay ko para bigyan ko pa ng importansya ang mga opinyon niya.
"Tell me about the time you made a mistake . . ." pagpapatuloy niya.
I put everything aside and just answered every question he had for me. This time, he was more relaxed and in control. Kahit na mayroong tensyon at kaba sa loob ko ay sinigurado kong hindi iyon magpapakita sa mukha ko. Good thing I've gotten good at hiding how I really feel . . . especially in front of the people who don't deserve to see my heart.
Hindi dapat ako magalit kay Leon. That was what I promised myself. Naiintindihan ko ang dahilan kung bakit kami naghiwalay. He apologized. He said he loved me. There was no reason for me to get mad.
Ngunit ngayong nakikita kong parang isinusuka niya ang presensya ko ay hindi ko maiwasang baliin ang pangako sa sarili. I didn't do anything to disgust or irritate him. Inilaban ko rin naman siya hanggang maubos ako . . . bakit parang ayaw na ayaw niya sa akin?
"You can start on Monday," he said, concluding the interview.
"Thanks."
I stood up and fixed myself. Ganoon din ang ginawa niya.
There was an obvious tension between us throughout the interview, so it was a relief that it ended well. Hindi na siya nagtanong ng tungkol sa personal na buhay ko . . . which I think is a good thing. I also have a lot of questions for him, but I wouldn't let my confusion get the best of me. I was no longer a part of his life, and I think that should stay that way.
"We'll work together," he said gently. "Is that really . . . really okay with you?"
I could tell there was something off about his tone, so I looked into his eyes to see what he was trying to convey. Titig na titig siya sa akin na parang tinitimbang ang mga emosyong nakikita niya sa mukha ko.
I'm not sure why, but I could feel a constriction in my chest, probably a twinge of . . . yearning driven by the way he stared at me.
"Bakit hindi?" I asked casually. "It's been years. I think we'll do fine working together." Tumawa ako para maibsan ang kaba. "It's not like we still have those shallow feelings for each other, right?"
I wasn't sure if I was seeing things, but I saw a pang of sharp pain in his eyes as he gave a forced, awkward chuckle. Inayos niya ang salamin at tumingin sa glass wall kung saan tanaw ang buong syudad. His lips began to tremble, and he had to bite his lower lip to stop them.
"Y-Yeah . . ." He gulped hard. "Shallow . . . really shallow."
Seeing him in pain was a sight I could never get used to. Hindi dapat siya nasasaktan ngayon dahil imposibleng mahal niya pa ako. Or perhaps, like my heart, my eyes were just playing games on me. Hindi naman talaga siya nasasaktan. I was just imagining he was. At hindi ko dapat iniisip na may ganoon pa akong epekto sa kanya.
Maybe using the word "shallow" was a bit of a low blow. What we had was deep and anchored. I shouldn't have said that just to prove a point . . . I shouldn't have lied about that.
"See your way out, Ms. Mendoza," he ordered, his voice assertive and low.
Wala na siyang iba pang kailangang sabihin para hindi ako sumunod. Tapos naman na ang interview. I got accepted and that was it.
Naglakad ako papunta sa cafeteria ng ospital dahil lunch break na rin. There was a little regret in my heart, but I tried not to think about it. Hindi ako puwedeng bumalik sa umpisa. I had made progress in forgetting our memories and cutting him out of my life. It wouldn't be fair to toss away all my hard work just because I met him again.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto akong tulala. I just picked whatever looked good on the menu, but time went by and I didn't even eat a bite. I was thinking of Leon and the way he reacted. Kahit ayaw ko. Kahit pigilan ko.
"Mari?"
Napatigil ako sa pag-iisip nang may tumawag sa akin. I looked around and was surprised to see someone familiar sitting at a table not far from me.
"Paolo, hi!" I exclaimed.
"I knew it!" He chuckled as he stood up, carrying his tray. "Puwedeng tumabi?"
Hindi natanggal ang ngiti ko. "Yeah, of course."
Inayos ko ang pagkain ko at hinayaan si Paolo na ilagay rin ang tray niya sa mesa. Umupo siya sa tapat ko, malaki ang ngiti at maaliwalas ang mukha.
"How long has it been?"
We weren't friends . . . that's for sure. But there was something about seeing a familiar face that brought back old memories. Sa kanya noon selos na selos si . . . Leon. Maybe because he was brave enough to tell me how much he liked me, while Leon couldn't because I warned him not to.
"Graduation?" I chuckled. "Kumusta ka?"
He shrugged. "I'm an intern here. Nagme-med ako, eh."
"Really? Hindi ko alam na may plano kang mag-doctor."
"Hindi ka naman kasi interesado." Tumawa siya kaya nahawa rin ako. "Ikaw? The last time I checked, you're quite big in Italy."
"Not really . . ." I shook my head. "Pero dito na ako mag-s-stay. I just applied for work here, and I can start next week."
"Oh . . . kasi nandito si Leon? That's fair. Ang tagal n'yo ring LDR."
I focused my gaze on my plate before picking up the spoon.
"Matagal na kaming break ni Leon, Paolo," saad ko. "I didn't even know he was working here . . . until today."
"Are you joking?"
I rolled my eyes playfully. "Do I look like I am?"
"He's like the most trusted employee here. Highest-paid psychometrician . . . at nag-a-assist sa mga psychologists at minsan, sa research at seminars. Kind of a big shot. Hindi rin naman nakakagulat 'yon." Tumango-tango siya. "I didn't know you broke up."
"Well, we did." I chuckled. "It wasn't too ugly, but we did."
Nagpatuloy kami sa pagkukwentuhan habang kumakain. He was still the same — fun to be with. He was a really good conversationalist, which made me temporarily set aside my thoughts and pay attention to what he had to say.
Halos walang nagbago sa pangangatawan niya. He was still lean and fit and would have passed as a Korean model. He looked kind and gentle . . . unlike Leon, who seemed to personify ruthlessness in its purest form. Lalo ngayon. I don't remember him having shoulders that were as broad as they were now, and the way his sleeves fit on his arms gave off an air of strength and firmness.
Napabuga ako ng hangin nang mapagtanto ang tinatahak ng isip. Paolo was talking, and here I am, thinking of someone . . . irrelevant! Eh, ano ngayon kung mas malaki na ang katawan ni Leon? It's not like he was going to fuck me or anything.
What?! No, I mean, I don't even care about his goddamn body!
"Mari?"
"H-Huh?" I blinked. "Ano'ng . . . sinasabi mo? I'm sorry I was spacing out."
He chuckled. "What are you thinking? Ang pula mo."
"May naalala lang ako."
I took long, deep breaths to pacify my dirty thoughts. Kagagawan 'to ni Mill! She told me outright how nice Leon was for not sleeping with me, and now I can't stop thinking about it! Na para bang hindi ko sinabi kanina sa kanya na "shallow" lang ang naramdaman namin sa isa't isa! Or perhaps he didn't have sex with me because I wasn't attractive enough to him! We shared an apartment, yet he never touched me!
Fuck . . . where are your thoughts heading now, Amari?
"Can I sit here?"
Nag-angat ako ng tingin at hindi na nakapagpigil na mapasinghap nang makita ang lalaking laman ng utak ko sa gilid ng mesa namin ni Paolo. May bitbit siyang tray at mariin ang tinging ibinibigay sa akin.
Tumingin ako sa paligid para tingnan kung wala nang bakanteng mesa . . . pero napakarami!
"We're talking, Mr. Zamora," sagot ni Paolo, marahil ay napansin ang pananahimik ko.
"I see that," Leon said. He didn't even bother to look at Paolo. "Ms. Mendoza, can I sit here?"
My heart was pounding. What the hell is wrong with him?! Nakakahiya kay Paolo! We were just catching up! Isa pa, hindi ba at galit siya kanina noong umalis ako sa opisina niya? What's with acting casual now?!
Nakita ko ang pagbuntong-hininga niya. Walang salita niyang kinuha ang isang mangkok mula sa tray niya at ipinatong iyon sa gilid ng pinggan ko. It was . . . kare-kare. Hindi ko napansin na may ganoon pala sa menu.
Dahil hindi ako sumagot ay sa katabing mesa namin siya naupo. Hindi ko agad naproseso ang nangyari dahil halos mabingi ako sa lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.
Paolo squinted at me. "You sure you broke up?" mahinang tanong niya.
I looked down at the bowl Leon gave me and nodded. "The last time I checked, we did."
"I guess someone hasn't moved on yet." Tumawa siya. "Good luck dealing with that, Mari."
Napangiti na lang ako . . . kahit wala namang kangiti-ngiti sa nangyari. I just didn't know how to react. Leon was mad at me earlier! I was sure of that! Halos isuka niya ako palabas ng opisina niya tapos nakita niya lang akong kasama si Paolo ay aarte siya nang ganito?
I tried to focus on Paolo as we talked more. Mabuti na lang at hindi na siya nagtanong tungkol sa lalaki dahil hindi ko alam ang isasagot kung nagkataon.
"I have to go now," maya maya pa'y pagpapaalam niya. "Ang daming kailangang gawin."
I nodded. "Patapos na rin naman ako. Go ahead."
He stood up. "We'll continue next week, okay?"
Pinanood ko siyang umalis. Kanina ko pa nararamdaman ang nanunusok na tingin sa akin ng lalaking nasa kabilang table kaya nang mawala sa paningin ko si Paolo ay binalingan ko siya.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked Leon.
"I just want to apologize for my behavior earlier," he replied, eyes dropping on his food.
"At hindi mo puwedeng gawin 'yon ng ibang araw?" I breathed deeply. "Now Paolo thinks you still haven't gotten over me."
Hindi siya nakasagot agad. Kinuha ko ang pagkakataong 'yon para tumayo at ilagay sa tabi ng pinggan niya ang mangkok ng kare-kare na ibinigay niya kanina sa akin.
"We're too old to play games, Mr. Zamora. I don't know what your plans are or why you hate me so much, but can we at least be casual?"
"I'm not playing games and I don't . . . hate you," sagot niya.
Nagbuntong-hininga na lang ako at naglakad na paalis doon. Talking to him was nonsense. Hindi niya ba naiisip na mas mapapadali ang buhay naming dalawa kung aarte siya na hindi kami mag-ex? We'd see each other more often. We had to get along!
Nang mga sumunod na araw ay inabala ko na lang ang sarili sa pagbabasa. I took pictures of some of the pages in the books I wasn't done reading yet before returning them to the library. Nagpatuloy rin ang routine namin ni Mill. After our workouts, I would make her lunch, and before we went to bed, we would either drink beer or tea.
She had so many stories and rants about her work. Pansin ko ring may text nang text sa kanya na hindi niya naman pinapansin.
"May trabaho na 'ko bukas," sabi ko sa kanya habang nakahiga kami. "Tapos next month, mag-s-start na 'yong review."
"8-5 ka, 'no?"
"Yup. Kailangan nating mas agahan ang workout natin. Magdadala na rin ako ng lunch ko para hindi na ako lumabas ng office."
She chuckled. "Salitan tayo kung sinong magluluto. Nakakahiya naman sa 'yo."
"Thank god you finally suggested that!"
Dahil Linggo ay binisita lang namin ngayong araw sina Karsen at Gayle. Nakakapanibagong hindi na laging nakalabas ang dila ni Gayle dahil na rin sa therapies na ginagawa niya. She was also becoming more talkative, like her mom. Bulol pa rin ang pagsasalita pero mabilis naman nang maintindihan.
"Nangnang, may napindot po ako . . ." sabi niya habang tinitrintas ko ang buhok niya.
Sumilip ako sa kanya. Pinahiram ko kasi ang cellphone ko para hindi siya maglikot habang inaayusan ko siya. Naghahanda ng pagkain sina Mill at Karsen kaya sa akin naiwan ang bata. Gusto ko rin naman 'yon lalo at napakabibo ni Gayle.
"Bigay mo kay ninang ang cellphone," saad ko habang inilalahad ang kamay.
"Gagalit ka po?"
I chuckled and kissed her chubby cheeks. "Hindi."
Ngumiti siya at ibinigay sa akin ang cellphone. Hinanap ko kung ano ang sinasabi niyang napindot niya pero hindi ko naman nakita.
"Gayle, saan dito 'yong napindot mo?"
She pointed at the text message. "Paktis po ako spelling, nangnang."
I checked my messages, and my mouth opened in shock when I saw what she was talking about.
From: Unknown Number
Good morning. This is Leon. Your office is currently under renovation, so following instructions from the higher-ups, I will be sharing my office with you for the time being. We'll make changes to suit your preferences.
To: Unknown Number
Yabyu
From: Unknown Number
Ms. Mendoza? Is this your number?
To: Unknown Number
Hikari Gayle N. Gallardo Prep Misis Don Karsen N. Gallardo
From: Unknown Number
Gallardo? Nasaan ang tita mo?
To: Unknown Number
Nangnang mari mendosa
From: Unknown Number
Yeah. Nasaan ang nangnang mo?
To: Unknown Number
Priti nangnang
From: Unknown Number
That's true, Hikari.
Nag-init ang mukha ko sa hiya. Doon natapos ang usapan nila at kung hindi lang nakangiti si Gayle sa akin na parang proud siya sa mga spelling niya ay makakalimutan ko talagang bata siya. I kissed her cheeks once more before calling Mill to look after her.
Lumabas ako at agad na tinawagan si Leon. I wasn't thinking clearly, but I had to at least apologize for the messages.
"I'm sorry about that. Pinahiram ko 'yong cellphone ko kay Gayle. I didn't know you texted. Naka-silent kasi," I explained when he picked up the call.
Hindi agad siya sumagot kaya nagpatuloy ako.
"About the office, sure. You don't have to change anything. Temporary lang naman, 'di ba?"
I heard his breathing on the other end of the line, making my heart beat a little faster for some reason.
"You're with your friends?" he asked softly.
Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi bago dahan-dahang tumango. "Yeah . . ."
"You didn't go on blind dates?"
Para akong hinahalina ng lambing ng boses niya kaya imbis na magsungit ay tumango ulit ako na para bang nakikita niya ako.
"No," sagot ko.
"That's . . . good." Tumikhim siya. "So, you're just spending your Sunday hanging out with your friends and niece? Taking a break before starting work?"
I chuckled awkwardly. "Y-Yes. Kauuwi lang kasi nila. Honeymoon."
May kung anong kumirot sa dibdib ko nang mapagtantong ito ang unang beses na nakausap ko ulit siya sa cellphone. It brought back so many memories of the times when we were still dating as well as the times after our breakup when I waited for him to call me, even though I knew he wouldn't.
"How about yesterday? What did you do yesterday?"
Lumunok ako. "Uhm . . . I studied, took a long nap, worked out with Mill, had coffee, I don't know . . . just random things. Hindi ako lumabas ng apartment."
"And the days before?"
I pursed my lips. "G-Gano'n din. I didn't do much."
"Thank you for answering," he whispered. "About what Paolo thinks . . ."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Huh?"
"He's right. I still haven't . . . and I have no plans to."
Hindi pa ako nakakasagot ay nagsalita ulit siya.
"Ingat pauwi. I'll see you tomorrow."