| Chapter Five |
- 1.4-
• • • • • •
"What would yours be Phoebe?" Anna asked a fashion magazine resting on her lap, surrounded by her friends.
"Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!" Phoebe said with a smile.
"Yeah, see.. you took mine." Ross said turning to Chandler. "Chandler, what about you?"
Chandler thought about it for a second. "Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever."
Rachel sighed. "See, there's always one guy 'If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes.'."
"Oh hey, Joey." Anna said waving from her seat, watching as he walked over to the group.
"Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?" Monica asked but that big word went straight over Joey's head.
"Probably kill myself!" Anna lifted her head looking at Joey, making sure she heard that right.
".. excuse me?" Monica said not understanding what he meant.
"Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!" Joey said shrugging his jacket off.
"Joey, uh– omnipotent.." Ross said hoping that he'd catch on to the word that didn't mean what he thought it did.
"You are? Ross, I'm sorry.." Ross threw the newspaper down and stood up.
"It's never a dull moment with you Joey." Anna said smiling at the man with such cute intention.
• • • • • •
"Is she seriously asleep right now?"
"How does she do that?"
"I cannot sleep in a public place."
Phoebe was sound asleep in the cafe, looking relaxed and comfortable.
"Look at her – she looks so peaceful." Monica said tilting her head looking at Phoebe.
Suddenly Phoebe sat up, making everyone jump with a sudden startle. "Oh– what..what.. hi."
"Its okay.. you just nodded off again." Ross said to Phoebe who sighed.
"Why are you so tired all of a sudden Pheebs?" Anna asked as Phoebe rested her head on her shoulder.
"I got no sleep last night!"
"How come?" Monica asked.
"My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!" Phoebe explained as Anna stared at Monica with a shocked face.
"Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight." Monica said making Phoebe sigh with relief. "Anna– will you be joining us?"
"Oh, sorry Mon–Chandler had an extra ticket to an ice hockey game and he invited me." Anna said as Monica looked at her with a surprised face.
"I didn't know you liked ice hockey?"
"Oh yeah– I grew up watching sports games with my dad.." Anna said with a smile. "So I'm really excited to be amongst the crowd and atmosphere."
"I hope you have a lovely time with sweaty, beer obsessed and competitive men." Monica said as Anna just smiled at her.
Chandler stepped into the cafe with Joey counting as he looked at the ground. "Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here."
"You got waaaay too much free time." Chandler said slapping his hand against Joey's back before climbing over the sofa and sitting beside Anna.
"Here.. I brought you something you can wear to the game." Chandler said handing Anna an ice hockey jersey which she absolutely loved.
"Oh Chandler– you didn't have to do that.." Anna said placing her hand on chandlers arm as she pressed a soft quick kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."
"It's not a big deal– just wanted you to feel comfortable tonight." Chandler said truly hoping that Anna's night out would be unforgettable.
"Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you." Joey said handing Ross the tickets, nearly jumping in his seat with excitement.
"Happy birthday, pal!" Chandler said leaning across Anna to pat Ross on the shoulder.
"We love you, man." Joey kisses Ross's cheek as Ross chuckled to himself.
"It's not your birthday?" Anna said as Ross looked at her and nodded.
"That is correct– my birthday was seven months ago." Ross said looking at the guys.
"So?" Joey said shrugging his shoulders.
"So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?" Ross said knocking the nail on the head.
"Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."." Chandler said crossing his arm across his chest.
Ross noticed something on the ticket. "Oh my God, oh– is today the twentieth, October twentieth?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't notice." Monica said already knowing why that particular date was so special to Ross.
"Ohhh.." Ross said placing his hand against his forehead.
"What's wrong with the twentieth?" Joey asked looking at the siblings hoping for an answer.
"Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?" Chandler said wondering if that was the reason the date was such a sad day.
Ross sighed before telling everyone the story behind the date. "Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship."
Joey had a puzzled look on his face, not quite catching on to what Ross meant.
"Sex." Ross said as his friend nodded before handing the ticket back to Joey. "..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover."
"The hell with hockey, let's all do that!" Joey said standing up.
Chandler rushed over to stop Ross from leaving. "C'mon, Ross! You, me, Anna and Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy–" Chandler pretended to punch Ross. "Huh? Huh? Huh?"
"What are you doing?" Ross asked looking at Chandler who suddenly stop trying to be so manly.
"I have no idea."
"C'mon, Ross!" Joey said trying to convince Ross to go watch some manly ice hockey game.
"Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big foam finger?" Ross asked looking at his friends who instantly nodded their heads.
"You got it." Chandler said patting his hand against Ross's shoulder.
Everyone's attention was thrown to an extremely excited Rachel with her hand waving in the air. "Look..look..look..look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me!"
"Oh, congratulations Rachel. I'm so proud of you." Anna wrapped her arms around the woman who was becoming a strong independent woman on her own.
" I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed." Phoebe said as everyone looked at her with shocked expressions on their faces.
"Wow, you worked in a mine?" Monica asked leaning forward to listen to Phoebe's first job story.
"I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?"
"God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally—" Rachel ripped open the envelope and the smile slipped from her face. "not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what– Chandler, look at that."
Chandler nodded his head once he had a look at Rachel's pay-check. "Oh, this is not that bad."
Chandler threw a look over his shoulder silently telling us 'it's a pretty small first pay-check'
"You can totally..totally live on this." Ross said.
"Yeah.. of course you can." Monica said as Anna grabbed her designer purse and pulled out some money to give to Rachel.
"Rach, my coffee this morning was delicious." Anna said as everyone began to dig threw their wallets and give Rachel's some money to add onto her pay-check.
"Hockey!" Anna jumped up from her seat, following after the guys, quickly hugging the girls and wishing them a fun night ahead.
Anna quickly went into the restroom to change into the jersey Chandler had brought her, spraying on some perfume before making her way out and joining the guys as they waited by the door.
Three beautiful women stepped into the cafe making Joey and Ross stare at them as they stepped past. Chandler was to busy staring at Anna in a sports jersey (and honestly, she looked breathtaking)
"Hockey?" Anna asked as Joey and Ross snapped their attention back to her.
"Hockey!" They yelled together before rushing out of the cafe and making their way to the ice hockey arena.
• • • • • •
"Poulet passes it up to Leetch!" Chandler said as he kicked a soda can with his foot to Joey.
"Leetch spots Messier in the crease– there's the pass!" Joey kicked the can in the direction of Ross who was to busy looking through a shop window.
"We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes." Chandler said making Ross turn around and look at the three who were staring at him, wondering why he stopped to stare at some shoes.
"Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we... we first– y'know." Ross explained while smiling at the memory. "Fact, she, uh..she never took them off, .. cause we–we.." once Ross had realised the look his friends was giving him, he quickly snapped his mouth shut.
"Ross– it's perfectly fine to remember such a happy memory for both you and Carol.." Anna said placing her hand on Ross's shoulder, she could see how much this particular date was effecting him.
"Can we please continue moving, so we can get to the game already?" Joey said as everyone began walking again when Ross had to stop once again once he noticed something on the ground.
"What now?" Joey whines as he turned to face Ross.
"Peach pit.." Ross said with a sigh.
"Yes, bunny?" Chandler said looking a Ross with another confused look on his face.
"Peach pit. That night we, uh..we had–"
"Peaches?" Joey asked finishing the conversation for Ross.
"Actually, nectarines, but basically..."
Chandler looked at Joey. "Could have been a peach.."
"Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the–" Ross looked up at a sign and sighed. "The bus stop.. I'm fine."
"Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's!" Joey said pointing to the woman who just walked past. He suddenly stopped smiling once he noticed everyone was staring at him. "What? Thought we were trying to find stuff."
• • • • • • • • •
"Here's your pretzel and a soda." Chandler said handing Anna the food she ordered, she smiled at him as they walked to their seats with Joey and Ross.
"Gosh– this is so exciting." Anna said loving the sound of people cheering and the smell of greasy food filled the air.
Anna sat beside Chandler as the game began to play and everyone was supporting their teams, drinks were spilling from their cups, food was falling onto the ground.
"Get him! get him!" Ross had really gotten into the game. "Not laughing now, are ya pal!"
"Ross is really enjoying this game." Chandler said to Anna who was sipping her soda. "Are you enjoying it?"
"Oh it's been so much fun Chandler.. I'll have to come to more games like this in the future." Anna said leaning closer to Chandler, her voice getting lost with the loud roar of the crowd.
"Maybe sports games could be our thing?" Chandler said as Anna nodded her head.
"I would absolutely love to spend time with you watching such an amazing sport." Anna said turning her attention back to the ice rink.
"Oh! Look, look!" Anna shouted as everyone was nearly jumping out of their seats with excitement.
"He's open!" Chandler shouted as Ross waved his foam finger around in the air.
"Pass it! Pass it!" Ross yelled as everyone began to cheer once the hockey puck left the ice and went soaring threw the air.
"Oh my gosh! Ross, are you okay?" Anna placed her hands on Ross's shoulders as his head was thrown back, his hands cupping his nose. The hockey puck had ended up hitting Ross in the nose.
"Hey, look! We're on the tv thing!" Chandler said pointing to the screen as Anna being the kind person she was tried to help Ross the best she could.
• • • • • • •
"Ow, my nose really hurts." Ross said stepping into the emergency room with Anna holding his arm, with Joey on the other side.
"They'll give you something to help with the pain, Ross." Anna said patting Ross's shoulder as Chandler walked over to the desk, but was ignored by the receptionist who was on the phone complaining about a candy bar.
"Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room." Chandler said as the receptionist just stared at him with a cold expression on her face.
"Fill these out, sit over there." The receptionist said throwing a few pieces of paper in Chandler's direction.
Ross jumped up from the seat he was sitting on. "Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented."
"Well, you'll have to wait your turn."
"Well, how long do you think it'll be?" Joey asked tapping his fingers on the desk.
The receptionist gave a fake friendly smile. "Any minute now." Sarcasm oozed from her voice.
"We can't just wait here all night." Anna said leaning over Ross's shoulder. The receptionist just gave her a look. "I guess we can."
"This isn't fair, my nose is killing me.. your chairs are really uncomfortable." Ross whined once again getting a look that made you second guess your comment. "I'm gonna sit down."
"I think that would be best." The receptionist said turning back to the conversation on the phone.
• • • • • • • •
Anna was reading a magazine with her head resting on Ross's shoulder, flipping threw the pages.
"Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with?" Chandler told the receptionist who suddenly shut the glass between her and Chandler. "Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. "
"I feel like I've lost her." Chandler said turning with his back facing the front desk. Anna gave Chandler the signal to turn around as 'dora' had pulled the glass open again. "Ba!" Chandler jumped away from the desk in surprise.
After what felt like hours, Ross was still telling everyone about his 'first night' with Carol in great detail. Anna and Joey were playing 'rock, paper, scissors'.
"How are you so good at this!?" Joey said with frustration.
"Joey.. you whisper to me what your move is going to be." Anna said shaking her head.
"It's to catch you off guard." Joey said leaning back in his chair.
"Normally when you say what you're going to do.. you change it without me knowing." Anna said as Joey starred at her with a lost look on his face.
"I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow." Ross explained to Chandler who was nearly faking his own death in the emergency room.
"Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part – Could I get some painkillers over here, please?" Chandler sang out, suddenly feeling a headache beginning to begin.
"He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that." Joey said holding his arms out, not understanding the big deal with this particular moment for Ross.
"Look, it's just a little more complicated..."
"Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?" Chandler said as Ross looked at him.
"Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you..."
"Why is it so special to you Ross.." Anna said looking at the man who obviously wanted to tell everyone what happened.
"My first time with Carol was..." Ross mumbled the last part, nobody heard what he said.
"What?" Joey leaned closer.
"It was my first time." Ross finally told the truth.
"With Carol?" Joey asked not understanding before it finally hit him. "Oh."
"So in your whole life, you've only been with one—" Ross gave him a look. "Oh."
"Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight!" Joey said shaking his head in disappointment. Joey obviously wanted to be in a strip club right at this moment.
• • • • • • • •
"Hey Ross– you look great." Anna said as Ross stepped back into the emergency room, his nose all bandaged up with pieces of steel to keep his nose straight.
"Yeah, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs." Chandler said as Ross gave him a ice cold glare. "Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight."
"Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part?" Ross said before he began to look around. "Where's my puck?"
"Oh, ah–the kid has it." Joey said pointed to a boy sitting in the corner of the room.
Ross walked over. "Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck."
"I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers." The boy said sticking his tongue out at Ross who looked shocked.
"Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever—" Ross turned to look at Chandler. "can't do it." Not having the heart to finish the sentence.
Ross sighed while looking back at the boy. "Listen, uh– gimme back my puck."
"We would be extremely grateful." Anna said.
"Not happening, hot stuff."
"Oh just give it to me! C'mon!" Ross said as the boy held onto the puck tighter.
"No! Let go!"
"Hey! Hey! No roughhousing in my ER." The receptionist yelled from behind the desk.
"GIVE ME MY PUCK!!" Ross yelled gripping the puck when all of a sudden it flew out of Ross's hand and hit the receptionist in the head, knocking her out completely. "Now that was fun."
• • • • • • •
"Get ready to lose– ten years of gymnastics it's about to pay off." Anna said stretching before rushing over, and stepping onto the 'twister' mat.
"Okay Monica.. Right foot red." Ross said from the couch.
"Could've played Monopoly, but nooooo." Monica said hating that she would most likely lose the game.
"Okay pheebs– right hand blue." Joey had his eyes locked on Phoebe's butt.
"Anna, gonna have to twist for this one – left leg green." Anna had to slide her leg underneath Joey's legs, her hand was pressed against the red dot.
"Rachel, it's the Visa card people." Chandler said answering the phone.
"Take my place?" Rachel said as Chandler nodded and placed the phone back to his ear.
"Yes, this is Rachel!" Chandler said in a girly voice making Rachel snatch the phone away.
"To the left–" Chandler yelled before everyone had tumbled down onto the ground, everybody was now laying on the ground laughing.
"Oh.. I'm going to be fine." Rachel said as she watched her friends laugh together.