Are you okay? I asked monster sitting beside him on our patio.
Yeah I'm Ight baby! He said as he finally looked at me.
Wanna talk about it?
Some Shìt you just don't talk about!
I understand. I laid my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me. "I'll always be here if you need me!"
I know, I love you!
I love you to!
Don't ever leave me okay?! I looked up at him and he had tears in his eyes I pulled him into me and held him a little closer.
Ja'Kari I don't never plan on it! I kissed the side of his head and took a deep breath. I do not like seeing him like this. I don't know what it's like to kill someone yet alone my BestFriend, someone you was super close with but I know it was eating him alive knowing what he did and how he tried to kill him.
I can just imagine the thoughts he had running through his head.
"It's gone be okay baby!"
He nodded his head in agreement.
The doorbell rang and I got up and went in the house to go to my door. "Mrs. Stevenson?!" Dre called out to me as I was walking to the front!
Yeah Dre what up?
Uhh it's a lady here.....She said she is your mother! Dre said moving out the way as I got closer to the door. I opened the door and it indeed was my mother. I didn't know if I wanted to welcome her in or not.
HiiiHii, Hi Queen! She stuttered through her shy scared smile.
Hi! I forced the words out my mouth biting the side of my lip. Last week I wrote my mother a letter and I simply told her I wanted to see her. I didn't think she got it or anything she never wrote back.
Can I come in? It's kinda cold out here! She joked.
Yeah, sorry come in! I said as I moved to the side. She came in looking amazed at my beautiful house.
Wow this is amazing and beautiful Queen! She said in shock.
Thank you, you can follow me! I said as I led her to the livingroom. We sat on the couch and I turned the TV down a bit. "Would you like anything to eat or drink?" I asked offering clearing my throat.
No I'm fine......I uhhh have to admit that I was shocked at seeing your letter. I contemplated on wether or not to come here. I'm sorry I just showed up. I just really wanted to meet with you. She spoke softly with tears on her tongue. She looked absolutely amazing better than the last time I even seen here.
I wanted to talk to you in some sense....I don't know...I wasn't really prepared for this or what I thought I was going to say to you when I actually did see you.
How about this! Baby girl I'm sorry! I'm so so so sorry! I know I messed your life up bad....and you hate me I know you do. And I hate myself to for how and what I put you through all these years. Your tuning out so amazing and doing so well for yourself.! And that's all I ever prayed for. I prayed for a day we would get the chance to talk one day. And.....(she had tears coming down her face) and that you would forgive me for all those horrible things that had happened. I just really wanted to apologize to you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. I know this is the most hardest thing to do for the both of us. But I just hope and pray that some where deep down in your heart you forgive me because I am truly, and I mean truly sorry and I'll do anything in this world to show you that I am.
Thank you.....I needed that...I needed to hear that! I'm still at a lost for words and don't really know what I wanna say but I forgive you. I don't think I can ever in my life forget but I do forgive you. And I can't keep holding on to the hatred in my heart that I have because it's blocking me from giving and receiving all the love I can possibly get from other people. I congratulate you on becoming clean and getting some help. It was long and over do. What made you change?
Well....I was already trying to change I was tired....I was tired and fed up of what I was doing, how I was living, I been in jail so many times, On the streets selling my body....never making enough to support my habit. One night I walked past this church it was 3am and I heard my name being called, I heard it loud and clear. It was like I know it was god. I opened the door to a locked church at 3am. I heard this voice say "Sarah your going to change.! Your going to start over! Ima give you another chance at life!" I cried and I cried and I cried so hard. I broke down it's like my eyes was open so clear after that. I was winging myself off drugs slowly everyday. That's when I seen you walking to school one day and you was so pregnant. And all i could think about was that you was so beautiful! You where glowing. And know what was done to you I just knew god was real, Miracles was real because you was carrying that life inside of you. I seen your brother the next day and he was in a bad shape. That alcohol got to him so bad and as much as I wanted to help myself I wanted to help him more. He began to get clean together. We went to church every Sunday. Giving our life to god. It was so hard and I mean hard. I cried almost everyday but I know I had a mission a motive and I was determined to be clean. Stay clean and become a better me! They gave me a job at the church than I got a job at McDonald's I bought a car and this lady taught me how to drive. And all I could think of is you being proud of me. I drove from Texas all the way here! I been clean since.! I been working almost everyday. Even your brother he's been free of alcohol, going to therapy and church, working and back to drawing. He's also in school as well as me.
I'm proud of you! I said through my tears. I never thought I would say that to my mother ever in this life time. She busted out in tears.
Ohh my god thank you! I have waited so long to hear you say that! Thank you! Oh my god!
I am....you came along way and I am proud of you. I never thought we would have this conversation. I was so angry at you for so long and I hated you! I hated you for literally everything you did to me. Everything you put me through and I didn't think I could forgive you. But I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. No one really makes it out alive and recover at that.
It's been quite a journey. But I'm just greatful to have done it. Thank you! Thank you for giving me this chance and opportunity it means a lot Queen!
Thank you for doing your part as well Sarah! I would like you to meet people special to me. I said getting up. I went into the playroom and picked my baby up and Austin hand. I led them into the livingroom and she broke down crying again. "Sarah this is Austin he is my stepson and blood couldn't make us any closer. And this is Prince but we call him by his middle name Ja'Kari! I said with a smile introducing my kids to her. She cried hugging them and holding them.
Hi guys! She squealed. "May I?" She questioned reaching for Ja'Kari. He was looking all around and smiling at her. "Queen he is so handsome he looks like you!"
Yeah, that's my baby!
How was your labor?
It was pretty okay....
I bet you won't have anymore though! She giggled.
Actually I will in a few months! I smiled.
Your pregnant?
Yeah....! I smiled.
Oh my god! God bless you, and your beautiful babies! I'm so proud of you and happy for you. You became a beautiful woman and fully grown into your name!
Baby ima go for a drive I'll be back ight! Monster said coming into the living room.
You sure? Want me to come with?
No, nooo! You busy plus the kids still up and you have company!
Actually this is my mom. Monster this is Sarah...my mom.! Sarah this is Monster, my husband! I smiled. She got up and shook her hand.
It's Ja'Kari.! Nice to meet you!
Oh like the baby! She smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you! I didn't know you was married!"
Yeah we got married in Paris a couple months ago!
Wow that's amazing! Congratulations you too! It's so nice to meet you Ja'Kari.
You to Ms Sarah! I'll be back baby! He leaned in and kissed me than our children before walking out the door followed by Dre.
Married Queen! Your 18! But he is a handsome guy so I don't blame you! She laughed making me laugh a bit.
Yeah, well it just happened....one of those things where you just know that person is the one for you...you can't go all day without talking to them and soon as you stop talking to them you miss them dearly. Every time you see that person it's like a fairytale! Butterflies when y'all kiss or touch...I just knew he was the one and we couldn't waist any time not being together!
Wow that's amazing I'm so extremely happy for you. And I'm sorry I wasn't the mother you deserved. I'd love to be in your life as well as your babies life if that was possible.
I think it's possible! I said with a smile. This felt so good to actually talk to her and nothing about it was forced I felt like it was supposed to happen.